Trademarks

* Using children’s books to describe the legal academy. It also works for law firms. Like The Monster at the End of This Book (affiliate link), about an associate who fears and reviles an overbearing partner and then learns (about 8 years in) that they’ve had the monster within them all along. [lawprofblawg] * In advance of its showdown before the Supreme Court, UPS changes its policy, but denies wrongdoing. [Redline] * I’ve never been called a Greek Chorus before. I like it. [Law and More] * Reproductive & Sexual Health and Justice senior legal analysts Imani Gandy and Jessica Mason Pieklo discuss both voting rights and abortion access in Texas with political reporter Andrea Grimes. [RH Reality Check] * Op-ed notes that Obamacare opponents are cherry-picking their history. Are there actually Obamacare opponents left? [Washington Post] * A week or so ago I made a joke about OSU Coach Mike “I’m a Man! I’m 40!” Gundy. Apparently he tried to trademark it. [Campus Insiders] * LFC360 chats with Bentham IMF’s Ralph Sutton about making Biglaw more affordable with third-party litigation funding. [LFC360] * A list of the top 100 Wild Men and Wild Women in history. Justice Scalia, Racehorse Haynes and David Boies all make the list. I get why he went with Haynes, but when it comes to a Texas litigation “wild man,” I think Joe Jamail. [What About Clients?]

* After being temporarily suspended as part of “Porngate” for trafficking in “highly demeaning portrayals of members of various segments of the population, including women, elderly persons, and uniformed school girls,” Seamus McCaffrey retires from the Pennsylvania Supreme Court. [Philadelphia Daily News] * A group of women lawyers in Miami has called for NBC to cancel Bad Judge because it “depicts a female judge as unethical, lazy, crude, hyper-sexualized, and unfit to hold such an esteemed position of power.” Indeed there’s no place for depicting women judges that way on TV. Especially when Miami is perfectly capable of depicting them that way in real life. [Crushable] * Epic trademark infringement. [Legal Cheek] * Crazy pro se guy slapped down in Canada. [Lowering the Bar] * While almost everyone else is seeing lower applications, USC Law saw a 5 percent bump. [USC Gould School of Law] * Stanford and Dartmouth in hot water over election law charges in Montana. Apparently piercing the imaginary veil of non-partisanship in judicial elections is the problem and not the whole idea of judicial elections in the first place. [Montana Standard]

Don't use the word "cronut." Unless you're prepared to publicly mock the trademark holder.

* Looks like someone took a lesson from ATL’s Worst Law School bracket and put out a Worst Colleges in America list. We provide a very important service. [NPR] * Converse is suing over 31 alleged Chuck Taylor imitators. Are they mounting a “full court press”? Get it? Yeah there was pretty much no way around that one. [Fashionista] * Lawsuit reveals that struggling business couldn’t keep stores open but could shell out to keep CEO in her 4,560-square-foot home. [Seattle Times] * Harvard Law faculty members join a statement protesting the university’s new sexual harassment policy. [Boston Globe] * Is a sheath dress acceptable interview attire? Asking for a friend. [Corporette] * An interesting review of Lat’s upcoming novel Supreme Ambitions viewing the characters through the lens of William Deresiewicz’s Excellent Sheep (affiliate links) [Huffington Post Books] * Which is more galling? That the magistrate tried to weasel out of performing a legal same-sex marriage or that the newspaper felt this worthy of a poll? [The Virginian-Pilot (Hampton Roads)]

