Violence

* Two Biglaw firms and their even bigger revenue meltdowns: Patton Boggs and Bingham McCutcheon have posted the most dramatic revenue declines revealed thus far by Am Law. [Wall Street Journal (sub. req.)]

* Dewey know why this malpractice case is being brought against an ex-LeBoeuf Lamb partner? You know your case is screwed if one of the questions the judge asks you is “[W]hy are you here?” [Am Law Daily]

* Those who remain at Heenan Blaikie, the imploding Canadian Biglaw firm, are pretty “pissed off” they haven’t received word on their severance packages. So much for that “orderly wind down,” eh. [Law Times]

* Career alternatives for former Biglaw attorneys now allegedly include breaking and entering and assaulting state delegate’s wives. We’ll probably have more information on this juicy story later today. [NBC29 WVIR]

* If you’re in the process of applying to law school and you’re taking all of your advice from online forums, then you’ll probably get in everywhere you apply. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News & World Report]

The craziest things happen during the course of litigation in Texas. From threatening to enlarge opposing counsels’ assholes and forcing associates to spy on jurors to using terms like “c*nt” and “dumb sh*t” when referring to colleagues and calling partners “uppity bitches,” things can get a little loco in the Lone Star State.

Bad behavior like this is usually on the part of the lawyers themselves, not their clients. But maybe the clients have decided to take some cues from their lawyers. In Texas, clients now think it’s cool to threaten to anally rape testifying deponents, question lawyers’ sexual orientation, threaten to fight them on the record, and show up to videotaped depositions wearing t-shirts emblazoned with multiple f-bombs.

We always knew that things could get a little wild during depositions, but not this wild….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Crazy Texan Litigant Threatens To Beat Up Lawyer, Rape Deponent”

Judge Diarmuid O’Scannlain (my former boss)

* Virginia is for lovers — gay and straight alike. Judge Arenda L. Wright Allen (E.D. Va.) just struck down the state’s ban on same-sex marriage (but stayed her ruling pending appeal). Happy Valentine’s Day! [Washington Post]

* The Ninth Circuit, in an opinion by Judge Diarmuid O’Scannlain, issued a major Second Amendment ruling. Is it correct, and what will happen next? Professor Eugene Volokh shares his thoughts. [Volokh Conspiracy; Volokh Conspiracy]

* Which leading law firms are trying to make the Comcast/Time Warner Cable monstrosity into reality? [American Lawyer]

* Did a Biglaw firm make a big-time mistake by blowing a deadline to appeal a $40 million verdict? [Law360 (sub. req.)]

* Speaking of screw-ups, making them in the e-discovery realm can be costly — a lesson that California is learning the hard way, to the tune of $32 million. [ACEDS]

* Former New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin thought he’d be acquitted; he thought wrong. [ABA Journal]

* George Washington wasn’t a member of the one of the 8 magic groups — but his story still illustrates the truth of The Triple Package (affiliate link), according to Washington biographer Logan Beirne. [Fox News]

* Authorities have made an arrest for the package bombing that killed a retired Tennessee lawyer and his wife. [CNN]

George Zimmerman and DMX

DMX has promised to “beat [George Zimmerman's] ass,” but no contract or paperwork has been signed or agreed to yet.

Domenick Nati, a spokesperson for DMX, commenting on the upcoming “celebrity” boxing match scheduled to occur this March between the ex-neighborhood watchman and the washed-up rapper.

If you work for a white-shoe firm, don’t let your messy personal life make scuff marks on your fancy footwear. For example, if you were to decide to stalk your ex-girlfriend, then you’d need to keep it on the down low. You can’t just toss a dog tracker into her purse, take creepy pictures of her while she sleeps, get sued for $4 million, and expect the resulting lawsuit to get ignored by the tabloids.

These are just some of the allegations lodged against an Ivy League associate who hails from a successful Am Law 100 firm. You’ve got to see the rest of his ex-girlfriend’s claims to believe them….

