Warren Jeffs

* Statistically speaking, with its current line up, the Supreme Court is the most conservative that it’s been since the 1930s. This chart makes even Justice Kennedy look conservative. [FiveThirtyEight / New York Times]

* And another one gone, and another one gone, another one bites the dust: earlier this week, Dewey lost an antitrust partner to Arent Fox. That brings the firm’s grand total of partner defections to 38. [Am Law Daily]

* Jerry Sandusky’s trial has been postponed until June to due to “logistical contingencies” — like a motion to dismiss all of his child sex abuse charges. Meh, it’s no big deal. Same verdict, different day. [Bloomberg]

* And on a similar note, Warren Jeffs tried — and failed — to appeal his child sex abuse conviction. Because apparently that’s what happens when you represent yourself in the hopes of overturning a life sentence. [CNN]

* Lindsay Lohan’s supervised probation has ended, and for the time being, her legal woes are over. When will she screw up again? I’m going to give her three months, and that’s being really generous. [Daily Telegraph]

Aaron Tobey

* A judge will soon rule in the Aaron Tobey case. If you don’t remember, he’s the kid who stripped at the airport to protest the TSA. Because that wasn’t going to cause a scene. [Washington Post]

* Diallo plans to introduce evidence of DSK’s alleged global history of sexual assaults at trial. The man’s got money — he can’t help it if he’s got hoes in different area codes. [Thomson Reuters]

* And speaking of hoes, if you’re convicted of soliciting backdoor deals in Louisiana, you’ll have to register as a sex offender. Is that constitutional? [Beaumont Enterprise]

* Louboutin is seeing red after losing to YSL. I guess I can stop hoping to own a pair of Louboutins, since everyone and their mother will have red-soled shoes in the future. [Hollywood Reporter]

Warren Jeffs

* Zàijiàn, Aggarwal! K&L Gates is suing a former partner, Navin Kumar Aggarwal, for breach of trust after he was arrested for theft and forgery. [Bloomberg]

* Widener Law Professor Lawrence Connell will be suing the school for $1.8M over a psych evaluation. He must be crazy for daring to defend himself in an email to students. [NBC Philadelphia]

* God gave him life, and so did the jury. Poor Warren Jeffs must be bored in jail. This polygamist pedo has been beating the bishop up to 15 times a day. Ouch. [The Daily]

* A jury found Warren Jeffs guilty of sexual assault, confirming that just because there’s grass on the field, it doesn’t mean that you should play ball. [CNN]

* John H. Ray III finally sued Ropes & Gray for treating him like the “token black associate.” That’s only funny on an episode of South Park. [Am Law Daily]

* Evidence in Shaquille O’Neal’s civil racketeering lawsuit has been sealed. Kazaam might have an attitude, but there’s no way he’d ever frame someone for child porn. [South Florida Sun-Sentinel]

* No wire hangers rent-controlled apartments ever! Faye Dunaway: “Can’t evict me, ‘cause I f**cking quit this place. I hope you have a terrible life.” [New York Times]

* Lil Wayne might have some trouble making ladies’ beds rock after being served with this $15M copyright infringement lawsuit. [The Juice / Billboard]

* Christian Louboutin won a small victory against Yves Saint Laurent in court. Maybe soon YSL will be as red with embarrassment as the soles the fashion house tried to copy. [Styleite]


Warren Jeffs

* A team of federal investigators called the “BP Squad” is starting up a criminal investigation into BP and its pals, Transocean and Halliburton. [Washington Post]

* The four justices of the Utah Supreme Court have reversed the rape convictions of polygamist leader Warren Jeffs. No word yet on their response to his marriage proposal. [How Appealing]

* The Sacramento firm of McDonough Holland & Allen is closing up shop by Labor Day, and its 80 or so attorneys are looking for new homes. [Am Law Daily]

* We can now return to not knowing or caring about Levinson Axelrod. [ABA Journal]

* Obama to Senate: plug the damn hole — in the ranks of the federal judiciary. [The BLT: The Blog of Legal Times]

* Texas is simultaneously fighting and following the new health care law — the Supremacy Clause is a real bi**h sometimes. [New York Times]