I understand that “most depressing job posting” is a strong statement. The job market is awful and I’m sure that there are terrible listings that I have not seen. But I stand by my headline. As of Friday the 13th, November 2009, this is the most depressing “legal” job that I’ve seen offered to qualified law students.

From the UT Law career services offices:

Employer: The Ansari Law Firm Title: Legal Assistant/Nanny

That’s right UT law students. You are now being offered a job that you were probably qualified to perform when you were fifteen years old.

Reactions and the full job listing after the jump.

A battle went down the other day on a basketball court at Gregory Gym on the University of Texas - Austin campus. It’s a battle that has been fought across time and generations. It pitted a freshman defensive back from the Texas Longhorns (ranked #2 in the latest Associated Press Top 25 poll) and a UT law student (ranked #15 in the latest U.S. News law school rankings). Who hasn’t been a part of a strong kid v. smart kid fight?

The football player is freshman Kenny Vaccaro. The law student is Jonathon Fuhrman. The Austin-American Statesman takes it from here:

Fuhrman, who is identified as a UT student, told police Vaccaro and his friends were throwing basketballs at him. The affidavit said Fuhrman threw a basketball back at Vaccaro, hitting him in the head.

Fuhrman said Vaccaro then punched him in the face. The affidavit stated that Fuhrman, when he was interviewed by police, had blood coming from a cut lip.

Guys at my high school used to throw basketballs at future legal scholars all of the time. Then they would make love to all the women and be treated like gods. But now they all have multiple out-of-wedlock children and/or priors, while the future legal scholars enjoy prosperous careers and fulfilling romantic relationships. It was no big deal.

Will Vaccaro get punished for this? I’ll share some painful childhood memories, after the jump.

During on-campus interviewing this year, the power is clearly with the recruiters. There are going to be a lot more law students looking for summer internships than employers looking for fresh talent.

We all know this. But do recruiters have to be so damn happy about it? Here’s one report from a 2L at University of Texas School of Law, in Austin:

I am walking up the stairs to get to my OCI appointment. I overhear some interviewers from various firms talking to each other as I hold the door for them and their heavy bags of firm-branded crap.

One lady says to another, “Did you get a lot more applicants from UT this year?” Lady 2 says, “No, it was the usual number for us.” Lady 1 replies, “I had 200 applicants from UT alone for the 15 total spots we will fill this year.” Lady 2 says, “I think it’s gonna be a great year for employers!” They all laugh.

Yes, it’s the sweet sweet tears of law students that make employers strong and profitable. What could be funnier than that?

After the jump, our tipster has some advice for OCI season.

Rising 3Ls at the University of Texas School of Law received a rather matter-of-fact message from their career services office:

OCI Process Overview

Employer registration closes July 1, 2009. The number of scheduled interview rooms is down overall from last year, with a drop of about 45 percent for employers seeking 3Ls.

That’s not so surprising, is it? Just your average, everyday email explaining that recruitment for 3Ls has FALLEN OFF OF A FREAKING CLIFF!

Arguably, more 3Ls than usual will be forced into 3L interviewing (unless you really believe, contrary to some observers, that offer rates will be around close to 100% for current summer associates).

More job seekers + Fewer employers = Recipe for disaster.

After the jump, UT tipsters weigh in.

It appears that the out-of-state tuition at the University of Texas School of Law could be on the rise. The school’s website lists that the proposed non-resident tuition for the 2009 - 2010 academic year is $43,858. That is over a 10% increase from last year.

Is UT riding the wave of this year’s strong showing in the U.S. News law school rankings? Perhaps. But don’t blame the UT administration for the hike. UT is a public institution. As such, if you remember your middle school civics class, the school has very little control over its own tuition. A UT-Law spokesperson explains the situation:

Last year (March, 2008), the Regents set tuition at the University of Texas for the 2008-2009 academic year (this year) and the 2009-2010 academic year (next year). This year’s tuition for new, non-resident students was $39,642. The amount the Regents approved last year for tuition next year for new, non-resident students, $43,858, is a 10.6% increase over this year. The amount listed on our website for 2009-2010 is correct.

