Trademarks

* Secrets secrets are no fun, secrets secrets hurt someone: Chief Justice Roberts named two judges to two secret courts. Congrats to Judges Boasberg and Tallman. [Legal Times]

* Bankruptcy just got a lot more fabulous. AG Eric Holder announced that the government would extend recognition of same-sex couples in federal legal matters. [New York Times]

* With reports of firms’ financials beginning to trickle out, partners are getting anxious. No one wants to be the next Dewey — or the next Gregory Owens. [Am Law Daily]

* This is the second year in a row that Greenberg Traurig has posted financial declines. Perhaps the firm started its lower pay, non-partner track residency program for a reason. Something to think about. [Daily Business Review]

* “It’s our duty as partners to help.” Law students articling at the recently dissolved Heenan Blaikie are learning a lesson in Canadian collegiality. The firm is trying to help them get new jobs. [Montreal Gazette]

* Speaking of Heenan Blaikie, we’re hearing chatter that the firm’s talks with DLA Piper may be in trouble. HB says the talks they’re off, but DLA says they’re ongoing. Hmm, that sounds dramatic. [WSJ Law Blog]

* “It’s a very L.A. thing. We’ll see how long it lasts.” If you had to choose, you’d probably go to Dumb Starbucks over Starbucks. Order a Dumb Frappuccino before they get a C&D letter. [Los Angeles Times]

* The Phoenix Coyotes plan to change their name to the Arizona Coyotes. They probably should have looked into whether or not someone had trademarked “Arizona Coyotes.” I don’t care about their name as long as they go back to their awesome original sweaters. [The Legal Blitz] * As expected, Mayor Bill De Blasio has dropped New York City's appeal of the stop-and-frisk case. [New York Times] * As we discussed this morning, Eric Holder had to make a decision on whether or not to pursue the death penalty in the Boston Bomber case. Well, he made it. [CNN] * No, getting mocked on late night TV is not the same as torture or the mass extermination of human beings. [Popehat] * What happens when 16 children’s book characters are sent to court? [Visual.ly] * Here are 5 quick tips to employ when preparing for the bar exam. [BigLaw Rebel] * Prosecutors aren’t all out to get your client. You need to read the signals to figure out when they’re willing to help. [Katz Justice] * Unlocking your phone is still a crime. It’s almost as though Congress was deliberately obstructionist on every issue for a whole year. Weird. [Politix] * Ever wonder how to make the transition from law school to journalist? Here’s one answer from across the pond. [Legal Cheek]

Which "out of control" celebrity just got super-snarky in responding to a cease and desist letter?

* “Either access to abortion will be dramatically restricted in the coming year or perhaps the pushback will begin.” We’re moving back in history. Here’s hoping pro-choice advocacy will be born anew in 2014. [New York Times] * George S. Canellos, the SEC’s co-chief of enforcement, announced his departure on Friday, and people are already wondering whether he’ll return to his old stomping grounds at Milbank Tweed. [DealBook / New York Times] * We hope legal educators had fun at the Association of American Law Schools annual meeting, but we hope most of all that they learned what needs to change to really make legal education pay. [WSJ Law Blog] * “I believe women lawyers can contribute a lot to the legal system.” Saudi Arabia now has its first female law firm dedicated to bringing women’s issues to the country’s patriarchal courts. Congratulations! [RT] * A Starbucks spokeswoman issued a defense to the cease-and-desist response letter that went viral worldwide, and it reads just like how her company’s coffee tastes: bland. [International Business Times] * Amy “Tiger Mom” Chua is back with a vengeance, co-authoring a controversial new book (affiliate link) with her husband, Jed Rubenfeld. Which cultural groups are superior? [New York Post]

Backing an adversary against the wall can be fun, but can backfire spectacularly.

An AMAZING response to a cease and desist letter. You must read this.

