You'd be surprised by how often we receive requests for financial advice around here (even though that's really more the province of Dealbreaker). E.g., should I refinance my law school loans? How much should I be saving for retirement? I've just been laid off; what should I do with my 401(k)?

These questions lie beyond our expertise. So we've put together a panel of experts to offer insight into current market conditions and what they mean for your personal finances. This free event is taking place on MONDAY, JUNE 29, at 6:30 PM.

The roundtable will be preceded by a sunset cocktail hour, in a room with stunning Central Park views (see above). So come enjoy free drinks with the ATL editors (Lat, Elie, Kash and Marin); pick up some complimentary swag, including Above the Law t-shirts and gavel-shaped stress balls; and then sit down for an informative panel discussion:

MARKET VOLATILITY AND YOUR FINANCES

When: Monday, June 29, 2009, at 6:30 p.m.

Where: 1345 Avenue of the Americas, New York, New York

Speakers:

• Sam Mari, VP, AllianceBernstein
• Bob Stansbury, VP, AXA Equitable
• Deborah O'Neil, J.D., CFPTM, CLU, VP AXA Equitable's Advanced Markets Team
• David Lat, Above the Law (moderator)

Cost: The event is free and open to the public -- feel free to bring friends -- but RSVPs are required. Please email rsvp@breakingmedia.com.

The event is less than a week away, and although admission is free, seats are limited. We've already received a fair number of responses -- so if you think you might be interested in going, please rsvp to save a spot for yourself.

Hope to see you there!

"I invested with Bernie Madoff. I knew Bernie Madoff. Bernie Madoff robbed me blind. Marc Dreier, you're no Bernie Madoff."

But Dreier is getting a little closer to attaining the Master's stature, if government allegations are accurate. From the WSJ Law Blog:

New York lawyer Marc Dreier allegedly defrauded investors out of approximately $700 million, a far higher figure than previously had surfaced in the criminal case, according to an amended indictment unveiled Tuesday.

The attorney was indicted in January on conspiracy and fraud charges for allegedlly selling fictitious promissory notes to hedge funds.

Previously, prosecutors had claimed Dreier sold almost $400 million in fictitious notes. Now, according to the latest indictment, the attorney stands accused of peddl[ing] almost $700 million in notes to 13 different hedge funds and three individuals, whose names were not identified in the filing.

Good for Dreier. Why should guys like Madoff and Robert Allen Stanford have all the fun? A haul of $750 million begins to approach respectability among Wall Street fraudsters.

With New Indictment, Government Cranks up the Heat on Marc Dreier [WSJ Law Blog]

Earlier: Prior ATL coverage of Marc Dreier

This isn't really our beat, but Dealbreaker has the full video of smackdown Jon Stewart gave Jim Cramer on The Daily Show last night. It's great television YouTube.

Granted, Stewart's grasp of macroeconomics is not great. But it is significantly better than Bill Maher's (who asked Erin Burnett last week why "growing" was important for the economy). And picking on CNBC over the financial crisis kind of like picking on the ABA for doing nothing to stem the tide of legal layoffs. (Wait a minute, it's nothing like that. What is the ABA waiting for, the freaking Bat Signal?)

But, if you ever wanted to see what it looks like for a grown man to put his foot up the ass of an annoying man, you'll enjoy this clip. Part one is below, click over to Dealbreaker for parts two and three:

Dealbreaker has the rest.

So.... Here's The Thing....

It's kind of like what Collective Soul said a decade ago, when things were just fantastic:

Are these times contagious?
I'm never been this bored before.
Is this the prize I've waited for?

These days, it seems like all my friends are depressed on account of the Depression. (Or the "recession," for those ostriches who choose to bury their heads in the sand.) It certainly doesn't help that CNN keeps slapping Obama into FDR's car or that every reporter declares 600,000 jobs were lost today or the "Dow hasn't dipped this low since 1929." Good lord. No wonder no one is spending. I've stopped reading the papers. It's all just widespread panic. Pretty soon they'll be bringing polio back, too.

And the law firms. Wow. Who ever would have thought those blue-blooded Ivy Leaguers who were doing filings and writing law review articles about all those "complex financial instruments" would now be unemployed? And each day there are more and more layoffs. Where are the acquisitions? And where are freaking derivatives? I mean you always need lawyers, right? And what: associates doing paralegal work? They don't know how to shepardize, much less tab and hole-punch briefing books. Geez.

The Depression takes its toll, after the jump.

