I don’t fight. I think it’s stupid. I’m trained as an attorney. If I want to hurt you, I’m going to sue you. I’m going to leverage your house. I’m gonna give you three years of hell in a courtroom. I’m going to bleed dry you financially, and I’m going to humiliate you as I depose you for eight hours and make you my bitch.
* Dewey think Joel Sanders and Steve DiCarmine, former head honchos of the failed firm D&L, have a friend in the District Attorney’s office? Even their opponents in their criminal case want their civil case stayed. [WSJ Law Blog]
* “They’re literally dancing in the streets in Cleveland.” Frederick Nance, Cleveland-based regional managing partner of Squire Patton Boggs and lawyer to King LeBron, couldn’t be more thrilled that his client is returning to the Cleveland Cavaliers. Hooray for hometown billables. [Am Law Daily]
* Tracy Morgan filed a lawsuit against Walmart over the fatal car wreck that killed his friend and left him with numerous broken bones. We suppose his injuries will prevent him from getting girls pregnant. [CNN]
* The NYLS grad who founded an imperiled cupcakery dropped enough Crumbs to lead investors to her rescue. Now the bakeshop has enough cash to make it through bankruptcy. [DealBook / New York Times]
* Fabulicious? Teresa Giudice, the Real Housewife of New Jersey who pleaded guilty to fraud charges last year, is awaiting sentencing of up to 27 months, but isn’t sure she regrets what she did. [New York Post]
Teresa and Joe Giudice, famous for their roles on the Real Housewives of New Jersey, have entered guilty pleas in their federal bank fraud case. Media outlets are reporting that Teresa faces 21 to 27 months and Joe is facing 37 to 46 months.
The plea agreement reached is not one with a sentence specified. In reality, the sentencing range is a suggested sentence under the guidelines; the court is free to sentence them up to the maximum of 50 years. Of course, it is highly unlikely that either Joe or Teresa would be sentenced to 50 years. My prediction is that Teresa gets probation and Joe gets two to three years.
Ed. note: Please welcome Jenny M. Brandt, who will be covering celebrities and the law. You can read her full bio at the end of this post.
Real Housewives of New Jersey table-turner Teresa Giudice was indicted with her husband for a slew of charges including mail fraud, wire fraud, bankruptcy fraud, and making false statements on a mortgage application. Giudice has filed for a separate trial from her husband, Joe. The motion, available via PACER, reveals interesting details about the alleged fraud…
* Chess match becomes eight-hour police standoff. Sure, that makes sense. [Lowering the Bar]
* A roundup of the worst courtroom jokes of all time. The decision to kick off Roe v. Wade with a sexist joke was so “meta.” [Salon]
* Order some fine wines from Barrister Winery, founded by two lawyers who bought a home wine-making kit and turned it into their business. [Barrister Winery]
* A Brooklyn ADA is not fired for calling hookers from his office phone. Charlie Hynes runs a tight ship over there. [Brooklyn Magazine]
* A new study suggests that smartphones may make you meeker. The flaw with the study is that someone with a desktop doesn’t walk away and “take the initiative” because they’re more gung ho, but because desktops are not as cool as sitting around and playing Temple Run on your smartphone. [The Careerist]
* Simon Lazarus, Senior Counsel at the Constitutional Accountability Center, says that libertarianism has taken over the Supreme Court. I won’t believe it until they hand down a ruling about returning to the gold standard. [The New Republic]
* Teresa and Joe from The Real Housewives of New Jersey “charged with conspiracy to commit mail and wire fraud, bank fraud, making false statements on loan applications and bankruptcy fraud in a 39-count indictment.” Teresa’s reaction to the news after the jump…
If you’re like most people who have an important drug test coming up — say, for a new law firm job or for probation (kind of the same thing) — you probably prepare by doing things such as guzzling water, sucking pennies, or ladling your roommate’s urine into a pocket flask.