* Remember that whole Brian Leiter kerfuffle? Well he’s gone. The world (of philosophy rankings) was not ready for one as beautiful as thee. [Daily Nous] * Before They Were Famous: Newly released documents reveal a pre-SCOTUS Justice Kagan writing memos admitting that she “really f**ked up” and “God, do I feel like an idiot.” At least she understood how she made her 1L class feel when she was a professor. [Josh Blackman's Blog] * A lawsuit over who owns the word “how.” Can’t make this up. [Chronicle of Higher Education] * How do we know that driverless cars are going to be wonderful for human society? Because they will be absolutely horrible for lawyers and insurers. [Legal Funding Central] * This guy explains what everyone should understand before going to law school by walking through his decision to not to go to law school despite gaining admission to some T14 heavies. He gives ATL a shout. We hear you buddy, congratulations on your decision. [Chronicle Vitae] * A Delaware attorney sued for allegedly aiding and abetting a fraudulent emerald salvage operation. Kind of “X marks the disbarment.” [Delaware Online] * Exxon won an arbitration and got $1.6B from cash-strapped Venezuela, but wanted $14.7B. Poor Exxon, they face so many struggles. [Bloomberg h/t Breaking Energy] * The D.C. Bar Association is hosting a “Go Formal For Justice” event to raise many for its many programs to help, directly or indirectly, the indigent. [D.C. Bar Foundation]

* We welcome Howard Bashman to his new homepage! [How Appealing / Above the Law] * An ode to Brian Leiter to the tune of the Beach Boys’ “I Get Around.” [Philosophy Metablog] * “Lawyers have a powerful voice in the American legal system, government, and news and entertainment businesses. But do they make their contributions to society while impaired?” You’re goddamned right we do! [SSRN] * For example, a Louisville lawyer was arrested for allegedly surfing the web while driving drunk. Who says solo practitioners can’t multitask. [WDRB] * Is litigation finance a loan or an investment? Perhaps tax law holds the answer. [LFC 360] * Former St. Louis Mayor Freeman Bosley Jr. had his law license suspended indefinitely. Apparently his trust account was bouncing checks. This suspension has ramifications for a much bigger case — Bosley had been representing Dorian Johnson, an eyewitness to the Michael Brown killing. [Missouri Lawyers Weekly (sub. req.); St. Louis Post-Dispatch] * Hasbro thinks that owning Scrabble means they own the English language. [Slate] * Congratulations to legal communications specialists Infinite PR, who just merged with UK outfit Spada to expand their business across the pond. [PR Week]

Sometimes lawyers are a little too quick to send out cease-and-desist letters.

* New York court authorizes service over Facebook. Finally, a reason to use Google Plus. [Slate] * Texas struck down the statute banning upskirt photos. The decision is more interesting than the sound byte press it’s getting. [Popehat] * Some PR advice may be privileged. Which is good because the law needs to incentivize companies trying to cover up possible legal liabilities. It might be more nuanced than that, but still. [Corporate Counsel] * In the wake of the passing of Tommy Boggs, a profile on his power within Patton Boggs, including details of the final year leading up to its merger. [National Law Journal] * A roundup of early reviews for Supreme Ambitions (affiliate link). [Supreme Ambitions] * On choosing a criminal defense lawyer and why you might not want some reformed prosecutor. [Katz Justice] * The Senate confirmed Gordon Tanner as general counsel to the Air Force. This is noteworthy because it reflects just how quickly the country has progressed from affirmative witch hunts, to “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” to confirming a gay man as the top lawyer for a branch of the Armed Forces. [Washington Blade] * A 49er fan is suing the NFL for $50 million for a policy that limited ticket sales to customers in Seahawks territory. Based on the season so far, he luckily won’t have to worry about the 49ers in the playoffs this year. [ESPN] * Speaking of football, South Park ran an ad limited to D.C. during the Washington-Eagles game. See Eric Cartman school Dan Snyder on trademark law after the jump…. [SB Nation]

