SCOTUS

* Always wanted to join the mile high club? Now you can just buy your way in by booking a trip on a sex plane. The seats are… actually just about as clean as standard airline seats. [Vocativ]

* State suspends a lawyer for not having an email address because how can you practice law without sifting through hundreds of requests from Nigerian princes? [IT-Lex]

* Kids steal a llama and hit the town. The kids got arrested. They should argue that they needed a therapy llama. [Kotaku]

* Is the decline in law school applications due to high-profile preaching or students responding to the market? [PrawfsBlawg]

* Texans are pushing to require justices of the peace to be licensed to practice law. That’s one new job out there for any out of work Texas attorneys! [San Antonio Express-News]

* The Supreme Court reaffirms that pretty much no conduct rises to the level of ineffective assistance of counsel. Defense counsel consider this a sad day for justice, but look on the bright side: your permanent vacation starts now! [The Atlantic]

* A new web series about lawyers trying to run a firm. They’re doing just about as a good a job as Dewey. [Lawyers The Web Series]

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Non-Sequiturs: 11.06.13″

* “Some discrimination’s okay. It’s only certain kinds that aren’t good.” We’ve got a feeling we know which side the Supreme Court will come out on when it comes to the Mount Holly Gardens case in New Jersey, so fare thee well, Fair Housing Act. [MSNBC]

* Hallelujah! After last month’s miraculous news of this troubled firm finding a savior in Cooley LLP, the Left-Behinders of the Dow Lohnes partnership ranks are counting their blessings as they slowly but surely find new homes elsewhere. [Am Law Daily]

* After a political process that’s lasted for ages, now all that’s needed is the governor’s signature, and then Illinois will become the 15th state to officially have legalized same-sex marriage. Hooray! [New York Times]

* Lawyers for accused Boston Marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev are annoyed that access to their client has been limited by jailhouse rules. A judge will slap down their motion next week. [National Law Journal]

* Bring it on: To keep things “simple,” prosecutors have dropped two felony charges against Kent Easter, the lawyer who allegedly planted drugs on a PTA volunteer at his son’s school. [Navelgazing / OC Weekly]

* What does SAC Capital’s $1.2 billion settlement with the government mean for the hedge fund industry? [DealBook / New York Times]

We’re a few weeks into the new Supreme Court Term, and it’s shaping up as a very interesting one. As veteran SCOTUS litigator Tom Goldstein said last month when he kindly joined us for one of our ATL events in D.C., even if the two prior Terms might have offered more fodder for the general public — Obamacare, same-sex marriage, affirmative action — the current one, October Term 2013, could turn out to be the biggest one for legal nerds in terms of the actual direction of the law in several areas.

Which brilliant young lawyers will get a front-row seat to the making of history? We’ve previously published the official list of OT 2013 law clerks, which we received from the Supreme Court’s Public Information Office. And now we have another gift from the PIO: the updated official list of the current crop of law clerks, which lists their law schools and prior clerkships.

Which law schools and feeder judges produced the most Supreme Court clerks for October Term 2013? And how is hiring looking for the following Term, October Term 2014?

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Supreme Court Clerk Hiring Watch: The Updated Official List For October Term 2013, And A Request for Tips”

* The Supreme Court might have dismissed the Oklahoma abortion case as improvidently granted, but not to worry, because the high court may yet get the chance to abort a woman’s right to choose in this new case from Texas. [New York Times]

* Wherein Justice Scalia seems highly concerned about toupees: yesterday, Supreme Court justices put their fashion sense to the test when trying to determine what ought to count as clothing under the Fair Labor Standards Act. [WSJ Law Blog (sub. req.)]

* The Senate is forging ahead with the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, but the bill will likely fail in the House because discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation is still cool with John Boehner. [CBS News]

* Wherefore art thou, ladness? According to the latest PricewaterhouseCoopers survey, profits per partner at top firms in the U.K. are behind profits per partner in the U.S. America, f**k yeah! [Businessweek]

* Bill de Blasio, the Democratic candidate in the NYC mayoral race, apparently has “deep ties” to Gibson Dunn, the firm behind Citizens United. Gather round, conspiracy theorists. [International Business Times]

* An InfiLaw school is changing its name to Arizona Summit Law. How kind to tip law students off to the fact that even if they climb all the way to the top, there’s nowhere to go but down. [National Law Journal]

* In 1967, Hunter S. Thompson explored the wild and crazy world of the Hell’s Angels. In 2008, FX premiered Sons of Anarchy. In 2013, the Hell’s Angels are filing intellectual property suits. Hard. F**king. Core. [Houston Chronicle]

* Who’s your favorite Disney princess? I’d say RBG. [Women You Should Know]

* Some folks are scared that recent FERC settlements are too aggressive and could “unravel the entire power market.” That’s either hyperbole or the scariest thing in the universe ever. [Breaking Energy]

* Loyola Law School started a fashion law program to serve this burgeoning industry. Pretty interesting stuff. And if you want to meet Staci Riordan, the woman responsible for setting up this program, join our Staci Zaretsky in L.A. on November 12, when she hosts a panel of fashion law experts including Riordan . It’s dueling Stacis! [Fashionista]

* The discriminating woman’s guide to buying pearls. I figured y’all just pulled identical necklaces out of a drawer like Marge Simpson. [Corporette]

* In cases of sex abuse, the expert witness is incredibly important. [The Expert Institute]

* Here’s a look at what may be next for Judge Scheindlin, who gave interviews revealing her bias because she said stuff like the government is not entitled to deference and should be forced to make its case. Oh my God, IMPEACH!!! [Ramblings on Appeal]

* Speaking of Judge Scheindlin, Elie was on HuffPo Live today discussing the ruling. Video embedded after the jump (around 11:08)….

