We previously reported that firms are starting to launch global financial crisis practice groups.

But we wondered what (if anything) those groups would be able to do for their clients.

According to the National Law Journal, clients are just as confused about the bailout as everybody else. Even the ABA doesn't actually know what to make of what Congress just passed:

Carlton Fields, which as nearly 300 lawyers throughout Florida and Georgia, is forming a "recovery task force" comprised of 15 to 20 lawyers. The task force was first proposed to be called a "bailout task force." It will focus on "what kinds of opportunities will be available with the congressional plan," said Jay Steinman, chairman of the firm's Miami real estate and finance group.

The firm has been asked by the American Bar Association to create a "white paper" on what the bailout plans means. The analysis will be completed this week by Carlton Fields partner Sandra Porter, and the firm will do weekly updates.

Is it possible that a large part of the legal community is waiting for Carlton Fields to tell them what is actually happening? It's been a weird month.

In face of economic crisis, law firm clients range from panicky to opportunistic [National Law Journal]

Earlier: New Practice Groups Coming to a Firm Near You

Last week we told you that Jenner & Block held a firm-wide pep talk to assure associates that everything was going great.

Apparently, this is the new trend. Terrified associates are being told that they have nothing to fear, for now.

Last week Ropes & Gray's chairman Brad Malt sent out this email:

We're living in extraordinary times, and I know many of you are concerned about what the current turmoil in the financial markets might mean to us here at Ropes & Gray. I'd like to offer some thoughts on why we are well positioned to weather the turbulence in the marketplace.

Our firm is over 140 years old, in no small part because we always build for the long term. We have weathered many recessions, starting with the Panic of 1873, and we have always emerged stronger. Today, we possess many competitive advantages, including diversified practice offerings and a diverse client base. Thankfully, we do not depend for our bread and butter on the kinds of companies or markets that are most troubled right now. While recent events have felt unsettling for many people, nothing that is happening should distract us from continuing to execute our strategic plan and deliver excellent client service.

The recent turmoil in the financial markets has also presented the firm with important opportunities to advise clients, including some of the companies affected by recent events. Among the many examples, we obtained a temporary restraining order for our broker-dealer client, Ameriprise Financial Services, in the first case involving a money market fund to “break the buck.†An extraordinary cross-disciplinary and cross-office team reached a multi-billion dollar agreement to purchase Neuberger Berman’s investment management business and Lehman Brother’s fixed income and alternative asset businesses. We are representing various senior officers of major financial institutions in investigations of sub-prime lending activities and related class action lawsuits. And we have advised numerous hedge funds, CDO funds, mutual funds and other clients on other aspects of the market situation, including analysis of distressed securities, advice about credit default swap counterparties, advice about the new short-sale restrictions, and bankruptcy rules.

In the longer term, we are very well positioned to take advantage of opportunities that will arise from the changing market environment, and we continue to invest in lawyers and staff to help us do so. We were delighted recently to welcome our associate Class of 2008, and we actively continue to hire for summer 2009 and beyond.

To be clear, we are not immune to what's happening in the wider world. However, I believe the strengths we have built in our firm, our proven agility in addressing changing market landscapes, and the dedication and high caliber of you, our people, will enable us to withstand the short-term market challenges. As always, we are grateful for your continuing hard work and commitment.

This letter reads somewhat like DPW and Debevoise emails where those firms touted their post-meltdown successes.

O'Melveny & Myers shows firms how to send a spooky reassurance email after the jump.

Atlanta-based law firm Balch & Bingham has decided to let their employees work four days a week in response to high gas prices and gas shortages in some areas. People can take off Tuesday or Wednesday or Thursday, once the firm figures out how to shuffle things around so that there is adequate coverage on all days. According to the ABA Journal:

Managing partner T. Joshua R. Archer says the idea came to him on Tuesday, as he was walking the halls and overheard a secretary ask the office manager if she could leave early to get in line at a station that she'd heard had gas to sell.

"It seems like a good idea from an efficiency and productivity standpoint," he tells the legal publication, pointing out that it should be easier to find gas when others are working. Plus, having a full tank reduces stress because it's one less thing to worry about.

Sounds great. We're sure that everybody who lives in a commuter suburb can appreciate laying off the gas one day a week.

But there's a catch:

They also are expected to work the same amount of hours, over four days, as they ordinarily would over five.

Come again?

For the staff that could take advantage of this "perk," how does a ten-hour day reduce stress?

Here was an opportunity for Balch & Bingham to do something really nice for their employees. You could have given them a half-day off, or a gas credit, or something. But instead it seems like Mr. Archer just came up with a way to get a nice press story without actually helping his employees or costing the firm a single cent.

