Television

* A senior litigation associate at Paul Hastings, Ryan Nier, has decided to participate in something called the Death Race, and it has nothing to do with the drive for partnership. This Death Race is 50-mile mountain endurance/obstacle race that takes somewhere between 24 and 48 straight hours to finish. Only a handful complete the race every year, and Nier is determined to be one of them. From what we’re told, Paul Hastings has been entirely supportive of Nier, which is cool because he’s using it as an opportunity to raise money for charity. But who knows how supportive they’ll be when they realize he won’t have Blackberry access on top of the mountain for 48 hours. For more information about the Death Race, check out the website. [The Death Race]

* Law student golfing across the U.S. So, I take it summer associate gigs are still scarce? [Golf.com]

* “Guess What the Air Force’s Chief of Sexual Assault Prevention Was Just Arrested For…” Hard to top that headline. [Lowering the Bar]

* Harper Lee suing over “To Kill a Mockingbird” (affiliate link), alleging that the son-in-law of her literary agent botched the copyright. *Insert cheap Atticus Finch joke here* [Washington Post]

* Gigi Jordan case gets even uglier with misconduct charges flying around. [Thompson Reuters News & Insight]

* Dr. Phil is suing Gawker alleging that the website posted a video of the pop psychologist’s interview with Manti Te’o, stifling ratings. So Dr. Phil thinks his audience strongly overlaps with Gawker’s. I’m incredulous. [Yahoo! Sports]

* This is why an over-aggressive cease and desist letter can get you into more trouble. Enter the world of the “miniature war-gaming community.” [Popehat]

* A guide to the questions applicants need to be able to answer at OCI. The best? “Describe a situation when you had to think on your feet to extricate yourself from a difficult situation.” This provides insight into how the applicant will deal with virtually every situation that ever comes up in Biglaw. [Ms. JD]

When an opinion opens with a quote from The Wrath of Khan, something is about to happen.

What followed was a straightforward benchslap littered with Star Trek references. More than a little fitting that an opinion about allegedly illegal porn downloads would focus on the pop culture universe most closely associated with 40-year-old virgins.

It’s not the cohesive, brilliant opinion about strip clubs that we recently got out of Judge Fred Biery. Instead, the opinion draws wry smiles for laying out nothing but a string of references to Star Trek seemingly designed just to prove to his fellow nerds that the Judge knows Star Trek.

Which, in a sense, makes this opinion the most “Star Trek” thing ever…

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I dunno. Some old pilgrim?

Zach Galifianakis, while acting in a Game of Thrones game show sketch on Saturday Night Live, in response to a visual-clue question from Jaime Lannister (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) that asked Galifianakis to identify Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg by name.

(If you’re interested, you can watch the clip from this episode, after the jump.)

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A fireable offense in Iowa.

Probably.

Melissa Nelson, the dental hygienist who was fired for being too hot (aka an “irresistible attraction”), in response to Daniel Tosh’s question — “Did you walk out real slutty?” — posed during this week’s episode of Tosh.0 on Comedy Central.

(Nelson, who lost her gender discrimination suit at the Iowa Supreme Court, received a Web Redemption on Tosh.0, where she dressed as a sexy dental assistant. Continue reading to see the clip.)

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* Happy Administrative Professionals’ Day! While we focus a lot on lawyers, judges, and law students, I’d like to take this opportunity to appreciate our legal staff audience — the secretaries, paralegals, clerks, recruiters, office managers, word processors, receptionists, and everyone else affiliated with the legal practice other than the J.D. crowd. Not only do you do great work, but you help keep this site running with your anonymous tips. Keep ‘em coming! [Above the Law]

* Why yes, I do want a Tumblr of GIFs about public defenders. [What the Public Defender]

* A mega-retailer with a reputation for ruthlessly destroying its competitors makes life difficult for anyone who has to subpoena them? No! [Associate's Mind]

* UVA College Republicans see a massive infringement of student rights in the administration’s decision that fraternities conclude pledging early as an anti-hazing measure. Republicans: Protecting your God-given right to create a naked pyramid since Abu Ghraib. [Cavalier Daily]

* “The Blogger as Public Intellectual.” See, we’re a lot more than dick jokes about law firms, people. [PrawfsBlawg]

* Of all the reasons to lock your cell phone, “To Avoid Arrest” is one of them. [Legal Juice]

* Biglaw explained: Clinical depression is contagious. [Law and More]

