Violence

X Men small X Summers X Summer Associates Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpgFor those of you who might be interested, here’s another version of yesterday’s story about the Bruised Booze Cruiser — a Kirkland & Ellis summer associate who got slugged by a local lass in Chicago (after getting drunk on the firm-sponsored booze cruise and calling said woman a “fat bitch”).

We actually received many accounts of this event. The one that we decided go with came from someone who was at K&E this summer and attended the events in question, so we viewed it as fairly reliable.

But here’s a second version, also from someone who claims to have been there. And we like it — in some ways, it’s even better than the original — so we’re passing it along.

According to our latest tipster, the Bruised Booze Cruisier (hereinafter “BBC”) was acting up even before the after-party where he got punched by a girl woman. From this second source:

[The BBC] had upset one big-time partner before ever getting to the bar that night (and, if the golf outing story is true, he had notes from two partners sent to recruiting). The cruise ship played music during the 3rd of July fireworks, and at one point, the “Imperial March” from the Star Wars movies came on.

The summer (maybe a big fan of the movies?) decided to narrate the song by attempting to recreate Darth-Vader-esque breathing noises. His wanting everyone to hear, though, meant the noises were less breaths and more zombie moans, which weren’t appreciated by the young children on board.

A senior partner near the summer, whose children were frightened and upset by the noises, wrote to recruiting about the guy before the story of the bar fight ever came out.

That’s pretty great — but there’s more. Check it out after the jump.

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X Men small X Summers X Summer Associates Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpgLabor Day has come and gone. But even though summer is unofficially over, we still have a few summer associate stories for you.
We heard lots of rumors about the Chicago summer who, as described by one source, “got decked by a girl” after a firm-sponsored, Fourth of July boat cruise. According to one version of the story, he showed up to work the next day black and blue.
After poking around, we’ve assembled what we believe to be a fairly reliable account of the incident. The black-and-blue part isn’t true, but the general outlines of the story are accurate:
1. Superhero name: The Bruised Booze Cruiser
2. Special power(s): Improvised musical composition; ability to take it on the chin, from a member of the fairer sex.
3. Summered: Kirkland & Ellis, Chicago, summer 2007
4. Claim to fame: From our tipster:

After the Fourth of July boat cruise, one of the summers tied one too many on. At the after-party, while passing a drink to a friend, he stuck it right across the face of a girl standing nearby.

Understandably annoyed, the girl said something sort of snarky. He responded by a signing an improvised song to her, which went something like, “Fat bitch, fat bitch, you are such a fat bitch.”

After he went on for about a minute, she decided she had had enough of his ditty. She emptied her drink over his head — then socked him in the jaw.

Awesome. We’re applying the “You Go Girl” tag to this post.
Find out the Booze Cruiser’s fate, both medically and professionally, after the jump.

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Paulina Brady bar exam well endowed Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpgThe tipster who sent this to us wrote:

“It’s a bit grim, but since it’s a slow news day, perhaps you can use this story about a man who apparently murdered his wife, after he failed the Texas bar 4 times. As noted in the article, the alleged perpetrator had lobbied the Texas Supreme Court to lift the rule that limited law graduates to five attempts to pass the bar exam.”

You can say whatever you like about her, but Paulina Bandy handled her thirteen bar exam failures in a much more healthy manner.
Man who killed wife failed bar exam four times [Houston Chronicle]
Earlier: The Bar Exam: If At First You Don’t Succeed…


Michael Vick middle finger Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpgThings aren’t look so hot for football star Michael Vick right now. See here and here.
Despite the incriminating statements of his co-defendants, Vick still hasn’t reached a plea agreement with the government. Rumor has it that there’s a split among Vick’s lawyers about whether to take a plea deal.
After the jump, we post an analysis from a reader suggesting that, under the applicable Sentencing Guidelines (which are of course advisory post-Booker), Vick shouldn’t necessarily serve prison time.
But we suspect that the feds wouldn’t allow Vick to get off without some prison time (at least a year). And if Vick doesn’t plead guilty to the current indictment, they’ll nail him with a superseding indictment that includes RICO charges (which will vastly ramp up his exposure if convicted).
Check out this reader’s analysis, after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Michael Vick: His Co-Defendants Are Barking Up A Storm”

Even if you have a possible justification for doing so — ’cause it might be illegal. From the ABA Journal:

Taser lawyers taser client Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpgProceedings have been delayed in a California misdemeanor case in which the defense is claiming that police brutalized their client with a stun gun during his arrest at a shopping mall last year.

That’s because the defense team is now being criminally investigated for allegedly violating human experimentation laws by repeatedly using a stun gun on their client themselves during an evidence-gathering effort in a law office.

Additional details here. Our tipster, a criminal defense lawyer, observes:

“I can’t decide which I like better:

(1) imagining those nervous, sweaty-palmed, study-group types from law school, wringing their hands and saying, ‘C’mon, guys, we have to be PREPARED! How are we gonna know what he looked like when he was writhing in agony unless we shock him AGAIN?’ or

(2) the idea of defense lawyers seizing the opportunity to taser a client — which we have ALL dreamed of doing.”

