Ronald Reagan

* Kleiner Perkins responded to Ellen Pao’s gender discrimination suit, and it’s not pretty. Not only does the firm’s answer deny her allegations, but it also calls into question her work product. [San Jose Mercury News]

* Joe Amendola’s preferred strategy at the Jerry Sandusky trial seems to be the use of the “tried and tested technique” of ignoring all of the alleged accusers’ tears and making them cry all over again. [New York Times]

* Who in their right mind would attempt to fake being a lawyer these days? Michelle Fyfe, a 43-year-old woman from Texas, is accused of forging a law degree from SMU Dedman School of Law. [Dallas Morning News (sub. req.)]

* Say hello to Baltimore Law’s new dean, Ronald Weich, the former assistant attorney general who penned the notorious false gun letter to Congress. Surely this ex-DOJ official will stand up to Bogomolny. [The Hill]

* This must be like getting it caught in your zipper — but much, much worse. A Brooklyn man claims that members of the NYPD “strangled his penis,” so he’s suing. [Huffington Post via Courthouse News Service]

* Reuben G. Clark Jr., a founding partner of Wilmer Cutler & Pickering (Wilmer­Hale), RIP. [Washington Post]

* And then Reagan said, “Take this, all of you, and drink from it: for this is the chalice of my blood, the blood of the new and eternal covenant, which will be auctioned off for you, by PFC Auctions, right after I sign this legislation outlawing Russia forever.” [WSJ Law Blog]

* It’s time for another “If Ruth Bader Ginsburg Dies, I’m Gonna Kill Her” article. Man, you never know. Ginsburg could end up out living Antonin Scalia with the right mix of ham sandwiches and cybernetic technology. [Daily Beast]

* Will being hot help this cop who was arrested for driving while drunk when she was on duty? Honestly, I’ve forgotten what she’s accused of already. [Explorer News]

* A new definition of piracy could cause any man who loves the freedom of the sea, the rolling of the surf, and the bounty of unprotected U.S. cargo ships to be branded a pirate. [CBS News]

* Every Harvard student tries to identify the Ted Kaczynski of their class. [Huffington Post]

* How to protect your iProducts at the beach this weekend. We wouldn’t want you to be without Above the Law. [Legal Blog Watch]

I have a temper.

That might surprise people who know me casually, like my professional acquaintances. I work hard to keep it in check. Over the past 17 years as an employment litigator (representing companies), I’ve gotten better at controlling my anger. But it hasn’t always been easy.

Because lawyers can be pretty adept at pissing people off.

In fact, I know many people who left litigation — even left practicing law altogether — primarily because they were sick of dealing with obnoxious opposing lawyers. And I’m not talking about thin-skinned, confrontation-avoiding types. I’m talking about solid, talented litigators who just stopped finding it fun to fight with douchebags all the time.

And this is more of an issue for newer small-firm lawyers, who are much more likely to deal with opposing counsel early in their careers than their Biglaw counterparts. (Maybe someone else here can write a post on dealing with obnoxious document reviews.)

So to help you deal with the toolbags that all litigators face from time to time, here are five tips that I’ve picked up along the way….

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