Sports

Click the picture for the full story on Deadspin

From: [email protected]
Date: Thu, Sep 5, 2013 at 08:25 PM
Subject: I don’t see the sports law thing…
To: “AbovetheLaw Tips”

…coming tonight. On top of the first game of the season, this is a dead *$#*ing week for sports law stuff. More concussion news? Who gives a ****? I don’t. I wrote everything I’m gonna write about that crap last week. I realize you may not view my cri de coeur re: Abraham Lincoln stone genitals as the end-all-be-all on the concussion crisis, but I don’t curr. Concussion crisis? I swear I just used that formulation because it’s alliterative. Concussion crisis crab cake concubine. Christ, I’m sorry. You know I go long with these emails….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Slow News Week Plus Televised Football Equals Whatever This Is”

* Fine Print as “Surrealist Masterpiece.” Because sometimes you need legal analysis involving Foucault. [Concurring Opinions]

* Speaking of fine print, the story behind an attack ad in Virginia is all about fine print. Virginia AG Ken Cuccinelli is running an attack ad against Terry McAuliffe connecting him to the collapse of Global Crossing. The problem is the former Global Crossing workers in the ad thought they were talking to a documentary film crew about the company, not making an ad attacking McAuliffe. Should have read that waiver form more closely! [Mother Jones]

* JPMorgan Chase is dropping out of the student loan business. Must be getting too difficult to package likely defaults into some kind of billion-dollar derivative these days. [American Banker]

* A New York attorney candidly tells the world that dealing with his kids “is not my problem” because he has a long-suffering wife for that job. See conservatives, gay marriage hasn’t destroyed all the traditional families. [Dealbreaker]

* More analysis on the legality of intervention in Syria under international law. Welcome to the art of writing listicles, Lawfare! [Lawfare]

* A Q&A with Ignatius Grande of Hughes Hubbard & Reed on the importance of Twitter for clients and law firms. Intriguingly, Hughes Hubbard doesn’t have an active Twitter account. What gives? [Commercial Litigation Insider]

* The NFL’s concussion settlement wasn’t just about screwing over the former players, but about the NFL covering up its business practices. But who cares, KICKOFF TONIGHT Y’ALL! [Grantland]

* We’re not saying you should drop out of school, but if you do, try to make it like these people. Video embedded after the jump. [Bloomberg via YouTube]

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Non-Sequiturs: 09.05.13″

Back in 2010, Leicester Bryce Stovell, a D.C.-based lawyer, filed a pro se lawsuit against LeBron James claiming he was the star athlete’s father — and that he had the genetic material to prove it. As it turns out, the paternity test came back negative, but that didn’t stop Stovell from further alleging that he had been defamed when LeBron was quoted as saying that he “want[ed] to be a better father than [his] was.” The King’s lawyers from Squire Sanders argued that Stovell was simply delusional, and the case got bounced out of court.

You’d think that Stovell would’ve taken his ball and gone home, but earlier this spring, he returned to court to file additional defamation charges against his fantastical son for making statements about his father (i.e., anyone but Leicester Bryce Stovell) in a Sports Illustrated interview.

On Labor Day, a federal judge — the same one who originally came to the conclusion that Stovell wasn’t the father — took Stovell to task for his lacking lawyering skills…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Self-Proclaimed Daddy Of LeBron James Is Unsurprisingly Still Not The Father”

Labor Day weekend is behind us, so that means most of you have had your fantasy football drafts. I’ve run a completely different auction strategy this year, since last year in two ATL leagues I finished 6 – 7, and 4 -9 respectively, then had to buy trophies for the winners. Staci finished 3 – 10 though… so, I beat a girl, because I’m a big strong man who likes football.

In any event, sometimes ATL columunist Marc Edelman (8 – 5 last year, 1 – 1 against me), wrote an interesting piece on Forbes about whether or not playing fantasy football for money is illegal. Any illegality would be utterly unenforceable, of course. And most people play Fantasy Football for pride and trophies bought by under-performing editors with their own money. But still, it’s an interesting question if our overbearing police state claims authority over whether or not grown adults wager their private funds against their abilities to fake-own professional football players…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Is Fantasy Football For Money Illegal?”

