Texas

The only people dumber than this Lubbock, Texas judge are the people who believe state court judges are impartial.

The story that has gone viral this morning is about Texas Judge Tom Head. In a local news interview, Judge Head said that a property tax increase was needed, in part, so the sheriff’s department could defend the people against U.N. troops that Obama would send to invade Texas to quash the civil war that would naturally break out if he was re-elected.

Stupid freaking Texas. Up here in New York, we’ve been preparing for that eventuality for years. What, you think it really costs $2,200 to rent a one-bedroom shoebox in Chelsea? Of course not! I believe it was our own New York State Supreme Court Judge D. Bagger Dumas who said: “The MTA needs funds to extend the 7-line all the way to Hoboken so that we may have an avenue to escape from the mechanized Kenyan Power-bots Obama has been developing in secret with the French and General Zod.”

Sorry, even my jokey attempt to sound as crazy as a Texas judge falls woefully short of the real life lunacy of Texas judges (plus an UPDATE on this guy’s title)….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Calling This State Judge A ‘Clown’ Is Insulting To Clowns”

Hot for teacher?

Ever since Mary Kay Letourneau’s illicit relationship with an underage student hit the news in 1995, our country has been fascinated with sex scandals involving female teachers. Teacher-student sex scandals have earned a permanent place in our national news coverage, because as we all know too well, there seems to be a new incident each year. The reporting is often intense, and thanks to Nancy Grace’s television takeover, a nationwide assault on the “too pretty for jail” defense was launched into being.

Recently, female teachers have been upping the ante, having sex with multiple students in what have been described as drug- and alcohol-fueled orgies. Take, for example, Stacy Schuler, an Ohio teacher who was convicted of sexual battery after having threesomes with her students.

But the most recent teacher-student sex scandal takes the cake, if only because the allegations involve five students filming amateur porn with their teacher. Until now, we’d never heard of a case that involved so many young men all at the same time. But as they say, everything’s bigger in Texas — including the gang bangs….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Texas Teacher on Trial for Allegedly Participating in a Gang Bang With Students”

* In case you’ve been sleeping under a rock, Mitt Romney picked Rep. Paul Ryan as his Vice Presidential running mate. Putting politics aside, this is a great pick, if only because Ryan is so handsome. Seriously, he’s a total stud. [Wall Street Journal]

* “How can I be the one guy with a good degree who is going to be chronically unemployed?” Sadly, many lawyers are still looking for jobs after (multiple) layoffs, but thanks to a lack of positions, employment is just “not in the cards” for them. [New York Times]

* Deadliest clerkship? The Washington, D.C. judge who presided over one of the most violent mass shooting cases in the nation’s capital was reportedly held up at gunpoint last week, with her law clerk in tow. [Fox DC]

* Something is rotten in the state of Denmark Texas. Judge Sam Sparks “know[s] the smell of bad fish,” and now wants to know why the USADA waited so long to bring charges against Lance Armstrong. [Bloomberg]

* After reversing a bankruptcy court’s decision that loan repayment would be an “undue hardship” for a law school debtor, a judge took the time to rip law schools a new one over escalating tuition. [Oregonian]

* Match.com class-action plaintiffs found no love in court after a federal judge ruled that the dating website hadn’t breached its user agreement. Much like their love lives, their claims aren’t getting any action. [Reuters]

* A man who is his own lawyer has a fool for a client: 23% of all cases filed in the federal court for the S.D.N.Y. are brought by pro se litigants, and the vast majority of them seem to have lost their minds. [New York Post]


* “I’ve been a restaurant waitress, a hotel hostess, a car parker, a nurse’s aide, a maid in a motel, a bookkeeper and a researcher.” This SCOTUS wife was well-prepared to give a graduation speech at New England Law. [Huffington Post]

* Sniffling over lost profits is the best way to get a court to take your side. Biglaw firms have asked the Second Circuit to consider reversing a decision in the Coudert Brothers “unfinished business” clawback case. [Legal Intelligencer]

* James Holmes, the alleged Aurora movie theater gunman, is being evicted from his apartment. Guess he didn’t know — or care — that booby-trapping the place with bombs would be against the terms of his lease. [Denver Post]

* The ABA has created a task force to study the future of legal education, and its work is expected to completed in 2014. ::rolleyes:: Oh, good thing they’re not in any kind of a hurry — there’s no need to rush. [ABA Journal]

* Indiana Tech, the little law school that nobody wants could, has hired its first faculty members. Thus far, the school has poached law professors from from West Virginia, Florida A&M, and Northern Illinois. [JD Journal]

* When divorces get weird: is this lawyer’s soon-to-be ex-wife hacking into his law firm email account and planning to publish privileged communications online? Yep, this is in Texas. [Unfair Park / Dallas Observer]

* Breast-feeding porn: yup, that’s a thing, so start Googling. A New Jersey mother is suing an Iowa production company after an instructional video she appeared in was spliced to create pornography. [Boston Globe]

* If someone from your school newspaper asks you for a quote about oral sex, and then you’re quoted in the subsequent article, you’re probably not going to win your invasion of privacy lawsuit. [National Law Journal]

As we mentioned in Morning Docket, Rick’s Cabaret has been served with a lawsuit alleging that the gentleman’s establishment over-served one of its patrons.

Of course, nobody would care about alleged over-serving if the guy had come home from the strip club and beat his wife. In the instant case, a man left Rick’s and drove around at 130 mph with no headlights on, eventually slamming into another car and killing a high school senior.

