Weddings

Professor Philip Bobbitt

In 2008, we profiled celebrity law professor Philip Bobbitt. Professor Bobbitt has a breathtaking résumé, featuring degrees from Princeton (A.B.), Yale (J.D.), and Oxford (Ph.D.); distinguished government service, for both Democratic and Republican administrations; and numerous acclaimed books, including Constitutional Fate: Theory of the Constitution (1982), The Shield of Achilles: War, Peace and the Course of History (2002), and Terror and Consent: the Wars for the Twenty-first Century (2008) (affiliate links). For a very thorough enumeration of his amazing accomplishments, read his excellent Wikipedia page.

Our profile drew heavily upon a New York Observer piece that dubbed him “the James Bond of Columbia Law School.” What did Professor Bobbitt do to earn that sobriquet?

“His mannerisms just kind of ooze a James Bondian kind of quality,” says Vishal Agraharkar, a former [Legal Methods] student and a teaching assistant for this year’s class. “Someone who acts like that in class and outside class we assumed must have just an incredible personal life. James Bond has a hell of a personal life, so he must as well.”

Well, it appears that Professor Bobbitt, 63, does have one heck of a personal life. Over the past few days, we’ve received some rather interesting information about the good professor’s love life. The reports go something like this: “Professor Bobbitt married one of his students! Over the Christmas holiday! She’s a 3L at Columbia Law! And a Turkish princess! They were married at the Supreme Court! By one of the justices!”

As is generally the case with juicy gossip, most of this is true — but some of it is not. Here’s the real story, based on my interview with Professor Bobbitt himself. And wedding photos, of course….

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Morning Docket: 01.30.12

Keeping you unemployed since 2008.

* People like it when the members of the Supreme Court agree with each other, except when the justices forget to tell them exactly what to do. Poor sheeple. [Washington Post]

* If you’re wondering why you can’t get a Biglaw job, it’s because the firms don’t need you. Well, they probably do, but definitely they need their money more. [Wall Street Journal]

* Chadbourne & Parke to 190K square feet: partners seem to be pissy about the move, but this white-shoe firm may soon be a blue-chip tenant at One World Trade Center. [New York Times]

* British blokes like scamming folks. Kevin Steele, a former Mishcon de Reya partner, has been sentenced to more than five years for his role in a $28M fraud scheme. [The Guardian]

* Florida’s former foreclosure king might have been dethroned, but David J. Stern refuses to give up his crown. Say hello to the Five Guys burger king. [Real Time / Palm Beach Post]

* My Fair Wedding? More like My F**ked Wedding. A New York couple is suing celebrity wedding planner David Tutera, alleging that he left them waiting at the altar. [New York Daily News]

Perhaps this is something that you’ve noticed: women who are newly engaged tend to brag about the way their fiancé proposed to them. And whether the proposal was bland or spectacular, it’s all these women seem to want to talk about.

So, what happens when you’ve got two criminal cases pending against you, and your boyfriend is just dying to pop the question? What happens when that same boyfriend has an order of protection against you due to allegations of domestic violence? Is that the kind of backstory you’d want to tell all your friends before spilling the beans on how your fiancé asked for your hand in marriage?

Apparently, the answer to the last question is “yes,” because this unlucky couple’s engagement tale was published in the local paper for all the world to see….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Black Eyes and Bliss: A Courtroom Marriage Proposal, Domestic Violence Style”

If you’re a bride-to-be — and let’s face it, even if you’re not — you’ve probably seen at least a few episodes of TLC’s Say Yes to the Dress. The show features the goings-on at Kleinfeld, one of the premier bridal salons in New York City, where staff members assist brides in their quest to find the perfect wedding dress.

Imagine our surprise when we tuned in to watch the show, and caught a glimpse of a beautiful lawyer searching for a wedding gown. But this was not just any lawyer — this lawyer used to have an action-packed career as a stunt woman. These days, though, she gets all of her action inside of a courtroom.

