Television

If you are missing out on the Simpsons marathon, here's a taste.

* They’re making The Devil’s Advocate into a TV show. That is all. [io9] * Lingerie brand is suing its former lawyer for screwing up its patent filing. What a boob. [NY Post] * Chris Kluwe and the Minnesota Vikings have reached a settlement to avoid potential embarrassment. Now if only they could reach settlement with the Packers for the same reason. [NBC Sports] * The world of raising hogs meets the Eighth Circuit. The fifth “H” stands for what the hell? [The Legal Geeks] * Shares in Taser have gone up 25 percent since Michael Brown’s shooting. Oh, remember Taser? The company that makes a product that stops fleeing suspects without executing them? Looks like the market is expecting a sea change in how police do business. [Lawyers, Guns & Money] * Jesus. A teenager who waited in jail for three years pending trial died in solitary confinement at Rikers Island when his heart exploded. A new lawsuit alleges that the prison just ignored the condition. So much for innocent until proven guilty. [Gawker] * A new study undermines the myth that the gender imbalance in tenure is not related to productivity. But hey, who cares, tenure is passé according to Laurence Tribe. [Inside Higher Ed h/t TaxLaw Prof] * When times are tough, lawyers are denying their law degrees in job applications. No matter how hard you pretend, your debt isn’t going away. [Law and More]

* Jury writes judge a note asking for a “big bottle of wine.” It’s gonna be a long night. [Southern District of Florida Blog] * As it turns out, some Redditors are morons who don’t understand law. Glad we cleared that up. [The Concourse] * There’s a Kickstarter for an Ally McBeal podcast. If you love talking about unisex bathrooms, here’s a golden opportunity. [Kickstarter] * Attention law students: there’s a $500 prize in it if you can craft a winning blog post. [The Expert Institute] * Terrible, terrible advertising. [Copyranter] * A Simpson Thacher associate is planning to row across the Atlantic to support cancer research. [Remacae] * These teacher tenure suits are so stupid and completely miss the real reason public schools have trouble. And the lead plaintiff inadvertently confessed just how off the mark he is. [Washington Post] * AMC released the teaser for Better Call Saul. After the jump… [via Time Magazine]

This attorney really seems to be enjoying his new-found reality TV fame.

It's not every day that an ADA is involved in her own sex scandal.

* Have you all called the Breaking Bad law firm number yet? Because it works, so go for it! [Legal Cheek] * How to make airlines more profitable: make everyone sit on bicycle seats! [Lowering the Bar] * Ilya Somin explains why the D.C. Circuit’s interpretation in Halbig isn’t absurd. And it’s not absurd. It just reflects the hilariously cynical conservative opposition to giving their own citizens tax breaks. [The Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post] * Ohio State fired its band director amid sexual harassment allegations. To fire a guy, Ohio State must have dotted every “i” in this investigation. [USA Today] * Speaking of sexual harassment, the Navy’s Blue Angels are the subject of a sexual harassment suit. And somehow it involves a blue and gold penis seen from space. [Slate] * The Chevron battle over Ecuador continues. Turns out the star witness Chevron paid upwards of $1 million to testify took 50 days of prep to finally get his ever-shifting story straight. [Huffington Post] * There’s a new book out called Kate’s Escape from the Billable Hour (affiliate link). We haven’t read it, but apparently this tale of “a burnt-out, second-year attorney working in the dysfunctional world of Big Law” mentions ATL. So they definitely did their research. [Amazon] * Watch a drunk guy give cops a lesson in Con Law. Video after the jump…. [Barstool Sports]

NBC launches a sitcom about a woman leaving Biglaw for solo practice.

What are some of the major differences between the U.S. and Canadian legal professions?

Will you be tuning in to watch more of her dirty laundry get aired on national TV?

Court orders you to stop stealing television.

* This Biglaw firm is getting into the imaginary money business by bidding on $18M of Bitcoins seized in the Silk Road raid. Maybe they’ll accept this new “currency” as payment. [Am Law Daily]

* Boston bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev wants his trial moved to New York or D.C. for an unbiased jury. Moving it to cities where terrorist attacks have occurred is a great idea! [Bloomberg]

* Here’s a perfect headline for a lovely Friday when we imagine people will be able to get in some quality day drinking: “Market Struggles to Absorb Record Law School Class of ’13.” [National Law Journal]

* Part of George Zimmerman’s defamation lawsuit against NBC was dismissed because his attorneys waited too long to ask the network for a retraction. Time to paint a picture about it, Georgie. [Fox News]

* Can you sue the dude who banged your wife for ruining your marriage? It sucks for cuckolded husbands, but you can’t in most states, including West Virginia, where family trees grow in a circle. [WSJ Law Blog]

How would Stephen Colbert interpret the Equal Protection Clause?

