Subway Advertisements

Welcome to Above the Law’s newest feature, Fun With Fine Print. This occasional column will chronicle especially clever or awful examples of legalese, fine print, disclaimers, disclosures, and the like. Our readers who spend so much time toiling over contractual language, drafting it beforehand or litigating it after the fact, will hopefully appreciate — and contribute to — this feature.

We’ll start things off with an example of infamous fine print. Earlier this year, Subway got torpedoed over its regrettable response to a customer complaint. After Australian teenager Matt Corby complained that his “footlong” Subway sub was a mere eleven inches, Subway invoked the following fine print: “With regards to the size of the bread and calling it a footlong, ‘SUBWAY FOOTLONG’ is a registered trademark as a descriptive name for the sub sold in Subway® Restaurants and not intended to be a measurement of length.” Personally speaking, I think eleven inches is more than enough — but based on the uproar and litigation, maybe I’m in the minority.

Now let’s look at legalese worth celebrating, for its cleverness and its clarity. It also comes from a fast-food provider….

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When it comes to year-end bonuses, Cravath traditionally leads, and everyone else follows. But when it comes to spring bonuses, which we’ve all been eagerly anticipating, the usual first mover is Sullivan & Cromwell.

So why are we now hearing word of spring bonuses over at 825 Eighth Avenue? What the heck is going on?

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This ad campaign sucks!

Back in October, we told our readers about one Boston-area law school’s exciting new advertising campaign. These days, the best way to promote your law school is by hanging posters in city subway stations that proclaim the strength of the nonexistent job market for law school graduates.

Now, just a few months later, the law school’s students have worked themselves into a tizzy over their embarrassment. After throwing numerous hissy fits, the students have finally gained some ground with the administration. Let’s find out what’s going on at New England Law | Boston….

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On Friday, we told you about the administrator at New England Law who embezzled over $170,000.

To be honest, that was the first time I’d heard of New England Law School, and I thought I knew all of the ABA-accredited law schools. But evidently, I haven’t taken the “T” (the Boston subway system) in quite awhile. Apparently, regular T passengers know of New England Law.

Though if you are the kind of person who believes subway ads, you might have a totally different impression of New England Law than anybody else….

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