The Cuckoo’s Calling

* Chris Gossage, the London solicitor who spilled the beans on J.K. Rowling’s pseudonym for The Cuckoo’s Calling (affiliate link), was fined for breaking a client confidence — making him the first person in 2014 to meet his resolution and lose a significant number of pounds. [Perez Hilton] * How awful are student loan companies? This woman tried to discharge a student loan and was told she spent too much income dining out — referencing a $12 McDonald’s Value Meal for her and her husband. You stay klassy, loan sharks! [New York Times] * Border agents really have something against musical instruments. It all dates back to that one time at band camp when a flute stood them up. [Overlawyered] * A super-affordable tuxedo blazer! [Corporette] * ATMs aren’t all that secure. At least not in Brooklyn. Maybe it was opening ironically…. [Legal Juice] * Donald Looper, the founder of 120-lawyer Looper Reed & McGraw, has stepped away from the firm. Probably to head back in time to prevent the firm from ever existing, because that’s what good Loopers do. [ABA Journal] * A human rights lawyer was kidnapped in Syria and the rebel groups seem to not care even a little bit. [Al-Monitor]

Ed. note: We are having an Above the Law retreat this afternoon, so we may be less prolific than usual today. We will return to our regularly scheduled programming tomorrow.

* “I think I am now the hardest-working justice. I wasn’t until David Souter left us.” Justice Ginsburg celebrates her twentieth year on the high bench in true diva style. [USA Today]

* Sorry, EA, the Ninth Circuit thought your First Amendment free expression defense to allegedly stealing college sports players’ likenesses was a load of hooey. [Wall Street Journal]

* “It’s a decision that clearly favors the merchants.” A federal judge gave the Fed a spanking in a ruling on its cap for debit card fees earned by banks after consumer swipes. [DealBook / New York Times]

* “What makes this discriminatory? I don’t think there’s anything in Title 7 that says an employer has to be consistent.” Ropes & Gray’s “token black associate” had his day in court. [National Law Journal]

* The firm that outed J.K. Rowling as author of “The Cuckoo’s Calling” will make a charitable donation as an apology — getting the book to the bestseller’s list wasn’t charitable enough. [New York Times]

* As the bar exam draws to a close today, here’s something to consider: 12,250 people signed up to take the test in New York alone. Are there jobs out there for them? Best of luck! [New York Law Journal]

* The feds want to make a better return on their investment on law student loans. Perhaps it’s time for those good old gainful employment regulations. [Student Loan Ranger / U.S. News & World Report]

* Cleveland kidnapper Ariel Castro is expected to speak at his sentencing hearing today, where a judge will decide if a term of life in prison plus 1,000 years is appropriate punishment for him. [CBS News]

* J.K. Rowling’s outing as The Cuckoo’s Calling (affiliate link) author Robert Galbraith has rendered print copies of the book scarce and a hot collector’s item. Now Rowling is hurling Cruciatus curses at her lawyers as the source of the revelation. [The Guardian] * The New York Times weighs in on the worth of a law degree debate and makes Elie’s day by labeling him “indomitable.” [DealBook / New York Times] * After the Ninth Circuit struck a tone of sanity, federal bankruptcy judges in Michigan and Tennessee remind us that law school debt is forever. [The National Law Journal] * The hottest barristers in London. Meh. Holding out for the hottest solicitors countdown. [Legal Cheek] * A lawyer should get suspended for smuggling stuff out of prison for a client. But shouldn’t the punishment be a tad more severe for smuggling a HIT LIST out of prison for a client? [Mercury News] * The Ten Competencies that law schools should teach. I’d add “understanding how to order from Seamless at 4AM,” but otherwise it’s a solid list. [Associate's Mind] * Penn State has approved a $60 million settlement in the Sandusky cases. Which is less than the football program makes in a year. [Deadspin] * Apparently, the laws and other conditions surrounding America’s oil industry make it only the fifth friendliest place to extract petroleum in the world. Thanks a bunch you granola-eating socialists. [Breaking Energy] * It’s not over yet, but the current projection for law school applicants this year is 59,200. My response to those fresh young go-getters after the jump…