* Law school kills brain cells. [TaxProf Blog] * Dean Stephen C. Ferruolo takes on Justice Scalia’s recent critique of legal education. Oh, it’s on now. [Los Angeles Daily Journal] * A look inside a mock law school admissions meeting. It’s not a Texas admissions meeting, so you’re still not going to learn the relative merits of a 128 LSAT. [Most Strongly Supported] * Newsmax has a new cable network and it’s bringing on Professor Alan Dershowitz to offer “practical legal advice to ordinary Americans.” Hopefully he’ll be able to walk us through the legal points of Newsmax’s usual coverage of how the Black Panthers ordered Hillary to let Benghazi happen. [Digital Journal] * PRIDE cometh before the court. [Likelihood of Confusion] * A fourth case has been reopened in light of CPI’s expose of judges hearing cases despite financial conflicts. [Center for Public Integrity] * Lip-sync battle starring 3L Ty Wood and Professors George Bach, Alex Ritchie and Kevin Tu. Complete with cheesy effects! [UNM School of Law]

* Opening fire because a fast food place screwed up your burger order would be crazy. If they did it a second time? Well… [Lowering the Bar] * McCutcheon at work in North Carolina. Yay free speech! [Constitutional Accountability Center] * Texas prosecutor compares NAACP member to white supremacist. Because those are totally the same thing. [Houston Chronicle] * In case you’ve ever wondered who’d win a fight between DMX and Justice Frankfurter, here’s your answer. [Slate] * Having more fun with gun nuts. [Lawyers, Guns & Money] * We’ve discussed trial by combat’s past before, but is it still a real thing? Video below, including shout-outs to Professor Adam Winkler. [The Young Turks]

Reality TV knows a star when it sees one and a Playboy model with a law degree from a top law school is a rare combination.

In most people's experience, being a lawyer REPELS potential mates, but...

* A DLA Piper partner was cleared by the firm in connection with a string of sexist emails exchanged with a client because real lads don’t get in trouble for such trifling behavior. We’ll have more on this later. [Am Law Daily]

* Patton Boggs partners started voting on the firm’s merger with Squire Sanders yesterday. Apparently there’s at least one partner who will not be allowed to join the new firm because of prior conduct. Sucks to be you, guy. [Reuters]

* “It’s the best way to prepare for a whole variety of things.” Right now is one of the best times to go to law school, say California law school deans who really need to get asses in empty seats. [Daily Transcript]

* ““We are a better people than what these laws represent.” Pennsylvania’s ban on gay marriage was struck down yesterday, making it the 14th victory in a row for the marriage equality movement. [Bloomberg]

* Showtime just bought a law firm comedy about “four smartass, workaholic associates” in Biglaw trying to make partner and avoid being murdered by the office serial killer at the same time. Uh, yeah. [Deadline]

Who is the man who intends to starve himself on the steps of America’s highest court?

* When people tell you that you can do anything with a law degree, they’re wrong. Sounds like… everything Elie writes. [Slate] * Student debt is dragging down the economy. Is today “every news outlet catches up with Elie Day”? [New York Times] * Everyone’s talking about the law student turned prostitute. What about the law professor who was a gigolo? [The Nota Bene] * Baker Hostetler lawyer leaving the law to start a gym. With any luck he’ll have a championship dodgeball team in no time. [Crain's Cleveland Business] * Just a reminder, there isn’t a “telling a university everything you’ve done for an oral history” privilege. [BBC] * An argument for Republicans to get serious about loosening the reins on technological innovation like the Republican Party of old. But that might require saying no to some billionaire donor, so that’s off the table. [The American Conservative] * Professor Will Baude pointed us to a fun new law professor blog from Professor Richard Re, soon to be of UCLA Law, with an even more fun title. Here he compares Justice Sotomayor’s dissent in Schuette to Quidditch. [Re's Judicata] * A new show about law school. It’s supposedly about criminal law, but the trailer looks more like a professional responsibility fact pattern. [YouTube]

The show about nothing has legal connections to everything.