* If you don't have hooters you can't work there. Hooters discriminates against men by refusing to hire them, a class action argues. Get over it sissies, and grow some boobs. [Courthouse News Service]

* In less pressing news...President-elect Barack Obama will issue an executive order to close Guantanamo within days of entering the White House according to senior advisors. [BBC News]

* Annoyed by your loud neighbors? At least you don't live on 64th and Lexington next to Berny Madoff (well actually you probably do, I bet those apts. are sweet) His neighbors are incensed by yesterday's decision to keep Madoff out on bail. Meanwhile, Fairfield Greenwhich has been sued three times by Madoff investors. [Bloomberg.com]

* I served my country, and all I got was special judicial help. An Illinois county is launching a special court to try veterans who commit non-violent crimes. [The Associated Press]

* Obama asked Congress for the second-half of the bailout money so he can stabilize the economy. [The International Herald Tribune]

It's a new year, and for Biglaw that usually means it is time for firms to go out and get a loan.

Obviously, this year it might be a little more difficult than usual. The American Lawyer is reporting that the credit crisis is coming to a partnership near you:

Law firms, typically considered good credit risks, are now experiencing the toughest and most expensive lending conditions in years. "Even good borrowers, prime borrowers, are having more restrictions and more difficulties than they used to," says Altman Weil consultant James Cotterman.

Most firms will still be able to get loans to cover their immediate expenses. But to do so they will have to submit to more vigorous financial vetting than they did in the past. And, of course, it's going to be a whole lot more expensive to borrow money:

Meanwhile, firms that didn't secure a credit line early last year, and who went looking for it in recent months, discovered that credit wasn't cheap anymore. "We just took out some lines from several different banks," says the head of one firm, who asked for anonymity to speak frankly. The firm let its credit lines expire in 2003 and relied instead on capital contributions from partners. The banks used to give the firm credit for free. "Now we had to pay for the lines," he says.

Rates have doubled, from below 1 percent in 2007 to 2-3 percent today for the top 50 firms, says Andrew Johnman, head of professional services at Barclays plc. "If they need additional money or if they need an amendment to their credit facility, then we reprice it to current market pricing," he says.

Apparently, banks are worried that additional firms will dissolve like Heller and Thelen. More on that after the jump.

Because TPW knows a thing or two about crisis and rescue plans.

Seriously, though, it's a good sign for the firm, even if it may not be a lucrative engagement -- the Treasury press release reports that "total cost for the firm's services is not expected to exceed approximately $500,000." It raises the possibility that rumors of the firm's demise are greatly -- well, maybe not greatly, but somewhat -- exaggerated.

Treasury Hires Legal Firm Under the Emergency Economic Stabilization Act
[U.S. Department of the Treasury (press release)]

* California's Supreme Court agreed to hear the case against Prop. 8. [Reuters]

* For all the associates who go crazy working late into the night in dark conference rooms dreaming of embezzling money from the firm--let this be a lesson to you. Employee Angela Marie Dees was arrested for stealing 1.67 million dollars from the California law firm Moore and Waxler. The crazy thing? The firm didn't even notice until they did an audit. [mysuncoast.com]

* "Stung by outsize investment losses, some of the nation's biggest companies are pushing Congress to roll back rules requiring them to put more money into their pension funds, just two years after President Bush signed a law meant to strengthen the pension system." [NYT]

* A jury heard opening statements yesterday in the MySpace hoax case, the one where the suburban mother used a fake alias to terrorize a 13-year-old who killed herself as a result. [ABC]

* Even though bankers basically caused a world-wide recession causing thousands of lawyers to lose their jobs (thanks a lot), at least Barclay's is giving the litigators some love. Barclay's is suing a hedge fund for hiding $150 million in investments. [Bloomberg]

* Yesterday was National Toilet Day. Everybody who works on Wall Street already knew that. [UPI]

Today, 50,000 Citigroup employees learned that their services would no longer be needed. I spent the weekend at the gun range working on the skills that will matter in the "new economy," but law firms partners spent the time jockeying for business. Apparently, not everybody has accepted the post-apocalyptic reality staring us all in the face.

But let's play their game; let's assume that there will be "money" in the future that can still be traded for goods and services. Which law firms are positioned to pitch in with new Citigroup work?

Because it's not going to be Wachtell. AmLaw Daily reminds us that Wachtell is representing Wells Fargo in litigation against Citi. And Sullivan & Cromwell is representing the Wachovia side of that Citi-Wachovia-Wells ménage à screwed.

Given today's news, it's not surprising that Citi's board spent most of the weekend trying to pick a top law firm to cover their backside:

Citi's board is apparently fighting over which Am Law 100 firm free of conflicts it should retain as counsel.

Quoting an anonymous "person close to the situation," the Times reports that "Citigroup's board has been bickering over seemingly small issues, including which white-shoe law firm will represent it. ..."

The contenders, after the jump.

This weekend, the Times reported that the economic crisis is taking a toll on University endowments:

VC firms typically make "capital calls" to these investors whenever they need more money to pump into their startups. However now rumors are circulating that Columbia University's endowment fund is illiquid -- that is, it can't raise the cash it needs to fund current commitments.? Harvard, meanwhile, is reportedly trying to sell a third of its private equity portfolio at a steep discount in a "secondary offering."

