United Kingdom / Great Britain

Inside Straight: A Native’s View Of London

By Mark Herrmann

I’ve been living in London for almost three months now, so it’s time to declare myself a native. What do natives know about the City?

First: Dryer technology is apparently too tricky for this country. Listen, chaps: A dryer is supposed to dry your clothes.

These folks don’t get it. They’ve invented a washer/dryer thingy: You put your clothes in the machine, press some buttons, and the machine washes your clothes. Without moving your clothes, you then push some more buttons, and the machine spins and makes some noise. At the end of the so-called “dry cycle,” you remove your clothes from the washer/dryer thingy and hang your clothes in the living room to dry.

The United Kingdom is one of eight countries in the world that has successfully detonated a nuclear weapon, but these boys can’t crack dryer technology? What’s up with that?

Hey, maybe that’s an answer! Nuke the friggin’ clothes! They might come out a tad radioactive, but at least they’d be dry, and they wouldn’t be hanging in my living room. Or maybe you could import some dryers from the United States: We’ve got a bunch that work, and we could use the export business.

But dryers are the least of it . . . .

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Politics Gangnam Style, Or Why Lawyers Shouldn’t Dance

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If you’ve been fortunate enough to have power for the last couple of days, by now you’ve probably heard the one about how, if Gangnam Style is a rain dance, we brought Hurricane Sandy upon ourselves. While the identity of the joke’s creator is disputed, its premise can’t be denied.

Gangnam Style is everywhere. Even my parents know what it is, thanks to Dancing With the Stars (sorry if you’re now struggling to scrub that image of Kirstie Alley out of your brain). It’s precisely this sort of over-exposure that makes the younger generations cringe.

Why? Because of that seemingly impulsive need triggered in the middle-aged brain to imitate whatever the kids are doing these days. I guess it was only a matter of time until politicians jumped on the Gangnam Style bandwagon. We now even have our first official campaign ad featuring the dance, courtesy of a judge in Michigan.

So, in honor of the recent Halloween holiday and all things scary, and as a much-needed break from endless hurricane coverage, I give you the following clips of supposedly respectable adults dancing to K-pop. Enjoy, if you dare….

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British Court Says Apple Is Way Cooler Than Samsung;
But Coolness ≠ IP Infringement

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Well, clearly, the biggest technology news today is that Mark Zuckerberg bought a home in the second hippest neighborhood in the country. This means we’re neighbors, and it means I’ll probably have to move soon because my rent will probably double by dinnertime.

Other than that, the global Apple v. Samsung battle royal continues. This week, a British appellate court ruled on the European incarnation of the case. So what’s the score between these tech titans?

Thus far, Apple has done alright in the U.S., but not so much in Japan. And now, let’s just say our European brethren may like Apple products as much as the rest of us, but they don’t worship at the altar of holy rounded corners as devoutly as Americans….

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Inside Straight: London Partners Can’t Afford Homes . . .

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I told careful readers six months ago that I would soon be moving to London. I made the move on September 1, and here’s the local news:

Senior partners at major London law firms can’t afford to live!

Well, not quite: But senior partners at many major London law firms can’t afford to live in London itself.

I recently had lunch with — prepare yourself — a senior partner at a major London law firm. When I told him where I was now living, he said that it was nice that my commute would be so short:

“Twenty years ago, the senior partners at most big law firms lived in London. But today, unless you have inherited wealth or bought your home long ago, most senior partners at London firms can’t afford to live anywhere near the City. Partner pay just won’t cover the cost.”

As an expatriate American, this startled me: I’m confident there’s no American city where senior partners at major law firms can’t afford local real estate. But in London, this has the ring of truth to it. From an American’s perspective, everything in London is nauseatingly expensive (or “quite dear,” as the locals so quaintly put it). But the cost of housing goes far beyond “nauseatingly expensive”; it’s eye-poppingly, grab-your-chest-and-drop-to-the-ground, out of sight. It leaves partner pay in the dust. Here’s what I mean . . . .

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Non-Sequiturs: 10.09.12

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Talk about bad romance.

