Texas

* Standing Evacuation: Republicans flee en masse as Judge Jackson is confirmed to the highest court in the land. [Mediaite]

* Marjorie Taylor Greene, who advocated for the execution of Democrat politicians in 2018 and 2019, ran to the police because of a joke on Jimmy Kimmel. Talk about a snowflake. [Twitter]

* The 4th as a nicety: Portland Police did a bunch of snooping and data collection on protestors without really explaining why. [Oregon Live]

* Texan charged with assault after an argument over mosquitoes. You’re supposed to swat them, not your friends. [NBC News]

* Post-school suspensions: several hundred attorneys got their licenses suspended over paperwork. Mind your P&Qs or risk your J&Ds. [Oregon Live]

* In memoriam: A son remembers a legal giant. [The Pulse]

* Gagging the 1st: 11th Circuit considers the constitutionality of a law that imposes heightened penalties on a class of protesters. [CBS 12]

* The police are called on Yale students who protested a Federalist Society lecturer. What happened to fighting speech with speech? [New York Post]

* Texas is locking up folks without filing charges or giving them lawyers. No way this is legal. [The Texas Tribune]

* Turns out Pepe does not go to the moon: 500k lawsuit follows after an NFT buyers faces the power of ctrl + v. [Notebook Check]

* White House condemns Russia’s legal campaign against fake news. [Reuters]

* Nevertheless, they persisted: More Texans than expected were able to get healthcare access despite SB8’s limitations. [NYT]

* Washington’s House just approved limitations on gun magazine sizes. Oddly enough, the nerf will not effect Nerf products. [Seattle Times]

* Six feet! Oregon wants to prevent home buyers from getting a little too personal with their please-sell-us-the-house “love letters.” [USA Today]

* Long legacy: lawmakers are trying to get rid of a 1950 California Constitution addition meant to keep Black families out of White neighborhoods. [SFGate]

* Making man a better friend: a recent Texas law aims to protect dogs left out in the cold. And the hot. [Fox]

* Transparency each day keeps the bankruptcy away: a new bill will prevent surprise charges on medical bills. [Kare11]

* Connecticut’s Supreme Court recently ruled that women only gyms break discrimination laws. The jury is out if it is okay for the women that would have attended the women’s only gym to yell “You lift like a girl!” at men doing deadlifts at Planet Fitness. [AP]

* Arizona makes $1.2b in revenue from its first year of legal weed sales. That’s a lot of iced tea! [NY Post]

* Soon, it may be legal to make homemade hard liquor in this state. West Virginia…Bootleg mama… [WBOY]

* If corporations are people, what’s next, rivers? Well actually… [NCRonline]

* Alabama’s attempt at redistricting was thrown out. Does the Voting Right Act still have some teeth left after all? [Reuters]

* The use of affirmative action in college admissions is probably next up on the Supreme Court’s chopping block. [USA Today]

* Woman is arrested in Texas after trying to buy someone’s child at a Wal-Mart for $500k. There are some things you just can’t roll back prices on, libertarians. [NBC News]

* Police sent the wrong guy to jail because his name was too similar to someone else’s. Guess a rose by any other name is bitter after all. [Independent]

* The “Right to Repair” movement has some executive backing. Celebrate by doing it yourself! Or paying a third-party vendor. You do you. [Vice]

* After a six-year legal tussle, Prince’s estate has an agreed-upon value. Maybe they should have just listened to the intro of “Let’s Go Crazy,” the one where it says “electric word life, it means forever and it’s worth about $156.4M.” [ Al.com]

* “Some of us are more equal than others”: Texas voting bill meant to exclude non-citizens caught a few citizens in its net. [Depaulia Online]

* Working on those application? See what U.S. News thinks you ought be paying attention to. [U.S. News]

* A congressman is pushing for a four-day work week. If this becomes a thing, will everyone hate Tuesdays? [Business Insider]

* Fines for breaching GDPR are looking scary high. In-house, you better crack down on storing your customer’s identifying information! [CNBC]

* Whose house? IN-HOUSE!!! Check out the report! [Above the Law]

* Wanna know something constitutional? Not the Texas abortion ban’s enforcement mechanism according to one judge’s reading of the state constitution. [WaPo]

