Television

MTV has sunk low. Really low. Its newest program, Downtown Girls — a reality TV show about a group of hot girls living in TriBeCa — is using the New York bar exam as a dramatic narrative hook.

We wrote before about the law grad on the show in our post: Why Unemployed Lawyers Shouldn’t Go On Reality TV Shows — Exhibit A: Victoria, of MTV’s Downtown Girls. Her bio on the MTV site described her as an aspiring attorney who is “a source of rattlebrained comic relief” and “currently awaiting the results of her second attempt at the bar exam.”

We’ve since learned from tipsters that Victoria is a Brooklyn Law School grad. Her results came in on episode 4 of the show. The show’s lead Carrie Bradshaw-inspired character real person is Shallon, who narrates at the beginning of the episode: “Victoria is about to find out the results of her bar exam and that could totally shift the course of her whole life.”

Consider life shifted. The second time was not the charm for Victoria. So what do you do if you find out that you failed the bar exam on national television?

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New Jersey is taking over the world of reality television programming. Though it would surely be sheer torture to be locked in a room with a bunch of Jersey folk, their ridiculous antics and outsized attitudes make for great entertainment when confined to the small screen.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey is by far the most popular of the Housewives series. It’s now in its second season, and it appears that many of our Above the Law readers are fans. We received a landfill’s worth of emails about the legal hook in last night’s episode. One of the Real Sons of the Housewives of New Jerseys — Albie Manzo, son of Caroline Manzo — was in law school. As he said in an interview on the Bravo website, in response to a question about his love life: “School makes the likelihood of any relationship working slim. I always tell my friends, sometimes I feel like I’m dating law school.”

Alas, Albie just got dumped by Lady Justice — he failed out of law school after only one semester, as viewers learned last night. Here’s a clip of Albie breaking the news to his mom. The reality TV hottie claims to have a learning disability that causes him to take three times as long as normal people to absorb information, resulting in a shameful GPA in his fall semester.

While the LD sounds like it could help Albie rack up some serious billable hours, the school wasn’t supportive. A tipster reports:

Albie said the administration told him that if he couldn’t cut it with his learning disability, lawyering probably isn’t for him.

Which law school had such harsh words for the learning-impaired Jersey boy?

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Victoria of MTV's Downtown Girls

With job prospects bleak and the allure of fleeting fame high, some lawyers have considered sending their résumés to reality TV show casting companies instead of legal recruiters. But competition is tough in the realm of trashy television, too.

One unemployed New York lawyer is living the reality TV star dream. Meet Victoria. She is one of the stars of Downtown Girls, a new MTV series about hot girls living in TriBeCa. Sounds like a winner!

Let’s take a look at her bio:

An aspiring attorney, Victoria is Shallon’s other roommate, whose eccentric ways provide a source of rattlebrained comic relief. Victoria recently graduated from law school and is currently awaiting the results of her second attempt at the bar exam. Like her roommates, Victoria is also single, and is infamously known as the “queen of the first date.”

Really? You’re going to include the fact that you failed the bar exam in your MTV website bio?

Can it get worse?

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This past Monday, middle-aged housewives, quadriplegics who were not able to turn the channel, and yours truly tuned into the 763rd 20th season of The Bachelor franchise.

This season stars Bachelorette Ali Fedotowsky, an unemployed 25-year-old who quit her job at Facebook and moved back in with her parents to be on the show. Fans of the series will recall that Ali was a castoff from last season’s Bachelor, where she endeared herself to fans by wearing low-cut dresses, crying frequently, and vaguely resembling a poor man’s Reese Witherspoon as seen in dim light through cataracts. Anyhow, she’s back this season and more determined than ever to find love with one of 25 white bachelors, not including the one Hispanic dude, Roberto.

Figuring that regular guys might be intimidated by Ali’s professional ambition and success, the Bachelorette producers assembled a squad of gentleman callers that simply cannot fail to impress. There is the “outdoorsman,” the “dental sales associate,” the “medical sales associate,” the landscaper, the “internet account executive,” and even the weatherman. Also vying for Ali’s heart are two of our very own kind: LAWYERS.

So, who are these guys?

