Thursday, November 20, 2008 1:29 PM - By Kashmir Hill
In July, we wrote a post on How Not To Spend the Week Before the Bar Exam. A University of Minnesota law grad, Nick "The Goat" Thompson, had been featured in a Sports Illustrated article on an ultimate fighting EliteXC tournament broadcast on CBS. Thompson had lost his match, but had a good excuse: studying for the bar exam had likely cut into his training time. He took the Minnesota bar two days after the match.
We forgot about this article until last month, when his wife e-mailed us to share the good news that Thompson had passed the bar (as did 89% of test takers.)
We talked to Nick last weekend about what's it like to be a professional mixed martial arts fighter, esquire. Find out how he's combining ultimate fighting with a law degree, after the jump.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008 1:26 PM - By Kashmir Hill
Alex Botsios is a 1L at Arizona State University's Sandra Day O'Connor College of Law. Last week, he left a window open overnight, and someone snuck into his Tempe apartment to steal his stuff.
ASU student Alex Botsios said he had no problem giving a nighttime intruder his wallet and guitars.
When the man asked for Botsios' laptop, however, the first-year law student drew the line.
"I was like, 'Dude, no -- please, no!" Botsios said. "I have all my case notes... that's four months of work!"
That's when Botsios showed him exactly how important case notes are to a law school student. He wrestled away the intruder's baseball bat, punched the guy repeatedly, and called the police.
Botsios just had a bruised knuckle and a few scratches, while the intruder looked like this. He had to be taken for stitches before being booked for armed robbery and kidnapping.
Alex Botsios, congratulations. You are now an official ATL Law Student of the Day.
Monday, November 10, 2008 10:18 AM - By Elie Mystal
Today marks the start of two weeks of "Assassins" at Columbia Law School. The game will start internally, undoubtedly as a training exercise for CLS students before they start hunting the deadliest prey: NYU students.
The game, if you've never played it, is awesome. The rules are simple:
* You will be given a target. Find them and "assassinate" them by hitting them in the back with a sock.
* Get your next assignment from your "assassinated" target; his/her former target becomes yours.
* If you "swing & miss" your target, you must wait one hour before attempting another assassination.
* Once you are "assassinated," you are out of the game.
* The last player standing is the winner.
As we understand it, over 200 students have signed up. An organizer tells us why:
If stereotypes are to believed, CLS students are familiar with watching their backs, eyeing their rivals with suspicion, viciously taking any means necessary to eliminate their competition, and gloating with vituperation at victories over colleagues.
In this job market, "Assassins" is much better training than M&A.
Read the full rules and regulations, after the jump.
Authorities are investigating whether men threatened to kill Senator Barack Obama, or if they were just trying to get a date with Jodie Foster. Either way, U.S. Attorney Troy Eid is certain that the potentially meth-addled gunmen posed no credible threat to Obama or the Democratic National Convention.
We have explored the colossal idiocy of making threats against the President before. However, in a news flash to, you know, Germans, Obama is not the president yet. He is not even the nominee of a major party.
What he is, is a "major candidate" and 18 U.S.C. § 3056, authorizes the Secretary of the Treasury to grant him Secret Service protection and all the other trappings of "dude, not to be messed with."
Obama has received protection for well over a year, earlier than any other presidential candidate in history.
So, here's an important safety tip: don't threaten to harm Obama or McCain or Bob Barr or whomever. Register your displeasure in the traditional way, anonymous comments on various blogs that showcase your cutting wit and deep respect for democracy. The Secret Service doesn't have a sense of humor.
[Ed. note: This post is by MARIN, one of the finalists in ATL Idol, the "reality blogging" competition that will determine ATL's next editor. It is marked with Marin's avatar (at right).]
Does this sound like your supervising partner?
[He] aggressively and rapidly advanced...with clenched fists, piercing eyes, beet-red face, popping veins, and screaming and swearing. Raess v. Doescher, 883 N.E.2d 790, 794 (Ind. 2008).
A recent ABA article, "Beyond Traditional Tort Law, 'Desk Rage' is Now a Potential Claim," suggests that in a few "avant-garde" jurisdictions you can sue your boss for being a world-class a**hole. Er, the ABA might want to sign itself up for one of its CLE refresher courses, because the jurisdictions that recognize the new tort are so avant-garde that they do not yet exist.
