Sports

NFL linebacker Aldon Smith was arrested at LAX after reportedly telling TSA officials screening him that he had a bomb. He apparently said it in frustration as they put him through a separate screening. Yelling bomb in an airport, though, is a big no no, and he has been slapped with charges for making a bomb threat…

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The National Football League has sort of, kind of, not really addressed its concussion problem by paying former players a pittance and then doing absolutely nothing about the culture of the sport. I guess that’s not totally true. The Denver Broncos went out of their way not to hit anybody during the Super Bowl.

Meanwhile, Hockey — Canada’s pastime and America’s after thought — has largely escaped scrutiny. It’s not that people overlook the violence in the sport, it’s just people mistake the occasional fisticuffs for the most extreme “violence” in the sport. As opposed to plays like, say, this. As you watch that guy leveled and smashing head first into the ice, remember that unlike football, these people by and large didn’t wear helmets until the 80s.

One concussion lawsuit was filed back in November. That one was boringly straight-forward.

Now comes a second lawsuit sprinkled with errors and crazy talk. Perhaps it’s a performance art piece on the horrors of concussions.

Let’s check out the 5 craziest takeaways from the new NHL suit….

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Katherine Heigl

* A three-judge panel of the Tenth Circuit seemed a bit torn as to the constitutionality of Utah’s same-sex marriage ban during oral arguments yesterday. This one could be a contender to go all the way to the Supremes. [New York Times]

* Another concussion lawsuit has been filed against the National Hockey League by a group of former players, this time alleging a culture of “extreme violence.” The pleadings are a bit… odd. We’ll have more on this later today. [Bloomberg]

* “We’re not going back to 2006 anytime soon,” says NALP executive director Jim Leipold. The legal sector lost lots of jobs in the recession, and they’re not likely to come back. Happy Friday! [National Law Journal]

* It’s never too soon to start writing your law school application essay. Please try not to bore the admissions officers — make sure you have a “compelling” topic. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News]

* Katherine Heigl (remember her?) probably needed some cash, so she filed a $6M lawsuit against Duane Reade for posting a picture of her carrying one of the drugstore’s bags on Twitter. [Hollywood Reporter]

In the often uncreative world of law school, intramural sports (along with Law Revue… did you know we have a contest coming up?) offers one of the rare opportunities to show your creative side. The unwritten code of intramural sports is that any team worth its salt must have a clever team name. Law jokes are appreciated, but dorky. Borderline inappropriate stuff is best.

As the host of several ATL/Kaplan Bar Prep Bar trivia nights, I’ve enjoyed some of the borderline team names law students can concoct if given an outlet and some booze. And intramural sports are a lot like playing bar trivia: lots of booze and absolutely no athletic skill.

But there’s a controversy brewing at a certain law school over a softball team’s name. So let’s play: “Funny or Inappropriate?” shall we?

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The NCAA claims to be committed to a “culture of personal responsibility and individual accountability.” Unfortunately that culture does not extend to its leadership, who whine and bully with the best of them when the law doesn’t let them indulge their every whim.

Witness the NCAA’s annual Final Four address over the weekend. NCAA President Mark Emmert and Big 12 commissioner Bob Bowlsby told the press that they are prepared to forfeit millions rather than accede to a legal obligation to share any revenue with players. This isn’t the first time NCAA Bigwigs have lobbed the threat of blowing up their own cash cow rather than share with the kids risking injury in the gladiatorial pit for the benefit of universities. Last year, Big Ten commissioner Jim Delany said that his schools would quit Division I athletics if the Ed O’Bannon case rules that schools can’t unilaterally sell the likenesses of players for profit.

There’s a certain majesty in being so committed to cutting off your nose to spite your face….

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In your dreams, Dean Morrison.

I still have many friends at Columbia, and it was great to see them. I was on the faculty appointments committee that helped hire some of them, and I now regret that we placed such emphasis on their basketball abilities in the hiring process.

– Dean Trevor Morrison of NYU Law, talking about his former colleagues after playing in the faculty portion of the 14th annual Deans’ Cup basketball game between NYU and Columbia. The NYU Law faculty lost, but Morrison says he “look[s] forward to being a liability on [the] faculty team again next year.”

