Wall Street

Weil Gotshal Produces The Mother Of All “We’re Awesome” Emails

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Weil.gifWe’ve been covering law firms’ attempts to reassure associates in these troubled times. Because of their respected bankruptcy practice, we’ve assumed that all was well at Weil.

Friday we received word that Weil isn’t just doing “well.” Apparently, “global financial crisis” is how you spell “straight cash homey” at Weil Gotshal. From firm chairman Stephen J. Dannhauser:

To date, our representation of Lehman Brothers Holdings has engaged a large swathe of the firm, more than 100 attorneys and staff working on the many matters this bankruptcy, the largest in US history, has spawned. In addition to the large team providing bankruptcy counsel to Lehman, Weil Gotshal’s corporate team has already aided the company in the structuring and execution of the two largest transactions ever in a Chapter 11 proceeding. These include the sale of substantially all of Lehman’s US investment banking business, its headquarters, two support facilities, and the broker-dealer business (including the real estate and infrastructure necessary to preserve that business) to Barclays, as well as the sale of certain investment-management assets, including the Neuberger Berman division, to private-equity firms Bain Capital and Hellman & Friedman.

We’ve noticed a paucity of Weil associates participating in our comment threads, but clearly that is because they are all very busy reupholstering their seat cushions with dollar bills.

Are we sure Weil will just be a bonus “follower” this fall?

Read the full memo after the jump.

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Pictures Of Our Times

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There are many strange visuals floating around during these days of financial uncertainty. Here are some interesting ones we saw over the weekend.

The first is from Sheppard Mullin‘s new Menlo Park office:

shepard mullins temp office.JPG

That is one way of saying “we have no clue how long we’re going to be here.”

Meanwhile, others exact pictorial revenge after the jump.

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A Little Bit Of Knowledge Is A Hilarious Thing

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live free or die.jpgThe market may have already discounted the $700 billion ($840 B) bailout bill, but the legal profession hasn’t even begun to get its hands around this thing.

But while we wait for serious actions to arise from the market implosion, at least we have this crazy dude from “reenactment of 1776” to help us pass the time. This guy is one of the many — mentally unbalanced — souls who makes the internet so much fun. But he has taken a break from his usual calls for a violent proletariat revolution to attack the bailout bill through more “constructive” means. He proposes a class action lawsuit against … well, I’m not sure who exactly. But the point is that he is against it! And he believes that the 13th Amendment provides all the legal cover he requires:

If this bailout is passed, I Larry Bumgarner, from reenactmentof1776.com will try to file papers in Federal Court to get an injunction against this bailout, to stop it, so that we can protect the lower and middleclass from thirteenth amendment violations. This I would like to turn into a class action suit with members of the lower and middleclass. If you would be interested in joining a class action lawsuit please respond to this site with your e-mail address.


I don’t like,

I don’t like,

I don’t like Mondays.

It gets so much better after the jump.

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Manna Is Real: The Bailout Passes

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The Bailout just passed the House: 263 – 171.

The party breakdown. Democrats: 172 – 63. Republicans: 91-108.

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The “Fight Club” Solution

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credit crunch fight club.jpgIf there is one factor that ties most attorneys into the current market crisis: it’s called “law school debt.” Almost every young associate has a significant amount of money they still owe their hyper-expensive professional school (and if you don’t, I hope your trust fund is tanking right now). For many, that debt drives them into the open arms of Biglaw.

The National Law Journal reports that current and prospective law students are about to get credit-crunched:

But because banks are doling out less money to lenders, private loans are getting harder to come by, said New York Law School Dean Richard Matasar, who is also chairman of the board of directors of education lender Access Group.

That means it will be more difficult for law school graduates to secure private loans, and graduates will likely pay higher interest rates if they do get a private loan to bridge the gap between graduation and the bar.

Recent law graduates also will be entering the workforce during a slow economy, which means they may spend more time in the job search process.

We’ve reported that some firms have pushed back their starting dates, which will likely cause recent graduates to rely even more heavily on loans.

But as with everything else going on in the markets right now, nobody really knows what is going to happen. The WSJ Law Blog asks a pertinent question:

We know that those bar-takers with BigLaw jobs lined up can ask their firms for a hefty advance on their first year salaries. But others must rely on private loans to fund the two or three month stretch between graduation and the bar exam. We’re curious: Have rates on those loans gone up? Are post-grads still relying on them?

After the jump, it’s time to talk about solutions:

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New Practice Groups Coming to a Firm Near You

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wall street bull backside.jpgIt doesn’t always feel like it, but the legal profession is actually very recession proof. Deal work may be drying up, but the Good Book says “Whenever Hank Paulson closes a door, somewhere He opens a window.”

Of course, open windows are pretty dangerous if you work in a Manhattan skyscraper these days, but the National Law Journal peers through the looking glass anyway:

“A year ago we were writing deals, figuring out how to grow businesses and expand products; now the markets are trying to figure out when the next shoe drops,” said Michael Missal, head of the global financial markets group that K&L Gates unveiled on Monday in Washington.