The article cites Raess as evidence of a "desk rage" cause of action. But in Raess, the court granted judgment for the plaintiff on a traditional assault claim, and merely noted that a jury instruction about workplace bullying was appropriate. Deduct 3 skills credits.
Of course, you can still sue office tyrants under existing legal theories like Title VII (for racist and sexist jerks), intentional infliction of emotional distress (vindictive jerks) and assault (scary jerks).Unfortunately, there's no tort for run-of-the-mill partner jerks who ignore emails or scream at associates.
On that note, stop reading this post and get back to work, you worthless sacks of sh*t.
[Ed. note: This post is by ALEX, one of the finalists in ATL Idol, the "reality blogging" competition that will determine ATL's next editor. It is marked with Alex's avatar (at right).]
I heard once that people don't like lawyers. Upon honest reflection, I'm inclined to agree with them. Hell, some people might not like me, even though I'm pathologically nice, fun at parties, and a member of the ABA.
Of course, hating lawyers is never justification for killing lawyers. Shakespeare be damned.
Earlier this month, the wife of a Tennessee lawyer became the avatar of lawyer-hate, strangling her husband and hiding his body in the bedroom closet with, presumably, all of the other unmentionables.
Nashville police arrested the estranged wife of an attorney in his strangulation killing. A housekeeper found the body of 44-year-old James Cannon in a bedroom closet on June 23. Police said Cannon had custody of the couple's children, who are 9 years old, 7 years old and 18 months old. Cannon had filed for divorce from Kelly Cannon in February and obtained an order of protection to keep her away from him and the children.
Mrs. Cannon's story seems, um, airtight:
Police said Kelly Cannon told them she went to her husband's home the night of June 22, but said she couldn't find him.
You know, I would have never seen this coming from Mrs. Cannon. I've always trusted women with arty glasses. Never again.
It's a shame, though; there are much more entertaining and lawful ways to seek revenge on a lawyer, like deleting the serial commas throughout the final draft of a brief or replacing all of his two-button suits with three-button suits.
In any event, this woman is clearly a threat to our people and should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.
Ultimate fighting isn't exactly a sport that's on our radar. Also known as mixed martial arts, it involves a cage and a lot of grappling, kicking, and punching. Apparently, it has a rapidly growing fan base; a recent Rolling Stone article called it "the next Nascar" and "boxing's replacement."
Last year, the Minnesota City Pages wrote a profile of mixed martial arts fighting champ and University of Minnesota law school student, Nick Thompson. A tipster sent us a link to one of Thompson's recent bouts. Based on this Sports Illustrated article, it sounds like it was more of a rout than a bout:
If nothing else, Shields' 63-second destruction of Nick Thompson, a quality welterweight with 12 consecutive wins under his belt coming into Saturday, should give Shields enough gravitas that he's brought into the discussion of top 170-pound fighters in the game...
Included in the 29-year-old San Franciscan's tally is Saturday's domination of Thompson (36-10-1), which saw Shields land an early takedown, move to mount and lock in a one-armed guillotine from the top...
"I think I'm one of the best in the world, and Jake treated me like a little kid out there," said Thompson, a law school graduate who faces the bar exam next week. "That's the best mount I've ever felt."
Even though Thompson lost, we're still impressed that he's fighting in cage matches the week before the bar exam -- guess he's not very anxious about the test. On the other hand, who wouldn't take a break from studying for "the best mount" ever?
The New York Times has a fascinating piece today about businessman William F. Browder; his Russia-based investment firm, Hermitage Capital; and doing business in Russia. It reads more like an advisory on why you shouldn't do business in Russia. Once you've got a good thing going, the Kremlin may investigate you, take all your money, and kick you out of the country.
The moral of the story is:
The rule of law is subject to [the Kremlin's] wishes, and those out of favor are easy prey.
Given our obsession with all things "lawyer," we were particularly interested in the legal folks in the story. One thing we noted: new Russian president Dmitri A. Medvedev is a former law professor. He has pledged to "wage war on corruption, often saying that Russia is plagued by "legal nihilism." Yeah, yeah -- that's what they all say. Though only a former law professor would use the term "legal nihilism."