One of my favorite pieces of useless information is that the largest "endowment" for a non-profit institution is the Catholic Church. The second largest? Harvard University. So I'm pretty sure that Harvard trying to sell off a 3rd of anything is the little known fifth horseman of the apocalypse:

When the Lamb opened the fifth seal I saw before me a Crimson horse. And its rider was named Deregulation, and Consumer Fear and Capital Retreat followed close behind. They were given power over the rich of the earth to kill by the crunch, the short-sell, and the capital call.

The point is that private universities, and therefore many top law schools, will have to start dealing with the after effects of the financial crisis very soon. Hiring freezes and financial aid restrictions could soon follow.

But public institutions could feel the pain immediately.

Read about how the economic crisis is effecting one public school after the jump.

The latest bailout news is making Simpson Thacher's $300,000 contract to advise the Treasury Department on the $700 billion bailout plan look even more like chump change.

We wrote before about firms that were offered bailout love. Well, Reuters reports that Hughes Hubbard and Squire Sanders are going to get mad bailout love, to the tune of $11 million:

Hughes Hubbard & Reed LLP and Squire Sanders & Dempsey LLP have each been awarded a contract for roughly $5.5 million to help shepherd about 2,000 financial firms through the program that would see the government buy company shares, the Treasury Department said on Monday.

Looks like Hughes Hubbard's strategizing with the acquisition of boutique bankruptcy firm Luskin, Stern & Eisler may have paid off.

Two law firms to help U.S. Treasury dole out aid [Reuters]
The End of Bailout Transparency Already? [BailoutSleuth via WSJ Law Blog]

Earlier: The Firms That Were Offered Bailout Love
Musical Chairs: Hughes Hubbard Is Ready For Some Action

* Fired U.S. Attorney David Iglesias speaks out against the DOJ's ACORN probe. [Talking Points Memo]

* Judges in China refuse to take lawsuits over tainted milk. [Associated Press]

* They may cause rashes. And brain cancer. But we still love them. [Reuters]

* Grand jury investigations for Lehman, in New York and New Jersey. [CNN Money]

* Pfizer settles its painkiller suits for $894 million. [Wall Street Journal (subscription)]

* 24 Hour Fitness hates poor people. [Courthouse News Service]

* David Lat was in Charlottesville this week talking to UVA law students about job hunting. He advised going off the beaten track. [Virginia Law]

Today, every associate's worst nightmare came to a merciful end in a New York Bankruptcy Court.

The nightmare started for a first-year Cleary Gottlieb associate on the night of September 18th. The associate was called in for some extra muscle on the Barclays acquisition of Lehman assets. At the request of a second-year associate, the first-year reformatted an Excel spreadsheet of critical contracts to be assumed and assigned in bankruptcy on the closing date of the Lehman/Barclays sale. Predictably, this work was done long after normal business hours, just after 11:30 p.m.

On September 19th, Cleary produced the list of contracts based on the associates' work the night before.

The problem was that the list contained 179 contracts that should not have been included. The Lehman/Barclays sale closed on September 22nd, with the over inclusive list of contracts.

My stomach gets tied up in knots writing that.

The resolution after the jump.

Bloomberg News is reporting that the train wreck formerly known as Lehman Brothers filed an application to pay Weil Gotshal attorneys a whole boatload of cash:

The investment bank asked for court approval to pay $650 to $950 an hour for partners and counsel, $355 to $595 for associates and $155 to $295 for paraprofessionals.

A year ago, the WSJ Law Blog did a report on the Thousand-Dollar Bar. There were only six lawyers on that list. So while $950 an hour isn't astronomical, it's clear that Lehman is getting the most expensive bankruptcy money can buy.

At the upper end, $595 per associate hour is pretty good money as well.

Whenever we mention that Weil could be a bonus leader this season a smart commenter always disagrees:

Weil will never be a bonus leader because there is concern at the firm that it would seem unsightly by the firm's bankruptcy clients to lead the market with bonuses

Good point. Still, there is a lot of money floating around Weil these days. Are you sure that they won't trickle cash rewards down on associates?

We'll wait and see.

Weil May Get $950 an Hour for Lehman Bankruptcy Work (Update1) [Bloomberg]
The Law Blog Thousand-Dollar Bar [WSJ Law Blog]

Earlier: Weil Gotshal Produces The Mother Of All "We're Awesome" Emails

We previously reported that firms are starting to launch global financial crisis practice groups.

But we wondered what (if anything) those groups would be able to do for their clients.

