Texas

* New lawyers in Texas are now being allowed to take their attorney oaths through Zoom and other teleconferencing apps. Hopefully they aren’t shirtless and in bed when they are sworn in. [Houston Chronicle]

* Former New Orleans mayor Ray Nagin is the latest high-profile figure to be released from prison early because of COVID-19. [NBC News]

* The SEC has scored a slam dunk against an attorney who allegedly defrauded NBA star Charles Barkley of millions of dollars. [Bloomberg Law]

* A New Jersey petting zoo operator has been charged with animal cruelty for allegedly abusing dozens of pigs. Wonder if he calls himself “Pig King,” although the name doesn’t have a ring to it. [New Jersey Herald]

* Former presidential candidate Andrew Yang has sued the New York State Board of Elections for canceling New York’s Democratic presidential primary. [Politico]

* The Supreme Court narrowly held that Georgia could not place its entire state code behind a paywall. Along similar lines, hopefully the Supreme Court will soon find that PACER fees should be eliminated. [New York Times]

* A lawyer who got ejected from the Second Circuit last year is asking the Supreme Court to hear his case. Since the high court is conducting arguments by phone currently, maybe he’ll just get hung up on. [New York Law Journal]

* A lawyer who stole $128,000 from a mentally ill client has been suspended from practice. [Bloomberg Law]

* Missouri has become the first U.S. state to sue China over the COVID-19 pandemic. Not sure this is a distinction to be proud of. [U.S. News and World Report]

* A Texas judge has been forced to take down a rainbow flag after an attorney filed a complaint and compared the symbol to a swastika and Confederate flag. [Hill]

* Attorney General Barr has called stay-at-home orders “disturbingly close to house arrest” and the Justice Department might take actions against states that go too far. [NBC News]

* Lawyers are having a difficult time determining if COVID-19 is an act of God. Maybe they should subpoena the Almighty to get more clarity… [Bloomberg Law]

* A Texas judge has been disciplined for posting Facebook congratulations to attorneys who won jury verdicts in her courtroom. Should have saved that conduct for LinkedIn… [Texas Lawyer]

* An attorney representing Anheuser-Busch in a lawsuit involving a Bud Light Super Bowl ad has requested a new oral argument date because he tested positive for COVID-19. [Bloomberg Law]

* Michael Sussman, the attorney for the alleged Monsey stabber (and a former adversary of mine), is requesting an autopsy of the victim even though autopsies run counter to Jewish burial traditions. [Forward]

* Jeff Sessions has stated that he has no regrets about leaving the Senate to serve as the Attorney General of the United States. [Hill]

* The owner of a strip club in Flint, Michigan, has filed a lawsuit claiming that the Payroll Protection Program improperly excludes businesses in the sex industry. This story is kind of reminiscent of another “Flynt”… [Michigan Live]

* A judge is complaining that some attorneys are appearing shirtless and in bed for court conferences held via Zoom because of COVID-19. Of course, this is happening in Florida… [Local 10]

* Speaking of which, the Supreme Court will be conducting oral arguments by remote means next month. It seems that there will be no on-camera component to the arguments, so counsel might get away with participating in their underwear. [CNN]

* Check out this Texas lawyer who traded a suit for scrubs and volunteered to help COVID-19 patients at a New York hospital. [Dallas Morning News]

* A federal judge has ruled that ICE must allow detainees to have private phone calls with their attorneys during the COVID-19 pandemic. [Los Angeles Times]

* McDonald’s employees have filed a class-action lawsuit against the fast food chain alleging that the company has a systematic sexual harassment problem. [Business Insider]

* The North Carolina Attorney General is investigating someone for price gouging for offering to sell a roll of toilet paper for $100. Maybe it was just super premium toilet paper? [AP]

* Even though RBG has continued to hit the gym during the COVID-19 pandemic, Justice Breyer has been cooped up at his home cooking pot roast, having video nights with his grandkids, and going on an occasional jog while maintaining social distance. [Wall Street Journal]

* A Texas pastor has filed a lawsuit seeking to hold religious services despite shelter-in-place orders related to COVID-19. [Daily Mail]

* Austrian authorities are facing a class-action lawsuit over their handling of a massive COVID-19 outbreak at a popular ski resort. Avoiding COVID-19 can be my latest excuse to avoid hitting the slopes… [CNN]

* A federal judge has publicly reprimanded a lawyer for threatening opposing counsel and falsely claiming that anti-semitic insults were made against him. [Reuters]

* Despite earlier efforts to stay open, Hobby Lobby stores in certain locations will be closed amid shelter-in-place orders enacted because of COVID-19. [CBS News]

* Law enforcement is warning that anyone who attempts to avoid an arrest or citation by faking COVID-19 symptoms could face serious consequences. We’ve all tried to get out of a ticket at some point, but this is really low. [ABC News]

* Harley-Davidson has a new top lawyer — hopefully he gets a few Harleys thrown into his compensation package. [Bloomberg Law]

* Federal courts have begun to promote teleconferencing for certain criminal and civil matters due to the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic. [Indiana Lawyer]

* The New York Attorney General is looking into privacy settings on the popular Zoom videoconferencing app that may make it vulnerable to hackers. [New York Times]

* Zoom is having a rough week, as the videoconferncing app is also being sued for allegedly sharing user data with Facebook. [CBS News]