If we were to do a spin-off of the Asia Chronicles, for lawyers based in Russia, our prediction is that it would be less cushy, and more violent:
Dozens of police officers swooped down on the Moscow offices of Hermitage and its law firm, confiscating documents and computers. When a member of the firm protested that the search was illegal, he was beaten by officers and hospitalized for two weeks, said the firm's head, Jamison R. Firestone.
Hospitalized for two weeks!? That's taking workplace hazard to a whole new level.
We have not yet seen the new Batman movie, The Dark Knight. It's too bad we're not summering at Simpson Thacher in New York. Have you seen the film? Does it live up to the hype?
Meanwhile, Batman star Christian Bale was arrested in London, before being released on bail. From the Daily Mail:
Batman star Christian Bale was released on police bail today after he was arrested on suspicion of assaulting two family members.
The Hollywood actor was questioned for four hours at Belgravia police station in central London and later bailed to a date in September pending further inquiries.
Bale, 34, is alleged to have lashed out at his mother Jenny, 61, and sister Sharon, 40, in his suite at Park Lane's Dorchester Hotel on Sunday night.
If true -- Bale denies the allegations -- such conduct is most unbecoming of Bruce Wayne.
Remember that infamous incident involving spinning class violence? If not, here's a recap, from Bess Levin of our sister site, Dealbreaker:
Part 937,529 of the greatest story ever told: In June, broker Christopher Carter was acquitted of assault charges for manhandling his fellow spinning class rider, hedge fund manager Stuart Sugarman, who, to Carter's annoyance, had been shouting affirmations at himself throughout class, like "Yeah!" and "You go girl!". Though Carter admitted to throwing Sugarman, still seated on his bike, into a wall, the jury decided that they could not say beyond a reasonable doubt that the thrower was the cause of the back and neck pains that hospitalized the throwee for two weeks.
Now Carter is asking Manhattan DA Robert Morgenthau to prosecute the audible worker-outer for supposedly perjuring himself on the witness stand, an allegation seemingly supported by the fact that one juror called Big S "a huge liar." Sugarman's lawyer Samuel Davis claims Carter's "perjury pitch" is a "publicity stunt" timed to coincide with Sugarman filing civil suit against him, and what we pray to god will be a reality show on VH1 starring the pair.
In the Dealbreaker comments, there's a request for legal insight:
Here's the part I never understood: Carter, who I am soliciting funds to build a memorial to, *admitted* that he threw Sugarman and his bicycle into a wall.
What difference does it make to a criminal complaint whether Carter caused Sugarman any *specific* injury? The minute he touched Sugarman, the deed was done and the crime was committed, under any set of criminal laws I ever studied. Everything else is just aggravating factors. Y'all got some weird laws in NY.
Here's a report on the disposition of an odd case we wrote about back in February. From David Oscar Markus:
Remember this case from Ft. Lauderdale? Well, the assault charges against Kathy Brewer Rentas for her "handshake" of AUSA Jennifer Keene have been dropped. Vanessa Blum covers the case here:
The case of an over-enthusiastic courtroom handshake that escalated into an assault charge against a local attorney was dropped Thursday by federal prosecutors who deemed it the "prudent" thing to do. Kathy Brewer Rentas, with the Hollywood firm of Becker & Poliakoff, spent the night in jail after her Feb. 7 arrest for assaulting a federal prosecutor by handshake in a Fort Lauderdale courtroom.
Brewer Rentas was charged with assaulting a federal officer, a misdemeanor that carried a maximum penalty of a year in prison. To avoid any conflict of interest, the case was transferred to the Orlando U.S. Attorney's Office, where Special Assistant U.S. Attorney Carolyn Adams filed notice Thursday that she was dropping the charge.
"We conducted numerous interviews with witnesses, we reviewed the evidence and we just felt after taking a look at everything that the prudent thing to do was just drop the charges," said Steve Cole, spokesman for the Orlando U.S. Attorney's Office. "We don't have any comment beyond that."
So Kathy Rentas is in the clear. But we still wouldn't shake her hand in congratulations.
After the Boston Celtics emerged victorious in their match-up with the L.A. Lakers, Bostonites were thrilled. They had that kind of mad happiness that can veer off into loss of reason, then violence. Unfortunately, when the madness took over, a crowd of Celtic fans was in front of the offices of Greater Boston Legal Services.
