At press time, the child whose future decisions will touch the lives of every American citizen for generations went inside to find a lighter.
– The Onion, describing how an 8-year-old future Supreme Court justice spent his day brutally dismembering a grasshopper. The Onion envisions the Court dominated by a psychopath “who will go on to be the court’s crucial swing vote under five consecutive administrations,” and who “laughed out loud and implored the helpless creature to jump.” That sounds about right.
* You’d think an intellectual property firm would know better than to commit copyright violations. [Law 360]
* Good news, law students! You can get a casebook for the low, low price of $200! [PrawfsBlawg]
* Rachel Ray sued for negligence in trying to help a teen lose weight. If the goal was weight loss, Rachel should have just forced the girl to exclusively eat from Rachel Ray’s cookbook. Nothing can turn someone off eating like that. [US Weekly]
I’d forgotten how cute first-year federal clerkship girls are. Damn! I’m definitely getting ass tonight.
– Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer, commenting on the “epic f**king rager” hosted by fellow Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Unfortunately, the party was broken up by the police after Justice Antonin Scalia reportedly used the DOJ’s Facebook page to invite “everyone who views the writ of certiorari as essential to a robust judiciary” to “come get shwasted at RBG’s place.”
(In case you couldn’t tell, this quote comes from The Onion, a satirical news site, but that in no way takes away from the overall awesomeness of imagining Supreme Court justices “drink[ing] [their] asses off.”)
Striking down the judicial precedent that established the legal supremacy of right over wrong more than two centuries ago, the U.S. Supreme Court on Wednesday overturned Right v. Wrong. The landmark reversal — a bitterly contested 5-4 decision that has been widely praised by murderers, rapists, bigots, usurers, and pro-wrong advocates nationwide — nullifies all previously lawful forms of right and makes it very difficult for Americans to make ethical decisions or be generally decent human beings without facing criminal charges.
I just wanted to get out there, let my talents shine, and show that I, too, can be a constitutional originalist and claim strict adherence to the intent of those who framed our nation’s founding document, thereby advancing a conservative agenda. Pretty sure I nailed it, too.
– “Supreme Court Understudy Fills In For Scalia,” The Onion.
As part of a nationwide tour, Above the Law is coming to the great city of Chicago.
Join preeminent law firm management consultant Bruce MacEwen, Katten Muchin Chicago managing partner Gil Sofer, and JPMorgan Chase & Co. assistant general counsel Jason Shaffer for a panel discussion (sponsored by Pangea3) on the evolutionary and market forces bearing down on the law firm business model. Come on by Thursday, November 20, at 6 p.m., for thought-provoking discussion, food, drink, and networking.
Space is limited and there will be no on-site registration, so please RSVP
Average law school debt for graduates of private universities hovered around $122,000 last year. With only 57% of new attorneys actually obtaining real lawyer jobs, recent graduates have a lot to consider when it comes to managing their student loan payments. Thanks to our friends at SoFi, today’s infographic takes a look at student loan debt, including the possible benefits of refinancing for JDs…
Kinney Recruiting’sEvan Jowers is currently in Hong Kong for client meetings and still has a few slots available through October 22. Evan will also be in Hong Kong November 14 to December 15. Further, Robert Kinney has been in Frankfurt and Munich this week and is available for meetings with our Germany based readers.
One of our key law firm clients has referred us to one of their important clients in the US, Europe and China – a leading global technology supplier for the auto industry – in order to handle their search for a new Asia General Counsel and Asia Chief Compliance Officer.
Kinney is exclusively handling this in-house search.
This position will have a lot of responsibility and include supervision of eight attorneys underneath them in the Asia in-house team. The new hire will report directly to the global general counsel and global chief compliance officer, who is based in the US. The new hire’s ability to make judgement calls is going to be as important as their technical skill set background.
The position is based in Shanghai and will deal with the company’s operations all over Asia and also in India, including frequent acquisitions in the region.
It is expected that the new hire will come from a top US firm’s Shanghai, Beijing or Hong Kong offices, currently in a top flight corporate practice at the senior associate, counsel or partner level. Of course, the candidate can be currently in a relevant in-house role.