So who is this stunt woman turned lawyer? Why did she decide to make such a drastic career change? And how did she snag her husband, the general counsel to a Fortune 500 company?

All of this and more, including some glamorous wedding photos, after the jump….

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Todd Remis and Milena Grzibovska (his ex-wife)

Remember Todd Remis? How couldn’t you? He’s the disgruntled groom with a Biglaw daddy whose ridiculous lawsuit against his wedding photographer made national news when it hit the New York Times. Why so ridiculous? Because he decided to sue six years after the wedding and one year prior to his divorce being finalized (and he continued to prosecute the suit even after the divorce).

At first glance, Remis’s suit seemed like a simple contract dispute. But thanks to Above the Law, he acquired the title of “groomzilla,” due to deposition testimony where he stated:

“I need to have the wedding recreated exactly as it was so that the remaining 15 percent of the wedding that was not shot can be shot.”

Many publications took our “groomzilla” title and ran with it, leaving Remis as the butt of many jokes. But now, more than two months after the story first broke, Remis has emerged from hiding to combat the New York Times version of his lawsuit. Remis wants to tell his side of the story, and he’s got a website to prove it….

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This week we’re pretending that it’s not January by looking back at some of the biggest legal weddings of late 2011. There was a lot of muy prestigioso lawyer matrimony in the last part of the year. Before we delve into the January crop of weddings, which — let’s face it — is often subpar, here are some from the fall that we haven’t featured yet.

These are good ones, folks. Think Rhodes Scholars. Think SCOTUS clerks.

These are our finalists:

Lacey Schwartz and Antonio Delgado

Trisha Anderson and Charles Newman

Cate Edwards and Trevor Upham

Get the scoop on these couples, plus even more lawyer newlyweds, after the jump.

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'Til billable hours requirements do we part.

Since getting engaged, I’ve been wondering whether we should even bother trying to get into the New York Times wedding section. I’m sure that almost every newly engaged couple has similar thoughts, especially the blushing bridezillas in training. After all, the NYT wedding section is the place to announce your upcoming nuptials. Being featured in those hallowed pages is viewed as the ultimate sign of marital prestige.

You literally cannot go wrong with a write-up in the NYT wedding section (unless, of course, you end up with a Sex and the City situation and it looks like you’re a woman with a Hitler-esque mustache). So is there an easy way to get into the esteemed wedding section?

As proven by our very own Legal Eagle Wedding Watch, lawyers seem to have been featured in abundance. But that’s just the first part of the equation, according to a new demographics study….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Easiest Way to Get into the NYT Wedding Section? Be an ‘Elite’ Lawyer”

* Happy American Censorship Day! Sign these petitions in celebration so you can keep your internet the way you like it — full of infringing and fabulous content. [Volokh Conspiracy]

* A prospective law student got married at Zuccotti Park this weekend. Best protest wedding ever? I guess the honeymoon ended after they were evicted. [The Stir]

* Before you waste your tears crying over how much your fantasy team sucks, you should probably check and see whether it’s even legal to play. [Legal Blitz]

* Chase is giving away over $3M in grants for small charities, so why not take a second and vote for our friends over at Ms. JD? [Chase Community Giving]

* Using free beer to lure criminals into an arrest trap should be a violation of your right against self-incrimination. They should at least be able to drink it before the cuffs go on. [Legal Blog Watch]

* Have you ever wondered why barristers wear black? Yeah, neither have I. [Futility Closet]

* The attorneys for Justin Bieber’s alleged baby mama, Mariah Yeater, have pulled out. Just like the Biebs should’ve done. Allegedly. [Improper]

* Regular twelve-step programs are for the uninspired. Here’s one that only true professionals will be able to survive. [Constitutional Daily]

Morning Docket: 11.15.11

Kim Kardashian

* Deborah Batts, the first openly gay judge to serve on the federal bench, got married this weekend. We hope she doesn’t become the first openly gay federal judge to get divorced. [New York Times]

* Things are getting hairy for Kim Kardashian, and not just because she’s Armenian. A hair removal company is suing her, saying she’s lying about how she gets all of that hair off her body. [Fox News]

* Lori David: she’s every teenage boy’s dream, and every mother’s nightmare. A hot Texas mom has been banned from the internet after sexting naked pictures to her son’s friend. [Daily Mail]

Let’s see what else the ladies are up to this morning….