From the Massachusetts Lawyers Weekly's news blog, The Docket:
Two days after the Boston Celtics grabbed the NBA championship for the first time in decades, and as jubilant fans were toasting the team at a victory parade, Robert A. Sable was walking on broken glass in the ruined offices of Greater Boston Legal Services.
GBLS' offices, which are off Causeway Street near the TD Banknorth Garden, bore the brunt of one fan's exuberance after the championship win. Now its newly renovated lobby is destroyed.
"We probably spent at least $300,000 [on the lobby]," says Sable, who is GBLS' executive director. "We had brand-new windows, brand-new furniture and a really nice kids' area."
Ironically, the fans were trying to make their way to bars on "Friend Street." Because the police had blocked off "Friend," the crowd got angry. Here's the video from YouTube:
Thursday, June 19, 2008 10:58 AM - By Marc Edelman
Baseball is America's national pastime. So is litigation. In recent years, the two have converged in the most obnoxious way, with fans suing each other for ownership of home run balls.
On Monday, the Florida Marlins received a subpoena for video footage from Justin Kimball, a 25-year-old fan who attended the team's June 9th game. According to Justin, on that day he caught Ken Griffey Jr.'s monumental 600th career home run in his wool cap, but the ball was ripped away from him by a fan identified only as "Joe." Joe, however, contends that he caught the ball in his glove.
Last Wednesday, Justin filed a motion in Miami-Dade court, seeking a temporary restraining order prohibiting Joe from selling the disputed baseball. Although Justin's motion was denied, he plans to continue litigating.
This is not the first time that grown men have fought over a baseball. In December 2002, a California judge in Popov v. Hayashi (PDF) ordered two men, each of whom claimed to own Barry Bonds's historic 73rd home run ball, to equally split the proceeds. In that case, Alex Popov, owner of a Berkeley, CA health food restaurant, brought suit against Patrick Hayashi, a software engineer from Sacramento. Popov alleged that he owned Bonds's baseball because he was the first to get his glove on the ball, and that Hayashi tore the ball from his glove during the ensuing melee. Hayashi argued that he was the first to have actual possession.
Read more about the law of history-making baseballs, after the jump.
Some people just can't stay out of trouble. As soon as they get out of one scrape, they find themselves in another.
Take Gary Zerola, the dashing ex-prosecutor who was once named a "Most Eligible Bachelor" by People magazine. We named him Lawyer of the Day back in October 2007, after he was arrested in Miami for allegedly drugging and raping a college student.
As we previously reported, Zerola went to trial on rape charges in a different case and prevailed. In a second rape case, he was acquitted again. Charges in a third case, the Miami matter we originally wrote about, were dropped.
Now Gary Zerola is back in the news. From the Boston Globe:
Gary Zerola, a former prosecutor who was acquitted of rape charges, pleaded not guilty today in Boston Municipal Court to assault and battery on a police officer and other charges, after an incident downtown during Celtics victory celebrations last night.
Police apprehended Zerola at 1:45 a.m. after he was allegedly spotted urinating in public near State and Congress streets, according to Jake Wark, a spokesman for the Suffolk District Attorney's office. When asked what he was doing, Zerola allegedly used an open hand to strike a police officer in the upper right shoulder, Wark said.
Weak sauce, Gary. If you're going to hit a cop, make a closed fist.
Zerola, 36, ran but was quickly arrested on charges that also included disturbing the peace and resisting arrest. Judge Tom Horgan released Zerola on personal recognizance and scheduled a pretrial conference for Aug. 7.
Sounds undignified. Did he try to flee with his pants around his ankles? Was a big wet spot visible when he was arrested?
So far this summer has been a little slow in terms of juicy summer associate stories. Are SAs this year just too well-behaved for their own good? C'mon, kids -- lighten up, have some fun, drink a little (or a lot) at firm events....
Almost three weeks have passed since our last summer associate tale. So we were delighted to receive this gift in our inbox today, pertaining to a summer at Schulte Roth & Zabel in New York:
[A]t a summer event last night, one the Schulte summers -- let's call him Randy Savage -- unaware of the identity of a particular stranger, put him in a headlock and called him a (homophobic insult redacted) for wearing a Yankees jersey.