Please note the UPDATES to this post, found below.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Biglaw Associate Accused In ‘Three-Year Reign Of Terror’ Against Ex-Girlfriend”

Is the internet good or evil? Well, neither — the internet, just like the information you find on it, is really what you make of it. Some people use information for good purposes, and some use it for bad.

Here at Above the Law, we tend to see the internet as a force for good. We use our bandwidth on the web to entertain and to educate. Our view is that, in general, more information is good. With more information, people can make better choices about their lives and careers. Should I go to law school? If so, which law school? And what about law firms? Which firms are the best places to work?

But you can use the internet for anything, really. For some folks, to quote the popular song from the musical Avenue Q, The Internet Is For Porn — and so much more, from the shady to the downright illegal….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “LegalTech 2014: The Internet Is For Porn (And Drugs, Contract Killings, And Other Illegal Activity)”

We’ve talked about Dave Chappelle’s classic When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong, the routine where some poor schlub decides to stand up for themselves and ends up making things much, much worse. Attorneys fall into this trap less often than the average American, but when they do, the results are always over-the-top.

And today’s story is no exception. On New Year’s Day, a personal injury attorney allegedly took things too far after another man made a mildly flirty joke. The attorney then faced a choice: he could exhibit a vague sense of humor, or he could keep it real. With a steak knife.

You know where this is going…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Personal Injury Attorney Accused Of Stabbing Man With Steak Knife — Hey, Anything To Drum Up Business”

In a sad yet crazy story, a law firm partner was shot and killed after barricading himself in his luxury condo’s lobby and opening fire on the police. Very few details are available at the time. Indeed, what remotely comprehensible motive could there be for building a mini-fortress in your lobby and baiting the police into a firefight.

Making matters worse, the partner’s young daughter was in the lobby the whole time while he embarked on the strange behavior that ultimately led to his death….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Law Firm Partner Gunned Down By Police In Bizarre Firefight”

Judge Carlos Cortez

The allegations made by the complainant are false. If necessary, it will be shown in the proper forum that Judge Cortez actually saved her life. Judge Cortez will continue to serve the State of Texas and Dallas County like he has for the last seven years – as an award winning jurist who handles his court with courtesy and dignity to all who seek Justice.

Andrew Korn, attorney for Judge Carlos Cortez, in a statement given to media outlets in defense of his client. Cortez was arrested and stands accused of strangling his girlfriend and threatening to “f**king kill [her]“ during a domestic violence incident in his home.

(Keep reading to see the juicy police report and the judge’s allegations.)

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Judge Offers ‘Laughable’ Criminal Defense To Choking Charges”

The federal judiciary thanks you.

* Barack Obama is trailing George W. Bush when it comes to leaving his mark on the federal courts, but that’s probably because Senate Democrats didn’t go nuclear quickly enough. [Blog of Legal Times]

* When it comes to 2013, one thing’s for sure: it wasn’t boring. Many of this year’s movers and shakers hailed from top Am Law 100 law firms — like Ted Cruz (formerly of Morgan Lewis). [American Lawyer]

* John Ray III isn’t going to sit back and allow a jury to shut down his discrimination and retaliation case against Ropes & Gray. He filed a notice of appeal last week, and he’s pissed off. [National Law Journal]

* Utah has until the end of January to figure out how it’s going to go about defending its same-sex marriage ban before the Tenth Circuit. Just a thought: the “it’s still gay, even if the balls don’t touch” theory of law isn’t going to cut it. [Deseret News]

* A lawyer for the Texas judge accused of strangling his girlfriend is offering media outlets a superb defense story on behalf of his client. He wasn’t trying to kill her, he was trying to save her! [New York Daily News]

* Here’s some advice on how to submit your law school application on time. If you don’t know how to meet a deadline, you’re going to make a great lawyer. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News & World Report]

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