* The NFL has reached a $765 million settlement with the over 4,500 retired concussion victims whose injuries paved the way for the league’s success. [Sports Illustrated]

* Dennis Rodman confidante Kim Jong-un had his ex-girlfriend executed on pornography charges. Kind of puts the whole “revenge porn” thing in perspective. [The Telegraph]

* A lawsuit against Curt Schilling, based on allegations that he deceived the state into giving his company $75 million, will go forward. Like most conservative Republicans, Schilling saw no problem with taking millions in handouts from the government so long as poor people don’t get $4.50 a day for food. [Comcast SportsNet]

* Judge Mark Bennett (N.D. Iowa) ripped the Department of Justice for creating massive drug sentencing disparities because the DOJ went years without a policy for when prosecutors should double the prison time for repeat offenders. In Northern Iowa, that’s a LOT of meth heads in prison. [Des Moines Register]

* Attorneys for the Governor of Pennsylvania equate gay marriage to letting 12-year-olds marry. Just because a demographic calls everything “gay” doesn’t make them gay. [ABA Journal]

* Study shows academics use lots of adjectives and adverbs. This is really a very terrific and awesome study. [TaxProf Blog]

* Polygraphs are inadmissible, but remember invisible jets are A-OK. [Texts from Superheroes]

* REMINDER: OK NYU, Columbia, Fordham, Cardozo, and NYLS students! It’s time to send nominations to us for where you want us to go on the Great Above the Law/Kaplan Bar Review Bar Crawl. Send bar nominations to [email protected], subject: “Bar Crawl.” See you on September 18th! [Above the Law]

To pass the time while commuting, I like to listen to podcasts. If ATL had a podcast I would add that to my listening rotation (especially if Lat is able to pull in sitting judges to guest host or as interview subjects). But this is not a column about podcasts. Though the idea for this contest came from a podcast I was listening to, the B.S. Report with Bill Simmons. The host was interviewing a former ESPN colleague, and they were discussing how certain statistics in baseball are misleading.

An example? Wins for pitchers. Apparently there is a movement to abolish that statistic. Why? Because a pitcher can pitch a terrible game, and still come away with the win, assuming his lineup bails him out. Conversely, a pitcher can pitch a beautiful game, and lose just because his hitters decide to approach their at-bats like the pudgy partner from bankruptcy at the annual intra-firm softball game. To prove the limited utility of using wins as a proxy for determining who is the best pitcher, consider the following. By nearly all accounts, Clayton Kershaw of the L.A. Dodgers is the single most dominant pitcher in baseball today. Unsurprisingly, he is reportedly in line for the richest (around $30 million a year or so) contract extension for a pitcher — ever. But he has fewer wins this season (so far) than Bartolo Colon, a 40-year-old journeyman pitcher (on his sixth team, and nearly a decade removed from his last All-Star game appearance), who is making non-equity service partner money ($3 million) by baseball standards. Wins simply do not tell the whole story.

Biglaw has its share of statistical shortcomings….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Biglaw’s Statistical Shortcomings”

A brief tangent. I was shocked and appalled to find out that I wasn’t asked my thoughts about being no-offered by your summer firm. As, perhaps, the only ATL writer who found himself in such a situation, I thought my insights would be particularly valuable. Instead of cobbling together that fake-as-hell gchat (“I think that is a fine point, sir. As I cogitate on this question, allow me to interject a brief few words in support of the fair maiden whose plight we now consider.”), they could have asked me: straight up, what did you do when Baker & McKenzie no-offered you?

Excellent question, Lat. I let a single teardrop roll down my cheek like I was Denzel in Glory. Then I picked myself up, slapped my dog in the face and did, like, 16,000 biceps curls. I determined that I wasn’t going to let some dumb dumb law firm dictate my life’s trajectory. I was going to be a huge success, someday reaching upwards of two dozen people as a writer for the Internet’s preeminent website for law firm bonuses and women’s shoes. I was also not going to let Baker’s decision get in the way of my life’s dream to one day work at a terrible office filled with half-wit lunatics who either don’t know I’m a lawyer or don’t care. To quote Matthew Wilder, I decided that no law firm gonna break-a my stride, nobody’s gonna slow me down. Oh no. I’ve got to keep on moving!