The stranger then asked Randy Savage: "Do you know who I am?" Randy Savage replied: "No, you punk."
Said "punk" turned out to be a Schulte partner. The fate of Mr. Savage is currently unknown.
Clearly it's the partner's fault for not looking sufficiently partner-like. It happens; we know some junior partners who still get carded. We hope the SRZ folks cut the guy some slack and keep him around, so he can proceed to embarrass himself at future events.
We reached out to the firm this morning to see if they might have any comment. They haven't gotten back to us as of the time of this posting.
As always, please don't name this summer associate or provide more biographical detail about him (e.g., his law school). If you do, we may ban your IP address from further commenting. Thanks.
Update: This comment from Dr. Gonzo says it all: "SNAP INTO A PARTNER!!!"
Parents of an Ohio eighth grader are suing their son's teacher, principal, and school superintendent, as well as the Mt. Vernon City School District. Apparently the teacher is among the one in eight biology teachers who don't believe in evolution, and he espouses his religious beliefs in class. And oh yeah, he burned a cross into their son's arm!
The John Does claim Freshwater has unconstitutionally taught his religious beliefs in his science classes for more than a decade. They claim that in 2003 Freshwater sought, and was denied permission, to teach "intelligent design," but does it anyway. They claim his classroom is festooned with Biblical posters, that he tells his students that "although he is forced to teach from the textbooks, the teachings are wrong or not proven according to the Bible."
The complaint [PDF] states: "On Dec. 6, 2007, Mr. Freshwater burned a cross into James Doe's arm using an electric device manufactured by Electro-Technic Products, Inc., Model BD-10A. The manufacturer of Model BD-10A warns that the electric device has a high voltage output that should never be used to touch human skin. ... Mr. Freshwater applied the electric device to the arm of at least one other eighth grade student on Dec. 6, 2007. The area burned with Model BD-10A resulted in an easily identifiable cross consisting of red welts with blistering, swelling and blanching in the surrounding area...
The complaint also states that Freshwater, as adviser of the school's Fellowship of Christian Athletes, claimed to drive Satan out of a speaker at a club meeting, told club members that "they are saved, whereas the other students playing on the playground are going to Hell," distributed Bibles at school, gave "extra credit" to students who did work on "intelligent design," and that school administrators knew all this but failed to discipline him for it.
Last time we checked, exorcising demons from your students wasn't part of the No Child Left Behind Act.
The Washington Post's Reliable Source column has a short piece about Holland & Knight partner Thomas Brownell, who apparently got a little too caught up in a family feud over a property in Virginia wine country. Brownell doesn't look like much of a fighter in his firm mug shot, but allegedly, he throws a mean punch:
In criminal charges and a new lawsuit, the [Oasis Winery] founder's son alleges his mom's attorney slugged him. Tareq Salahi claims his mother, Corinne Salahi -- with whom he is fighting for control of the estate -- wrongly moved some chairs from his house to the winery; when he moved them back, he claims, her lawyer, Thomas Brownell, punched him in the shoulder and threw him into a door. "Tareq is a big man; it takes a lot of force to do that," said the younger Salahi's attorney, Stephanie Ryan, who last week filed suit in Fairfax County against Brownell and his firm, Holland & Knight.
Use your words, not your fists -- that's what moms say. Do they teach that in law school?
We're late on this -- our colleagues at Dealbreaker mentioned it yesterday, and the WSJ Law Blog covered it this morning. But just to follow up our earlier report, here is some news from today's New York Times:
On Monday, a jury acquitted [45-year-old stockbroker Christopher] Carter of assault charges for manhandling the stationary bike of a fellow gym member, Stuart Sugarman, who was shouting [things like "you go girl," and "great song"] and grunting during a spin class. Even though Mr. Carter's defense lawyer acknowledged in court that his client had grabbed Mr. Sugarman's bike by the handlebars, tilted it back and then released it, with Mr. Sugarman astride, the jury decided that he was not a criminal for having done so.
After nearly 10 hours of deliberations, the six jurors agreed that they could not say beyond a reasonable doubt that Mr. Carter had caused the back and neck trouble that hospitalized Mr. Sugarman for nearly two weeks.
"Probably, most likely, but not definitely," said one juror, Marybeth Roman.