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* “I Love Boobies” case may go to the Supreme Court. [Jezebel]

* Law firms are warning clients to beware of “Misclassification Creep” which is a “threat” to many businesses. Yeah, it’s a real shame that employees might start getting paid what they actually earn. [Corporate Counsel]

* Recurring ATL subject, Caskers craft spirits retailer, has been sold to Anderson Press. [Pandodaily]

* Meanwhile, another legally related business has raised a total of $850,000. Hopefully they can use some of that to make another hilarious commercial. [Techcrunch]

* Here are 10 things every new lawyer should do right now. Shorter version: start puckering up. [The Careerist]

* In horrible news, a missing Wayne State law student was found dead. [Detroit Free Press]

* A former Biglaw, current Midlaw associate has written a book and created this trailer to promote it. What if a sex toy manufacturer became a patent troll? Video embed after the jump…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Non-Sequiturs: 10.30.13″

* Justice Sandra Day O’Connor has joined Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg in being one of the only justices to perform a same-sex marriage. No divas here: the wedding ceremony was held at the high court because “[t]hat’s where she was.” [BuzzFeed]

* “Proceed with caution.” David Kappos, the former director of the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office, isn’t too keen on the latest patent reform bill that’s currently before the House Judiciary Committee. If only the man still had a say. [National Law Journal]

* Dentons and McKenna Long & Aldridge have released a joint statement to ensure the public that the proposed merger is still on. Good news, everyone! The firm won’t be named McDentons. [Am Law Daily]

* Ralph Lerner, formerly of Sidley Austin, has been slapped on the wrist suspended from practice in New York for one year’s time after improperly billing car service to clients to the tune of $50,000. [Am Law Daily]

* It’s been a year since Superstorm Sandy, and lawyers are still counseling their clients on how to muddle through the mess. Volunteer some pro bono hours and help out those in need. [New York Law Journal]

* After threatening to cut faculty positions, New England Law Dean John O’Brien is taking a 25 percent pay cut. He’ll only earn $650,000. Wow. I think we’re supposed to be impressed. [Boston Business Journal]

* Career alternatives for attorneys: rescuer of nerd relics. Head to this Brooklyn book store (of course it’s in Brooklyn) if you’re desperately seeking long lost science fiction tales. [Wall Street Journal (sub. req.)]

* We bet that folks in Australia would like to tell the the High Court to bugger off after overturning this ruling. Sexual injuries that occur during work-related trips don’t qualify for workers’ compensation. [Bloomberg]

* The four female Supremes gathered last night (and kept RBG up past her bedtime) to celebrate the unveiling of a lifelike painting of themselves that’ll be on display for years. You go girls! [Reliable Source / Washington Post]

* Now that cloture’s been filed on a would-be D.C. Circuit judge, these judicial nominations are getting exciting. You should probably get ready for a battle royal on Patricia Millett’s qualifications later this week. [Blog of Legal Times]

* The women over at Holland & Knight must be pregnant with glee now that the firm is offering incredibly attractive paid maternity and adoption leave packages in the hope of retaining its lady lawyers. [Daily Business Review]

* People want to know if they should take the LSAT in December or February. Are they serious? Take it in December so you can retake it if you screw up. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News & World Report]

* Aww, Barry Bonds wants the Ninth Circuit to rehear his obstruction of justice conviction with 11 judges instead of three. Perhaps he thinks that more judges will equal more sympathy. [San Jose Mercury News]

When you think about it, Snoop has a lot in common with Biglaw partners: no matter what they’re doing, they have their mind on their money and their money on their mind. Or maybe that’s what Snoop has in common with law school deans. In any event, what legal writing is sorely lacking is Snoop’s unique vernacular.

So when we discovered Gizoogle.net — a website that converts web pages into Snoop-speak — we couldn’t help but spend some time converting law school and law firm bios, SCOTUS decisions, and even one of Elie’s ATL articles.

I mean, any site that translates a Supreme Court decision to include, “It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack,” is worth spending a few hours playing around with.

Fo shizzle…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “What Would Chief Justice Snoop Dogg Sound Like?”

* Parties in the greenhouse gas cases before SCOTUS have agreed to trim the number and length of their briefs to reduce the number of times “go f@ck yourself and die” is written. [Blog of Legal Times]

* The latest patent reform bill up for debate promises that it will put an end to the trolls by forcing them to do more work before filing suit. If only it were that easy to keep the trolls at bay. [National Law Journal]

* Do the hustle, and blame it on Becca! A jury has found that Bank of America is liable for selling defective mortgages, and the potential penalty could be up to $848 million. [DealBook / New York Times]

* Since the law was puff, puff, passed, lawyers in Washington State have politely asked their Supreme Court if and when they’ll allowed to smoke weed and represent clients that sell it. [Corporate Counsel]

* Class certification in the Alaburda v. TJSL lawsuit over allegedly deceptive employment statistics has officially been denied. We guess that all good things must come to an anticlimactic end. [ABA Journal]

* Another law school gets it: the U. of St. Thomas will its freeze tuition at the low, low price of $36,843, allowing students to pay a flat fee for all three years of education. [Campus Confidential / Star Tribune]

* If you’d like to ace your law school interviews (which apparently are a thing these days), it helps if your personality doesn’t inspire ritualistic seppuku. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News & World Report]

* Michael Skakel, the Kennedy cousin convicted of killing, was granted a new trial due to ineffective assistance of counsel. Getting away with murder? Aww, welcome to the family, Mike! [Washington Post]

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