I also considered taking a huge dump outside Baker’s offices.

Let’s talk sports…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Getting No-Offered And Talking Sports”

Chief Judge Alex Kozinski

* A chat with Chief Judge Alex Kozinski. Kozinski is the only interviewee who can talk about political oppression and reserve the real shock and horror for jury verdicts. [Concurring Opinions]

* On a serious note, a summer intern at Bank of America has died after pulling three all-nighters. Biglaw reminds associates that the lesson here is to get your work done faster. [Gawker via Instapundit]

* LeBron James thinks he’s actually above the law. What’s more despicable? Using celebrity to ruin everyone else’s commute so you can watch a concert or being part of the Heat? [Grantland]

* Case Western Reserve is changing its legal curriculum out of desperation an effort to revolutionize law school. [Cleveland Plain-Dealer]

* Women’s magazines make a ton of demoralizing helpful promises. What if lawyers inserted themselves into the editorial process? [The Tangential]

* A Chicago ER doctor is facing a lawsuit over taking and posting pictures of a woman — apparently this “actress, model, and ex-professional tennis player” — who’d had too much to drink. Dr. Carter has really gone downhill. [IT-Lex]

* RIP Groklaw, 2003-2013. The stalwart blog has decided to shut down over concerns about government surveillance. [Groklaw]

* An attorney in Texas decided to take to Craigslist to rip another lawyer advertising a $10/hour paralegal job. Screenshots of the original and the response after the jump… [Craigslist]

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Non-Sequiturs: 08.20.13″

* Whitey Bulger was convicted on 31 of the 32 counts he faced. [NBC News]

* Eric Holder announced that the federal government will stop charging certain drug offenders with crimes that carry draconian mandatory minimum sentences. Apparently, he just now realized the prison system is riddled with non-violent offenders. The last horses are finally crossing the finish line, folks! [Washington Post]

* Johnny Manziel has hired counsel for his upcoming NCAA probe. Surprise, surprise, it’s Champ Kind from Anchorman. [Jim Darnell]

* As a follow-up, the lawyer who filed suit against his ex-wife for bad mothering is facing ethics charges in an unrelated matter where he wrote a will giving his own kids 40 percent of his client’s estate. It take something special to try and slip that one past the goalie. [ABA Journal]

* The former escort behind the nom de plume Belle de Jour, whose exploits gave rise to a TV show, is being sued for defamation by an old boyfriend who claims her sexploits are a lie. If you can’t trust a detailed diary of sexual experiences, what can you trust? [Jezebel]

* Here are the top energy law priorities facing Congress after they return from summer recess. Repealing Obamacare, Congress’s only priority, is not an energy policy. [Breaking Energy]

* For IP attorney LOLZ, here’s a fun Tumblr. [IP Attorney]

* A law student at Wisconsin has developed a system that allows easy stalking of someone’s smartphone. While this makes him sound like a jerk, his intention is to prove how unacceptable this lack of privacy really is. It’s not stalking if it’s proving a point! [Ars Technica]

* The Sixth Circuit thinks the emergency manager law in Michigan may violate the state’s constitution. This could throw the whole Detroit bankruptcy into doubt. There’s a lot of talk about how this could help city pensioners, but let’s focus on the victims it could cause — what would happen to Jones Day’s billings? [Constitutional Law Prof Blog]

Readers of Above the Law are a classy bunch. Sure, you enjoy a good sex scandal every now and then — who doesn’t? But you also enjoy more high-minded fare, ranging from Supreme Court analysis to career advice to discussion of the history of legal education.

Your highbrow tastes manifested themselves in our recent summer associate event contest. Rejecting pop culture icons and fun-sounding sporting events, you flocked to the polls to vote for a classic….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “ATL Summer Associate Event Contest (2013): The Winner!”

Page 8 of 361...456789101112...36