Suffolk University Law School

In honor of the Simpsons marathon, let’s introduce each of these with a Simpsons quote.

* Dr. Hibbert: And hillbillies want to be called “Sons of the Soil,” but it ain’t gonna happen. — BofA wants that $1.3 billion verdict tossed as “unreasonable.” [Law360]

* Superintendent Chalmers: Oh, I have had it, I have had it with this school, Skinner! The low test scores, class after class of ugly, ugly children! — Suffolk University fired its president just days before school began. I’d like to think it was over their subway ads. In any event, the interim president seems to get the problem: “‘I don’t think there’s growth there,’ he said, referring to [law school] enrollment.” [Boston Globe]

* Homer: Barney’s movie had heart, but “Football in the Groin” had a football in the groin — College football kicked off last night (or Wednesday if we cared about Georgia State), so check in with the lawyer for the USC player who pretended he injured himself saving his nephew’s life. [Deadspin]

* Lionel Hutz: There’s the truth and… the truth! — Bracewell & Giuliani partner, Glenn A. Ballard Jr., got benchslapped in Texas for “an affront to this court, to the other parties and to judicial integrity.” Everything’s bigger in Texas. [Houston Chronicle]

* Chief Wiggum: You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say blah blah blah blah blah blah. — After Philip Seymour Hoffman’s overdose, the police actually arrested a jazz musician. He got no jail time after he hired a new lawyer, Alex Spiro, who went after the cops for taking advantage of his client. [NY Daily News]

* Jimbo: You let me down, man. Now I don’t believe in nothing no more. I’m going to law school. — Professor Campos wonders if American University law school will sue students who drop out or transfer? [Lawyers, Guns & Money]

So I’m just sitting around with Elie when my phone informs me that I’ve been denounced by the Boston Bar Association. Apparently, they took offense to my post from a couple weeks ago about the new ad campaign by Suffolk Law. The headline was: This Law School Is Looking For The Dumbest Possible Students. Catchy right?

And I thought accurate because the ad tries to sell Suffolk Law on the grounds that it produced more Massachusetts state judges than Yale, Harvard, and Columbia. Which is such a no-brainer that anyone falling for it would have to be equally lacking.

Now the Boston Bar is cross with me. But their critique rests on such a profound misunderstanding of my point that I have to wonder if there’s just something in the dirty water up there…

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When law schools face double-digit declines in admissions, it’s time for a slick ad campaign to bring in more students. When traditionally lower-ranked law schools face double-digit declines in admissions, it’s time for a slick ad campaign to bring in low-hanging mouthbreathers to subsidize the rest of the school.

Such is the case for one school that plastered a new series of posters around town hoping to draw in new students to fill their ranks.

A new ad that requires the prospective student to suffer a severe lack of reading comprehension and critical thinking….

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Did you know that approximately one-fourth of every children’s song or story somehow involves ducks? It feels like it’s true! For reasons that make neither commercial nor evolutionary sense, the cuteness of ducklings is ingrained from birth. So I feel like it takes a certain special kind of jackass to run over ducks with your car.

Then again, it takes a special kind of person to go to Harvard College and yet end up at Suffolk Law…

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This is the first in a new series of ATL infographics — visual representations of our own proprietary data, relevant third-party data, “anecdata,” or just plain jokes.

In honor of Shark Week, we take a marine life-themed look at which law schools’ graduates are the big fish of Biglaw…
 
 

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Law schools, properly understood, ought to be viewed as regional vocational schools. You will have to pass the bar exam for the state in which you want to practice, and a law school in that state, in theory at least, is more likely to prepare you for the specific content on the state bar. Typically, the majority of alumni don’t stray too far, so the strongest network will be local, for local jobs. It’s to your advantage to go to school where you want to practice, sometimes even more so than going to a higher-ranked school.

With this in mind, last week we looked at our ATL Insider Survey results pertaining to New York City-area law schools. We examined how current law students rate their schools in terms of academics, career counseling, financial aid advising, practical/clinical training, and social life.

Today we turn to Boston. The results of our survey might surprise you….

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Oh night students, better known to law school deans as “amazing fountains of money.” The schools milk them for four years of tuition to do two years of work. But a lot of regular students resent night students because they don’t have to take a full course load, yet their grades are counted alongside day students when it comes to class rank.

(Note: this isn’t as much of a problem for schools that can get Biglaw jobs for students outside the top 10 percent.)

At one school, regular day students aren’t just competing with night students for class rank and jobs. They’re also competing with night students over the very scheduling of commencement ceremonies.

Competing, and losing….

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Earlier this week, we brought our readers news of the latest Princeton Review law school rankings for Best Career Prospects. Basing a “career prospects” ranking on surveys of current students, students who have yet to embark upon their careers, could be questioned methodologically — but you ate that s**t up like Halloween candy, so let’s give you more.

Today, we’ll take a closer look at the new rankings in categories that current law students actually know something about: the law schools that are the toughest to get into, and the law schools with the most competitive students. While one of these rankings lists is consistent with conventional wisdom, the other might surprise you.

MOAR RANKINGS, after the jump….

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As Staci observed earlier this week, if law students took data into account, we’d be living in a different world. Today, in the interest of moving a bit closer to that sunnier, happier planet, we launch the latest component of our Career Center: The ATL Law School Directory.

There’s been no small amount of discussion around here regarding the disconnect between the career and salary expectations of incoming law students and the majority of their post-graduation realities. Yet we are continually reminded that most 0L “research” consists of blind adherence to a single, arguably dubious data point, and nothing else.

However, there is reason to believe that some would-be law students are doing their due diligence and turning into won’t-be law students, but still, there continue to be of a hell of a lot of applicants at all levels, from “prestige whores” to “low hanging fruit.” Clearly, while we’ve no agenda aimed at discouraging folks from applying to law school per se, we do oppose uninformed and under-researched decisions to do so. The Law School Directory is an indispensable resource for aspiring law students willing to do their homework. (Which, based on some strong anecdotal evidence, we understand is a characteristic of successful actual law students.)

The ATL Law School Directory is to 0L-relevant data and information what the Ronco Veg-O-Matic is to vegetables (It Slices! It Dices!). You can sort law schools by a wide array of analyzing variables: employment outcomes, admissions criteria, top law firm employers, and much more, including the the results of our ongoing ATL Insider Survey, where current students and alumni rate the major aspects of the law school experience, from academics to social life.

So which are the best schools for Biglaw placement? Public interest placement? Clinical training? The Directory has the answers. After the jump, check out a sampling of our ratings tables, including the list of schools which are tops at losing track of their own alumni….

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There is sad news this weekend from Boston. A law student at Suffolk University Law School apparently committed suicide on Friday.

The student, Willie Carlton Sellers, was pursuing a JD/MBA at Suffolk. He jumped to his death from a university building.

A message from Suffolk University president James McCarthy informed the Suffolk community on Friday night. This is the second apparent suicide this year on Suffolk’s campus….

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