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Mike Lickver

We’ve written before about Mike Lickver, the Toronto-based Bennett Jones associate who made magic with Law School Husslin’ 3. This autotuned masterpiece (two words that shouldn’t go together at all) featured Lickver celebrating his new career Miami-style: on speedboats, with sports cars, and swimsuit models.

But that video doesn’t hold a candle to Lickver’s latest installment, revealing the ultimate fate of Lickver’s eponymous hero, now working as an associate at a major law firm…

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Mickey Mouse, Esquire?

“I’m leaving the legal profession.”

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to Disney World!”

This is, in a nutshell, the story of the latest lawyer featured in our series on career alternatives for attorneys. But there is a lesson here of broader applicability.

Are you looking to leave the law? Your treasure trove of “useless” knowledge could be a valuable asset….

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[S]uppose a State said that, “Because we think that the focus of marriage really should be on procreation, we are not going to give marriage licenses anymore to any couple where both people are over the age of 55.” Would that be constitutional?

– Justice Elena Kagan, in response to Charles Cooper’s contention that marriage is an institution that’s been historically and traditionally linked to procreative purposes, during yesterday’s oral arguments on California’s Proposition 8.

(This exchange led to a wildly entertaining political ad parody about the dangers of old people marrying, produced by the Daily Dolt. Because if there’s anything that’s “worse” than gay marriage, it’s gray marriage! Please continue reading to see the video; you can thank us later.)

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Ed. note: This post appears courtesy of our friends at Techdirt. We’ll be sharing law-related posts from Techdirt from time to time in these pages.

Eric Wisti alerts us a case we hadn’t heard about before. You may recall a few years back how the Bed Intruder song became a huge hit, after the Autotune the News guys took an offbeat TV interview and turned it into a song. They, famously, provided some of the proceeds from that song to the interviewee, Antoine Dodson. Apparently, last year, a radio show called the Bob Rivers show sought to do something similar with an interview with a woman in Oklahoma, who goes by the name Sweet Brown (real name: Kimberly Wilkins), about a fire in her apartment complex. Here’s the original interview…

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Ryan Steinman

The handsome fellow at right is named Ryan Steinman. He used to be an associate at a leading law firm, but now he’s a professional BikeDude™.

Steinman traded securities law for cycling. He’s an instructor at SoulCycle, which is one of the hottest fitness crazes in the entire country.

Let’s learn more about Ryan’s professional journey — and, while we’re at it, check out a shirtless photo showcasing his ridiculously good body….

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Do you have an eye for design? Do you know how to make a room really pop? Did you hate it when the people on TLC’s Trading Spaces upholstered the walls with tacky-looking fabric? If you’re still practicing law, then maybe you’re in the wrong field. Perhaps you should consider taking a cue from the subject of our latest foray into career alternatives for attorneys and become an interior designer.

Because helping people make their houses feel like homes is just as heartwarming as it sounds….

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Back in December, we told you about a football coach who had recently been fired from his position as a cornerbacks coach for West Virginia University. Back in 2010, we told you about this same football coach, because he’d recently been picked up to work for the Detroit Lions. There’s a reason we keep telling you about this football coach: it’s because he gave up what could have been a prosperous Biglaw career after graduating from Harvard Law School to work for free to pursue his dreams on the field.

Are you ready for some football?

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Our latest career alternative for attorneys is probably one that makes most people wish they had not only the funds, but also the creativity to be able to tackle. We’ve covered television screenwriters and novelists in the past, but creating a script for a visual masterpiece on the silver screen is another thing entirely.

It takes time, talent, and most perhaps importantly of all, money. The stealth lawyer profiled in today’s video had all three, and she used them to create a film that touches on social issues that public defenders face each day of their lives. Let’s find out who she is, and what she did prior to becoming a filmmaker….

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Raise a glass to this emerging trend: lawyers entering the alcoholic beverage industry. Some have gone into brewing beer, like Bailey Spaulding of Jackalope Brewing in Nashville and the three guys behind Black Acre Brewing in Indianapolis (whom we recently mentioned). Some have gone into wine, like Elizabeth Banker, proprietor of Slate Wine Bar in D.C. (previously profiled here).

But some might scoff: “Beer? Wine? That stuff’s for lightweights.”

Real lawyers turn to liquor — which brings us to today’s profile in career alternatives for attorneys….

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‘I love drowning in debt with you, sweetie!’

So you want to go to law school, huh? Well, you better be going to get a JD instead of an MRS — unless you’re going to law school in the Deep South. If that’s the case, then perhaps you’re expecting your degree to be accompanied by an apron. For the guys, it looks like you don’t even have to be in Texas anymore to get your 3500 square-foot wife.

One Southern school seems to be using the possibility of finding romance as one of its marketing ploys. Perhaps if prospective students think they’ll be getting something out of law school other than a raw deal, a mountain of debt, and grim job prospects, they’ll be more likely to enroll.

Because apparently two miserable lawyers are better than one….

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