Will the acquittal empower other acts of vigilantism at gyms around the country? One can only hope.
As for Carter and Sugarman, whose dispute appears likely to turn into a civil suit, don't expect to see them at a gym near you. From the New York Post:
Sugarman had told jurors he's too injured to work out. Carter yesterday said he's given up spinning for good. "I want to grow old gracefully," he joked.
There are two camps of people at the gym. There are the ones who quietly do their workout, bop to their iPod tunes on the elliptical, do some bicep curls, do some stretching, then go on their merry way, without trying to engage fellow gym users.
Then there's the camp that likes to attract attention. They're the ones who smell funny, wear weird workout clothing, hover over you until you're done using the machine they want, or make incredibly loud grunts and noises that manage to annoy you through your iPod headphones.
Our friends at sister blog Dealbreaker have been following the story of a New York stockbroker who decided he wasn't going to let that camp go unpunished. Now the case is being prosecuted. From the New York Sun:
On a summer night last year, the Studio Cycling Room at the Equinox Fitness Club on 85th Street and Third Avenue became the scene of a crime, prosecutors say, after two men, each ill-suited for group exercise in his own way, clashed over the appropriateness of making noise during a strenuous workout.
For Stuart Sugarman, 48, any amount of noise goes. From the witness stand in Manhattan Criminal Court yesterday, Mr. Sugarman told a jury about grunting during a good workout and releasing exclamations of "you go girl," and "great song."...
The evidence suggests that Mr. Carter, a stockbroker, preferred a quieter workout than Mr. Sugarman was prepared to allow his fellow cyclists.... First he cursed at Mr. Sugarman. Then he got off his bicycle to go talk with a class instructor about getting Mr. Sugarman to quiet down. Finally, Dr. Sandel testified, Mr. Carter went over to Mr. Sugarman's bike and lifted the front end off the ground, then dropped it back down, with Mr. Sugarman atop it all the while.
Sugarman says he suffered a concussion, a herniated disc, and a sustained fear of exercise, and Carter is being tried for assault. Dealbreaker reports that in court yesterday, a witness testified that when "Christopher Carter (the thrower) told Stuart Sugarman (the throwee) to shut up initially, Sugarman responded, 'Make me.'"
Sometimes it's hard to keep the law civil. But when you feel your temper rising, resist the urge to call opposing counsel a "jackass." And if opposing counsel calls you a jackass, resist the urge to retort by calling his mother a jackass.
Two Louisiana lawyers, Douglas H. Greenburg and Anthony P. Lewis, did not heed this advice, and now they've been reprimanded by the state attorney discipline board. Debra Cassens Weiss reports on the reprimand in the ABA Journal:
Greenburg is the former district attorney of Terrebonne Parish, according to a story published by the Courier at the time of the incident. Lewis had a private practice and was also an assistant district attorney in Lafourche Parish, the story said.
Lewis told the publication that he and Greenburg have a "long-standing mutual dislike" based on disagreements over each others’ manner of trial practice.
Lewis told the Courier that the incident began when Greenburg accused him of wrongdoing. Lewis retorted that Greenburg was still trying to prosecute, prompting Greenburg's jackass comment and Lewis' jackass retort, he said. At that point, Lewis said, Greenburg lunged at him, grabbed his lapel and knocked him over, causing a temporary blackout. Greenburg told police he grabbed Lewis' collar but he did not push him, the story says.
It seems like it's always the boy attorneys who lock horns in court. When is someone going to send us a good courthouse catfight story?
In July, we wrote a post on How Not To Spend the Week Before the Bar Exam. A University of Minnesota law grad, Nick "The Goat" Thompson, had been featured in a Sports Illustrated article on an ultimate fighting EliteXC tournament broadcast on CBS. Thompson had lost his match, but had a good excuse: studying for the bar exam had likely cut into his training time. He took the Minnesota bar two days after the match.
Continue reading "Legal Profile: Nick 'Ultimate Fighting Lawyer' Thompson"
(43) Comments
Here's a report on the disposition of an 
Some people just can't stay out of trouble. As soon as they get out of one scrape, they find themselves in another.
Parents of an Ohio eighth grader are suing their son's teacher, principal, and school superintendent, as well as the Mt. Vernon City School District. Apparently the teacher is among the 
