In yesterday’s open thread on #17 though #28 schools in the U.S. News rankings, we neglected to include a riff on the crime statistics in various schools’ cities. We did start thinking about it today, though, as it seems that bullets occasionally fly in the City of Lakes, home to the #20-ranked law school. And Dennis Jansen, a University of Minnesota 1L, was unlucky enough to catch one in the back this weekend.

Jansen keeps a blog called No. 634 tracking his law school adventures. Usually the posts are about fairly mundane topics, like his new dog Harley (a mastiff) and classes (“CrimLaw is a waste of time”). But yesterday, he posted something rather out of the ordinary. One of his fellow students sent it along to us, saying, “So I read this blog by a kid in my 1L crim law class… and THIS was definitely the most interesting post: Jansen gets shot.”

According to the post, Jansen was out on the wild streets of Minneapolis Sunday after going to a club when…

I’m walking across Hennepin with what felt like the entire hiphop room of the Gay 90’s, when I hear popping sounds.

People scream and start running.
I feel something hit my back.

I stop on the curb and call over to T.

Me: “I think I got hit.”
T: “Shut up, where?”
(I lift up the back of my shirt and point.)
T: “OH MY GOD, they got you! They shot you!”
Me: “It’s a gunshot?”
T: “YES! THEY GOT YOU! (then to the street) HE GOT SHOT!”

His first thoughts were not of his mortality but of class the next morning:

So it’s around 2:30 am on a Monday morning and I’m sitting downtown bleeding on the side of the street. Random people coming from clubs stopped as they saw the blood coming from my back. I had a pretty good idea that I was going to miss this morning’s civil procedure class…

And you thought you were having a rough finals week.

Jansen may give former honoree Alex Botsios (the Arizona 1L who wrestled his laptop away from an armed robber) a good running for ATL Law Student of all time. More after the jump, including a gratuitous, but not graphic, photo of the wound.

When a law school dean threatens a massive invasion of privacy, something stinks.

The Assistant Dean of Students at University of Minnesota Law School is Erin Keyes. You might remember her for her 3rd place performance in our Law School Dean Hotties Contest.

But having a pretty face doesn’t prevent Keyes from getting dirty when the job requires. Yesterday she sent around a school-wide email:

We have had several recent reports about a strong, offensive odor emanating from a small section of the Law School’s locker room. If you believe you may have left a lunch or other item behind, we ask that you remove it immediately. Starting at 3 PM today, staff from the Law School’s Facilities office will begin opening lockers to find and remove the source of the odor.

We appreciate your cooperation, and in the future, ask all students to ensure that no perishable food items are left in lockers.

We’ll get back to dirty smelly puns in a second.

But UMN Law students should take immediate action. Take your drugs out of your locker NOW. 3:00 p.m. will be upon you soon and if one of you leaves the crystal meth (or whatever they are doing in the upper Midwest these days) in your locker, you will be mocked. You’ll be mocked on ATL, in court, and later when somebody who knows your story buys coffee from you.

End of PSA announcement.

Back to the smell (if there is such a thing) after the jump.