South Park

* McDonald’s is paying $26 million to settle a wage-theft lawsuit. That would go a long way on the dollar menu… [Business Insider]

* Senate Democrats met with Judge Amy Coney Barrett yesterday ahead of Supreme Court confirmation hearings next week. [Fox News]

* A new ABA ethics opinion suggests that lawyers need to disclose friendships and intimate relationships they have with opposing counsel to their clients. But some of us try to be friends with everyone… [Bloomberg Law]

* A lawyer for Britney Spears has purportedly likened Britney’s mental state to a comatose patient, and says that she is unable to give testimony. Maybe this lawyer is watching too much South Park. [TMZ]

* An Ohio lawyer has been suspended for calling another attorney a “complete idiot” and making other purportedly inappropriate responses. They must have some strict civility standards in the Buckeye State… [ABA Journal]

* A Cincinnati lawyer has pleaded guilty to buying a $3,000 tiger-skin rug in violation of the Endangered Species Act. Maybe he was just a huge fan of Joe Exotic? [Enquirer]

* A South Florida lawyer says he has spent around $700,000 to recover $100,000 over the principle of it all. [Daily Business Review]

* Parents are claiming in a new lawsuit that remote learning because of COVID-19 denies some children a basic education. [News Tribune]

* The Florida lawyer who wore a grim reaper outfit to warn about the dangers of COVID-19 is now using a mobile billboard to protest Governor Ron DeSantis’s response to the pandemic. [Florida Phoenix]

* A California lawyer who called a female judge’s opinion “succubustic” is suing over potential ethics consequences for the comment. If it weren’t for South Park, I would have no idea what that meant… [ABA Journal]

* President Trump’s former lawyer Michael Cohen may have to go back to prison because he dined out last Friday night. Unless that restaurant was Casa Bonita, it wasn’t worth it… [New York Post]

* A Virginia lawyer is in hot water for selling the stock of his two deceased former law partners and pocketing the proceeds. [Roanoke Times]

* Amazon is being sued for allegedly firing an employee for bringing her child to work. [New York Post]

* A Florida lawyer has lost his law license for settling cases without his clients’ permission. [Florida Times-Union]

* Texas has become the latest state to postpone the bar exam amid concerns over COVID-19. [Texas Tribune]

* Three Utah County prosecutors have resigned after a defense attorney paid for their tickets to see the Utah Jazz. If you’re going to forfeit your job over some graft, it should be way more valuable than some measly basketball tickets… [Salt Lake Tribune]

* The attorney at the heart of the New Rochelle COVID-19 cluster is awake and recovering well. [New York Post]

* Netflix is facing a lawsuit filed by the prosecutor involved in the infamous Central Park jogger case because the Netflix series dramatizing the matter allegedly depicted the prosecutor in a bad light. [Guardian]

* Katy Perry has defeated a lawsuit alleging that she plagiarized one of her songs from a Christian artist. There’s a South Park reference in here somewhere… [Christian Post]

* A company that bought Theranos patents is using them to sue a company that is working on COVID-19 tests. Seems like a worthy legacy for Theranos. [Business Insider]

* The Baltimore State’s Attorney will stop prosecuting drug possession, prostitution, and other crimes because of the COVID-19 pandemic. This would have made a great plot line in The Wire. [Baltimore Sun]

Bad things can happen to you if you don't read service agreements.

* New York court authorizes service over Facebook. Finally, a reason to use Google Plus. [Slate] * Texas struck down the statute banning upskirt photos. The decision is more interesting than the sound byte press it’s getting. [Popehat] * Some PR advice may be privileged. Which is good because the law needs to incentivize companies trying to cover up possible legal liabilities. It might be more nuanced than that, but still. [Corporate Counsel] * In the wake of the passing of Tommy Boggs, a profile on his power within Patton Boggs, including details of the final year leading up to its merger. [National Law Journal] * A roundup of early reviews for Supreme Ambitions (affiliate link). [Supreme Ambitions] * On choosing a criminal defense lawyer and why you might not want some reformed prosecutor. [Katz Justice] * The Senate confirmed Gordon Tanner as general counsel to the Air Force. This is noteworthy because it reflects just how quickly the country has progressed from affirmative witch hunts, to “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” to confirming a gay man as the top lawyer for a branch of the Armed Forces. [Washington Blade] * A 49er fan is suing the NFL for $50 million for a policy that limited ticket sales to customers in Seahawks territory. Based on the season so far, he luckily won’t have to worry about the 49ers in the playoffs this year. [ESPN] * Speaking of football, South Park ran an ad limited to D.C. during the Washington-Eagles game. See Eric Cartman school Dan Snyder on trademark law after the jump…. [SB Nation]

* PETA sends Bebe a cease-and-desist letter over fur-free advertising. To be honest, I only understood half of what I just wrote. [Fashionista] * Here are five reasons why editors hate lawyers. Of course, when the editors are lawyers, you just kind of end up hating yourself. [About Editing And Writing] * Can someone explain to me how it’s constitutional for Virginia to promise not to enforce laws? [Pilot] * Did you enjoy the South Park episode that involved proprietary towel technology? Then you’ll love this lawsuit! [Thomson Reuters News and Insight] * I asked Professor Rick Hasen whether or not I should self immolate to prevent the GOP from legally rigging the next election, and he’s telling me to chill out because it’s gonna be okay. [Slate] * I’ve been trying to find an excuse to link to this. It’s a guy who is blogging about news from 1913 as if it was happening in real time, in this technological environment. Here, we look at some very swift Southern-style justice. [Retro Pundit] * I must admit, I wanted to pull out my Leonardo DiCaprio coconut drinking goblet to fully enjoy this rich-white-man fight. [Dealbreaker] * Belated congratulations to Elbert Lin, aka Mr. LEWW, on his appointment as solicitor general for West Virginia. [Bench Memos / National Review Online]