Weather

Happy Halloween! Unless you live in New Jersey.

Based here in New York, I’ve spent the last several days watching the news while drinking copious amounts of whisky (klassy hurricane tip: pour the whisky directly into the can of coke — it saves washing a glass later if you’re worried about losing water!). The stream of images showing devastated areas is truly horrifying.

Thankfully my bunker of an apartment survived unscathed, but that did not excuse me from my own share of post-traumatic stress. But in my case it was seeing a number of lawyers-turned-politicians parading across the news channels displaying their own law firm certified brand of crisis management and triggering flashbacks to my years in private practice.

When we suffer the zombie apocalypse (which could happen as early as next Tuesday) or any other movie-level disaster, if we continue to place executive power in the hands of lawyers, we’re all screwed….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “How Lawyers Would Botch The Zombie Apocalypse”

The East Coast clean-up from Hurricane Sandy is well underway. When reached for comment, the city of New Orleans said, “Clean-up? You guys need a wet-vac and you’ll be fine.”

In all fairness, you just have to look at the news to see how Sandy hammered the Northeast, especially New Jersey. Havoc abounds, and law schools in the Garden State are not immune from the disaster…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Will Hurricane Sandy Blow Back Finals?”

* Shashank Tripathi appears to be behind the fake tweets about the flooding of the New York Stock Exchange. Is that protected speech or (wait for it) DID HE JUST SAY “FIRE” IN A CROWDED THEATER??????? [Gigaom]

* But to be clear, Romney is free to lie as much as he wants. Political speech, even misleading speech, is clearly protected. [ABA Journal]

* Court is back in session. Kinda. [National Law Journal]

* Will Election Day get washed away? [CNN]

* Just to be clear, because I know “low information” voters are easily confused, “Government” are the people going around trying to help you out in the storm. “PRIVATE BUSINESS,” in this case insurance companies, are the ones looking to screw you over and profit from the disaster. [New York Times]

* If you want to help the victims of Sandy (instead of just staring at pictures of their suffering like I do), you can. [Red Cross; NY Cares; Humane Society]

* Only now, at the end, do you understand the true power of Disney. Skadden helps Disney buy Star Wars. Now Lucas’s failure is complete. [Am Law Daily]

Flooding in Wildwood, New Jersey.

As we mentioned earlier today, we’ll be operating normally here at Above the Law, notwithstanding Hurricane Sandy. Our physical offices, at the corner of Broadway and Houston in Manhattan, are closed. But your four editors — Elie, Staci, Chris, and myself — will be working diligently from our homes to keep you informed and entertained during Frankenstorm.

It seems that we won’t be alone in telecommuting today. Encouraging (or even ordering) employees to stay home, but suggesting that they work remotely if they can, seems to be a common response to the storm.

Here is information — including many UPDATES — about how various courts, government offices, law firms, and law schools are responding to Hurricane Sandy….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Hurricane Sandy: A List of Legal World Closures”

I didn’t mean to interrupt, you were saying something about ‘clean’ coal?

Hurricane Sandy — a.k.a. “Frankenstorm”, because it’s greater than the sum of its parts (and there’s the suggestion that storms like this are growing bigger and stronger because of man messing around with forces he doesn’t fully understand) — is coming. It’s basically a hurricane that’s merging with a Nor’easter that will make it rain, and not in the fun way. The federal government is closed. The New York Stock Exchange is closed. The McDonald’s next to my apartment is closed — Sandy has already cost me a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit.

Don’t worry about me, I’ve got a three-day supply of alcohol and hot pockets. Hopefully you are all similarly prepared for 36 hours of sustained hype wind and rain. Size does matter with Sandy (if “Sandy” sounds a bit mundane, know that the next one will be “Tony”). We might not get a lot of CGI worthy images out of this storm, but the length of this storm could cause a lot of damage.

One thing that is still open: the Supreme Court of the United States. Yes, because the nation might be able to survive without mass transit or the stock exchange, but old men don’t take a day off from sitting in judgment. Reuters reports that the Court prides itself on working when everybody else takes shelter from a storm: “In 1996, when a major snowstorm closed the federal government and brought Washington, D.C., to a near standstill, court arguments went on. Then-Chief Justice William Rehnquist, a Wisconsin native undeterred by snow and ruled by a strong sense of punctuality, made sure business that January 8 began on schedule.”

