Strippers

Natalee Holloway

* What’s funnier here? The fact that Stephen Colbert is running for “president of the United States of South Carolina,” or the fact that he’s already beating Jon Huntsman in the polls? [Washington Post]

* Notorious New Jersey defense attorney Paul Bergrin’s second racketeering trial has been postponed and may be delayed indefinitely, but he’s such a pimp that he doesn’t even care. [The Record]

* According to a new study, 80 percent of law students surveyed said they would attend law school again if they could start over. Hey, any way to escape a dead-end job market. [National Law Journal]

* Unfortunately, not everyone impaneled for jury duty gets to have the Pauly Shore experience. Some people just get fired — even law firm receptionists. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]

* The day after Joran van der Sloot pleaded guilty to another girl’s murder, a judge declared Natalee Holloway was legally dead. Sometimes coincidence has great timing. [New York Daily News]

* Can you put a “White Only” sign outside of your apartment complex’s public pool? Nope, still illegal. That’s an antique that you might want to consider leaving up in the attic. [ABC News]

* Got fired because you love prostitutes and strippers? Don’t sue over your “hurt feelings,” because apparently all of the bros in the oil and gas industry love them, too. [The Snitch / SF Weekly]

* How many of these suggested New Year’s resolutions should the members of the Supreme Court consider following? Eight out of ten resolutions wouldn’t be too shabby. [Huffington Post]

* Like a virgin, detained for the very first time: thanks to this court order, Egypt will be forced to come out of the dark ages and ban virginity tests for female detainees and military prisoners. [CNN]

* Oh, hell no. Judge Jed Rakoff issued an order 78 seconds after the Second Circuit decided to delay the SEC’s Citigroup case. His pimp hand is strong (which is impressive!). [WSJ Law Blog]

* As an attorney, you should know that the law stops for no one, not even Santa Claus. Major deals in Asian markets kept many Biglawyers working hard this holiday season. [Am Law Daily]

* Social media subpoena fail: “Haha. Boston PD submitted to Twitter for my information. Lololol? For what? Posting info pulled from public domains? #comeatmebro” [Boston Herald]

* 2011 didn’t bring us a white Christmas, but New Yorkers are still pissed about the Great Blizzard of 2010. The trapped A-train passengers have finally brought suit against the MTA. [New York Post]

* A former stripper is suing a police officer for allegedly stealing money from her purse. This girl fit $714 in dollar bills in a small, Coach bag? That’s actually a real accomplishment. [ABC News]

* It’s been seven hours and fifteen sixteen days, since you took your love away. Nothing compares to a Vegas wedding, because Sinead O’Connor’s marriage is already over. [Los Angeles Times]

Ya ni panimayou?

* Time to separate the men from the boys (but don’t tell Sandusky). An accuser has hired Jeff Anderson of clergy sex abuse fame, and he wants damages. [Wall Street Journal]

* RajRaj is trying to stay out of jail. He thinks he’s got a shot at getting his Galleon convictions vacated, but he’s probably got a better shot at curing diabetes. [New York Law Journal]

* And speaking of Galleon, lawyers, take note: “you don’t get a pass.” Ex-Ropes & Gray attorney Brien Santarlas was sentenced to six months in jail yesterday. [Bloomberg]

* Emory Law has invented a new way to throw loan money in the garbage. At the bargain basement price of $45K, how could you resist? [National Law Journal]

* Twenty people have been charged with luring illegal, eastern European beauties to work in New York strip clubs. Prepare for some new job listings from the NYU Law career services office. [CNN]


New course offering at Miami area law schools.

Many of you will be outraged by this story, and many more of you will pretend to be outraged by this story if it comes up in front of your wife or girlfriend. And the story is outrageous. It’s sexist and clearly unethical.

But… doesn’t hiring strippers to pose as paralegals and then sending them into jail to “service” your defendants / clients sound like the most natural business strategy in the world? Supply, meet some serious demand.

Hey, rich corporate clients get this treatment all the time. I don’t just mean that figuratively. I’m sure that there have been lawyers who literally brought their clients to a strip club after they closed the deal on their representation. We all know that firms put the prettiest secretaries on the floors clients see, while the floors with associates who share offices are staffed by hagravens. T&A has been used to secure clients probably since we moved out of the state of nature.

Lawyers in the great city of Miami are just taking this natural service and extending to to criminal defendants. What’s so wrong with that?