The driver, Erasmo Ramirez, survived the crash and is serving 15 years for intoxicated manslaughter. The family of the victim is suing Rick’s for its program that gives employees incentives for how many drinks they sell.

I know that you are shocked, shocked to find out that strip clubs want employees to get out there and sell drinks….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Peer Gentleman’s Club Sued For Incentivizing Over-Serving”

* Dewey know why the deadline to sign up for D&L’s proposed “clawback” settlement for former partners has been pushed back again? This time, the liability release is at issue. [WSJ Law Blog]

* In Pennsylvania, there’s been a spurt of lateral movement from people leaving in-house positions for law firms. Memo to laterals: you’re doing it wrong. No really, you are. [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]

* The Senate confirmed four nominees to the Privacy and Civil Liberties Oversight Board, but they won’t be able to do much because they don’t have a chairman. Oh, government. [National Law Journal]

* Here’s a list of gunnerific tips for a successful first semester of law school. Too bad it’s missing the most important tip of all: read Above the Law daily. [Law School Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News & World Report]

* With drinks flowing and asses shaking, Rick’s Cabaret can do no wrong — except when someone dies. The club’s drink-sales policy is currently the subject of a wrongful death lawsuit in Texas. [Houston Chronicle]

* Chris Danzig will be attending and live tweeting the Apple v. Samsung trial today. Follow him! [Twitter]

* The ABA is gearing up for its annual meeting in Chicago. I’ll note (with a lack of surprise) that I was not invited. [ABA Journal]

* At that meeting, the ABA will once again consider accrediting foreign law schools. American lawyers have shouted down this idea twice before, but if the ABA has a chance to screw over its constituents it simply must keep trying. [National Law Journal]

* Here, we see NYU’s Dean Richard Revesz defend the economic value of an “expensive” NYU Law degree without actually using any economic facts or statistics. [Constitutional Daily]

* Please tell me this Ted Cruz yahoo wackjob Republican Senatorial candidate isn’t going to become an ongoing part of my life. [Mother Jones]

* Only lawyers could complicate the word “shall” to the point that it loses all meaning. [Legal Blog Watch]

* I thought casinos killed you with the expensive gambling, not the free alcohol. [Overlawyered]

* Another positive review for Mark Hermann’s Inside Straight. [New York Personal Injury Law Blog]

* An interesting conversation with NYU professor David Garland about the death penalty. It won’t kill you to check it out. [Cruel and Unusual]

Ted Cruz

Congratulations to Ted Cruz, who will most likely be the next U.S. Senator from the great state of Texas. Cruz, who is currently a partner at Morgan Lewis, just won a runoff election for the Republican Senate nomination. Considering that Texas hasn’t sent a Democrat to the Senate since Lloyd Bentsen in 1988, the general election is probably Cruz’s to lose.

Cruz, 41, defeated a formidable opponent in the primary: Lieutenant Governor David Dewhurst, 66, who had the advantage of wide name recognition thanks to nine years in his current statewide office. Dewhurst, a wealthy businessman, also had money on his side: he outspent Cruz by about three to one. But Cruz — an amazing college debater, known for making his opponents wet themselves (he and I know each other through debate circles) — knows how to fight. And to win.

Ready for some résumé porn? Read on to learn about Cruz’s Texas-sized achievements….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Congratulations to Ted Cruz, Tea Party Favorite in Establishment Clothing”

A Biglaw football commercial?

* Dewey know whether this revised partner contribution plan will be well received? Well, from the looks of it, the firm’s executive committee members are being asked to repay a greater sum of money, so people will probably be happier. [Am Law Daily]

* Arnold & Porter’s William Baer, the man nominated to lead the DOJ Antitrust Division, received a warm reception from the Senate Judiciary Committee, and it was all because of his “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” attitude. [National Law Journal]

* What do you get when you cross a Biglaw patent associate from Steptoe & Johnson with an NFL Redskins quarterback? A pretty cool hobby, and a new Adidas commercial. [Capital Business Blog / Washington Post]

* Up next in this judicial gong show, Madam Justice Lori Douglas’s lawyer has asked the Canadian Judicial Council to recuse itself and terminate the legal ethics inquiry against her client. [Full Comment / National Post]

* You saw this coming: attorneys for the man identified as Victim 2 in the Jerry Sandusky trial have released voice mails allegedly left by the former coach, and plan to use them in a civil suit against Penn State. [CNN]

* A lawyer’s former mistress who attempted to kill his wife on several occasions is expected to take a plea deal today in exchange for a 20-year prison sentence. Sounds like a soap opera plot. [Houston Chronicle]

* “Don’t say another word, because you’re just pissing me off.” Former adjunct law prof Clark Calvin Griffith said some interesting things to a judge during his indecent exposure sentencing hearing. [Pioneer Press]

Back in September 2011, we mentioned to our readers via Morning Docket that Ronald Kratz II, a 680-pound man, had allegedly been fired because he was too fat. At that point, the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission had stepped in to sue on this gentleman’s behalf, because apparently his employer perceived his size as a disability.

Now, almost one year later, we’ve got an update on the status of Kratz’s lawsuit. His settlement check is almost as large as he was at the time he was terminated….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “You Can Be Fired for Being Too Fat, But You Might Collect a Fat Settlement Check, Too”

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