* Because it’s been such a long time since the NFL has had a scandal, Cowboys owner Jerry Jones is accused of sexual assault in a new suit. The Cowboys claim the suit is nothing but a money grab. No one knows a money grab like a franchise owner milking a new stadium partially financed by taxpayers. [USAToday] * Dean Frank Wu explains why Hastings will survive the end of law schools. [SF Weekly] * A pair of IP litigators, James W. Dabney and Stephen S. Rabinowitz, have jumped from Fried Frank to Hughes Hubbard. Will others be following Dabney & Rabinowitz out of Fried Frank? [Hughes Hubbard] * “Lawyer’s ‘Torture Porn’ Past Pops Up in Pa. Governor’s Race.” OK, let’s see what you’ve got here. [Greedy Associates / FindLaw] * An interesting breakdown of the legal scholars with the widest network of co-authors. Think of these as the most promiscuous scholars around. Actually, no. Don’t think that. [Ryan Whalen] * Etsy sides with the USPTO and bans sales of anything branded “Redskins” on its platform. I’m not sure how smart this is since the economic teeth of the USPTO decision was to allow sites like Etsy to sell massive quantities of otherwise trademark-infringing stuff until Washington relented and opted for a new trademark-protectable name. [Etsy] * Don’t throw peanut butter in my neighborhood (though I don’t understand the blotter… there’s no Bodega at that location). [Legal Juice] * Lest you think law school is reasonably priced: “New IBR and PSLF provide benefits large enough that high earnings still result in nearly $100,000 in loan forgiveness for typical levels of debt for law school graduates. A lawyer earning at the 50th percentile with that debt level stands to have $147,282 forgiven, which is more than he borrowed…” [New America Education Policy Program] * Keeping in touch with your inner child to relate to witnesses as humans. [Katz Justice] * Closing out this football-heavy NS, friend of the blog Mitchell Epner discusses why Roger Goodell won’t (and shouldn’t) survive the fallout of the Ray Rice scandal. Check out the video after the jump… [CNBC]

* Bob McDonnell, former governor of Virginia, guilty of 11 counts of corruption. Maureen McDonnell guilty of 8. If only they’d gotten that severance motion. [Wonkette] * The best way to catch drunk drivers is to give them something to crash into. [Legal Juice] * Chaumtoli Huq, a former general counsel to the New York […]

Ed. note: Due to the Labor Day holiday, we’re on a reduced publication schedule today. We’ll be back to our normal Saturday schedule tomorrow. But you don't care about that. More importantly we’ll be off on Labor Day and back to normal on Tuesday. A restful and happy Labor Day to all! * Jesus, this Elle Woods fascination just won’t die. [Law School Lemmings] * Lawyers seek to ruin something beautiful: ALS Association wants a trademark on the concept of an ice bucket challenge. [Washington Post] * Ah, fun tales of the Streisand Effect. [Popehat] * UC Davis Law saw increased applications. Dean Kevin Johnson says, “I do think the market is coming back. And I do think the naysayers of law schools and being a lawyer, their days are limited in number.” You’re the only school in California showing an increase and the country as a whole is down and you’re conveniently not charging any application fee, but yeah, our days are limited. [UC Davis Law] * Lawyer who showed up to court going by the name “Lord Harley of Counsel” gets a tongue-lashing from the judge. [Legal Cheek] * Ant-f**king. OK. [Legal Juice]

* This probably goes without saying, but don’t smuggle drugs into prison. This grandpa apparently failed that lesson. [Legal Juice] * Town gets fed up and just sues every single citizen. [Lowering the Bar] * A city lawyer heads out to the country to woo a pretty maid. At least this song gets it right and the lawyer fails. [Legal Cheek] * Some thoughts on trademark law and post-parody fashion, from Professor Charles Colman. [U. Penn Law Review] * Attorneys took different approaches to litigating slavery. Nothing really funny here, it’s just interesting. [The Faculty Lounge] * James Sherwin of SOR Solicitors made this infographic about patents in Europe (and where Ireland fits in). In case you ever wanted to know if Europe’s intellectual property set up is as crazy as America’s. [SOR-Solicitors]

* Suit filed questioning the parentage of Blue Ivy Carter. Plaintiff claims to be the real… mother? Hm. You’d think that would be pretty easy for everyone to remember. [International Business Times] * The Washington D.C.-area NFL team has filed suit to get its trademark back. They think the USPTO are Indian Givers. [DCist] * The ACLU is asking courts to define “freedom of the press” in the wake of Ferguson. I understand their impulse, I just don’t think they’re gonna like the answer. [Fox2Now] * A 71-year-old lawyer allegedly called two escorts over to his house and they asked for more money. Even for rich lawyers it’s the principle of the thing. [South Florida Lawyers] * Sad to see Professor Larry Tribe join the “let’s blame the teachers instead of funding public schools” parade. But now that he’s become a high-profile supporter of ending tenure for those teaching the young, perhaps he’ll renounce his own tenure. Or at least fight to revoke it from all his colleagues. [National Law Journal] * A Colombian lawyer is suing FIFA for $1.3 billion over bad officiating. Of all the things FIFA deserves to get sued over, this isn’t making the list. [Washington Post] * Congratulations to Rob Manfred, a Harvard Law grad formerly of Morgan Lewis, on his promotion to MLB Commissioner. He will continue the proud tradition of keeping us bored all summer long while we wait for football to come back. [New York Times] * New lawsuit says Google kept records of plans to infringe intellectual property… on Post-Its. Unwise. Office supplies are for back-to-school shopping, not writing down wrongful acts. [Valleywag] * If you’re a current 3L or a law grad about to come off a clerkship, NOAA has a job opportunity for you. Imagine how exciting it will be when the next Sharknado happens! [USAJobs via NOAA]