The Texas legislature is currently considering a number of tuition bills, some of which could affect the tuition charged next year, but we don’t have any idea how these deliberations will come out as of now.

After the jump, let’s take a deeper look at how Texas plans to make money off of law students.

We’ve got another new program from a law school that is trying to help its students weather the difficult job market. The University of Texas School of Law is initiating the “Long Career Launch Program.” The goal of the program is to help Texas graduates find public interest work:

The University of Texas School of Law (UT Law) is proud to announce the Long Career Launch Program, which is designed to make it financially possible for our recent graduates to obtain legal work experience in unpaid internships while they are awaiting bar results and looking for permanent employment. Graduates who are selected to participate in the Program, which is generously funded by a grant from the Joe R. and Teresa Lozano Long Foundation, will receive a $6,000 stipend to support work in an unpaid legal internship with a government agency or a 501(c)(3) public interest organization.

Unfortunately, the program only extends to internships lasting between August and November 2009. That is not quite enough time to help students that have been deferred until January 2010, and it is a woefully inadequate amount of time for students who have been deferred all the way until the fall of 2010.

But it is something.

Perhaps the most important part of the program is that it encourages public interest organizations to contact UT directly and post their job openings with the school. Ideally, this will lessen the transaction costs for UT law students trying to find appropriate public interest organizations so they can get their deferral stipend.

The Texas march on the top-14 continues.

Earlier: Northwestern Law Gets ‘Proactive’
UCLA: The Latest Law School To Help Deferred Students

Everybody likes to make jokes on April Fool’s Day, even us. So it’s nice to see the Dean of the University of Texas Law School get in on the fun. Here’s the first part of the email he sent around to Texas law students this morning

Update (3:38): It seems the Dean did not send this letter out, it was just some enterprising student. Still, it’s pretty funny, as you’ll see below.

It is with great sadness and regret that I announce today that I am stepping down as the Dean of The University of Texas School of Law. As you can imagine, this decision was not an easy one. In my time here at law school, I have been blessed to keep company with some of the finest legal minds in the world, and I have made many friends, both students and faculty, whom I will cherish for the rest of my days.

I am proudest, of course, of our efforts to double the law school’s endowment, and I am happy to report that despite the current economic downturn, we are well on our way to accomplishing that goal. And our faculty hires over the past few years have assured that we shall rank among the nation’s elite institutions of legal education for years to come.

But despite these accomplishments, the law can be a harsh mistress, and I have ambitions and dreams that remain unfulfilled. It is with that in mind that Jane and I have decided to retire to the Texas Hill country, where I will pursue my first love: raising Emus. Not as a source of food, mind you, but as a means of human locomotion.

We’ve profiled Dean Lawrence Sager before. He looks pretty funny, and he’s a Yankee living in Texas so you know he’s got a sense of humor. And (I say this as a person who knows more about emus than any man ever should) the Dean does have his facts straight: emus taste bad yet they are more easy to domesticate than ostriches.

More from the Dean (and his statement disavowing authorship of the letter) after the jump.

The University of Texas School of Law (tied for 16th on your U.S. News scorecards) is apparently not content with their status. They want to be elite. “They’re smart, not dumb, like everybody thinks. They’re smart and they want respect Michael!”

They think they’ve found just the right person to take them to the next level: Dean Lawrence Sager has promised to add $200 million to the UT-Law endowment by 2014. That would nearly double the school’s current endowment, according to the Austin-American Statesman.

Sager, 67, was recruited to UT in 2002 in part for his prowess in building a law school’s reputation from the ground up — something he did in his previous job at New York University’s law school. That reputation is packaged, almost disguised, by a disarming personality as exuberant as the tangled head of hair that often looks as if it will take flight. Law school staffers say they love his frequently wicked humor.

Hair and humor is all good, but $200 million? In this market? It sounds like a tough sell.

And the reason for this push, after the jump.