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Arguably The Best Use Of Sexism And Unethical Behavior Ever”

* We suspected as much: it appears that the “poop tattoo” story is, er, “full of crap.” [The Smoking Gun]

* What’s the first Michael Jackson lyric that Conrad Murray will hear in jail from his fellow prisoners? My vote: “I want to love you, pretty young thing.” [Hollywood Reporter]

* Herman Cain wants the media to get off his d*ck about his alleged extramarital affairs. He’s got plenty of other women who he’s “never acted inappropriately with” for that. [Volokh Conspiracy]

* Anyone can be a law student stripper if they try hard enough, but it takes a special kind of gal to pose as a paralegal and strip for prisoners. [Riptide 2.0 / Miami New Times]

* Corporate socialism and you: a business primer for New York, courtesy of David Cay Johnston. [Reuters]

* The “first ever” original jurisdiction standings? An interesting read if you’re a con law nerd. [Odd Clauses Watch]

* After bopping her on the head with a hatchet, you can be damn sure that your neighbor is never going to let you borrow a cup of sugar again. [Legal Juice]

You have to love it when law students are openly telling New York Magazine that they are stripping on the side.

It’s even better when it’s a student at one of the best law schools in the nation. Or did the magazine just successfully troll its own readers?

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “‘Students Employed As Strippers’ Should Be Part Of A Law School’s Ranking”

Alas, Vince Young couldn't make this happen.

* Ira Schacter’s lawyer on his client’s propensity to give out rings worth more than $200K: “He’s just a generous guy.” No, he’s just a Biglaw partner. [The Careerist]

* From Russia Israel with Love: Emory Law student Ilan Grapel has been released from Egypt and will be arriving back in the U.S. today. Welcome home! [New York Times]

* A guy was convicted of selling black market kidneys? I thought that only happened in urban legends, but apparently it happens in good old Jersey. [Bloomberg]

* Next time you want to hold porn auditions at your house, make sure you have the girls sign all of the necessary release forms before you drug and assault them. [Miami Herald]

* How dare you prevent Vince Young from making it rain and then sue him over it! When a man asks you to give him $8,000 in one dollar bills at a strip club, you do it. [New York Post]

In need of legal representation.

* People seriously need to stop complaining about alternative careers for attorneys. Having a JD can lead to a fulfilling career outside of the law, assuming you can make partner at Cravath first. [DealBook / New York Times]

* Due to a decline in filing fees on the killing of the American dream, the Florida court system had to take out a $45.6M loan. It’s kind of like they have their own unpayable mortgage now. Gotta love karma. [Miami Herald]

* The ABA Journal really wants to know how hard it is for recent law school graduates to find a job. Maybe if we flood them with responses, the ABA will give a sh*t. Ugh, I’m way too optimistic. [ABA Journal]

* If you’re willing to move to Iowa, here’s a niche practice alert for you: stripper law. Who thought that you could find work in limiting boob exposure? And why would you want to? [Des Moines Register]

* We all know Michael Jackson was bad, but was he bad enough to drink his propofol straight up? Conrad Murray’s defense team may have changed its tune. [CNN]

* Did a judge seriously think he could arraign someone with close ties to the Wu? He’s lucky True Master didn’t let the killa bees out on his ass. [DNAinfo]

* You don’t have the right to get half naked in an airport to protest the TSA’s policies. Aaron Tobey’s lawsuit has been stripped of its Fourth Amendment claims following a dismissal. [Washington Post]

* Paul Ceglia has to give Facebook every email he’s exchanged since 2003. If Ceglia’s like most men, lawyers at Gibson Dunn will get an interesting peek at his private life. [Wall Street Journal]

* An HIV/AIDS group has been charged with improperly spending federal funds. They were supposed to open a job training center. They allegedly opened a strip club. Problem? [Washington Examiner]

* Pit bulls are cute until they bite your face off (but they do get a bad rap because of bad owners). This ADA lawsuit may help overturn residential dog breed restrictions in Colorado. [ABA Journal]

* In a case of a playboy getting hustled, a man is suing over a $28,109.60 bar tab charged on his credit card at the Hustler Club. Talk about going tit for tat. [New York Post]

We think a $5 fee presents no greater burden on nude dancing. . . . The fee is not a tax on unpopular speech but a restriction on combining nude dancing, which unquestionably has secondary effects, with the aggravating influence of alcohol consumption.

Texas Supreme Court Justice Nathan L. Hecht, writing for the majority and upholding the state’s “pole tax” in Combs v. Texas Entertainment Association. The ruling overturns a prior decision that found the fee unconstitutional on First Amendment grounds because it singled out protected expression in nude dancing.

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