Which law firms are on a roll when it comes to producing SCOTUS clerks?
* It’s gettin’ hot in herre, so take off all your clothes. Nelly’s gettin’ so hot, he wanna take his clothes off — for his jailhouse strip search? The rapper was arrested in Tennessee this weekend for felony and simple possession of a potpourri of drugs on his tour bus. [CNN]
* “It usually takes much longer for a position to become so disreputable that no respectable lawyer will touch it.” If you haven’t noticed, Biglaw firms don’t want to touch the SCOTUS gay marriage arguments with a 10-foot pole. [New York Times]
* “I think we’re going to see a 10,000-lawyer law firm within five years.” In case it’s not entirely obvious by now, Dentons is trying to become the largest firm in the universe, with “no logical end” in sight to its lawyer hoarding ways. [Wall Street Journal (sub. req.)]
* “[T]his one has me bumfuzzled.” Like other legal experts, this law prof isn’t sure how to tackle Wisconsin Supreme Court Chief Justice Shirley Abrahamson’s lawsuit to preserve her power, but he does win the award for best usage of “bumfuzzled.” [Lacrosse Tribune]
* Yikes! Pennsylvania State Attorney General Kathleen Kane recently found herself embroiled in scandal after two of her offices were searched and she was ordered to explain to a three-judge panel her reasoning for firing one of her prosecutors. [Morning Call]
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It’s about time that we focused more on how law enforcement officers deal with the mentally ill, according to columnist Renwei Chung.
One of the unsung perks of sitting on the high court is grabbing dinner and drinks with power couples.
* That was quick! It turns out that David Aylor, the lawyer who once represented Michael Slager, the recently fired South Carolina police officer charged with murdering Walter Scott, kicked his client to the curb when he saw the damning video of the shooting. [Daily Beast]
* Everything’s bigger in Texas, including the number of federal weapons charges county court-at-law judges rack up in a single indictment. Seventy-year-old Judge Tim Wright faces up to 70 years in prison for allegedly selling guns illegally and trafficking them to Mexico. Yeehaw! [TWC News]
* Hot off its merger with Dacheng last quarter, Dentons is kicking off the second quarter of 2015 by merging with McKenna Long & Aldridge. Thanks to back-to-back mergers, Baker & McKenzie is now second to Dentons in terms of attorney headcount. [WSJ Law Blog]
* Warner Norcross & Judd refused to take up the defense of Michigan’s same-sex marriage ban before SCOTUS — but that didn’t stop the firm’s head of appellate litigation from getting involved. He’s now on a leave of absence from the firm. [National Law Journal]
* For those of you who are interested, here’s the ABA Journal’s question of the week: “What was the first moment you knew you wanted to be a lawyer?” For many lawyers, the question can be answered thusly: “When I realized I couldn’t be a doctor.” [ABA Journal]
* Which Biglaw firm just raised its starting salary for associates? Will this be the beginning of a revolution? Don’t you wish your firm would follow this firm’s lead? We’ll have more on this exciting salary news later today. [Legal Intelligencer]
* “With the decline of lawyers and law students, we were looking for new avenues to attract students.” William Mitchell Law may say its hybrid J.D. program was for its students’ benefit, but it was really only to put asses in seats — even digital ones. [CNBC]
* It’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday… when you’re a Biglaw partner trying to escape the terms of your contract by making a lateral move. Some firms are even holding capital contributions hostage to discourage partners from leaving. [Recorder via ABA Journal]
* Potential penalties for Supreme Court protesters seem to be getting stiffer. Perhaps federal prosecutors are pissed about 99Rise’s persistence, because this time, members of the social justice group are facing jail time for “haranguing” our justices. [Legal Times]
* According to the Administrative Office of the U.S. Courts, the U.S. District Court for the Southern District of Florida was the most productive federal trial court in the nation last year. When Flori-duh is kicking your ass, it’s time to reevalute your life. [WSJ Law Blog]
* Justice Anthony Kennedy says that while the Supreme Court is trying to attract more minority law clerks, lower court judges have it easier because they can recruit from local schools. Some justices have an Ivy League addiction, and thus, a diversity problem. [Legal Times]
* The next step in the confirmation process for Loretta Lynch, the lawyer who will someday be the first black woman to serve as U.S. attorney general, isn’t likely to occur until at least mid-April. Why the wait? SENATE SPRING BREAK, WOO! [Reuters]
* Give me maple syrup, or give me death: According to legal experts from the National Constitution Center, even though Republican candidate Ted Cruz was born in Canada, he still counts as a “natural born citizen” who’s eligible to be president. [WSJ Law Blog]
* Foley & Lardner partner Howard Shipley avoided a supreme spanking from SCOTUS over his submission of a garbled cert petition last year, but the high court took the opportunity to remind all lawyers to write “in plain terms.” [National Law Journal]
* How badly do you want to go to a top law school? Exactly how desperate you are to feel the warm and gentle embrace of prestige? How hard can you gun? Would you be willing to take the LSAT three times? [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News & World Report]
* This would-be POTUS can’t jump? Ted Ruger, Penn Law’s new dean, used to hang out with Republican presidential candidate Ted Cruz during law school, and he’d “like to think that [their] legal skills far exceeded [their] mediocre basketball skills.” [Philadelphia Inquirer]
* Why do we still need law schools considering the crisis in the legal academy? Please allow Noah Feldman of Harvard Law — an unbiased law professor — to explain why “law school is absolutely essential — not for lawyers with clients, but for our society as a whole.” [Bloomberg View]
* Apparently there’s some major drama going down with regard to which attorneys will argue the same-sex marriage cases before the Supreme Court. It seems that no one wants to give up their 15 minutes of fame before the high court. Sigh. [National Law Journal]
* These days, law schools are looking at more than their applicants’ GPAs and LSAT scores. Prospective law students now need to be “well-rounded and involved.” For what it’s worth, not minding going into debt is a helpful trait, too. [Omaha World-Herald]
* Another day, another gender bias lawsuit in Silicon Valley: This time around, Tina Huang, a female software engineer who used to work for Twitter, is alleging that the company’s secret promotion process bypasses women and favors men. [CNET]
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* A look at the ethical issues that arise when Saul takes a detour into “elder law.” [The Legal Ethics of Better Call Saul]
* Guess the law firm whose D.C. managing partner just said, “You would be hard-pressed to find another law firm of almost 200 lawyers that gets less name recognition than we do.” [National Law Journal]
* Everything is bigger in Texas — including the number of lawyers (300!) behind the effort to overturn the one-year suspension of prominent capital defense lawyer David Dow. [Slate]
* Linda Greenhouse on the Supreme Court’s “identity crisis” on voting rights. [New York Times]
Just because the plaintiffs’ standing to sue in King v. Burwell shouldn’t be an issue doesn’t mean it won’t be an issue, as Tamara Tabo explains.