* SJL Attorney Search has acquired The Shannon Group, a Washington, D.C.-based career transition, coaching and talent development firm. [Wall Street Journal (press release)]

* Arrested Development is coming back soon! Check out this infographic that tells you which Arrested Development character you are. To the surprise of no one, I’m Lucille. Unfortunately, Barry Zuckercorn, Maggie Lizer, and Bob Loblaw aren’t options. [OK Gorgeous]

* How to hire an effective expert — in the model of Han Solo. [The Expert Institute]

* Here are the 10 most annoying lawyer clichés. Punch yourself in the face for every one you’ve used (non-ironically, of course) in the past month. [The Careerist]

* The NCAA chooses revenue for their member schools over the welfare of students? Shut the front door! [Sports Law Blog]

* Poor plaintiff trying to get off the Internet keeps putting herself on the Internet. Hail Streisand Effect! [Lowering the Bar]

* Grammar fail. Lawyer inadvertently calls his wife a “bitch” with poor sentence structure. [Spadea, Lanard, & Lignana]

* Georgetown Law is holding its second Iron Tech Law Competition, challenging students to develop technology to improve the access to justice or increase the effectiveness of representation. Cool idea. Other schools should consider this kind of program. [Georgetown Law]

* Do you think our lawmakers should reform the Senate filibuster procedure? I agree. Though Patton Oswalt gives an almost nine minute, improvised tour de force of how a filibuster could be awesome that will be — presumably edited down — and used in this week’s Parks and Recreation. Video after the jump. [Cinema Blend]

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AUSA Mike Garofola

He’s smart, witty, compassionate, good-looking, nice. He’s a great lawyer. He was a great clerk. And he’s a great prosecutor.

Federico Moreno, Chief Judge of the United States District Court for the Southern District of Florida, offering comments in praise of Mike Garofola, the handsome assistant U.S. attorney who will be seen as a contestant on the upcoming season of The Bachelorette.

Will this gorgeous lawyer get a rose?

Now in its eleventy-billionth season, The Bachelorette is one of my guiltiest of pleasures, if only because it’s so ridiculous. If for some reason you haven’t seen the show, here’s the plot: 25 guys get together to show off their machismo and vie for the heart of one of the rejects from The Bachelor in an epic battle to get a taste of those sweet sloppy seconds on national television. In an ideal world, the show’s subtitle would be something like “Because We’re Sick of the Women on Match.com and Their MySpace Angles.”

Anyway, this show usually attempts to pair successful gentleman callers with your average girl-next-door types (and yes, these days, girls next door quit their jobs and move back in with their parents specifically so they can be on a reality TV dating show). Ever since the show featured a more respectable female suitor (read: a dental student) in 2011, ABC’s been upping the ante with respect to the qualifications of the mostly all-white male contestants.

The show hasn’t even aired yet, but we’ve got an inside tip on one of the men who will appear on this season’s trainwreck. One of them is a federal prosecutor, and he’s a major, major stud.

Can you smell the prestige?

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That was the day that Nancy Grace’s nipple popped out on TV. Her nipple popping out was what caused that home run.

Brandon McCarthy, pitcher for the Arizona Diamondbacks, wildly speculating as to what could have caused him to give up a home run during a game played in 2011. McCarthy is referencing Nancy Grace’s “wardrobe malfunction” that occurred during her stint on Dancing With the Stars.

Ed. note: This post appears courtesy of our friends at Techdirt. We’ll be sharing law-related posts from Techdirt from time to time in these pages.

Just a few weeks ago, we had a story about how an awesome looking documentary about comic artists needed to hit up Kickstarter to raise more money solely to purchase licenses to some of the artwork & video clips in the film. Most of the copyright holders let them use the work for free, but a few were demanding payment — often thousands of dollars for a single image or short clip. As we’ve noted, documentary filmmakers are scared to death of relying on fair use, because they don’t want to get sued (and some insurance providers won’t give you insurance if you plan to rely on fair use).

And, now, there’s an even crazier example. Two huge fans of the cult favorite TV show, Arrested Development have made a documentary about the show, talking to a ton of people who created and acted in the show, as well as to a bunch of fans. Given that a new season (via Netflix) is quickly approaching, getting this documentary out would make sense. The film is finished according to the filmmakers. Done done done. So why are they asking Kickstarter for $20,053? Yup, you guessed it. Copyright licensing issues. And this time, it’s really crazy…

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