Last week, when I needed a break from educating myself about the differences between legitimate and illegitimate rape, I decided to turn my attention back to the question that consumes the mind of all single women over the age of 25 as cobwebs grow in our wombs: Why can’t I find a nice, professional man to take care of me?
But then I saw him. A beacon of light in today’s sea of unmanly men. Richard Schulte, from Ohio. But let’s call him Rick. Rick is a much more virile name.
His profile is so dripping with testosterone, I just have to go talk to him.
So, Rick, you’re a lawyer? Wow. Isn’t that, like, really scary and intimidating?
Rick Schulte isn’t afraid to go to trial, not a bit. Most attorneys are or at the very least, they’re apprehensive. Big difference.
Oh, we’re talking in the third person now? That’s hot. Natasha likes men who speak in the third person and aren’t afraid.
Please, tell me more….