Reality Television

Have you ever watched America’s Next Top Model? We have (but only because of the lawyerly competitors). In recent years, the show has featured a number of plus-size women, with one of them winning the competition in 2008. Many critics have referred to these women as “fat,” wondering if these curvy girls could really stand a chance in the modeling world. But they weren’t actually fat, or even plus-size — realistically speaking, they were quite average. They just didn’t fit the so-called modeling mold.

So what happens when your run-of-the-mill model, a woman who has been called “very skinny, almost anorexically skinny,” is deemed too fat to model by her own agency? This is apparently what happened to the winner of Holland’s Next Top Model, who decided to sue over it.

Who is this skinny-fat model, and what does she look like? More importantly, how did she fare in court? Read on for all of this and more, including some slightly-NSFW pictures (not nude, but racy)….

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The first month of the new year turned out to be a great one for lawyers, but as usual, we don’t exactly mean that in the nicest of ways. January brought us new legal controversies of all varieties, from all kinds of places.

With terroristic threats allegedly made by an associate at one Biglaw firm, and scandalous sexual allegations raised by a partner from another one, we knew that we’d have a crop of crass and sex-crazed behavior for this round of our Lawyer of the Month competition.

That being said, let’s check out our nominees for the month of January….

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Paisley Dickey (left) and Pretty Woman (right)

You don’t have to watch much reality television to understand that these days, many cable networks are trying to capitalize on the drama caused by little girls and their overbearing stage mothers. Take, for example, TLC’s Toddlers & Tiaras, a show that that gives viewers an inside look at the often controversial world of children’s beauty pageants. Apparently the resultant mother and daughter tantrums were just too good to keep off the airwaves.

But in late 2011, viewers expressed outrage over the pageant industry’s tendency to sexualize children. After all, with mothers dressing their daughters like surgically-enhanced country singers, fake breasts and all, or hookers with hearts of gold, how could viewers be anything but horrified? In all honesty, some of these little girls — the ones who don’t aspire to be tax lawyers, at least — look like complete prosti-tots (see above).

This backdrop brings us to today’s Lawsuit of the Day, where the mother of one of these tiara-toting toddlers alleges that a well-known celebrity gossip site had a hand in scandalizing her daughter….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Mother of ‘Toddlers & Tiaras’ Star Sues for Millions After Daughter Is ‘Sexualized’ on the Web”

Kim Kardashian

What reputation? She doesn’t have one.

– Legal analyst Joey Jackson, commenting on allegations made in Kim Kardashian’s lawsuit against The Gap. The reality television star claims that an Old Navy commercial featuring a look-alike actress damaged her reputation to the tune of $15-20 million.

(A clip of the commercial in question, after the jump.)

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This Bachelor wasn't impressed with the credentials of one Illini 2L.

Still reeling from the producers’ decision to include one Latino contestant four seasons ago, The Bachelor franchise is back in Narnia this season with another all-white cast vying for the heart of Ben Flajnik, Sonoma’s most eligible winemaker and Geico Caveman lookalike. During the opening montage on the first episode, we see Ben drive a tractor, examine dirt, and wear a dusty leather vest — all key indicators that Ben is serious about his business.

Will such a serious career man be able to find love among this season’s pack of Dental Consultants, Trading Clerks, VIP Cocktail Waitresses, and other C-level executives? Luckily, he doesn’t have to. Also available for fake engagement this season is a sexy, seasoned Biglaw attorney.

Just kidding! Erika Uhlig, 23, is a completely average-looking 2L at the University of Illinois College of Law. Before that, she was a poli sci major at the University of Pittsburgh, and before that, she was Miss Chesterfield, Virginia 2006. Here she is singing the national anthem off-pitch in a dress from Dynasty.

To precisely no one’s shock, one of Erika’s law school classmates contacted ATL and opined that “she’s a b**ch”….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Fame Brief: Illinois 2L Is Kicked Off the Bachelor, Pranked By Classmates”

Kim Kardashian

* With AT&T’s T-Mobile deal falling apart, in-house lawyer Wayne Watts could be heard singing, “it’s my merger and I’ll cry if I want to,” before more whining to the FCC. [DealBook / New York Times]

* Build us a border fence, and then get the f**k over it. Arizona lawmakers are soliciting the public for donations to keep out the people who would work at low cost to build it. [New York Daily News]

* Ever wonder what’s preventing greater diversity in the law? Apparently the problem is pre-law counselors with advising skills that are crappier than minority LSAT scores. [National Law Journal]

* ‘Til death (and billable hours) do us part: British firms are paying for employees’ divorces. Biglawyers await the day this gets picked up America. [Press Association]

* The star of this year’s Black and Blue Friday was the not-so-wise Latina who decided it was a good idea to pepper-spray her Xbox competition. Best deal ever? No charges brought. [CNN]

* It looks like Kim Kardashian got her Christmas wish early this year. Her soon-to-be ex-husband will not be suing her for $10M over his portrayal on her new reality show. [Seattle Post-Intelligencer]

I object to this 'outfit.'

Remember that time when the New York City Bar wanted to hold an event to instruct women on fashion sense for the workplace? How about that show sponsored by the Chicago Bar Association where lawyers dished on fashion dos and don’ts?

Apparently these kinds of events need to happen more often, no matter how controversial they might be, because we still have law students out there who could double as pole-dancers (or worse).

One of our tipsters alerted us to an episode of TLC’s What Not to Wear — the world’s greatest guilty pleasure television show — that we seem to have missed when it aired last year. The show featured a 2L from a southern law school, but this girl dressed more like a prostitute facing arraignment (sorry, Reema) than the lawyer representing her.

So who is she, was she hot, what law school did she attend, and were Stacy and Clinton able to change this girl from a hooker to a looker?

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “A Crime of Fashion: When Law Students Dress Like Hookers”

I hope it hasn’t come to this. For the sake of Bravo, of reality television, of the legal profession in general, I hope this Craigslist ad is fake.

Because if it’s not, that means that Bravo is putting together a pilot for some kind of Beverly Hills-based, female-lawyer reality show, and the network is casting it on Craigslist through somebody who so has his finger on the pulse of whatever that he’s still using an AOL email address.

I mean… hey, calm down L.A. ladies, I’ll give you the damn email address in two seconds….

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We’re about to take all take a poll, and how you answer this poll will once and for all determine whether or not you are a good person.

I’m serious. You can lie on the poll if you want to, but you’ll always know how you truly felt. If you go one way, you are a good person. If you go another way, you are a soulless bastard. I offer no third option.

Although this revolves around a common legal situation, you don’t even have to be a lawyer to take and learn from this test poll.

Just watch this video….

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Nancy Grace: You'll be seeing a lot more of her.

Ever since the acquittal of Casey Anthony, people have been wondering: What has Nancy Grace been up to? The prosecutrix turned pundit got some major mileage out of the Casey Anthony trial, which she followed with maniacal dedication. How could she top her gavel-to-gavel coverage of the infamous “Tot Mom” trial?

Earlier today, “Nancy Grace” started trending on Twitter. It was from Twitter that I learned of Nancy Grace’s second act.

You’ll have a hard time believing this, but it seems to be true….

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