A somewhat less effective way to prepare involves going on a cocaine and amphetamine binge hours before your drug test and hoping for the best. But that didn’t stop Lindsay Lohan from trying last week:
Lindsay Lohan’s probation has been revoked and a bench warrant issued for her arrest…. Although the bench warrant was issued, it’s being held — i.e., on hold — until Friday at 8:30 AM, when Lindsay is ordered to appear in court.
The move by Judge Elden Fox comes after Lindsay failed two drug tests recently … one showed the presence of cocaine and another showed amphetamines.
Under the terms of her probation, Lindsay could get 60 days for her latest misstep, and the bench warrant comes just weeks after Lindsay completed a 14-day jail stint and 23 days in UCLA’s in-patient celebrity-enabling sanctuary rehab for another parole violation.
As an occasional taxpayer (albeit in a different state), I’m annoyed California has to waste precious time and resources monitoring and jailing Lindsay, when they could be doing something useful, like banning Jay Leno. As a lawyer, I’m itching to blame someone or something(s) for her downward spiral, and I have found the proximate clause: her boobs.
Ed. note: Welcome to ATL’s new column, Fame Brief. Since Kash has left the building, Marin, ATL’s other lady-in-waiting, will be picking up her celebrity beat and filling you in on the latest celebrity legal shenanigans. Before you fall over yourself to post an annoying comment about how this blog be sinking or how nobody cares about celebrities, consider that our celebrity posts are some of the most popular ones on here. So SOMEBODY out there cares about celebrities….
When I got my first credit card, my dad was afraid I’d go hog wild and buy a suit of armor, sconces, breast implants, decorative fireplace accessories, a foosball table, IVF treatments, a boat and a monstrous “Tuscan villa” McMansion in Towaco, NJ. But at least I’m making payments on these purchases, unlike Joe and Teresa Giudice of the Real Housewives of New Jersey, who filed for Chapter 7 back in October 2009….
Ed. note: The Asia Chronicles column is authored by Kinney Recruiting. Kinney has made more placements of U.S. associates, counsels and partners in Asia than any other recruiting firm in each of the past seven years. You can reach them by email: email@example.com.
Please note that Evan Jowers and Robert Kinney are still in Hong Kong and will stay FOR THE REMAINDER OF THIS WEEK. We still have a handful of available slots for meetings with our Asia Chronicles fans. If we have not been in touch lately, reach out and let us know when we could meet! There is no need for an agenda at all. Most of our in-person meetings on these trips are with folks who understand that improving a legal practice through lateral hiring is an information-driven process that takes time to handle correctly.
Regarding trends in lateral US associate hiring in Hong Kong, we of course keep much of what we know off of this blog. Based on placement revenue, though, Kinney is having one of our most successful years ever in Asia. We are helping a number of our law firm clients with M&A, fund formation, cap markets, project finance, FCPA and disputes openings. These are very specific needs in many cases, so a conversation with us before jumping in may be helpful. As always, we like to be sure to get the maximum number of interviews per submission, using a well-informed, highly targeted, and selective approach, taking into account short, medium and long-term career aims.
Making a well informed decision during a job search is easier said than done – the information we provide comes from 10 years of being the market leader in US attorney placements at the top tier firms in Asia. There is no substitute for having known a hiring partner since he/she was an associate or for having helped a partner grow his or her practice from zip to zooming, and this is happily where we stand today – with years of background information on just about every relevant person in all the markets we serve, and most especially in Hong Kong/China/Greater Asia. So get in touch and get a download from us this week if we can fit it in, or soon in any case!
The legal industry is being disrupted at every level by technological advances. While legal tech entrepreneurs and innovators are racing to create a more efficient and productive future, there is widespread indifference on the part of attorneys toward these emerging technologies.
When the LexisNexis Cloud Technology Survey results were reported earlier this year, it showed that attorneys were starting to peer less skeptically into the future, and slowly but surely leaning more toward all the benefits the law cloud has to offer.
Because let’s face it, plenty of attorneys are perhaps a bit too comfortable with their “system” of practice management, which may or may not include neon highlighters, sticky notes, dog-eared file folders, and a word processing program that was last updated when the term “raise the roof” was still de rigueur.