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Our latest blind item has to do with the extracurricular activities of a prominent law professor….

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Todd Remis and Milena Grzibovska

Ever since his heavy-handed lawsuit against his wedding photographer made national news, litigious groomzilla Todd J. Remis has been the butt of many jokes. And he’s also been the subject of much speculation, to wit: What the heck was he thinking?

The lawsuit seems inane and insane (especially when you consider that Remis and his wife are no longer married). But there must be an explanation, right? Todd Remis — a graduate of Bowdoin College, and a former research analyst at several Wall Street firms — is clearly an intelligent man. And his father, Shepard M. Remis, is a litigation partner at Goodwin Procter. So it’s not as if the aggrieved groom lacked access to wise counsel.

A college friend of Todd Remis tries to shed some light on the situation….

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Morning Docket: 11.07.11

Wave goodbye to that ring.

* According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, 400 new jobs were added to the legal industry last month. Talk about progress. That’s like a fraction of a job for every successful bar exam taker. [Am Law Daily]

* Biglaw firms in Washington, D.C. are racing to get more green. Sadly, we’re not talking about money or bonus news. We’re talking about tree-hugging, environmental hippie design initiatives. [Washington Post]

* Same-sex couples in New Jersey will get the chance to challenge the state’s civil union law. Here’s hoping that my home state gets with the program and allows gay marriage like our New York neighbors. [Star-Ledger]

* “Lawsuit-crazed groomzilla” Todd Remis isn’t happy with the media’s coverage of his wedding woes. We’re “turning this into a circus,” he says. Uh, you did that yourself, buddy. [Huffington Post]

* What’s the best way to get out of a possible 15-year jail sentence? It’s as easy as saying that you’re an illegal immigrant and getting yourself deported to Mexico. [ABC News]

* Kim Kardashian has a pricey clause in her prenup. She’ll have to pay her soon-to-be ex-husband the purchase price of her gaudy engagement ring if she wants to keep it. [New York Post]

Since we first started covering ridiculous wedding-related lawsuits, we’ve found that the vast majority of the plaintiffs have been women — bridezillas, if you will. But we must warn you, readers, that there is another kind of ‘zilla lurking out there.

This elusive creature is known to hide beneath layers of chiffon and tulle, and will emerge only if angered terribly by wedding vendors. By that time, it is too late to escape, and the unknowing victim will face the wrath of the mythical beast known as the groomzilla.

Today, we have terrifying news of a groomzilla sighting in Manhattan. Why so frightening, you ask? Because this groomzilla is armed with the ultimate weapon: his father is a Biglaw partner.

Which firm is championing this groomzilla’s absurd requests?

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It seems like lawyers got a little wild last month, especially the ladies. In fact, our candidate pool for October’s Lawyer of the Month contest was mostly dominated by women. Score one for women’s equality in the legal profession, even if we’re out there embarrassing ourselves.

Only one of our candidates is a man, but given his choice in women, he’d probably love to be surrounded by all of these hot messes.

Last month, we offered you the sex, violence, and stupidity edition of the competition. We suppose you can call this one Lawyer of the Month: Drunk, Slutty, and Naked. Let’s check out our nominees for the month of October….

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Non-Sequiturs: 11.01.11

That headband looked much better on the Childlike Empress in Neverending Story.