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I’ve invested six prime time years of my life into Lost, and I can’t recall a single legal angle. None of the characters were lawyers — no matter which reality you look at. More than that, I can’t even recall a single legal concept the show explored.

Last night’s series finale was no different.

But, everybody, everywhere is talking about it. So, we wanted to serve our community water cooler function and let you lawyer Lost fans discuss the series. Already, the dominant question from the finale is: “What the f*** just happened?” I’m sure you guys have some ideas…

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There’s been an Eliot Spitzer outbreak; time to break out the topical cream.

If you follow cable news, you already know that there was a major prime-time shakeup yesterday. Campbell Brown, the CNN anchor for the 8:00 p.m. time slot, is out. Her resignation letter is one of the most candid things you’ll read from a media professional:

I’m pretty sure the last time any anchor could honestly ignore ratings was well before I was born. Of course I pay attention to ratings. And simply put, the ratings for my program are not where I would like them to be. It is largely for this reason that I am stepping down as anchor of CNN’s “Campbell Brown”…

The simple fact is that not enough people want to watch my program, and I owe it to myself and to CNN to get out of the way so that CNN can try something else.

The Washington Examiner is pushing the rumor that CNN’s “something else” will be Eliot Spitzer.

The former Sheriff of Wall Street, who went after big banks during his time as New York Attorney General, denies that he is up for the CNN job. But that man is up to something…

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R.I.P. Law & Order

It’s official: NBC has killed Law & Order. Victim was age 20, and is survived by “Law & Order: Los Angeles” and “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” (for all those who can’t get enough of child rape and murder). NBC’s motives are not known. It may been an act of jealousy by someone connected to Gunsmoke, who did not want to see Law & Order surpass it as the longest-running drama series ever.

Which was the best season? Who was your favorite prosecutor? For how many years will reruns stay on TV? Will the theme music be stuck in your head for the rest of the day in tribute? Please feel free to examine the evidence and argue about it in the comments.

Case closed: ‘Law & Order’ canceled on brink of setting TV record [Los Angeles Times]
NBC cancels ‘Law & Order’ [UPI]
NBC Cancels Law & Order, Picks Up SVU and Law & Order: Los Angeles [Fox News]
‘Law & Order’: Really old — and canceled [Washington Post]

Don’t worry, I’m not going to talk about the steaming pile of poo that Lost dropped in the middle of my living room last night. (Sorry: Spoiled Poo Alert.) Instead, I’m going to talk about a legal television show that could be awesome. Deadline Hollywood reports:

EXCLUSIVE: John Grisham’s The Firm might finally become a TV firmseries nearly two decades after the novel made its author a household name. E1 Entertainment has been shopping a spec pilot script by Lukas Reiter, a series adaptation of the popular legal thriller, which was the base for Sydney Pollack’s 1993 movie starring Tom Cruise.

This will be awesome. But will it be as good as The Good Wife?

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Greetings from the great (albeit foggy) city of Chicago. We’ve arrived a little early, so we can enjoy the city in advance of our event on Monday with the fabulous Judge Diane Sykes (7th Cir.).

Our talk, taking place at the University of Chicago Law School, is free and open to the public. For more details, click here.

While walking through Midway Airport last night, we came across an unusual advertisement — for a law school, as it turns out….

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Facebook is a godsend for office workers. It’s where we flee when we’re bored. It’s where we go for updates on our friends’ lives. And it’s where we vent when work sucks.

Florida state prosecutor Brandon White was marooned in a terrible trial last week, and decided to work through his frustrations creatively, by composing a parody of the Gilligan’s Island theme song worthy of a Law Revue show.

According to the Sun Sentinel, he posted his composition to Facebook on the second day of the trial — Wednesday, April 14th — just after 11 p.m. We apologize in advance for getting the Gilligan’s Island theme song stuck in your head. Lyrics via TCPalm:

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trial,
That started from this court in St. Lucie County.
The lead prosecutor was a good woman, the 2nd chair was totally awesome,
Six jurors were ready for trial that day for a four hour trial, a four hour trial.

The trial started easy enough but then became rough
The judge and jury confused,
If not for the courage of the fearless prosecutors
The trial would be lost, the trial would be lost.

He goes on to describe the others stuck in the same boat as him, including “the gangbanger defendant”…

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