Sentencing

Morning Docket: 07.19.11

By

Paul Oetken

* Ja Rule, another resident of Lat’s hometown, was sentenced to 28 months in jail, for failing to pay taxes. Rather than making some joke about him not being Always On Time with his tax payments, let’s instead just celebrate the existence of this hilarious picture. [Associated Press]

* J. Paul Oetken was confirmed to the S.D.N.Y. yesterday by the Senate, making him the first openly gay man appointed to the federal bench. I think it’s great that Chuck Grassley announced shortly before the vote that he would be supporting the nomination, but I also think it was unnecessary and offensive that he ended his announcement with “nohomo.” [Poliglot]

* Rupert Murdoch’s testifying before Parliament this morning which promises to be the Super Bowl for anglophile nerds. Will the old man survive? [Bloomberg]

* The News Corp. phone-hacking scandal has led to plenty of work for attorneys on “both sides of the pond.” This case is like the BP oil spill of dead girls’ phones being hacked. [Am Law Daily]

* Did Casey Anthony search for chloroform once or 84 times? The world is on tenterhooks, whatever that means. [New York Times]

* Another town clerk has resigned in New York due to gay marriages. The trials God is putting these people through remind me of the story of Gob. I think I spelled that right. [New York Post]

18 Comments

Casey Anthony: The Sentence

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First, I just want you all to know that I hate you guys for making me follow this story. Seriously, I even wrote wrote a song about it.

Anyway, Casey Anthony has been sentenced for lying to the cops. She’s getting four years. BUT, she’s getting credit for her time already served. That means she could be out by late July or August.

I’ll now pause for you to express your collective outrage….

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They Want To Send This Child Prankster To Jail, And Nobody Even Killed Themselves Over It

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A blow-up doll: Is there anything you could do with this that would be an act of terror?

Am I the only person who remembers what it was like to be a teenager? Am I the only freaking person up in here that values a good prank? Am I the only person left on this go***mn planet who doesn’t think teenagers who commit pranks should go to jail regardless of how much somebody overreacts to the prank?

Kids these days don’t need a school nurse; they need a school lawyer. Because the minute somebody scrapes a knee is the minute a parent, teacher, or official starts looking for somebody to blame and prosecute to the fullest extent of the law. Kids should be freaking Mirandized before they answer any questions posed by school officials.

Sorry, let me bring you up to speed on this latest example of a teen acting like a teen while the adults act like children….

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Breaking: Madoff Sentenced to 150 Years

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Bernie Madoff has been sentenced to 150 years.

Judge Denny Chin said that the sentence was necessary to deter other people from entering into these kinds of schemes.

The Judge apparently said that he was struck that there was no letter written in support of Bernie Madoff. On the other hand, the judge received 141 pages of letters from Madoff victims.

Madoff allegedly said:

They have accused me and my wife of not being sympathetic. She cries every night, I am also tormented.

Umm … crying doesn’t make you sympathetic. I think instead of turning on the waterworks, Madoff should try not stealing billions of dollars.

But Madoff did apparently say: “I am sorry.”

But the pitchfork rally doesn’t have to end here. Next up: what prison will Madoff be heading to? A “club-fed” facility, or someplace where Madoff might expect “more bareback.”

For extensive and ongoing coverage of L’Affaire Madoff, surf over to our sister site, Dealbreaker.

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