Silvio Berlusconi

* Texas Hold ‘Em loses to Second Circuit on the River. [The Volokh Conspiracy]

* Compiling a collection of historical White House counsel advice was a labor of love. The collection includes advice on issues ranging from dealing with Leon Trotsky to blockading Cuba. Advice on treaty with Roswell visitors conspicuously absent. [WSJ Law Blog]

* An incoming 1L at Ole Miss takes to Craigslist to find a “young cute girl” to be “arm candy I spoil.” Ick. [Craigslist (in case that comes down, here's a screenshot)]

* Johnny “Football” Manziel’s alleged autograph-for-pay scheme has prompted Texas A&M to hire Lightfoot, Franklin and White, the law firm that helped out Auburn when Cam Newton totally got paid to play was wrongfully accused of taking payments. [USA Today]

* D.C. Circuit Judge Janice Rogers Brown has hired former bank robber and jailhouse lawyer Shon Hopwood as her new clerk. An awesome story actually. [Blog of the Legal Times]

* Oh closed circuit surveillance, is there anything you can’t do? A police officer in Italy’s Supreme Court has earned some Internet fame after being caught dancing to YMCA while waiting for the verdict in Silvio Berlusconi’s trial. Original video after the jump. Check out Legal Cheek for some viewer-created homages. [Legal Cheek]

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If you are my age, this is probably the first ‘damsel’ you proactively hoped would not be saved.

* This is interesting, a lawyer for Paula Deen is saying the woman suing the (former) Food Network star has no standing for claiming a racially hostile environment because the plaintiff is white. So… white people can’t get offended by a lunatic running around talking about dancing ni****s? [ABA Journal]

* I was going to say, “I think Indiana Jones would be worse if he had a contract lawyer as a sidekick.” But then I remembered the Steven Spielberg ruined an entire movie because he wanted to bone Kate Capshaw and, yeah, I’d have taken a lawyer sidekick over her any day. [Legal Geeks]

* I’m constantly amazed at how the SCOTUS clerks don’t leak. I mean, the NSA freaking leaked. [Judicial Clerk Review]

* Vance basically means that if you are broke and you’ve been dying to smack your partner’s administrative assistant on the ass, go for it. “Conservatives” think that’s just fine. [Huffington Post]

* Of course you can leave Patton Boggs, just don’t let the door hit you on the way out. [Blog of the Legal Times]

* At this point, you will believe any sentence that starts with: “Former Italian prime minister Silvio Berlusconi…” [Dealbreaker]

* After the jump, watch one of George Zimmerman’s defense attorneys, Don West, begin his opening statement in A FREAKING MURDER TRIAL with a failed knock-knock joke

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Jared Lee Loughner

* The attorney of Jared Lee Loughner will likely dig back several generations in order to establish her client’s lunacy. Apparently Loughner was an avowed nihilist. I mean, say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism… [New York Times]

* Meanwhile, newspapers have grappled with how to use the batsh*t mugshot of Jared Loughner. Although “grappled” might be too strong a word as that cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs grin stares out a thousand-fold from every newsstand.[Washington Post]

* Silvio Berlusconi’s lawyers are trying to persuade an Italian court that he is immune from prosecution in two separate cases brought against him. Bunga Bunga. [BusinessWeek]

Eva Longoria

* Eva Longoria was sued for violating California state usury laws. When Tony Parker heard the news, he surrendered. Cause he’s French. He’s French, guys. Get it? [msnbc.com]

* An Iranian human rights lawyer has been sentenced to 11 years in prison, five of those years for not wearing a hijab. Reports are unclear, however, whether or not she is a lush Persian beauty. [CNN]

* Yesterday, a judge ordered that Michael Jackson’s physician stand trial for involuntary manslaughter in the singer’s moonwalk off this mortal coil. [ABA Journal]

* “A Spanish teacher who was fired for getting hot and sweaty with another woman in a Brooklyn classroom is suing to get her job back.” [New York Post]