Urination

Contract attorney heaven.

Earlier this week, we took a look at a contract attorney project in D.C. that has been making the contractors sad. I mean more sad than normal.

We received a lot of actually interesting comments (!) in the thread after the story, as well as emails giving us more details about the project. It appears that the staffing firm, Compliance, has taken some steps to ameliorate the poor working conditions for the contract attorneys. It also looks like the working conditions could actually be improved if they dropped a Port-a-Potty in the middle of the conference room.

But it’s not all bad. Sometimes speaking out can lead to improved working conditions. Let’s take another look at how the other half lives, and you know, scare the bejesus out of 2Ls doing OCI right now who are really hoping to get jobs….

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Did anybody else around my age first learn about bidets from Crocodile Dundee?

The Yale Law School Wall is consistently one of the best listservs in all of law school. Only the Michigan Law listserv can compete.

Today, the Yale Wall brings us a fun story of Yalies intellectualizing the etiquette of… picking a urinal to pee in.

In fairness, urinal etiquette is an important issue. It’s just that most guys kind of figure it out on their own.

But at Yale Law, there are no stupid questions. And it’s a very liberal, gender-neutral place. We know that because not only are urinal questions being asked on the listserv, the guy asking the question is seeking advice from a girl….

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* “We can’t engage the public in a seminar about health law.” Justice Sonia Sotomayor informed the public at Penn Law that she would not be taking up a post as a Wise Latina civics instructor. [Wall Street Journal]

* Next on Meltdown with Keith Olbermann: this liberal commentator has sued Current TV over getting fired. It is clearly the most irresponsible, homophobic, racist, reactionary, tea-bagging network ever. [Businessweek]

* George Zimmerman has added another lawyer to his soon-to-be defense team — a “veteran criminal defense” lawyer. Why did he need to hire such a hot shot if what he did to Trayvon Martin was legal? [Reuters]

* Step aside TSA: what kinds of rights do cruise passengers have at sea? How about the right not to be interrogated, strip searched, and then forced to pee in front of security guards? [Overhead Bin / MSNBC]

* Jordan Wallick has been convicted of second degree murder in the shooting death of James Wallmuth III, a University of Pittsburgh law student. Wallick is now looking at life behind bars for his crime. [CBS 21 News]

Is peeing on somebody’s dead body a war crime? What about peeing on their grave? What about an important monument? As I’ve spoken about before, one of my life’s goals is to pee in every river that was important to the Confederacy. If I relieve myself in the Chickamauga, can a true son of the Cumberland bring me up in front of a war crimes tribunal?

The video of those American Marines urinating on dead Afghan bodies is so disturbing that it somehow demands a legal response. Mitt Romney might never want to “apologize” for America, but maybe that’s just because he’s used to being able to metaphorically urinate on those hoping some of his wealth trickles down.

And yet — 1Ls, say it with me — “most of international law does not exist.” Aside from whatever punishment the United States Marine Corps wants to impose on these guys, there isn’t a whole lot the international community can do to punish them.

Unless we want to call urinating on somebody a “war crime.” But is punishing some jackasses worth diluting the term?

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Welcome, William and Mary law students!

Virginia is for Lovers, not Partiers. Law students in the Old Dominion State are not as much fun as we thought they were.

We recently wrote about a law school party — called the “Fall From Grace,” aptly enough — that supposedly spiraled out of control. According to an email from the Student Bar Association (SBA) at William and Mary School of Law, the raucous event featured law students “urinating on the bathroom floor, breaking a toilet paper dispenser, knocking over a flower pot, and engaging in inappropriate behavior” at the Williamsburg Crowne Plaza. This supposedly culminated in the Crowne Plaza calling W&M Dean Davison Douglas “to inform him that the law school is no longer welcome at the hotel.”

But now we’re hearing that this incident has been overblown, and that the law school has not been banned from the high-end Holiday Inn at Fort Magruder….

