Texas

If you want to see an unprofessional rant from a federal judge, here's the transcript of Judge Hughes berating a federal counterterrorism prosector in a hail of disrespect.

This allegedly intoxicated prosecutor found herself on the wrong side of the law after the big game.

* Uh-oh! Martin Shkreli may have gotten more than he bargained for when he bought the one and only copy of the Wu-Tang Clan’s “Once Upon a Time in Shaolin.” An artist whose work appears on the album’s packaging has filed a copyright infringement suit against the smug pharma bro. [WSJ Law Blog]

* A Texas ADA was arrested this weekend for DWI after crashing into a parked car. According to police, it appeared as if she was trying to leave the scene. She’s been a prosecutor for almost a year, and hasn’t been put on a leave of absence for her alleged transgressions (yet). [FOX 7 Austin]

* “I don’t understand why donors should not donate money to the Law School because some moron, some racist decided to put black tape on some portraits.” Some alumni (not this guy) are uncertain if they’ll continue to donate to Harvard Law. [Harvard Crimson]

* President Obama has proposed a cybersecurity plan that’ll cost $19+ billion. Americans will learn how to better secure their accounts to prevent illegal hacks. That’s a lot of cash to teach people not to use “123456” as their password. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg]

* Have your birthday cake and eat it too, because the terms of Warner Music Group’s “Happy Birthday to You” settlement have been disclosed, and up to $14 million is up for grabs for those who’ve had to pay licensing fees to use it. [L.A. Now / Los Angeles Times]

Cranky judge rips federal prosecutors for "ineptitude" in his courtroom.

* “This is, since the recession, the most robust job growth we’ve seen.” Nearly all students who worked at Biglaw firms this past summer as associates received offers of full-time employment. Offer rates haven’t been this high in more than a decade. [National Law Journal]

* Mommy, wow! I’m a big kid now! Affluenza teen Ethan Couch was finally deported from Mexico and booked into a juvenile detention center. Today, we’ll see if he’ll be moved to a big-boy jail, and in February, we’ll see if his case is moved to the grown-up court system. [Associated Press]

* Sorry, Hillary Clinton, but President Obama has no desire to be on SCOTUS. According to White House press secretary Josh Earnest, while Obama “would have plenty of ideas for how he would do a job like that,” he “may have other things to do.” [The Hill]

* It’s so hard to get execution drugs that Mississippi Attorney General Jim Hood is asking state legislators for alternative methods for carrying out death sentences, like death by firing squad, electrocution, and hanging. Seems reasonable? [Reuters]

* Arizona is so eager to kill people it hired Alston & Bird to go up against the Food and Drug Administration in the state’s quest to obtain the release of a shipment of execution drugs that it had imported to the country from India this summer. [BuzzFeed News]

Market or above-market bonuses + Texas cost of living = Happy associates.

* The Supreme Court may undo President Obama’s legacy… of executive actions. [Talking Points Memo]

* Speaking of United States v. Texas, it just may be Chief Justice John Roberts’s worst nightmare. [Slate]

* Today is a special anniversary: six years, the Supreme Court issued its Citizens United decision, and democracy hasn’t looked the same since. [Huffington Post]

* Interesting data analysis from Professor Derek T. Muller: as full-time law faculty numbers shrink, law school administrator numbers grow. [Excess of Democracy]

* Benghazi is getting a Michael Bay movie — and the congressional hearing is still raging on. [Rolling Stone]

* Attorneys for Daniel Holtzclaw, the Oklahoma City police officer convicted of raping eight women while on duty, have filed a motion seeking a new trial; they suspect discovery shenanigans on the part of the prosecution. [Gawker]

* Nope. Hillary Clinton may not be a radical, but she also isn’t a moderate Republican. [Lawyers, Guns and Money]

* Seven legal tech considerations for 2016, from lawyer and legal-tech enthusiast Steven J. Best. [Legal Tech Blog]

Who says Texans hate New York values?

* Justice Judy? According to a poll conducted by the American Council of Trustees and Alumni, about 10 percent of college graduates think that Judith Sheindlin, aka Judge Judy, serves on the bench of the Supreme Court. [CNN]

* If you haven’t heard, Houston-based firm Bracewell & Giuliani lost one of its famous name partners this week. Former New York Mayor and founding New York partner Rudy Giuliani is taking his nouns and verbs about 9/11 and heading to presumably greener pastures at Greenberg Traurig. [DealBook / New York Times]

* Yeehaw! Ride ’em, partners! Orrick Herrington & Sutcliffe is the latest Biglaw firm to open an outpost in Houston, Texas, and there’s no better way to staff an office in the Wild Wild West than to poach 20 partners from your competitor firms. [Texas Lawyer]

* Texas Wesleyan Law graduates have officially lost the diploma war they’ve been waging against Texas A&M Law. A judge recently dismissed their case for want of any evidence of wrongdoing whatsoever. [National Law Journal via Courthouse News Service]