* Next week, people in Mississippi are going to vote on whether a clump of cells is a “person.” Are we really going to put this into the hands of people who can’t even spell the name of their own state? [New York Times]

* If you’re a trial lawyer, even imaginary friends will do. [Underdog]

* Finally, something entertaining and informative from a law professor that doesn’t cost $100,000: a series of rich shorts to give junior associates enough basics to avoid embarrassment when corporate assignments are handed out at the firm. [YouTube]

* I really wish that this comedian would actually sue Kim Kardashian over her sham marriage. Seriously. Next time, try to stay married until I finish watching your two-part wedding special. [VICE]

* Have you guys been wondering about Juggalo Law’s whereabouts? This might explain his absence. [Hit & Run / Reason]

* I am the 1%. And by that, I mean that I’m probably in the 1% of people who do not give one damn about this social movement. [Actually You're the 47%]

Not surprisingly, we’ve noticed a sharp uptick in same-sex weddings in the NYT since New York legalized gay marriage this summer. If you’re planning your own same-sex celebration, don’t miss this article on “Dressing Two Grooms.” Apparently lesbians are on their own.

Although we don’t have any gay finalists this week, we’ve unintentionally chosen a slate of opposite-sex finalists that looks like a United Colors of Benetton ad campaign. Here are our fabulously diverse contestants:

Mayumi Kawashima and Darius Kharabi
Adiya Dixon and Erin Wiggins
Darpana Sheth and Gregg Nunziata

You can find the juicy details on these couples, plus pictures, after the jump….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Legal Eagle Wedding Watch: Buckeye Edition”

Old people are so cute. From the way they don’t understand how to use modern technology, to the way they cringe at the music of our times, it just makes you want to squeeze their wrinkly, little cheeks.

And old people in love? Well, that’s even cuter. So when we heard about a British couple in their mid-70s who had finally decided to tie the knot, it was a total cuteness overload. But all of the cuteness screeched to a halt when we found out that the loving couple’s special day had been ruined by allegedly over-amplified versions of ABBA songs.

This bride had no desire to be a “Dancing Queen,” and it wasn’t because she might’ve had to use a walker….

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Your wedding day is supposed to be a special occasion filled with joy and happiness. And for that reason, brides across the country are willing to pay top dollar for the best photographer money can buy, to document the entire experience.

From a bride’s pre-wedding hair and makeup session to her walk down the aisle, someone with a camera will be by her side snapping pictures all the way. And I do mean all the way.

Did you ever think that a picture of you in your skivvies would make its way into your wedding album? This lawyerly bride sure didn’t.

She was blushing alright, but with embarrassment….

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Everyone knows that being engaged is kind of like test-driving a car.

If you discover that the fancy car you’ve chosen to take out on the road doesn’t turn left, then you probably don’t want to buy that car. Similarly, if the fancy man you’ve chosen (a doctor, ooh la la) breaks up with you, tries to woo you back with expensive gifts, and then sues you, then you probably don’t want to marry that man.

And when something like this happens in Texas, it’s like watching a real-life episode of Dallas unfold before your eyes….

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Anytime my lawyer friends talk shop, my divorce lawyer friend always has the most interesting stories. A few months ago, a group of us went for happy hour. The conversation turned to a discussion of what we were doing at work. I said that my client was contemplating settlement over his parking lot lawsuit. Everyone yawned. My finance lawyer friend began to talk about securitizing something, but then just stopped talking because she knew her work was even more boring. This trend continued until my divorce lawyer friend talked about a recent trial. The highlights of her story included a lesbian affair and a mail-order bride. We were all rapt.

For that reason, I have wanted to profile a divorce firm for a while. Recently, I was lucky enough to have a conversation with San Francisco family lawyer (I guess they prefer that term) Erik Newton. His firm, Heath Newton LLP, has become a highly regarded boutique law firm that specializes in “Family Building,” “Divorce and Dissolution,” and “Asset Protection”….

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