* The DOJ is looking to retry an accused Somali pirate. They’re totally on top of piracy as long as it doesn’t take place here. [The Blog of the Legal Times] * Yesterday we posted our holiday tipping thread, heavily citing Corporette’s Kat Griffin. Now she’s posted her own guide and we’re linking to it. It’s like Inception up in here. [Corporette] * Why fashion gets knocked off: delving into the world of design patents and trade dress. [Fashionista] * Comparing the modern NSA to the intelligence-gathering techniques employed during the American Revolution. Interesting stuff, but a total cover-up job. Where’s the discussion of Ben Franklin’s “electric kite drones,” eh? You must think we’re pretty naïve, Logan Beirne. [Fox News] * Incredibly sad, but also incredibly fascinating: if a child is rendered brain dead by a possible medical mistake, should the state honor the wishes of the family to keep the kid on life support even though every day on life support makes an investigation into the cause of death harder? [CNN] * Loyola University Chicago introduces a new curriculum to give students an opportunity to get real-world experience with a judge or practicing lawyer before graduating. A law school focusing on training lawyers to be lawyers? This isn’t all that surprising when you look back at Dean Yellen’s previous work. [Loyola University Chicago] * Congratulations to Therese Pritchard on her election as the first female chair of Bryan Cave. We’re big fans… until you fail to leak your bonus memo to us first. The ball’s in your court now Pritchard. [WSJ Law Blog] * The venerable Green Bag is parting ways with GMU Law. Thankfully, it has already found a new home. [PrawfsBlawg] * Former White House attorney John Michael Farren who we reported on a lot in the past about beating his wife nearly to death… was found liable for beating his wife nearly to death. So that happened. [News Times]

* Beware of “affluenza” — the condition where rich kids believe that their wealth shields them from consequences. One kid with affluenza was convicted of four counts of manslaughter and got… probation. Great way to teach him that there are consequences. I don’t doubt being a hyper-privileged douche contributed to his criminal behavior, but let’s see if the judge is equally lenient to the next kid in this courtroom who argues that poverty contributed to his crimes. [Gawker] * In America people complain about law reviews sharing outlines for free. In the U.K., they’re selling notes on eBay. If you’re buying notes off the Internet, perhaps law school isn’t your bag. [Legal Cheek] * Do Twitter mentions reflect the scholarly significance of a professor’s articles? No. [TaxProf Blog] * Here's some terrifying stuff that lawyers want for Christmas. It's not quite our gift guide. [The Spark File] * The word "spin" is apparently trademarked. This is the company that did it and enforces its trademark against gyms with uncertified spin classes. [Racked] * Law school applications are in free fall. Too bad all these people are going to miss out on that sweet $1 million law degree. [Lawyers, Guns & Money] * Mental health remains a seriously undiscussed problem in the legal industry. [Law and More] * TSA now confiscating prop guns off stuffed animals. [Lowering the Bar] * A Chinese law professor lost his job for writing an article advocating constitutional rule. If you think this is a harsh response, remember this government used to throw tanks at people over less. [Washington Post] * Speaking of China, next month the CBLA is hosting a panel discussion about the expanded use of the FCPA, specifically with regard to China. [CBLA]

Violate their intellectual property rights, and you'll have Hells Angels to pay.

* Tim Tebow’s trademark will become invalid if “Tebowing” is not used in commerce. That might suck for him, but right about now Tim Tebow should be more concerned about whether “Tim Tebow” is going to be used in commerce. [The Official Review] * Law school groups take to Facebook to advertise a panel on […]

Companies should recognize when complaining is worse than just letting it go.

* In 1967, Hunter S. Thompson explored the wild and crazy world of the Hell’s Angels. In 2008, FX premiered Sons of Anarchy. In 2013, the Hell’s Angels are filing intellectual property suits. Hard. F**king. Core. [Houston Chronicle] * Who’s your favorite Disney princess? I’d say RBG. [Women You Should Know] * Some folks are scared that recent FERC settlements are too aggressive and could “unravel the entire power market.” That’s either hyperbole or the scariest thing in the universe ever. [Breaking Energy] Loyola Law School started a fashion law program to serve this burgeoning industry. Pretty interesting stuff. And if you want to meet Staci Riordan, the woman responsible for setting up this program, join our Staci Zaretsky in L.A. on November 12, when she hosts a panel of fashion law experts including Riordan . It’s dueling Stacis! [Fashionista] * The discriminating woman’s guide to buying pearls. I figured y’all just pulled identical necklaces out of a drawer like Marge Simpson. [Corporette] * In cases of sex abuse, the expert witness is incredibly important. [The Expert Institute] * Here’s a look at what may be next for Judge Scheindlin, who gave interviews revealing her bias because she said stuff like the government is not entitled to deference and should be forced to make its case. Oh my God, IMPEACH!!! [Ramblings on Appeal] * Speaking of Judge Scheindlin, Elie was on HuffPo Live today discussing the ruling. Video embedded after the jump (around 11:08)….