* Martin Shkreli is sick and tired of being depicted as nothing more than a “pharma bro” in the press, so he’s decided to get new legal representation in his securities fraud case, as if that’ll somehow solve all of his problems. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]

* The most difficult thing to inherit may just be an Apple ID — a widow is told by the technology behemoth she needs a court order to continue playing her games on a jointly owned iPad. [Digital Passing]

* Your trusty Bluebook is going to need some help if it is going to continue to be the bane of law students’ existence. [Harvard Crimson]

* Is it too much to ask for a picture of RBG playing Xbox? A class action over Xbox’s tendency to scratch discs heads to the Supreme Court. [Forbes]

* Orrick is casting its lot with the energy market — they are opening up a Houston office with the addition of 20 new partners. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Is threatening someone with blackmail merely a courtesy? [Associates Mind]

* ATL managing editor David Lat will be in San Francisco next month, and you’re cordially invited to meet him at this cocktail reception and Supreme Ambitions (affiliate link) book signing. [FBANC via Eventbrite]

This attorney comes across as a decidedly earnest and heartfelt good guy rather than an a**hole lawyer.

The top three candidates -- U.S. Attorney Preet Bharara, LGBT rights litigator Mary Bonauto, and "Law Hawk" Bryan Wilson -- were separated by just four votes. Who won?

Traffic stops are among the most common encounters with law enforcement that most Americans will have; if the average citizen has no clue what her rights or duties are during these encounters, then we’re doing it wrong.

* Texas Governor Greg Abbott is calling for a constitutional convention to add 9 new amendments to the constitution in the name of state rights. Texas, you’re drunk, go home. [Dallas Morning News]

* Clients are now demanding to text their lawyers. This is the official end of free time. [Daily Lawyer Tips]

* Constructing the history of black pain. [Lawyers, Guns and Money]

* The SEC has announced sanctions against Steven Cohen — he’ll be barred from managing hedge funds for two years. [Dealbreaker]

* Dealing with ambiguity in bankruptcy law when it comes to liability payments. [Law and More]

* A sandwich? You just committed armed robbery for a crappy sandwich? Bad decision, dude. [Legal Juice]

* A great podcast previewing the trial of the Winter Soldier. [The Legal Geeks]

Time to cast your vote!

* Everyone was under the impression that Dickstein Shapiro and Bryan Cave would be tying the knot by the year’s end, but instead, it looks like their brief love affair has turned into a bad romance. Oh no! Will Dickstein Shapiro be left at the altar? [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]

* “The idea they own the name ‘blue’ for a manual for legal citations is ridiculous.” A rival citation guide to The Bluebook will be released in 2016, using the name “BabyBlue.” Since a Biglaw IP attorney is involved in the copyright clash, this is already more exciting than techciting. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Ethan Couch, the Texas teen who was too rich to realize his actions had consequences, was apparently also too rich to realize he shouldn’t hide out in a ritzy vacation locale in Mexico while on the run from police with his mother. Damn you, affluenza! [CNN]

* If you’re looking for a law firm where you can take time off whenever you want and still earn a healthy paycheck, then look no further than Ashton KCJ Lawyers in England. That’s a perk we’re sure attorneys in the U.S. would love their firms to adopt. [Mirror]

* Annie, get your gun: Gun-toting Texans are going to have a very happy new year, because come January 1, 2016, the state’s new open carry law will go into effect. The open carrying of handguns had previously been banned in the state since 1865. [RT]

* Jeffrey Feulner, founder of the Men’s Divorce Law Firm, was charged with domestic violence battery after he allegedly attacked his wife. She filed for divorce three days later — and presumably used a more woman-friendly lawyer as counsel. [Orlando Sentinel]

A low cost of living, no state income tax, and New York-sized bonuses -- what's not to like?

District Attorney Abel Reyna may not be able to get a grand jury to indict a ham sandwich, but he could probably get a grand jury to indict defendants for the murder of a ham sandwich.

* Bill Cosby files suit against 7 women who accused him of sexual assault, because accusers say the darnedest things. [BBC News]

* NY to 193!!! If you’re a state judge. Maybe. [NY Daily News]

* Bowe Bergdahl faces court-martial for desertion. It’s like Saving Private Ryan meets Earnest Goes To Fort Leavenworth. [NY Times]

* Jury convicts the Bryan Cave attorney accused of fraud in an effort to take over Maxim magazine. [NY Post]

* A Missouri lawmaker proposes a bill to strip athletes of scholarships if they refuse to play because one possible scrap of power for black people hasn’t been regulated yet. [Huffington Post]

* Rather than accept the $200 million judgment against Andrews Kurth, a Texas judge orders the parties back to mediation. [Law360]

* Putin signs law allowing Russia to overturn international human rights decisions in a move that, frankly, I’m surprised wasn’t taken years ago. [Reuters]

The Texas Law Hawk hits the mainstream media with this tribute from CNN.