* I know you’ve been following the Jussie Smollett trial — here’s what happened. [NY Post]

* Ever wondered how the other side of the pond legislates abortion? Here’s a primer. [WaPo]

* Risk? In this economy?! In-house teams are taking a new approach. [Financial Times]

* 5th Circuit literally okays cops kicking a man when he’s down and Sotomayor isn’t having it. [Law & Crime]

* For the international law folks: Biden wants to boycott the 2022 Olympics because of the whole genocide thing. [USA Today]

* The Justice Department is suing Texas, claiming its redistricting is discriminatory toward Latinos. Could you do something nice for once, Texas? Like, pretty please with extra oil on top? [WaPo]

* Trump basically just admitted to obstruction of justice. I’m sure his lawyers are happy about this. [The Hill]

* “I’ll make my own fake news! With Freedom!” says Trump, with a congressman resigning to join the mission. [CNBC]

* “We’re so progressive, even our diversity has diversity!” – The person who greenlit white folks doing their best Robert Downey Jr. impression to combat racism. [Buzzfeed News]

*  Separation of Church and Scholarship: SCOTUS will be deciding if secular scholarships can be used for religious schools. [ABA Journal]

* I knew there was always money in the banana stand. But the church? [Newsweek]

* Governor DeSantis is trying to create his own civilian police force. This is totally normal. Definitely not something you do before civil conflict. [WHDH]

* Texas spits in the face of Roe again by making medical abortions after 7 weeks a felony. [The Texas Tribune]

* On today’s episode of  Strange Scholarships™: Sheriffs who pick and choose when to enforce the laws they are supposed to uphold. [The Daily Beast]

* New York’s “Nourish Bill” will encourage farmers to send their surplus produce to food banks. This is a kind of corn-y I can get behind! [WIVB]

* Texas passes law that puts penalties on being too good of a Samaritan. [The Battalion]

* If you’ve served your country and need another reason to not harm your partner(s) — be horrible and they may take your precious gun(s) away. [Military.com]

* For any 0Ls who’d like some help wrapping their heads around the Rittenhouse verdict, here are a couple lawyers who might help make sense of self-defense doctrine. [NPR]

* In addition to automatically going to heaven, Texas law makes sure dogs won’t be kept on chains outside. [Houston Chronicle]

* Two men who lynched a runner in Georgia are hoping a law that dates back to slavery can keep them out of prison. If you’re reading this in Alabama and feel like you’ve inadvertently been exposed to CRT, please grow up. [Reuters]

* Despite the dire warnings of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend,  people are still taking the LSAT — and their scores are better on average. [Reuters]

* Florida is luring dissatisfied and unvaccinated cops with a sign-on bonus. This looks like an negligent hiring suit waiting to happen. [Hernando Sun]

* The Patriot Act just celebrated its 20th birthday! Will this be its last? [Just Security]

* Moot Court Prof thinks she was terminated after she made comments about job insecurity. Sometimes professors give employment law hypos; sometimes they become them. [ABA Journal]

* New L.A. law bans homeless encampments in over 50 different places. Where are they supposed to go? [Los Angeles Times]

* Protest against SB8 numbering thousands takes place in downtown Los Angeles. Good to know that the Lone Star state is getting external support. [Daily Sundial]

* Some law firms are choosing real property over virtual workspaces. I guess it is harder to host team-building pizza parties over Zoom. [Law.com]

* CDC okays booster shots for the big 3 COVID vaccines. Can I mix and match? I’m in the mood for a Pfizer x JJ Arnold Palmer. [Law360]

* A Texas education law leads a school administrator to request an even-handed approach to the Holocaust. Yes, Adolf killed over 10 million people… but did you know he was also a painter? [CNN]

* SB8’s back. Back again. I’m tired of re-runs, bring on the finale. [The Hill]

* Judge thinks death row inmate should get a new trial after discovering the judge that sentenced him to death disliked Jews. Bigots getting lined up to make major decisions in people’s lives must be a rare thing, right? [ABA Journal]

* A new question is having a noted impact on voir dire: Are you vaccinated? [Law.com]

* Your boy Zuckerberg is researching AI glasses that see, hear, and record all of your special little moments. It’ll be like this for when some police dept. inevitably uses the data without a warrant. [The Verge]