Are the Boston Red Sox facing possible litigation over their World Series beards?

* Stop bullying the judges on the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court. They don’t cave to just any government data request — they make changes to about 25 percent of them. But uh… they don’t like to talk about the other 75 percent. [Bloomberg] * Everything’s bigger in Texas, including the number of Biglaw firms with […]

When a client goes rogue in the media, most lawyers would back him. This one calls him out.

* You skip over the footnotes when you’re reading for class, but Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg doesn’t think you should. She’s a proponent of the most important footnote in all of constitutional law. [New Yorker]

* New York will modify its pro bono requirement for LL.M. students to allow public service completed outside the country. Well, so much for closing the state’s justice gap. [New York Law Journal (sub. req.)]

* Everything’s bigger in Texas, including the government-initiated trademark infringement actions over “Don’t Mess With Texas.” Like “I <3 NY," the Lone Star State's slogans are off limits. [New York Times] * WUSTL Law Dean Kent Syverud didn’t mind advocating for halving professors’ salaries. He just stepped down to become Syracuse University’s president — for much higher pay. [National Law Journal (sub. req.)] * You can sue Lady Gaga for overtime pay all you want, but you do not want to face her wrath. The pop star is due in court in early November where she’ll tell a judge “exactly what f**king happened.” [Daily Mail]

They may not be able to pass a budget, but they can give easily abused special rights to the Boy Scouts.

New York threatens model train company with a trademark suit. Model train company fights back.

* Zynga is suing the makers of Bang With Friends alleging that the latter chose its name to take advantage of market confusion with Words With Friends. To remedy the suit, the app is considering a name change to “Bangville” which actually works better because Bang With Friends is all about pathetically bothering everyone on Facebook to give you something you can’t go out and get yourself. [BBC] * Ariel Castro gave some testimony. It was crazy. Enjoy! [Jezebel] * A comprehensive legal analysis of Better Off Dead. Spoiler alert: the Paperboy was a penal code violating machine. [The Legal Geeks] * 10 Things Only Someone Who’s Taken the Bar Exam Would Know [Policy Mic] * Just where is the FISA Court? 10 points to Gryffindor for the “Room of Requirement” reference. [Konklone] * The NBA luxury tax is supposed to help parity. So why doesn’t it? [The Legal Blitz] * Brutally honest Craigslist ad for temp document review work. This will probably come down at some point, so the ad is reproduced after the jump…

* Sorry ladies, but Seth Meyers is now engaged. To a lawyer of all people. Alexi Ashe of AC Investment Management graduated from Southwestern University School of Law and previously worked at the King’s County District Attorney’s Office, Human Rights First, and the Somaly Mam Foundation. [Gawker] * A D.C. law firm is giving away its law library. An unscrupulous law school could bolster its U.S. News ranking because they count the number of volumes in law libraries even though no one has used a bound legal reporter in a decade. [Constitutional Daily] * “But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks? And does it rise to the level of nuisance?” Just one gem over on this Tumblr. [Shakespeare Takes the Bar Exam] * The Ohio Supreme Court may hear a speeding ticket case because there are no more pressing issues in Ohio. [USA Today] * Pharrell is suing will.i.am because the latter seems to think he owns a trademark in every sentence with “I am” in it. And Pharrell quotes from noted legal authority Dr. Seuss. [Jezebel] * Does Dwight Howard’s decision to sign with the Rockets highlight how state taxes pose a hidden threat to league parity? [TaxProf Blog] * Still hankering for Supreme Court discussion? Here’s a thorough roundtable examination of the previous term. [Construction Magazine] * Have a good legal-themed short fiction idea? Enter the ABA Journal’s Ross Writing Contest and you could win $3,000. [ABA Journal]