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Taylor Swift

* Snowtober was a treat for some, but a trick for many more. Let us know how your firm is handling this Halloween horror. Email us or send a text to (646) 820-TIPS. [Reuters]

* Will the legal profession continue to be a slave to ethical rules of the past? Only if lawyers can’t profit from it. And if they can, then say hello to an ABA resolution in 2012. [New York Times]

* Pot trafficker: add this one to the list of career alternatives for attorneys that aren’t working out so well. But if you don’t mind giving up your Benz and getting disbarred, then go for it. [Times Union]

* Yo Taylor, I’m really happy for you, I’mma let you finish, but Beyoncé had one of the best topless trademark lawsuits of all time. One of the best topless trademark lawsuits of all time! [Daily Mail]

* Urine trouble, lady. Here’s some proof that next time things aren’t going your way in court, you should try peeing all over yourself. [New York Post]

I bet William and Mary Law students are still allowed to party in Colonial Williamsburg.

It’s been a while since we had a story about an entire law school student body getting banned forever from a party venue. I think maybe the last school law to have this public shame was Tulane? I know things got pretty crazy at the UC Davis Law “prom” last year, but they didn’t get banned from anywhere.

But apparently neither of these schools has anything on the law students at William and Mary. According to the school’s Student Bar Association, the conduct of the students has been so disorderly that they’re running out of places in Williamsburg willing to host law school events.

Man, I guess you can see why a lady like Laura Flippin (she of the alleged .253 BAC) is on the William and Mary Board of Visitors….

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We always appreciate when our readers send us tips about the seemingly endless supply of crazy lawyer websites and advertisements that are floating around in cyberspace. Just when we thought we’d seen it all, someone out there goes and raises the bar of craziness.

When we received a tip pointing us to the website of Barry Glazer in Baltimore, we actually thought it might be fake. Honestly, it almost seemed too ridiculous to be true.

Fortunately for all of us, Barry Glazer is quite real. Apparently his TV commercials have made him something of a legend in the Baltimore area, and not without good reason. One look at Mr. Glazer’s tagline tells us that we’re not dealing with your average lawyer:

“Legal advocate for the injured, disabled, and urinated upon”

Yes, you read that right. For four decades, Barry Glazer has been mounting a one-man crusade against insurance companies. In keeping with what appears to be a urine fixation on Mr. Glazer’s part, many of his ads deliver a simple message to these companies:

“Don’t urinate on my leg and tell me it’s raining.”

These pee-centric statements are just the tip of the iceberg that is the eccentricity of Barry Glazer. If nothing else, he is certainly the most interesting lawyer you’ll encounter all day.

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Mommy, have you seen my Hot Wheels car?

* Trademarks, and textiles, and taboos, oh my! Take a look into the fabulous world of fashion law with Charles Colman of Law of Fashion. [Professionelle]

* When you make stock market bets on SCOTUS outcomes, you better have a lot of money to throw around. Luckily, Ted Frank has plenty. [Point of Law]

* Jackass star Ryan Dunn passed away yesterday, which is sad. While normal people mourn the man who shoved a toy car up his butt, lawyers think up ways to assign liability. [Litigation & Trial]

* A J.D. is apparently still worth all of the debt associated with it because… why? Given that landing a job right now is about as easy as nailing jelly to a tree, how is this profession worth the debt? [Kiplinger]

* The blogs of the Am Law 100 have grown a lot this year, from 126 blogs to a whopping 269. Some firms are blogging duds, but I guess they’re busy making money. [Marketing Strategy and the Law]

* It may be better to be pissed off than pissed on, but getting peed on is apparently a natural step in professional development. [An Associate's Mind]

* Attorneys fall into one of three categories when it comes to the iPad: you got one; you want one; or your firm got one for you. Here are some lawyerly apps for you to play with. [Law Degree]

* David J. Stern, the dethroned Florida foreclosure king, will now have to go up against the Florida Bar. Too bad he can’t robo-produce all of the documents they want. [Fort Lauderdale Examiner]

* Peeing on a colleague’s door might have been a great prank in college, but as a professional it’s just sad. Enjoy that $35K bench warrant. [TaxProf Blog]

* Male lawyers work hard and then get a bad rap for not spending more time with their families. Men, do you care more about work/life balance or making money? [The Careerist]

* You can get suspended for doing in law school what transactional attorneys do in real life: borrow from forms. No harm, no foul, because the school recently lost its accreditation. [ABA Journal]

* Folks, it just became a little easier for your clients to buy you dinner. Now all you have to do is press a button, and food will appear. [Gizmodo]

* Dr. and Mrs. Viswanathan — parents of Kaavya Viswanathan, the high-profile Georgetown law student and S&C summer associate — RIP. [New Jersey Newsroom]

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