Tracy Morgan

* In case you missed it, on top of her perjury and obstruction charges, Pennsylvania AG Kathleen Kane’s license to practice law was suspended. As a law professor attempting to make a sick burn noted, “She may be at this point our paralegal general.” [WSJ Law Blog]

* Tracy Morgan made an appearance at The Emmys on Sunday night that earned him a standing ovation, but David Jay Glassman, the attorney representing the Walmart truck driver who hit the comedian’s car last summer, wasn’t applauding. Hmm, perhaps his wife suddenly got pregnant? [The Wrap via Yahoo!]

* If the former leaders of failed firm D&L are convicted this week, we seriously hope that they’re not so disillusioned as to believe they’ll be shipped to a “Club Fed” facility. How long Dewey think these Biglaw alums will last at a place like Rikers? [Am Law Daily]

* New Biglaw associates at some firms are being treated to a second college experience filled with orientation programs, resident advisers, summer reading, and even parties. (At least they get to drink champagne, not Franzia.) [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]

* The president of UMass says its law school will be fully accredited by the American Bar Association within one year’s time. Given that everyone gets a turn when it comes to ABA accreditation, this is one low-expectation-having educator. [Boston Business Journal]

* As it turns out, Marilyn Mosby, State’s Attorney for Baltimore, has been a legal all-star for much of her adult life. Not only did she file charges against police officers in the death of Freddie Gray, but she won a case in front of Judge Judy. Watch the video below. [New York Daily News]

* “No one needs more than 18 years in the high stakes and extremely powerful position of Supreme Court justice.” If you’re against lifetime terms for SCOTUS justices, you’re going to love Fix the Court’s new initiative for voluntary term limits. Who’d actually follow through with this? [Legal Times]

* The DOJ brought a landmark case against FIFA officials, but there’s likely going to be a problem getting those who were charged extradited from Switzerland. Legal experts say it’ll be at least six months until we can get them in the U.S. penalty box. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Sure, Dewey & LeBoeuf’s former chief financial officer may have referred to the firm’s “fake income” and hoped for a “clueless auditor,” but come on, that doesn’t mean that he was involved in anything fraudulent. He’s just a really “blunt” kind of guy. [Am Law Daily]

* UC law students are thanking Gov. Jerry Brown they’re exempt from supplemental tuition increases — “[they] are paying a ton already for [their] degrees.” Good thing legal education is in the toilet, otherwise they’d be paying the fee hikes. [Los Angeles Times]

* Comedian Tracy Morgan has settled his personal injury lawsuit against Wal-Mart over the tractor-trailer truck crash he was involved in last summer. The terms of the settlement have not been disclosed, but we imagine someone will leak them online soon. [Reuters]

https://youtu.be/f6aN3_hKdwk

* Deep in the heart of Texas, a judge refused to dismiss Gov. Rick Perry’s felony case over a silly technicality in the underlying paperwork concerning the special prosecutor’s oath of office. [CNN]

* This lawyer got a spanking for including a noncompete in an associate’s contract that said he wouldn’t be able to practice the same type of law for two years. [Legal Profession Blog via ABA Journal]

* UVA Law came in at #7 in the Graduate Programs ranking of the 50 best law schools, but the the school doesn’t “focus on year-to-year fluctuations in rankings.” Keep those collars popped high. [Cavalier Daily]

* “I’m hopeful that we’ll get our Tracy back, the guy everyone loves.” Tracy Morgan’s lawyer says the comedian’s crash with a Wal-Mart truck this summer has left him with a traumatic brain injury. [Bloomberg]

* After its giant, website-crashing sale debacle earlier this month, someone decided to file a class-action suit against Sephora for discriminating against Asian customers whose accounts were blocked. [Reuters]

* Weil Gotshal is tired of winnowing its workers, so this time around, the firm is relinquishing some of its real estate. The firm will have the same address as usual, but its space will be smaller — 20 percent smaller. [WSJ Law Blog]

* It’s not just leaders of Biglaw firms who are looking to downsize. Leaders of midsize firms are trying to do the same thing, but with their management responsibilities instead of their people. Charming. [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]

* Lawyers are typically stereotyped by the uninformed as being some of the richest people in America. As luck would have it, some lawyers are the richest people in America. Which ones? We’ll have more on this later. [Am Law Daily]

* “If I could redo a year ago, I would still go. Just because I know that [law school] still opens doors.” We’ve got a correction: Silly 2L, Columbia Law — not law school in general — still opens doors. [USA Today]

* Tracy Morgan has spoken out for the first time since his tragic accident this summer, but only after Wal-Mart blamed him for getting hurt in the first place. It’s a rollback on pure class. [New York Daily News]

* Dewey think Joel Sanders and Steve DiCarmine, former head honchos of the failed firm D&L, have a friend in the District Attorney’s office? Even their opponents in their criminal case want their civil case stayed. [WSJ Law Blog]

* “They’re literally dancing in the streets in Cleveland.” Frederick Nance, Cleveland-based regional managing partner of Squire Patton Boggs and lawyer to King LeBron, couldn’t be more thrilled that his client is returning to the Cleveland Cavaliers. Hooray for hometown billables. [Am Law Daily]

* Tracy Morgan filed a lawsuit against Walmart over the fatal car wreck that killed his friend and left him with numerous broken bones. We suppose his injuries will prevent him from getting girls pregnant. [CNN]

* The NYLS grad who founded an imperiled cupcakery dropped enough Crumbs to lead investors to her rescue. Now the bakeshop has enough cash to make it through bankruptcy. [DealBook / New York Times]

* Fabulicious? Teresa Giudice, the Real Housewife of New Jersey who pleaded guilty to fraud charges last year, is awaiting sentencing of up to 27 months, but isn’t sure she regrets what she did. [New York Post]