Even Terri Garr's "Schooner Tuna" boss was able to figure out the difference between a cheap gimmick and a helping hand.

New Law Firm Perk: Work Shorter Week Until Gas Shortage Ends [ABA Journal]

It doesn't always feel like it, but the legal profession is actually very recession proof. Deal work may be drying up, but the Good Book says "Whenever Hank Paulson closes a door, somewhere He opens a window."

Of course, open windows are pretty dangerous if you work in a Manhattan skyscraper these days, but the National Law Journal peers through the looking glass anyway:

"A year ago we were writing deals, figuring out how to grow businesses and expand products; now the markets are trying to figure out when the next shoe drops,'' said Michael Missal, head of the global financial markets group that K&L Gates unveiled on Monday in Washington.

Despite its neutral name, K&L cited the "global economic crisis'' as the reason for launching the group.

It's amazing what clients will pay for. Can you imagine being a Global Economic Crisis attorney and pitching your services to a client?

CLIENT: We're broke. We can't get any credit. I'm going to effing kill Nancy Pelosi and her Mr. Slave.
GEC Partner: Well our firm can offer you the latest counsel on how to navigate through these trying times.

CLIENT: Really? So, how do I get a line of credit right now?

GEC PARTNER: I don't know.

CLIENT: Well, how can I get around this communist era short-selling ban so I can at least make some money on the side?

GEC PARTNER: I have no idea

CLIENT: Well, what can you tell me?

GEC PARTNER: Here we have this wonderful, interactive map. It clearly indicates where you are AND where Nancy Pelosi is at all times. We've marked out various firearms shops along the way.

CLIENT: Isn't this from Grand Theft Auto IV?

GEC PARTNER: That'll be $700 please.

Bracewell & Giuliani at least calls a spade a spade after the jump.

In Monday's morning docket, we asked whether price-gouging investigations during hurricanes were the new trend among attorneys general. Judging from the many investigations launched over the past week, the answer is a resounding YES.

Louisiana AG Buddy "Rattlesnake" Caldwell caught our attention for his battle cry against high hotel and gas prices during Hurricane Gustav. Now that Hurricane Ike has reared its ugly head, other attorneys general are joining the war, including:

Florida AG Bill McCollum has hit up four gas stations with subpoenas. [The Gainesville Sun]

South Carolina AG Henry McMaster has begun gas price-gouging investigations. [The Greenville News]

New York AG Andrew Cuomo is chilling for the moment, just "issuing warnings" about high gas prices. [Central New York Business Journal]

Texas AG Greg Abbott is investigating gas prices and filed suit against a Comfort Inn for doubling the cost of rooms during Hurricane Dolly. [MSNBC]

John Lott at Fox News does not think the AGs are fighting the good fight:

You would think that people had learned their lessons about price controls during the 1970s, though memories have surely faded. Price controls didn't stop the cost of gasoline from rising. They just changed how we paid for them. Instead of prices rising until the amount people wanted equaled the amount available, chronic shortages of gasoline had Americans waiting in lines for hours. Yet, the supposedly permanent shortages disappeared instantly as soon as price controls were removed.

But AGs are responsible for ensuring the law is enforced, not analyzing economic systems. So investigate and sue away, noble attorneys general! And if your AG isn't following the trend, what's up with that?

In Defense of Price Gougers [Fox News]

Facebook just got a lot less cool, and a lot more LinkedIn. Watch out, for your firm may be coming to F-book soon.

The ABA Journal reports that Curtis, Mallet-Prevost, Colt & Mosle has launched a Facebook page to aid in its recruiting efforts:

Looking for a way to better promote itself to the next generation of lawyers, Curtis, Mallet-Prevost, Colt & Mosle has launched a Facebook page as part of its broader law school recruiting efforts.

"We are pleased to be capitalizing on the popularity of the most widely used social networking site," Nancy Delaney, a Curtis partner who is a member of the firm's personnel committee, says in a release (PDF) about the page. "As a Firm, we recognized the power of this format of communication and the wide use being made of it by future lawyers."

Their page has 55 fans at the moment. We would pooh-pooh that, but the Above the Law fan page currently has just 96 fans.

(The ATL group page on Facebook, however, has more robust ranks, with over 800 members.)

Facebook Page is New Twist in Biglaw Recruiting [Robert Ambrogi's LawSites]
BigLaw Firm Recruits on Facebook [ABA Journal]
Curtis, Mallet, Prevost, Colt & Mosle Facebook Page [Facebook]
CURTIS DEPLOYS FACEBOOK PAGE TO HELP ATTRACT TOP LAW STUDENTS [Curtis, Mallet, Prevost, Colt & Mosle Press Release - PDF]