‘My dad’s gonna sue you so hard, bro.’

A few years ago, Deadspin had a post up wondering if lacrosse players were “predestined to be dicks.” Thanks to a recent lawsuit that was filed, we can finally give a conclusive answer to that question. Yes, friends, LAX bros are predestined to be douchebags, and their general assholery seems to be deeply ingrained in them due to the very parents who raised them.

Don’t believe us?

Cast your eyes upon the case of little Billy, whose father — an IP litigator who happens to be a LAX coach for a rival league — is now suing for damages. This sports-obsessed sideline dad alleges that his son was benched in retaliation, an obvious violation of the federal racketeering act.

Get ready for face off, folks…

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Duke: national champions when it comes to law school softball.

* According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the legal sector added 2,300 jobs in 2014. Our sincere condolences go out to all those who are still “too overqualified but too under-experienced,” all at the same time, to get hired. [Am Law Daily]

* This lawyer protested jury duty by emailing the judge to say she’d “blame the plaintiff” for making her work nights and weekends for her client, but she can only blame herself for having to spend the night in jail. Oopsie! [Daily Report (reg. req.)]

* “Would it be great if all unpaid internships paid really well? Sure. It would also be great if my dog made breakfast for me every morning, but I am not going to file a lawsuit over it.” Yep. [Los Angeles Times]

* The law school transparency movement has come quite far since its inception, but there’s a lot of room for improvement. Encourage your school to hurry up and “publish what it has at its fingertips.” [Law.com]

* UVA Law held its Softball Invitational this weekend. A Duke Law dude emailed us to say his school sucks at basketball, but it’s awesome at law school softball. Sweet accomplishment, brah. [Newsplex]

Bumpei Sugano of Penn Law

* A surefire way to make your mom proud of you is to file a funny amicus brief with the Supreme Court, get called out for it in the New York Times, and be lauded by us at Above the Law as having filed the “best amicus brief ever.” [Daily Beast]

* Cynthia Brim, a state judge who’s been declared legally insane, wants to return to the judicial bench she’s been suspended from. Hey, you could look at it this way: at least she’d be working for her $182K salary. [Chicago Tribune]

* Our readers will be thrilled to know that beginning this year, lawyers will become obsolete. Artificial intelligence will start taking over your jobs within the next six months or so. [Wired]

* Join the Fordham OUTLaws for a Transgender Law symposium, co-sponsored by Skadden and the LGBT Bar. One of the panelists, Erin Buzuvis, is an amazing professor from my school. [Fordham Law School]

* If you care at all about how well women and minority law students are represented on law reviews, then you’ll want to come to this important event. I’ll be there, and I hope to see you there, too! [Ms. JD]

* In case you were wondering, Penn Law successfully beat the crap out of Wharton (in terms of head to head win-loss record) during the 10th annual Wharton vs. Law Fight Night. [Wharton vs. Law: Fight Night]

* Meet Anthony Halmon, the second-year student at FIU Law who’s relying on his coolness to rock the vote for the SBA presidency. Check out his rap video, after the jump. [Daily Business Review (reg. req.)]

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* The NCAA’s president thinks Northwestern’s sports union will be the first case of its kind to be heard by the Supreme Court, and his brain hasn’t even been scrambled by concussions. [Bloomberg]

* “If I’d come up with it, I’d probably be proud of it.” If this Georgia lawyer had used the “my client is too handsome for rape” defense, perhaps there wouldn’t have been a conviction. [Daily Report (reg. req.)]

* A few weeks ago, we wrote about the best law schools for making money. Since then, the rankings were revised due to error. Where does your school stand now? We’ll chat about this today. [Forbes]

* “[L]awyers aren’t retiring or dying nearly fast enough for us to fill their spots.” Perhaps statements like this about the job market wouldn’t be so prevalent if U.S. News told pre-law applicants the truth. [NPR]

* Law students will call you out for your behavior, even if you’re a police officer This one is suing the NYPD for false arrest after questioning their food truck tactics. We’ll have more on this later. [New York Post]

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