Tobey Maguire

Cristina Fierro: not of age.

* Here’s something that’s actually worth crying over instead of your “meh” bonuses. Much like this year’s Cravath scale, Biglaw pro bono hours will likely be stagnant or cut altogether. [Fortune]

* What’s the point of fleeing if you’re just going to let yourself get extradited? Ex-Crowell & Moring counsel, Douglas Arntsen, will return to New York to face grand larceny charges. [New York Law Journal]

* Knock it off: the feds took down 150 sites selling counterfeit goods yesterday, alleging willful copyright infringement. So much for all of those too-good-to-be-true Cyber Monday deals. [Blog of Legal Times]

* It’s pretty much impossible for Gloria Allred to take a client who doesn’t have a vagina. Her latest litigant, 16-year-old Cristina Fierro, is suing Lawrence Taylor for sex trafficking. [New York Post]

* Finally, some Spider-Man drama that we can get behind, unlike that Turn Off the Dark crap. Tobey Maguire has settled his illegal poker lawsuit, and he didn’t even have to go all in. [CNN]

* Sorry, Chick-Fil-A, but no one is going to be confusing your “chikin” trademark with kale. Maybe like 3% of your customers even know what kale is. And that’s being generous. [Huffington Post]

This is my cat, Chloe. Don't steal her, because she is radioactive.

* The Winklevoss twins finally got the point, and decided to drop their case against Facebook. Like. [Bits / New York Times]

* Spiderman, Spiderman / Allegedly gambling whenever he can. / Makes a bet, any size, / Texas Hold ‘Em debts, he denies. / Look out! Here comes the Spiderman. Tobey Maguire’s new theme song? [Daily Mail]

* The king of DC gender discrimination suits plans to sue the Catholic University of America. Doesn’t he know that single-sex dorms will stop these Catholics from having the premarital sex they allegedly don’t have? [WSJ Law Blog]

* Justice Sotomayor gave a speech to the JDRF Children’s Congress, telling them that they, too, could someday be wise Latinas. Also, something about a Zune? [Los Angeles Times]

* Hey, Judge Gummo, next time you get wasted, please remember that you’re supposed to wear a robe, not a sheet. Judicial conferences aren’t fraternity toga parties, bro. [Daily Journal]

* Alright, I really love animals, but if my boyfriend stole my cat, I wouldn’t sue for $11M. I’d just key his car and slash his tires. You know, the usual. He’d give me back my cat for free. [New York Post]

* Things upon which you can now blame your alleged anti-Semitic remarks: booze, benzos, and sleeping pills. Thanks for that, John Galliano. Mel Gibson, please take note. [New York Magazine]

* If you’ve been following the Stetson v. West Publishing case like us (hey, I could use the $12), check out the latest news on the coupon settlement rejection. [National Law Journal]