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  • Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 10.28.15

    * In September, Fox News anchor Harris Faulkner sued Hasbro over a toy hamster named Harris Faulker, claiming it violated her likeness rights. Hasbro has moved to dismiss the suit by providing a judge with side-by-side photos and a snark-filled filing. [THR, Esq. / Hollywood Reporter]

    * Per Gawker’s GC Heather Dietrick, it’s “more likely than not” that the media empire will lose in Hulk Hogan’s case over the release of his sex tape. She doesn’t think it’s likely, however, that the wrestler will get the $100 million in damages he’s seeking. [POLITICO]

    * It’s time for a ride at the regulatory rodeo, because for the first time in more than 20 years, the U.S. Nuclear Regulatory Commission has issued a new operating license for a nuclear power plant. Say hello to Watts Bar Unit 2 in Spring City, Tennessee. [The Verge]

    * We mentioned previously that when Apple refused to unlock a defendant’s iPhone for the DOJ, a federal judge wasn’t sure if he had the legal authority to order Apple to do so. As it turns out, Apple’s EULA gives the government the perfect loophole. [Simple Justice]

    * In case you missed it last week (we did), LegalZoom has settled its $10.5 million antitrust lawsuit against the North Carolina State Bar. The online legal documentation company will now vet all of its documents with lawyers from North Carolina. [ABA Journal]

    * Breaking Media Editor at Large Elie Mystal appeared on The Docket to defend sex offenders’ civil rights on Halloween. His Darth Vader costume is worth seeing. [MSNBC]

  • Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 10.27.15

    * The Cincinnati Bengals reached a $255K settlement with their cheerleaders in a wage-and-hour suit. Each Ben-Gal stands to receive at least $2,500. Hmm, maybe they needed better lawyers who could BE AGGRESSIVE! B-E AGGRESSIVE! B-E A-G-G-R-E-S-S-I-V-E! [CBS News]

    * Biglaw leaders think that first-year associates are likely to be replaced by robots within 10 years. Some even think that second- and third-year associates could be replaced by artificial intelligence. Damn, no wonder NY to $190 is still a pipedream. [Ars Technica via Am Law Daily]

    * “What you’re asking them to do is do work for you.” Despite the fact that the cellphone was seized in an investigation, this federal magistrate judge says that he isn’t quite sure if he has the legal authority to compel Apple to access data on a locked iPhone. [Reuters]

    * Justice waits for no one, except this defendant who allegedly murdered her 19-month-old daughter in 2010. After her trial was rescheduled for the 18th time, a judge finally decided he’d had enough: “Anything following this will be a trial or dismissal.” [WSJ Law Blog]

    * If you’re trying to get into to law school, there’s no need to wait for your fall semester grades before you send off your applications. A pulse and the ability to sign federal loan documents are all that you’ll need. [Law School Lowdown / U.S. News & World Report]

  • Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 10.22.15

    * Brush that dirt off your shoulder: Jay-Z may have 99 problems, but this copyright lawsuit about his song “Big Pimpin'” is no longer one of them. The suit filed against the rap mogul in 2007 was dismissed on standing grounds, but the plaintiff says he plans to appeal. [Los Angeles Times]

    * When it comes to the death penalty, Justice Antonin Scalia says that it “wouldn’t surprise [him]” if the Supreme Court were to strike it down as unconstitutional. It seems that a capital punishment case could become the next SCOTUS blockbuster. [CBS Minnesota]

    * No one is a fan of the Securities and Exchange Commission’s in-house court system, and legislation to give financial defendants the right to opt out will be introduced in Congress later this week. Would you rather face trial before a federal judge or jury? [WSJ Law Blog]

    * Earlier this week, a state-court judge brought a live grenade to the courthouse, but only because he wanted to have it properly disposed of by police. The jurist currently remains unidentified, which is a good thing, because this is pretty embarrassing. [CBS Los Angeles]

    * Jurors in New York are paid $40 per day for their service, so you may be wondering how the confused members of the jury in the Dewey & LeBoeuf (mis)trial were able to survive on only $2,920 after five months spent in the courtroom. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg]

  • Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 10.21.15

    * Arizona Summit Law wasn’t the only law school to post an embarrassing passage rate on the July 2015 administration of the bar exam. Only 28 percent of test-takers from this law school passed, but its dean says that the scores don’t “reflect a problem with the school’s quality.” Hey, whatever helps you get to sleep at night. [Tennessean]

    * Speaking of bar passage rates, if you’re applying to law school, should you care about them? Job statistics are probably a more telling measurement when comparing schools, but then again, it’s harder to get a job when you can’t pass the bar exam. [U.S. News]

    * “It’s a huge blow to his tenure as DA.” The mistrial in the criminal case against Dewey & LeBoeuf’s former executives is putting a major damper on what was supposed to be Manhattan DA Cy Vance’s crackdown on corporate crime. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg]

    * Thanks to the Department of Education’s “gainful employment rule,” for-profit law schools could be in trouble when it comes to eligibility for federal student loans under the “debt-to-earnings” test. This certainly may put a crimp in Infilaw’s style. [Huffington Post]

    * The vast majority of all class members in the Subway “footlong” lawsuit aren’t likely to see a dime. This is fine because they don’t need to see any “dough,” but a guarantee that the company’s next spokesperson won’t be a child predator would be nice. [WSJ Law Blog]

  • Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 10.19.15

    * After a recent vote, the Florida Bar flat-out rejected a supposedly “controversial” proposal for bar reciprocity. Attorneys in the Sunshine State absolutely, positively do NOT want you practicing law there if you haven’t taken the Florida bar. [WSJ Law Blog]

    * Tomorrow, Oscar Pistorius will be released from prison after having only served a fifth of a five-year sentence for killing his girlfriend, a law school graduate. He’ll begin a stint of house arrest, and he’s not allowed to have guns there… for very obvious reasons. [UPI]

    * The case of the missing mistrial? After four weeks of deliberation, and after having acquitted the defendants of a slew of lesser charges, the jury in the criminal trial against the ex-execs of Dewey & LeBoeuf will enter a new month without a full verdict. [Reuters]

    * The Nebraska Legislature voted to abolish the death penalty in the state, but supporters of capital punishment have forced a November 2016 referendum vote instead. Not to worry, “[n]obody’s going to be executed in Nebraska anytime soon.” [New York Times]

    * This week, Connecticut’s Appellate Court will hear cases at the state’s most famous — and most prestigious — law school. Don’t get too excited, Yalies, because this has nothing to do with you. In fact, you’ve probably never even heard of this place. [Associated Press]