* Can we please fill this Facebook pay-for-posts rabbit hole with cement, ASAP? Then let’s grow a forest on top of the cement, and then napalm the whole thing for good measure. [Not-So Private Parts / Forbes]

* In America, law school dropouts turn to aggressive blogging. In Syria, they join the rebel army. [LA Times]

* A U.S. judge upholds the government’s indictment of Kim Dotcom and Megaupload, despite the whole “they’re based in another hemisphere” snag. The only tricky part is getting him here. [Ars Technica]

* This insane wedding ended with a dead uncle, a relative in jail, and several dozen cops on the scene. I”ll bet ten-to-one Zach Galifianakis was somewhere nearby. [Dealbreaker]

* Hello, Jimmy, welcome to the Pleasantville Middle School Scrapbooking Club! We’re so glad to have you. But, first, could you please pee in this cup? [Overlawyered]

* This is an amusing video of British law students sucking up to William and Kate. More importantly, a reminder that Kate is gorgeous, even when she is unpixelated and wearing clothes. [Legal Cheek]

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Non-Sequiturs: 10.08.12

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Chief Justice Roberts: he ain’t evolving.

* In light of Chief Justice Roberts’s historic vote to uphold Obamacare, should we expect JGR to be more liberal going forward? According to Jeffrey Toobin, author of The Oath (affiliate link), “Do not expect a new John Roberts. Expect the conservative he has always been.” [Talking Points Memo via How Appealing]

* Law firm staff layoffs: they’re not just an American thing. Slaughter and May is dropping the ax on 28 secretaries. [Roll On Friday]

* “[A]ny robot or high school graduate can calculate numbers in a matrix to arrive at the highest possible sentence. But it takes a Judge — a man or woman tempered by experience in life and law — to properly judge another human being’s transgressions.” [Justice Building Blog]

* Professor Dershowitz’s $4 million Cambridge mansion? Robert Wenzel is not impressed: “if I lived in that house, I would want to attack Iran and most of the rest of the world, also.” [Economic Policy Journal]

* A man sues a strip club, alleging that a stripper ruptured his bladder when she slid down a pole and onto his abdomen. Ouch. [Legally Weird / Findlaw]

* Still on the subject of Torts, two attractive blonde sisters walk into a bar — and discuss who can be held liable if a man suffers a heart attack during a threesome. Video after the jump….

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Law Firm Buys Fake Twitter Followers, Public Mockery Included at No Charge

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One of the best and worst things about modern social media is the ability to know exactly how many followers or Facebook “likes” you, your friends, your competitors, and your enemies have. It’s useful to be able to rank yourself among other people, but it’s not hard to get overly concerned with boosting your stats. But metrics quickly become muddled when one realizes the mere “following” numbers are not totally transparent.

Case in point: a midsize law firm was publicly called out for some sketchy Tweetness, now the firm is learning the hard way that not all Twitter followers are created equal…

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Abandon The Wedding Ship — And Then Set Fire to the Lifeboats!

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Mawwiage. Mawwiage is what bwings us together todaaay.

Today we have news about the marriage of a lawyerly power couple, or at least news about the charred, tattered remnants of what the marriage once was. This extraordinarily dysfunctional ex-couple got chastised by a judge for nuking not only their sacred union but most of their considerable wealth in the process.

We know all’s fair in love and war. I guess that includes seppuku, but I’m not sure it’s really the most effective strategy…

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Judge Orders Tabloid to Hand Over Topless Kate Middleton Pics; Rest of Internet Laughs and Right-Clicks ‘Save Image As’

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Well, that didn’t take long. Those topless sunbathing pics of Kate Middleton only went up a few days ago, and a French court has already slapped the offending tabloid around a little. A judge has sided with the royals and ordered Closer to fork over the pics and a little bit of cash for causing everyone the trouble.

Thank goodness privacy and a sense of old-world decorum have been restored. Except not quite, owing to this little thing called the internet…

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Morning Docket: 09.17.12

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Kate Middleton

* Come on, people, Dewey really think that it’s fair that these proposed partnership clawback settlements blame only us for the firm’s implosion? The Steves and ex-CFO Joel Sanders don’t think so. [Bloomberg]

* “[E]ven if partners’ capital contributions were used to repay Dewey’s indebtedness—so what?” Well, that’s certainly one way to defend a suit alleging Citibank’s participation in a Ponzi-like scheme. [Am Law Daily]

* A $280K bonus sure seems nice, but do all Supreme Court clerks choose life in Biglaw once they’ve completed their stints at the high court? As it turns out, the answer is no — some view the money as “golden handcuffs.” [Wall Street Journal]

* Because nobody can ogle these crown jewels except Prince William: the royals’ potential suit against Closer magazine over topless pics of Kate Middleton has turned into full-blown privacy proceeding. [New York Times]

* If you’re struggling in law school, it may be wise to take some advice from those who’ve been there before you, like SullCrom’s Rodge Cohen, or the Ninth Circuit’s Chief Judge Alex Kozinski. [National Law Journal]

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