UPDATE (12:00 PM): According to SCOTUSblog (based on a press release from the Court), the Court has now cancelled arguments for Tuesday. So, the case of Sandy v. SCOTUS has been decided 9-0 in favor of the people who might have had to put their lives at risk to cover the proceedings.

Let’s look at some of the other things in and around the legal world that are still open along the Eastern seaboard….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Frankenstorm Closes Everything, Except SCOTUS… And Above The Law”

Are you ready for two weeks of sports people only pretend to care about every four years?

* And now for some reflection on the just completed bar exam. [Fink or Swim]

* In most of the country, we slam to door on door-to-door salesmen. In Florida, they shoot them dead. [The Raw Story]

* Here’s another take on how long your hair should be at the office. Apparently it helps to not be stupid. [Sweet Hot Justice]

* Yesterday’s New York thunderstorm had tragic consequences for an area lawyer. [Herald Sun]

* I was on Red Eye on Fox last night/this morning. It’s the first plank in the platform I’m using to run for King of the Homeless. [Red Eye]

* We also covered this ridiculous story about a high school student suing because he got a C+ in Chemistry. [ABC News]

* Uh oh, Mitt Romney has angered Carl Lewis. Now I’m waiting for other relevant 80s athletes to weigh in. Can somebody tell me what Greg Louganis thinks about Romney’s comments? [Politico]

Advanced technology designed to thwart aggressive air conditioning.

When we do stories about law school weather problems, they usually involve the facilities being too hot for the students. That’s because air conditioning costs money, and law schools don’t like to spend money on current students.

But once you get out of school and start an office job (or “win the lottery” as people from the class of 2011 call it), the problem isn’t going to be that your office is too hot. The problem is going to be that your office blasts the AC so high that you’ll think you’ve been running around a hedge maze at the Overlook (just click on the link, millennials).

That’s right, for a lot of lawyers, it’s freezing up in here. And since we’re talking about lawyers, you know we’re talking about people who like to bitch….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Is It Too COLD To Work?”

* The Obama campaign is going to court to fight for their big ‘O’ trademark. I guess their claim that Romney’s centrist pragmatism was infringing on Obama’s reputation as a practical moderate fell through once Romney started pandering to his base. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Cruise and Holmes have reached a divorce settlement already. I really think they’ve lost that loving feeling. [Ministry of Gossip / Los Angeles Times]

* After a major blackout, you just know lawyers who work for power companies are going to be busy. [Legal Blog Watch]

* British judge tells Arab man “to depart on his flying carpet” to escape paying costs. In other news: even a magic carpet wouldn’t help Brits win their own tennis tournament. [Legal Juice]

* The bad judgment isn’t necessarily that a Brooklyn ADA took these pictures of himself, it’s that he didn’t scrub them from Facebook after he became an ADA. [Gothamist]

* I-bankers suck at managing their own 401Ks. Maybe that’s the corollary to lawyers being bad at representing themselves. [Dealbreaker]

* This is a brilliant look back at everything that happened with the Roberts Affordable Care Act decision, minute-by-minute. [SCOTUSblog]

Back in mid-March, we brought you a story about a law school in Michigan that had been flummoxed by the sun’s wrath. Now, almost like clockwork, just one month later, we’ve got another story about #firstworldproblems coming from a law school in Connecticut.

The school in question is well aware of its climate control problem, “but it has not yet risen to a level of importance to get funding.” You hear that, law students? Pit stains be damned! Your comfort is meaningless, and the hundreds of thousands of dollars that you collectively pay to attend law school are nothing more than an entry fee to an overpriced sauna.

But should we really be surprised? This school already suffered a major rankings fail in 2012, so asking them to turn off the heat on an 80+ degree day might be too much to handle….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “The Only Thing That’s ‘Hot’ at This School Is the Temperature”

Here at Above the Law, we sometimes feel like meteorologists, if only because we often cover the legal world’s sh*t storms. Speaking of which, this morning we saw an interesting lawsuit pattern coming through on the Doppler radar all the way from California. It looks like we could be facing some gale force bitchiness, because Gloria Allred is at the eye of the storm.

It seems that her latest client, a weatherman, has been prevented from predicting precipitation and making it rain. He believes that a record heatwave over his competitions’ Grand Tetons is the cause of his unemployment. In simpler terms, Allred’s client is suing because he is not an “attractive young female”….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Legal Forecast: Gloria Allred Sues Over Sexy Weather Babes”

Page 2 of 3123