Screw-Ups

I realize, as a San Franciscan, my views on marijuana are somewhat out-of-the-ordinary relative to many other Americans. More specifically, San Franciscans as a group tend to forget pot is illegal at all.

But maybe we ain’t as crazy and/or progressive as we’d like to think of ourselves. Case in point: a prosecutor down south was busted this week when a joint fell out of his pocket — in court, while he was chatting with a police officer. Whoops!

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Grind up some brilliant legal theories, spice liberally with Bluebook-compliant citations, and voilà — law review articles!

Have you ever wondered how the law review sausage factory works? Perhaps you’re a law professor or practitioner who regularly submits pieces to law journals for possible publication. If you are, and if you’d like to know more about how the process works — or, more to the point, what law review editors say about you behind your back — you’ve come to the right place.

Thanks to the wonders of technology, collaborating with far-flung colleagues has never been easier. Here at Above the Law, for example, your four full-time editors — myself, Elie, Staci, and Chris — keep in touch throughout the day using Gchat.

But what if, due to inadequate security, your organization’s internal deliberations were accessible to the public? And, in some cases, even crawled by search engines?

What if you were, say, law students at a highly ranked law school, where you served as editors of a high-profile law review? And what if your, er, candid and colorful comments about the articles pending before you were to become publicly available?

What then? Let’s find out….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “A Look Inside the Law Review Sausage Factory — and Possible Evidence of Bias Against Conservatives”

Government websites have never been known for pizzazz or cool design. Half the time court websites barely seem to function on modern computers. At best, dealing with the government online is a boring, tedious chore.

So imagine our surprise — and hey, a little excitement too — when a tipster forwarded us information about a funny glitch buried within the State of Connecticut’s Judicial Branch website.

Click through to see some unexpected “erotic fondling” (don’t worry, this is totally safe for work)…

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Turns out judges sometimes value guns just as much as the rest of “real” America. We’ve covered judges who inappropriately brandish firearms from the bench, but as far as I know, I’ve never heard of a judge actually shooting his gun inside a courthouse.

Until today.

A state judge in Tioga County, NY, was censured after he fired his revolver inside his chambers. Was he shooting at a dangerous criminal? Nooope. It was an unfortunate technical malfeasance. It probably didn’t help that the reason he had a conceal-carry permit was because he approved his own….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Judge of the Day: This Is What You Call a ‘Lack of Good Judgment’”

They should have a booth at the North Carolina state fair for the best homegrown law graduate.

It is time for bar exam results already?

You know, if state boards of law examiners were actually attuned to the economic realities for recent law graduates, they would be trying to get bar exam results out as soon as possible. Right now there are a lot of kids who can’t even credibly start looking for jobs until they get their bar results.

Of course, when dealing with state boards of law examiners, we’re dealing with a group of people who administer exams under blackout conditions. In large barns. Without air conditioning. Bar examiners are not the most responsive group of people in the universe.

Still, one state got its bar results out quickly — which should allow a lot of time for failing students to challenge their scores…

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Are you kidding me?

Have you ever emailed a friend to tell him how pissed off you are at another friend — only to realize after the fact you accidentally emailed the friend you were trying to gossip about instead? Or have you gone on a bad date and texted the girl instead of your buddy about lame she is?

A little humiliating right?

What about accidentally emailing your litigation opponent a confidential mediation statement? It’s an express train to a crummy afternoon….

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Every day it seems the Apple v. Samsung trial couldn’t get any more exciting, but somehow every day, the court proceedings seem to ratchet up the ridiculousness. Samsung has rested its case, and commentators expect closing arguments to happen on Tuesday.

But the trial won’t close out quietly. The vitriol from all sides shows no signs of slowing down — least of all from Judge Lucy Koh, who has quite simply had it up to here with the tech giants’ bickering.

Yesterday she again tried to convince the parties to settle, without much success. Today, the judicial badass inquired as to whether or not counsel was on drugs. Good times!

Can you guess which side received the verbal beating?

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I'm not the guy you kill. I'm the guy you buy!

* A St. Louis plastic surgeon has been sued for allegedly posting topless photos of her breast augmentation patients online — with their names attached to the photos. It’s just more evidence that sooner or later everyone will be naked on the internet. [St. Louis Post-Dispatch]

* Dewey have enough partners to make the Partner Contribution Plan viable? It seems that we do! [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]

* Wow, the miracles of technology. Now if you have a paternity dispute that you need to clear up, you don’t need to go on Jerry Springer. All you need to do is visit your local taco truck DNA testing van. [Legal Blog Watch]

* You know that scary feeling when it seems you have forgotten something but you can’t figure out what it is? Well, you forgot your toddler — at the grocery store. There, fixed it for you. [Legal Juice]

* Oh boy, another misbehaving state judge. This one, from Georgia, allegedly pre-signed arrest warrants and hit on a woman who appeared before him in court. Sounds like quite the stand-up dude. [Atlanta Journal Constitution]

* What are the top five movies all law students should watch? Let the arguing over this list begin… [Greedy Associates]

* I’m sure there must have been a legitimate reason for a federal judge to compare the civil liberties of Muslim Americans to a “hideous sea monster,” but c’mon, really? [Chicago Tribune]

As the Apple v. Samsung trial continues speeding along at the speed of, well, a first generation iPhone with low battery, we finally had some real developments in court yesterday, breaking up the recent monotony of expert witnesses and attorney v. attorney quibbling.

Apple rested its case, and Samsung managed to score a minor victory by getting a few of its phones dropped from the case. Seeing as there are more than a dozen phones at issue, it’s definitely a minor victory, but it’s better than nothing — especially since Samsung’s Quinn Emmanuel lawyers haven’t exactly been the popular kids in court so far…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Apple Rests Its Case, Samsung Claims Small Victory, and Judge Koh Continues Awesomely Busting Heads”

So, the Apple v. Samsung trial is on break for one more day, but that doesn’t mean the digital drama is fading. The trial has become ubiquitous in the news. We’ve got a clip from Conan O’Brien mocking opining on the proceedings… or more specifically, Samsung. And we’ve got word that another Quinn Emanuel partner is in the hot seat.

UPDATE (5:09 PM): We have added Quinn Emanuel’s official response to the newest controversy at the end of this post. It’s a doozy.

In the meantime, one news outlet is heralding the case as the trial of the century, while another says the outcome is irrelevant anyway. So let’s take a step back and think about what it all means…

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