Who knew Justice Ginsburg was so hilarious?
* According to the latest data from NALP, summer associate hiring is up for the fifth year in a row. Hooray! But wait, don’t go licking each other’s popsicles just yet — some law firms (35 percent of them, in fact) actually reduced the number of offers they made. [National Law Journal]
* In response to outcry over bar exam reforms, this Dechert partner took time out of his day to wonder: “Is it too much to expect that future lawyers know the difference between a tort and a tenancy in common, or do we expect clients to pay them $400 an hour to learn it?” [Wall Street Journal]
* Now that oral arguments in King v. Burwell have concluded, it’s probably time you found out what’s at stake for you if you haven’t done so already, procrastinators. This is what will happen if SCOTUS strikes down Obamacare subsidies. [WSJ Law Blog]
* Edward Snowden is reportedly ready to return to the United States, provided, of course, that he’ll receive a “legal and impartial trial.” Attorney General Eric Holder has already promised Snowden that he won’t face the death penalty, so that’s a start. [CNN]
* An ADA in Texas apparently referred to defense counsel as a “motherf*cker” in front of jurors during a trial. We think now would be a great time to add this to the list of things that will get you kicked off a case. [Austin American-Statesmen via ABA Journal]
* And meet the two legal heavyweights who will be arguing the case before SCOTUS. [Politico via How Appealing]
* Meanwhile, another Supreme Court has put a stop to same-sex marriage down in Alabama — for now. [Buzzfeed]
* General David Petraeus reaches a plea deal, requiring him to plead guilty to a misdemeanor and pay a fine (but no prison sentence). [Washington Post]
* It’s not as sexy as Obamacare or marriage equality, but the collection of state sales tax on out-of-state purchases made online is a pretty important issue — and Justice Kennedy wants SCOTUS to revisit it. [How Appealing (linkwrap)]
* A jury of eight men and 10 women will start hearing arguments today in the trial of Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, defendant in the Boston Marathon bombing. [How Appealing (linkwrap)]
* Legal ethics guru Monroe Freedman, RIP. [ABA Journal]
* “Taking the bar is like riding a bike. A bike that’s on fire.” Never before has there been a better way to describe what it’s like to take the bar exam. Here’s how some recent examinees were able to survive. Miraculously, no one preemptively sent a letter like this. [California Lawyer]
* DLA Piper is entering into happily married bliss with Davis, a 260-lawyer firm from the Great White North. An April wedding is planned. The couple is registered with American Lawyer and Vault. Give them a few loads of loonies! [Am Law Daily]
* Attorney General Eric Holder took to the op-ed pages to announce the Department of Justice’s official take on the constitutionality of marriage equality in America: “Nothing justifies excluding same-sex couples from the institution of marriage.” [USA Today]
* Speaking of Eric Holder, the attorney general released another official announcement yesterday. Ben Mizer will take over as chief of the Justice Department’s Civil Division. (For what it’s worth, people are making a huge deal over the fact that he’s gay.) [Metro Weekly]
* If you’ve missed a law school application deadline, don’t worry, because there are ways you can boost your chances of getting in. Having a pulse is only 98 percent of the battle — you’ll also need a tuition check. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News & World Report]
* You betta work… on those C&D letters! The viral picture of Cindy Crawford’s “unretouched” midsection is allegedly fake, and a lawyer for the photographer who took the original picture is threatening publishers with legal action if the supposedly doctored photos aren’t taken down immediately. [CBS News]
* You know that law school graduates from the Lost Generation are screwed when the first vignette from an article about the sad state of financial affairs for “recession millennials” is about a 2011 law grad who’s drowning in law school debt. [FiveThirtyEight]
* Folks are going crazy over King v. Burwell, so it’s a great time to run the odds on which justices will give ACA the axe. FYI, Justice Alito is “more likely to be struck by lightning while committing in-person voter fraud” than uphold Obamacare. [ThinkProgress]
* If you’re going to be in Washington, D.C., next weekend, why not stop by the Politics & Prose Bookstore to see David Lat have a chat with Adam Liptak of the New York Times? OMG, you can even get your copy of Supreme Ambitions (affiliate link) signed. [Facebook]
* With oral arguments in the King v. Burwell case slated to be heard on Wednesday, the Supreme Court is going to have a busy week — but most Americans won’t know about it. Below is a new TV ad pushing SCOTUS to allow cameras in the courtroom. [Fix the Court]
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