* Governor Chris Christie was worried America didn’t realize he has no respect for his constituents and is a complete fake, so he’s publicly rooting for the Dallas Cowboys over any of the three teams real New Jersey residents root for. He’s also possibly violating ethics rules. [The Legal Blitz / ATL Redline]
* Screech is going to trial. [Associated Press / Yahoo! News]
* New dean at USC. Who is it? [USC Gould School of Law]
* As the Supreme Court stares down the barrel of some highly political cases, will Chief Justice Roberts live up to his promise of non-partisanship? [Chicago Sun-Times]
* The GOP is very, very against using the popular vote to elect a president which they characterize as an effort to “steal the presidency.” Seriously. [Concurring Opinions]
* In all the excitement of being back yesterday, I’d forgotten to note that TV’s Screech was arrested for allegedly stabbing a guy in Wisconsin. Mr. Belding is reportedly pissed. [ABC News]
* United Airlines is suing a 22-year-old for pointing out that they routinely rip-off passengers. Sounds… well, a lot like something United Airlines would do. [WGN]
* Boston law schools lose over a third of their enrollment. Except Harvard. Harvard’s doing just fine. [TaxProf Blog]
* President adopts a werewolf. There’s one important reason you haven’t seen this on Fox News yet. [Lowering the Bar]
* Want to test yourself with a Con Law final exam about Ebola? [Dorf on Law]
Biglaw bonuses this year were insane. In an industry that usually plays “follow the leader” when it comes to associate bonuses, this year felt more like a poker tournament.For a full recap of the 2014 bonus season, fill out this brief form and receive ATL’s Biglaw Bonus Poker infographic.
* The Hardcore Pawn guys talk about what they look for in lawyers. If we’re good enough they’ll give us $20 for our services, but honestly that’s the best they can do. [Forbes]
* 10 Things People Don’t Understand About ‘Serial’ Unless You’re a Criminal Attorney. What I don’t understand is why we’re still talking about this show a week later. [Huffington Post]
* Have you been waiting for a Dynamite Hack’s Boyz N the Hood to be reimagined as a song about law professors? Then I present Profs in the School. [Lawprofblawg]
* Are law students worse students than they used to be? At least worse than they were when professors used to walk uphill both ways in the snow. [PrawfsBlawg]
* 2013 job results. For all the schools. [Associate’s Mind]
* Florida Judge Cynthia Imperato was “devastated” after a jury found her guilty of DUI and reckless driving charges, but we imagine the judge may be more devastated by the fact that she’s a sitting judge who’s been sentenced to 20 days of house arrest. [Florida Sun Sentinel]
* David Schwimmer, best known for his role as Ross on Friends, has been cast as lawyer Robert Kardashian in an O.J. Simpson true crime television miniseries. He surely knows it’ll take a lot of “unagi” to play the role just right. [Rolling Stone]
* If you have to debt finance your J.D., you’re going to in for a rude awakening when you graduate and the loans start coming due. FYI, “lot[s] of graduates [are] buried in private student loan debt with not enough income to repay it.” [Forbes]
* The parents of James Holmes, who’s better known as the alleged shooter in the Aurora movie theater massacre, have begged for him to be spared the death penalty ahead of his trial, but prosecutors say that in this case, “justice is death.” [Denver Post]
* When it comes to Russia, “[a] lot of firms are thinking about pulling out.” That’s what she would’ve said if she were a managing partner. Biglaw firms that have been rocked by the ruble’s ruin are telling lawyers to leave before they’re laid off. [Am Law Daily]
* Binder & Binder, the National Social Security Disability Advocates® whose late-night TV commercials you’ve grown to love, has filed for bankruptcy. The firm’s headcount will likely drop by more than half because of this. Yikes! [WSJ Law Blog]
Are you the Snooki of document review?
Will Teresa Giudice have to flip a table to get justice?