Ain’t life grand as a federal employee?

Stop New York. Just... stop.

Past Disparagement Results in Present Cancellation: REDSKINS Marks Cancelled by TTAB The Trademark Trial and Appeal Board (“TTAB”) cancelled six registrations for marks consisting in whole or in part of the term REDSKINS for use in connection with a professional football team, because the marks were found to be disparaging to Native Americans at the time they were registered (between 1967 and 1990). The Board found that when used in connection with football services, REDSKINS retains the meaning of “Native American.” Videos of football games, newspapers, and press guides created between 1967 and 1990 established that the respondent “made continuous efforts to associate its football services with Native American imagery.”

A few weeks back, Steve discussed Apple’s recent applications to register a trio of non-verbal trademarks. Spoiler alert: This post contains the USPTO’s ultimate decision regarding the registrability of the design and layout of various application icons as part of a computer operating system, using rectangular geometric figures in rows. However, it isn’t a spoiler for Apple’s applications referenced above (those applications have yet to be assigned to an examining attorney). No, instead, I’m referring to a since-abandoned application that provides some interesting contrast with Apple’s applications. In 2012, Microsoft filed an intent-to-use application for the mark shown below:

* “We’re in uncharted waters.” Following a split vote down party lines, the House of Representatives authorized Speaker Boehner to move ahead with his lawsuit against President Obama. [WSJ Law Blog]

* “Vultures! Don’t take our pound of flesh.” Despite last-minute settlement talks, it seems Argentina has defaulted on its debt for the second time in 13 years. Oopsie! [DealBook / New York Times]

* The U.S. Patent and Trademark Office has added 19 additional schools to its law school clinic certification pilot program. IP is hot right now, so congrats if your school made the cut. [USPTO.gov]

* What are some of the pros of working before going to law school? Well, if you can’t get a job after you graduate, you can go back to your old field, so that’s a plus. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News]

* California probate attorneys’ hearts were all aflutter following Shelly Sterling’s win against her husband, specifically because of the new precedents the Clippers case left in its wake. [National Law Journal]

* Seattle City Attorney Pete Holmes took advantage of Washington state law and purchased himself some legal pot yesterday, making him the highest-profile lawyer in the country. [Seattle Post-Intelligencer] * DC Comics blocked plans to build a memorial to a murdered 5-year-old Superman fan dressed in costume. Realizing that this was awful and stupid, they’ve reversed themselves. [Gawker] * New York Justice Roger Barto said he was attacked and beaten with a toilet seat. The police disagree. [WHAM] * Laurence Tribe recounting his experiences with a young Barack Obama. [Fiscal Times] * Remember when Justice Scalia screwed up that decision and quietly edited it hoping we wouldn’t notice? Well the days of the secret editing of SCOTUS opinions are over. [CREW] * The continuing coverage of the Donald Sterling trial: Sterling takes the stand. [mitchell epner] * We talk a lot about work-life balance among lawyers, but we don’t think much about the work-life balance among law professors. [TaxProf Blog] * If you wanted to understand the UK legal market, this infographic is basically “choose your own adventure” for a legal career across the pond. [Gorvins] * What do the former Biglaw Bigshot and Joan Rivers have in common? [Law and More]

Jones Day wanted to intimidate a guy with some dubious legal jargon. He got lawyers and fought back.