Despite its neutral name, K&L cited the “global economic crisis” as the reason for launching the group.

It’s amazing what clients will pay for. Can you imagine being a Global Economic Crisis attorney and pitching your services to a client?

CLIENT: We’re broke. We can’t get any credit. I’m going to effing kill Nancy Pelosi and her Mr. Slave.

GEC Partner: Well our firm can offer you the latest counsel on how to navigate through these trying times.

CLIENT: Really? So, how do I get a line of credit right now?

GEC PARTNER: I don’t know.

CLIENT: Well, how can I get around this communist era short-selling ban so I can at least make some money on the side?

GEC PARTNER: I have no idea

CLIENT: Well, what can you tell me?

GEC PARTNER: Here we have this wonderful, interactive map. It clearly indicates where you are AND where Nancy Pelosi is at all times. We’ve marked out various firearms shops along the way.

CLIENT: Isn’t this from Grand Theft Auto IV?

GEC PARTNER: That’ll be $700 please.

Bracewell & Giuliani at least calls a spade a spade after the jump.

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FYI: The Bailout Is So Totally Off

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recession california associate pay raises.jpgWe like to think of ATL as a place where lawyers can get together and discuss the compelling news of the day.

Well, the news of the day is that Wall Street will apparently not be receiving $700 billion dollars to cover their bad investments. The House rejected the bailout plan. The Dow is down by over 400 points as of this writing. And I think I just saw Jimmy Stewart beating the crap out of Mr. Potter.

Really, anytime Robert Reich and Newt Gingrich are agreeing on television, times are strange.

If they’re not going to pass this bailout, then what do you think is going to happen?

This post serves as my official request to start receiving my paycheck in gold bullion.

Update (3:30 PM): The Dow is now down by over 700 points, just over 6 percent. The S&P 500 is now down by almost 100 points, just over 8 percent.

Bailout plan rejected [CNN]

Cantor Blames Pelosi, Boehner Blames Jews [Dealbreaker]

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Legal Eagle Wedding Watch 9.21: I’ll Meltdown With You

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champagne glasses small.jpgEven as the national economy teeters on the brink of collapse, Wall Street’s elite continue to flock to the altar. Click here, here, and here, and imagine what this month has been like for these people. Getting married is stressful enough; we can’t imagine doing it while at the center of a financial meltdown.

In other random New York observations, both of the city’s baseball stadiums will close their doors this fall. Last Sunday’s final game in Yankee Stadium was celebrated with a Sports Illustrated cover and wall-to-wall coverage on ESPN. This Sunday’s game could be the last in Shea Stadium, and the New York Times marks the occasion with a gripping piece on how pilots landing at La Guardia won’t be able to use the place as a landmark anymore.

Here are this week’s couples:

1. Jean Park and Albert Cho

2. Trinity Jackman and Joshua Harlan

3. Edward Pierce and Robert Saltzman

More about our finalists, after the jump.

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Morning Docket 09.26.08

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flipphone.jpg* The bailout is not on. Talks imploded at 10:30 p.m. last night. Congress is back at it today. [New York Times]

* Two-time ATL Lawyer of the Day Jack Thompson, the crazy controversial video game crusader, has been permanently disbarred. [Crave / CNET News]

* Words to live by: Don’t make sex videos. And don’t store said sex videos on your cell phone. [Courthouse News Service]

* A whistleblower suit against Medtronic for perks paid to doctors was filed by the company’s own lawyer. [Minneapolis Star-Tribune]

* The young Indiana Jones has a crushed hand, but no misdemeanor. No DUI charges for Shia LaBeouf after all. [People]

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Skadden Rushes To Citi’s Defense

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citi field skadden.JPGYou’d think Skadden attorneys would have better things to bill Citigroup for than running around after small-time advertisers. But, then again, there are an awful lot of Skadden attorneys.

Citi-Mobile is an advertising company that utilizes trucks as mobile billboards. Citigroup is a large commercial bank that is trying to ride out the current economic downturn. Skadden wants you to know the difference:

The much bigger Citi, which Skadden rather optimistically describes in court docs as “one of the largest and most renowned” banks in the world, is a little bit concerned that the public will think the financial giant decided to buy a bunch of trucks, paint them crazy colors, and make money by marketing roast beef subs and cameras to innocent pedestrians. So they’re asking a court to prohibit Citi-Mobile (and its parent company Citi-Advertising) from using the hallowed “Citi” name.

For those playing along at home, that means Citi wants no part of a mildly annoying advertising campaign, yet they are willing to pay $20M/year for 20 years to lord their name over the New York Mets? How long before Skadden sues Mets owner Fred Wilpon for non-performance based on the theory that Citi contracted to name a “baseball field,” instead of a cute park where little boys go to choke themselves to death?

Or maybe they’ll just sue City Wok?

Read the full complaint here.

Citi’s Lawyers Never Sleep [Citylife]

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