* “[I]t’s hard to find anybody as handsome as Antonin Scalia.” Some would beg to differ, but as it turns out, legal scholar Bryan Garner can brown-nose with the best of them. [WSJ Law Blog]
* In a lawsuit filed against real estate database Zillow, a former employee claims she was subjected to the “most heinous acts of sexual harassment imaginable” and “sexual torture.” That’s just lovely. [LAist]
* Law firm merger activity is still going strong as 2014 winds down to a close. Aside from big-name tie-ups like Bingham / Morgan Lewis and Locke Lord / Edwards Wildman, other firms like Verill Dana also had the urge to merge. [Am Law Daily]
* “Does it really surprise me? Not all that much.” University of Memphis School of Law students are on high alert during finals time after one of their own was almost robbed at gunpoint across the street from campus this week. Yikes. [WMC Action News 5]
* In case you’ve been sleeping under a rock, Above the Law’s managing editor, David Lat, wrote a book called Supreme Ambitions (affiliate link), and it’s been receiving rave reviews. If you dig clerkship lit, you should try to check it out. [National Law Journal]
* “Have a taste of this. It will do you good in so many ways.” Louisa Moritz, one of Bill Cosby’s alleged victims, is interested in filing a class-action lawsuit against the comedian. [Fox News Latino]
* If you’re interested, here’s all of the testimony and evidence that was presented to the grand jury that resulted in no true bill for Darren Wilson in the Michael Brown shooting. [Associated Press]
* HBO hired a team of 160 lawyers to look at its film adaptation of Lawrence Wright’s book about Scientology. The power of thetans compels them to keep churning that bill, baby. [Hollywood Reporter]
* “The Constitution is not a math problem,” but it seems like the Supreme Court is playing a numbers game when it comes to its decisions having to do with same-sex marriage. What’s the magic number for SCOTUS to take a case? [New York Times]
* It’s official: Morgan Lewis has gobbled up most of Bingham McCutchen ahead of the Thanksgiving holiday. Stick a fork in it, because Morgan Lewis is done — it’s now stuffed full of more lawyers than any other firm in the country. [Philadelphia Inquirer]
* Emerson Briggs III, an ex-partner at Hunton & Williams, is facing disbarment in D.C. over the child pornography he downloaded at work. Oh, how the mighty have fallen: he’s been working as a paralegal since being disbarred in New York. [Legal Times]
* Patricia Nesci, a law firm secretary, allegedly forged a judge’s signature on an order to show cause to keep herself from being evicted from her home earlier this month. She apparently did not get a Biglaw-style bonus from her former firm. [Syracuse.com]
* Before you submit your applications, you should try creating a budget to see just how financially screwed you’ll be during and after law school, and then compare it to your pre-law school budget. Try not to cry. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News]
Our Kinney Asia team is working on an exclusive basis to fill a PE fund formation opening, class ’10 to ’12, at a top Wall St. firm and at one of the leading PE fund formation practices in Hong Kong. Mandarin is NOT required for this position. Native level English fluency is required.
Please feel free to reach out to us at firstname.lastname@example.org if you are interested and we will be happy to set up a call to discuss all the details of this opening (and the Hong Kong fund formation market in general).
Autopsies and sex go together like… well they really shouldn’t go together.
* Floridian women lawyers got their wish: Bad Judge, plagued by bad ratings, is getting canceled. [Daily Business Review]
* A round-up of write-ups about today’s oral arguments in the Israel / Jerusalem passport case. [How Appealing]
* Interesting reflections from Professor Glenn Reynolds on the controversial catcalling video.
[USA Today via Instapundit]
* Things are bats**t insane — literally — at this Utah courthouse. [Gawker]
* The D.C. Circuit gives the EPA its way on cross-state air pollution. [Breaking Energy]
* Election monitors from the Justice Department: possibly coming to a jurisdiction near you (including Bergen County, New Jersey, where I grew up). [BuzzFeed]
* Can cops force suspects to use their fingerprints to unlock their cellphones? Eric Crusius and Lisa Giovinazzo debate, after the jump. [Fox News]
* After being temporarily suspended as part of “Porngate” for trafficking in “highly demeaning portrayals of members of various segments of the population, including women, elderly persons, and uniformed school girls,” Seamus McCaffrey retires from the Pennsylvania Supreme Court. [Philadelphia Daily News]
* A group of women lawyers in Miami has called for NBC to cancel Bad Judge because it “depicts a female judge as unethical, lazy, crude, hyper-sexualized, and unfit to hold such an esteemed position of power.” Indeed there’s no place for depicting women judges that way on TV. Especially when Miami is perfectly capable of depicting them that way in real life. [Crushable]
* Epic trademark infringement. [Legal Cheek]
* Crazy pro se guy slapped down in Canada. [Lowering the Bar]
* While almost everyone else is seeing lower applications, USC Law saw a 5 percent bump. [USC Gould School of Law]
* Stanford and Dartmouth in hot water over election law charges in Montana. Apparently piercing the imaginary veil of non-partisanship in judicial elections is the problem and not the whole idea of judicial elections in the first place. [Montana Standard]
Finally, a scene that realistically depicts what being a lawyer is really like.
* A Saul Goodman Bobblehead. You know you want it. [Amazon (affiliate link)] * It looks like that Jimmy John’s non-compete agreement we reported on is going to spawn a congressional inquiry. [Huffington Post] * His dreams of becoming a solicitor were sidetracked when he was “jailed for slapping a sleeping woman in the face […]
Come for the oral argument coverage, stay for the point where Justice Alito tries to hump Justice Kagan….