Shocking Case: Legal Team Tasers Client [ABA Journal]

Elizabeth Halverson 3 Judge Elizabeth Halverson Liz Halverson Above the Law blog.jpg
Since the last coverage of her on ATL, the Energizer-bunny-esque Judge Elizabeth Halverson has been ordered on the inactive list by the Nevada Commission on Judicial Discipline.
Following an emotional plea by Halverson in a rare television interview, and a similar public plea by two sexy ex-Halverson staffers (a law clerk and a secretary), the hearing transcripts have been released by the Nevada Supreme Court.
The Las Vegas Review-Journal published a story this morning that basically places the final nail in the 425 500 lb jurist’s cavernous coffin career:

District Judge Elizabeth Halverson’s former bailiff testified that she fell asleep daily in court and frequently told him to shoot her husband, according to transcripts of a closed-door hearing that were made public Wednesday.

Yes, you read that right: “frequently told him to shoot her husband.”
(Dozing off on the bench is no big deal. Some highly regarded judges do it all the time.)
The balance of the insanity, after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Another Update on the Large (and Decidedly NOT In Charge) Judge Elizabeth Halverson”

Michael Vick middle finger Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpgGuess we can’t get no respect from the mainstream media. Not even from Fox News, which carries a story that we brought you last month.
Meanwhile, in other Michael Vick developments, lawyers for the Falcons quarterback are working on getting him a plea deal. From the Atlanta Journal Constitution:

Atlanta lawyer Dan Meachum, a member of Vick’s defense team, declined to comment Tuesday on any possible negotiations.

“I stand by Michael Vick,” Meachum said. “He’s a good kid in a bad situation. I’m a dog owner, a dog lover. I would not be involved in this case if I didn’t believe in him.”

And some of his best friends are black Labradors!
S.C. Inmate Hits Michael Vick With ‘$63 Billion’ Lawsuit [Fox News via Drudge Report]
Vick attorneys negotiating plea [Atlanta Journal-Constitution]
(Much) Earlier: Lawsuit of the Day: Vick’s A Defendant In A Federal Civil Suit, Too

X Men small X Summers X Summer Associates Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpgWe don’t know whether our latest summer associate superhero is also the Clifford Chance Lolita. Whether or not they’re one and the same, it’s still a worthwhile story:
1. Superhero name: Vampire Girl
2. Special power(s): Sucks your blood, eats your heart out.
3. Summered: Clifford Chance, summer 2007.
4. Claim to fame: “At the now infamous Clifford Chance Corporate Reception on July 12, 2007, this summer got drunk and started biting / making out with random people. The next day, she sent out the email pasted below.”

From: [Redacted]
Sent: Friday, July 13, 2007 3:12 PM
To: #NYC: Summers
Subject: apologies

To anyone I bit last night. It was my birthday, I drank far too much, and I tend to be aggressive and bite people. If you were a victim, you can be assured that I am not rabid.

[Redacted]
Summer Associate (not yet admitted to the bar)
Clifford Chance US LLP

Not rabid? Hopefully she’s not going into litigation.
5. What happened to her: Nothing; she has her offer.
The usual rules apply: please do NOT name this former SA, or speculate about her identity, in the comments.
If you have a summer associate story for us, please review our submission guidelines, and then email us. Thanks.
Earlier: Prior ATL coverage of summer associates (scroll down)

Wesley William Wimber pro se Montana Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpgGotta love those pro se litigants in Montana — and their dads, too. From the Billings Gazette:

Bond was set at $50,000 Friday for a man accused of attacking three police officers in a county courtroom as his father reportedly egged him on.

The officers were summoned to District Court in downtown Billings on Thursday after Wesley William Wimber shouted profanities at Judge Russell Fagg, court documents said.

In a confrontation that unfolded after a ruling by Fagg, the man allegedly charged one of the officers while his father shouted encouragement from the back of the courtroom, yelling, “Take ‘em, Wes! Take ‘em!”

No, we’re not making this up. The alleged assailant really is named “Wesley William Wimber.” And the presiding judge really is a Fagg.
So what gave rise to this disorder in the court?

Prosecutors said the melee broke out Thursday at the end of a custody matter in Fagg’s courtroom involving Wimber’s daughter. When Fagg ordered that Wimber allow his daughter’s mother visitation with the 4-year-old, Wimber called out, “Bite me, your honor!”

Very nice. If you’re going to tell a judge to “bite you,” be sure to add “Your Honor.” Then it’s all good.
(We’re reminded of McDermott Will & Emery partner William P. Smith, who suggested to a judge that she might be “a few french fries short of a Happy Meal.” The fact that he prefaced the suggestion “with respect,” and addressed the judge as “Your Honor,” didn’t save him from her wrath.)
Man charged in courtroom melee [Billings Gazette]

X Men small X Summers X Summer Associates Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpgAt large law firms around the country, summer associate programs are nearing their end. But we still have a decent supply of summer associate stories. If you can add to our cache, please review our submission guidelines, and then email us.
This latest SA tale is, like that of Aquagirl or Jonas Blank, something of a classic. As a result, most of you have probably heard it already. But for those of you who haven’t, here it is:
1. Superhero name: The IncrediPaul(Hastings) Hulk
2. Special power: Ability to transform from a mild-mannered South Asian fellow into a raging, belligerent a**hole — with the aid of just a few drinks.
3. Summered: Paul Hastings, Los Angeles, summer 2006.
4. Claim to fame: This narrative is a bit lengthy — but it’s worth it. Check it out, after the jump.

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