Standard & Poor’s

* Illinois is suing Standard & Poor’s, accusing the financial services company of misleading investors and putting the country in the poorhouse thanks to its high ratings for mortgage-backed investments. [Washington Post]

* CHECK YOU LATERALS: William Burck, who served in the White House counsel’s office under President Bush, is leaving Weil to co-manage the Washington, D.C. office of Quinn Emanuel. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]

* Groupon: now ethical for advertising legal services in New York thanks to this recent opinion from the New York Bar Association Committee on Ethics. Will Biglaw start catering to deal hunters? Prediction: hell no. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Get off my lawn, you damn kids! A lawyer from Long Island was arrested after firing a warning shot into the air and holding a neighborhood teen at gunpoint following several rounds of “ding dong ditch.” [CBS New York]

* A woman is suing Lindsay Lohan, claiming that LiLo hit her with her Maserati. She’s suffered from disabling personal injuries, pain, anguish, and a lack of settlement money. [Daily Mail]

* After an alleged freaky sex-and-drugs party, all Angelica Marie Cecora wants from Oscar de la Hoya is $5M and an apology. Is that really too much to ask? [New York Daily News]

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