* A federal appeals court has temporarily allowed Texas to prohibit nonessential abortions amid the COVID-19 pandemic. [Dallas Morning News]

* Upcoming oral arguments before the Supreme Court are in limbo because of concerns surrounding COVID-19. The justices should just conduct their business through videoconferencing apps like everyone else in the world at the moment. [CNN]

* A federal judge has dismissed a copyright infringement lawsuit filed by a tattoo artist who claims his work was copied when the video game NBA 2K depicted Lebron James with his tattoo. That’s a fact pattern worthy of a law school exam. [New York Post]

* A Nebraska attorney has been disbarred for punching his 83-year old father in the face. [Bloomberg Law]

* A federal judge in Texas has blocked the state’s ban on non-essential abortions amid the COVID-19 pandemic. [CBS News]

* A federal judge has agreed to advance a lawsuit against Panera alleging that it misled customers when it only used trace amounts of blueberries in its blueberry muffins. Please tell me they only don’t use trace amounts of chocolate in their chocolate chip muffins… [Reuters]

* An attorney who interrupted a deposition around 145 times and made 106 objections has been sanctioned $1,000. [ABA Journal]

* In-house counsel at a variety of companies, including The Cheesecake Factory, are facing pay cuts because of the COVID-19 pandemic. Not even joking, I would gladly accept cheesecake as part of my compensation package. [Bloomberg Law]

* Michael Cohen’s lawyers have argued that President Trump’s former personal lawyer should leave prison early because of COVID-19. A lot of lawyers seem to be making hay of the COVID-19 pandemic. [Yahoo News]

* A San Antonio attorney has been arrested for firing a gun outside of his ex-girlfriend’s workplace and stealing from her car. [San Antonio Current]

* Apparently, attorneys in Kentucky can threaten to kill each other without fear of facing bar consequences. [Courier Journal]

* A Texas inmate’s execution has been delayed because his attorney argued that holding the execution might help spread COVID-19. [CBS News]

* New York has suspended debt collection efforts due to issues surrounding COVID-19. Don’t go crazy on your credit cards, the suspension is only scheduled to last 30 days. [Hill]

* Representatives of Barack Obama have sent a cease and desist letter to a Republican Super PAC for using snippets from Obama’s audio books. But soundboarding is so much fun! [CNN]

* A Texas judge is blaming low blood sugar on a tirade that he leveled against a criminal defense lawyer. [Texas Lawyer]

* A law firm accountant is facing grand theft and attempted murder charges for a rampage she committed against coworkers earlier this year. [Gainesville Sun]

* South Carolina is facing litigation over a law that bans teachers from discussing LGBTQ issues in the classroom. [Guardian]

* An attorney who gave up the practice of law five decades ago has decided to reinstate his law license at the age of 82. It’s never to late to resume the practice of law. [ABA Journal]

* Kevin Hart is trying to dismiss a sex tape lawsuit by alleging that a process server merely threw papers out of a car window while driving by his house. It would be pretty awesome if there was a drive-by method of service… [TMZ]

* A Michigan man has been arrested for threatening to “bleed [out]” the lawyer who represents the whistleblower at the heart of the Trump impeachment investigation. [NBC News]

* A lawyer has plead not guilty to charges related to the murder of a Connecticut mom. [New York Daily News]

* A Texas lawyer needs to pay $40 Million in taxes after losing a lawsuit against the IRS. [Texas Lawyer]

* Former New York politician Sheldon Silver has formulated a new strategy to keep himself out of jail for an even longer period of time. With tactics like this, Silver doesn’t need a presidential pardon… [New York Post]

* A New York City attorney has been accused of filing over 300 lawsuits on behalf of two clients who had no idea he was representing them. [New York Post]

* Ben & Jerry’s has been sued for allegedly misleading consumers about claims that its milk is sourced from “happy cows.” Wonder if the cows will get subpoenaed… [USA Today]

* New York has joined California and others in suing Juul, the maker of electronic cigarettes, for allegedly illicit conduct in connection with advertising to minors. [NBC]

* Ja Rule has been dismissed from a class action about the failed Fyre Festival. No need to read the article, there will probably be three documentaries about the lawsuit someday. [Billboard]

* A South African lawyer died in a freak accident this week after she dropped a loaded gun in court. [People]

* A lawyer in Texas has been arrested for returning to the firm that had just axed her and firing a gun. [Dallas Morning News]

* In case you missed it, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said he’d be willing to entertain a Democratic president’s Supreme Court nominee in 2021 because it would be “politically unsustainable” to hold open a vacancy for so long — but that doesn’t mean there’d be a confirmation. [POLITICO]

* It’s sick that we need a federal court order to get this done, but… conditions for migrant children must be improved immediately at Border Patrol facilities in Texas because right now, they “could be compared to torture facilities.” [New York Times]

* A judge has permanently enjoined the Trump administration from diverting $2.5 million in military funds to construct a wall on the southern border. We imagine there will be some Twitter rant about “Obama judges” coming soon. [The Hill]

* October Term 2018 was pretty strange and we saw SCOTUS justices making strange bedfellows in their opinions, with Justices Gorsuch and Kavanaugh joining the high court’s liberals in the majority for one of the most FUCT-up cases. [NBC News]

* Hoping to open your own firm or join a small law firm after graduation from law school? If that’s the case, then you might be interested to know that average compensation in this area of the legal profession is down, with women earning incomes 36 percent lower than their male counterparts. [Law.com]