It's Friday, just shy of 5 PM Eastern time. Where are the bonus announcements? The silence is suspicious. If you're sitting on bonus news that we haven't reported, please reach out to us by email (subject line: "Associate Bonus Watch"). Thanks.

* Ann Althouse: We love it when she gets medieval -- or should we say me-diva? -- on a hapless blogger's a**. [Althouse]

* Jesse Sneed: The Indiana University law student, who riddled his casebooks with bullets, is going home to grandma. [Blogonaut]

* Tim Wu: These ladies aren't the only ones in love with the high-profile prof; Google thinks he's pretty cool, too. [BusinessWeek]

* Barry Richard: S**tstirrer extraordinaire. [National Law Journal]

According to the recent lawsuit filed by Aaron Charney, Sullivan & Cromwell thinks that Canadians are "irrelevant."

We have a different view of our neighbors to the north. We think Canucks are horny. And pretty damn funny.

This music video, Promiscuous Firm, is from the 2007 University of Alberta Law Show. And it's far more entertaining -- and well-produced -- than any video we've seen from a U.S. law school's annual show or roast.

(Yes, even the Tim Wu video.)

Here's the clip. It's great from about 1:30 onwards (or 3:00 if you're watching "backwards"):

Best double entendre, from the attractive female hiring partner (around the 2:20 mark):

I'm a big firm, I can handle myself
But if I have an opening, I may need your help.

Indeed.

Promiscuous Firm [YouTube]

Whatcha doin' for New Year's? Unless your plans include the words "Diddy" and "yacht," they're not as fabulous as this fête:

Some explanation is in order. This party is being brought to you by one of America's brightest legal minds: celebrity law professor Tim Wu, of Columbia Law School. (We don't know who this "Sue" character is.)

If you haven't read ATL's fawning past coverage of Professor Wu, here's one detail that says it all: Richard Posner calls him "the Genius Wu." Need we say more?

The invite list is equally spectacular. It includes these legal luminaries:

(1) Noah Feldman, the hottie-cum-public-intellectual that Harvard just lured away from NYU;

(2) Kermit Roosevelt, the hottie-cum-law-professor-cum-novelist (yes, descended from THOSE Roosevelts); and

(3) Tali Farhadian, the hottie-cum-hottie-cum-hottie.

Memorably described as a "lush Persian beauty," Farhadian belongs on a Milan runway, a top-five law school faculty, or both.

All of these celebs -- like their host, Tim Wu (Breyer/OT 1999) -- are members of the Elect. Professors Feldman and Roosevelt clerked for Justice Souter (in October Terms 1998 and 1999, respectively). Farhadian clerked for Justice O'Connor (in October Term 2004).

But Feldman, Roosevelt and Farhadian, in all of their blinding brightness, might be eclipsed if a single invitee makes an appearance at the festivities.

Yes, that's right. Also on "The List": AQUAGIRL!!!

Allow us to paraphrase JFK's famous words about Thomas Jefferson:

"I think this will be the most extraordinary collection of young legal celebrity and fabulosity that has ever been gathered together at a party -- with the possible exception of when Aquagirl swam alone."

Earlier: An Update on Aquagirl: Things Are Going Swimmingly
Wherein We Receive An Email from Celebrity Law Prof Tim Wu
Musical Chairs: Professor Noah Feldman Is Leaving NYU for Harvard!

Although we mentioned it in passing, we didn't give adequate attention to Anna Schneider-Mayerson's delightful profile of Tim Wu when it appeared earlier this month in the New York Observer. (It was discussed on several other prominent blogs.)

Now we have an excuse to double back and correct the error: We've received an email from the good professor! Here it is (reprinted with permission):

Hi this isn't exactly a tip -- I just read your entry for above the law and the FedSoc conference, and wanted to say sorry I couldn't meet you at the Net Neutrality panel.... It turned out I had the wrong date and it conflicted with my Thursday copyright class, so I couldn't come....

I hope to run into you in person one of these days.

Best,
Tim

Wow! When we received this email, we giggled girlishly with excitement. First, Professor Wu is brilliant. As noted in the profile, he was nicknamed "the Genius Wu" by no less an authority than Judge Richard Posner, who knows genius when he sees it (e.g., when he looks in the mirror).

Second, Professor Wu is quite handsome (see photo). How many other Columbia Law School professors have earned themselves a music video tribute ("Ain't No Other Man But Wu") from their students?

(Our only grooming suggestion to Professor Wu: Have those eyebrows thinned. We go to someone very good for ours, but she's probably not convenient for you given that you're in New York.)

Finally, we were glad to learn why Professor Wu missed the Federalist Society panel: he misread his calendar. It's nice to know that a member of the Elect -- and not just any old Supreme Court clerk, but one who has been called "indefatigable" and "a valuable man in chambers" by his former boss, Justice Breyer -- makes scheduling mistakes. How utterly charming!

Wu-Hoo! Nutty Professor Is Voice of a Generation [New York Observer]
Tim Wu, Voice of a Generation [Volokh Conspiracy]
George Clooney’s Got Nothing On Tim Wu [WSJ Law Blog]
"I Heart Wu" [YouTube]