According to the National Law Journal, clients are just as confused about the bailout as everybody else. Even the ABA doesn't actually know what to make of what Congress just passed:

Carlton Fields, which as nearly 300 lawyers throughout Florida and Georgia, is forming a "recovery task force" comprised of 15 to 20 lawyers. The task force was first proposed to be called a "bailout task force." It will focus on "what kinds of opportunities will be available with the congressional plan," said Jay Steinman, chairman of the firm's Miami real estate and finance group.

The firm has been asked by the American Bar Association to create a "white paper" on what the bailout plans means. The analysis will be completed this week by Carlton Fields partner Sandra Porter, and the firm will do weekly updates.

Is it possible that a large part of the legal community is waiting for Carlton Fields to tell them what is actually happening? It's been a weird month.

In face of economic crisis, law firm clients range from panicky to opportunistic [National Law Journal]

Earlier: New Practice Groups Coming to a Firm Near You

We've been covering law firms' attempts to reassure associates in these troubled times. Because of their respected bankruptcy practice, we've assumed that all was well at Weil.

Friday we received word that Weil isn't just doing "well." Apparently, "global financial crisis" is how you spell "straight cash homey" at Weil Gotshal. From firm chairman Stephen J. Dannhauser:

To date, our representation of Lehman Brothers Holdings has engaged a large swathe of the firm, more than 100 attorneys and staff working on the many matters this bankruptcy, the largest in US history, has spawned. In addition to the large team providing bankruptcy counsel to Lehman, Weil Gotshal's corporate team has already aided the company in the structuring and execution of the two largest transactions ever in a Chapter 11 proceeding. These include the sale of substantially all of Lehman's US investment banking business, its headquarters, two support facilities, and the broker-dealer business (including the real estate and infrastructure necessary to preserve that business) to Barclays, as well as the sale of certain investment-management assets, including the Neuberger Berman division, to private-equity firms Bain Capital and Hellman & Friedman.

We've noticed a paucity of Weil associates participating in our comment threads, but clearly that is because they are all very busy reupholstering their seat cushions with dollar bills.

Are we sure Weil will just be a bonus "follower" this fall?

Read the full memo after the jump.

There are many strange visuals floating around during these days of financial uncertainty. Here are some interesting ones we saw over the weekend.

The first is from Sheppard Mullin's new Menlo Park office:

That is one way of saying "we have no clue how long we're going to be here."

Meanwhile, others exact pictorial revenge after the jump.

The market may have already discounted the $700 billion ($840 B) bailout bill, but the legal profession hasn't even begun to get its hands around this thing.

But while we wait for serious actions to arise from the market implosion, at least we have this crazy dude from "reenactment of 1776" to help us pass the time. This guy is one of the many -- mentally unbalanced -- souls who makes the internet so much fun. But he has taken a break from his usual calls for a violent proletariat revolution to attack the bailout bill through more "constructive" means. He proposes a class action lawsuit against ... well, I'm not sure who exactly. But the point is that he is against it! And he believes that the 13th Amendment provides all the legal cover he requires:

If this bailout is passed, I Larry Bumgarner, from reenactmentof1776.com will try to file papers in Federal Court to get an injunction against this bailout, to stop it, so that we can protect the lower and middleclass from thirteenth amendment violations. This I would like to turn into a class action suit with members of the lower and middleclass. If you would be interested in joining a class action lawsuit please respond to this site with your e-mail address.

I don't like,


I don't like,


I don't like Mondays.

It gets so much better after the jump.

The Bailout just passed the House: 263 - 171.

The party breakdown. Democrats: 172 - 63. Republicans: 91-108.

If there is one factor that ties most attorneys into the current market crisis: it's called "law school debt." Almost every young associate has a significant amount of money they still owe their hyper-expensive professional school (and if you don't, I hope your trust fund is tanking right now). For many, that debt drives them into the open arms of Biglaw.

The National Law Journal reports that current and prospective law students are about to get credit-crunched:

But because banks are doling out less money to lenders, private loans are getting harder to come by, said New York Law School Dean Richard Matasar, who is also chairman of the board of directors of education lender Access Group.

That means it will be more difficult for law school graduates to secure private loans, and graduates will likely pay higher interest rates if they do get a private loan to bridge the gap between graduation and the bar.

Recent law graduates also will be entering the workforce during a slow economy, which means they may spend more time in the job search process.

We've reported that some firms have pushed back their starting dates, which will likely cause recent graduates to rely even more heavily on loans.

But as with everything else going on in the markets right now, nobody really knows what is going to happen. The WSJ Law Blog asks a pertinent question:

We know that those bar-takers with BigLaw jobs lined up can ask their firms for a hefty advance on their first year salaries. But others must rely on private loans to fund the two or three month stretch between graduation and the bar exam. We're curious: Have rates on those loans gone up? Are post-grads still relying on them?

After the jump, it's time to talk about solutions: