SCOTUS

* “There are no bathrooms, no air-conditioning, no good food. You don’t usually get good cellphone reception, either, and you can’t just quit and go somewhere comfortable.” Surprisingly, this Biglaw partner isn’t talking about his firm’s working conditions. [Miami Herald]

* It’s going to be difficult for U.S. authorities to prosecute Walter Palmer, the dentist who killed Zimbabwe’s beloved lion, Cecil. Bringing this guy down under the Lacey Act is going to be a real task. If only this were a Pixar movie with a happy ending. 🙁 [Reuters]

* SCOTUS justices are jet-setting across the world this summer, with RBG in South Korea and Vietnam, Roberts in Japan, Scalia in Italy, Kennedy in Austria, and Breyer in England. Let’s hope no one has to evacuate a plane via emergency chute. [National Law Journal]

* If you’re considering applying to law school and you decide to visit one this summer, aside from students huddled in dark corners of the library who are crying over their employment prospects, there are a few things you should be looking for. [U.S. News]

* The mother of Sandra Bland, the woman who hanged herself in a Texas jail cell last month, has filed a wrongful-death suit, alleging that her daughter shouldn’t have been arrested in the first place and was improperly supervised by guards. [New York Times]

* According to this former Supreme Court clerk, Justice Scalia’s judicial zingers are just like porn in that they’re “titillating, but over time they coarsen the culture of which they are a part.” (Plus, for what it’s worth, the jurist’s audience usually never gets a money shot.) [Washington Post]

* Better late than never? The ABA dropped the hammer on law schools trying to game their employment stats with a new rule that’ll force them to report school-funded jobs as part-time unless certain length and salary reqs are met. [WSJ Law Blog]

* The largest of D.C.’s largest law firms grew even larger over the past year, and thanks to a merger, an outsider firm — Morgan Lewis — managed to infiltrate the capital’s Big Four. Sorry, WilmerHale, but maybe 2016 will be your comeback year. [National Law Journal]

* In other ABA news, the Section of Legal Education and Admissions to the Bar rejected a plea for academic credit for paid externships, because we apparently want to keep students as indebted as possible before they begin their professional legal careers. [ABA Journal]

* A judge dismissed a lawsuit filed by Richard Lee, a known conspiracy theorist, who sought the release of the Seattle police department’s death-scene photographs from Nirvana star Kurt Cobain’s suicide. Hey! Wait! He’ll file a new complaint. [Seattle Times]

* Because sometimes the application of the law seems like an indecent proposal: Demi Moore is “in absolute shock” because she may be facing a lawsuit for negligent supervision due to a pool drowning that occurred at her home while she was out of the country. [Fox News]

* “The bow tie is a manifestation of my unwillingness to become part of the rabble.” Male lawyers face harsh criticism about their fashion choices, too, and these New Jersey attorneys will wear their bow ties with pride, no matter what. [Bergen Record]

* In a recent interview, Justice Alito critiqued his SCOTUS colleagues for adopting a seemingly limitless interpretation of the 14th Amendment: “I don’t know what the limits of substantive liberty protection under the 14th Amendment are at this point.” [Legal Times]

* If you’d like to be a federal appellate judge by the age of 35, then Judge Alex Kozinski of the Ninth Circuit has some advice for you. First and foremost, know where to “peddle your wares” — get a job in Washington, D.C., ASAP. [Concurring Opinions via ABA Journal]

* Managing partners, repeat this mantra: Don’t do a Dewey! Thanks to the D&L financial disaster, Biglaw firms have decided to cut back on or ditch bank loans completely and get by with a little help from their friends partners in times of need. [Wall Street Journal]

* After closing arguments in the Dark Knight movie massacre trial, the case against accused shooter James Holmes now goes to a jury. He’s facing 165 criminal charges, and if found guilty, he may be sentenced to death. [NBC News]

* A federal magistrate judge ordered the NCAA to pay almost $46 million in legal fees and costs to lawyers representing student-athletes in their antitrust suit against the organization, and he even likened the case to Game of Thrones in his decision. This is a monumental win. [Reuters]

* Last night, SCOTUS denied a stay of execution for Mississippi death row inmate David Zink, even though his lawyers cited Justice Breyer’s recent death penalty dissent in Glossip with high hopes that the Court would act in their client’s favor. [National Law Journal]

* For your information, the gender gap in the legal profession extends far beyond pay and partnership prospects. According to a recent study by the American Bar Association, about two-thirds of all attorneys who appeared in federal civil trials were men [WSJ Law Blog]

* Going to law school in an underserved community that isn’t overflowing with lawyers is great for résumés, because the University of New Mexico School of Law is seriously bucking the trend of its students having difficulty finding jobs after graduation. [KOB 4]

* Has America been duped by the greatest double agent in history? That’s one take on Eric Holder’s return to Covington & Burling (they even kept his office waiting for him). [Rolling Stone]

* The merger between Squire Sanders and Patton Boggs may have had a rocky first year, but the merged entity looks to get its lobbying game back on fleek. [Washington Post]

* It’s fairly unlikely Abigail Fisher has experienced discrimination a day in her life, but white privilege means this mediocre student will have yet another day in front of the Supreme Court. [For Harriet]

* One lawyer’s quest against the Commission on Presidential Debates and their implicit perpetuation of the two-party duopoly. [Law360]

* An issue near and dear in the hearts of many of our readers: how do you stay married to a lawyer? [Lawyerist]

* The top 4 funny [boo hoo] moments from the Dewey trial. [American Lawyer]

* Aww man, nothing’s going right for this firm: After facing mass defections that forced it to move to a smaller office, struggling law firm Gordon Silver is locked in a legal battle with its former landlord to the tune of $786,000 in rent that allegedly went unpaid. [VEGAS INC.]

* Ted Cruz isn’t the only person Ted Olson has a bone to pick with. Justice Scalia thinks the Obergefell decision is a “threat to American democracy,” but Olson disagrees: “[W]ith respect to Justice Scalia, who I do have great respect for, he is wrong.” [National Law Journal]

* Brooklyn Law School is selling off buildings left and right, and one of its prime pieces of real estate could sell for up to $30 million. According to Dean Nick Allard, its sale will serve as a “better advantage for the future of the law school.” [New York Daily News]

* Lawyers, make sure to draft your documents carefully, or else you could wind up getting screwed by an errant comma (or the lack thereof). An Ohio woman got out of a summons because she pointed out a missing comma in a local ordinance. [Lexicon Valley / Slate]

* From the sound of it, not all Uber drivers want to become Uber employees; some of them are perfectly content to be classified as independent contractors. That’s probably going to screw up that whole typicality requirement for this would-be class-action suit. [Forbes]

* According to Justice Jeanette Theriot Knoll of the Louisiana Supreme Court, the SCOTUS decision in Obergefell was not only “horrific,” but it was also “a complete and unnecessary insult to the people of Louisiana.” Gee, tell us how you really feel. [Slate]

* The First Church of Cannabis filed a discrimination suit against Indiana and Indianapolis, claiming laws against marijuana use and possession are infringing upon its members’ beliefs. We’re sTOKEd to see the outcome here. [Indianapolis Star]

* In case you missed it yesterday, a federal judge upheld the TTAB’s prior ruling on the Washington Redskins’ name, and ordered that the team’s trademark registrations be canceled. The team is going for a Hail Mary at the Fourth Circuit. [Washington Post]

* Ex-associate Elina Chechelnitsky’s sexual harassment and gender bias lawsuit against McElroy Deutsch, filled with allegations of better bonuses for men and creepy flirtations, was settled out of court. You go, girl. [New Jersey Law Journal via ABA Journal]

* Crowell & Moring recently dropped a suit against a former client that had allegedly failed to pay almost one million dollars in legal fees. There’s no word on whether the conflict was ever resolved, but if it wasn’t, it’s nice to see the firm isn’t hurting for cash. [Legal Times]