Welcome to another post in the 2009 Vault 100 open thread series. You all seem to like having the law firms listed in groups of ten, so we'll keep it up. Here are the thirty-something firms from the Vault 100, with prestige scores in parentheses:

31. Fried, Frank, Harris, Shriver & Jacobson LLP (6.461)
32. Freshfields Bruckhaus Deringer LLP (6.327)
33. Akin Gump Strauss Hauer & Feld LLP (6.313)
34. Winston & Strawn LLP (6.275)
35. Quinn Emanuel Urquhart Oliver & Hedges LLP (6.235)
36. Willkie Farr & Gallagher LLP (6.174)
37. Orrick, Herrington & Sutcliffe (6.173)
38. Allen & Overy LLP (6.147)
39. Cadwalader, Wickersham & Taft (6.131)
40. Proskauer Rose LLP (6.102)

Fried Frank and Cadwalader have been on the ATL radar of late. We broke news of staff layoffs at Fried Frank earlier this week, and news of the attorney bloodletting at Cadwalader last month. As noted in Cadwalader's notable perks: "ouch, layoffs." (Speaking of, in going through the Vault 100 list, we've discovered that Vault's definition of "perk" is very different from ours.)

In the comments, the curious can pose questions, and the insiders can share insights. More threads to come.

Earlier: Vault 100 Open Threads - 2009

Last June, the WSJ Law Blog wondered: Are law students emotional wrecks? Here is more evidence -- and there's already quite a lot in these pages -- that the answer to the question is yes.

It started out innocently enough. A legal recruiting assistant at Willkie Farr & Gallagher sent out this email on Friday:

From: [Legal Recruiting Assistant]@willkie.com
Sent: 4/4/2008 9:44:44 AM
To: [2008 Summer Associates]
Subject: Re: Willkie T-Shirts

We hope that the final stretch of your year is going well and that you're looking forward to joining us in a few weeks. Willkie t-shirts are being ordered for all of you, so we'll need you to send your shirt size to us as soon as possible but no later than Friday, April 11 at noon. Please note that we will be placing the final order on that date and that if we do not have your size by then, we will order a large for you.

Because after we stuff you full of summer lunches, like foie gras-producing fowl, that's all you will fit into.

Please reply to this message and provide your name and shirt size in the subject line. You can choose from the following standard men's t-shirt sizes: small, medium, large, x-large, or xx-large. Example: "[Legal Recruiting Assistant], medium."

Willkie hires some pretty smart summer associates -- e.g., Jeremy Blachman, of Anonymous Lawyer fame -- so we don't know why Legal Recruiting Assistant felt the need to provide an example. Or maybe she just wanted to flaunt her status as a "medium"? (Then again, it's not as prestigious as being a size zero.)

Feel free to contact me if you have any questions, and good luck with your upcoming exams. Thank you.
____________________
[redacted]
Legal Recruiting Assistant
Willkie Farr & Gallagher LLP
787 7th Avenue
New York, NY 10019

And then things got.... weird. Read the two super-strange email messages that one member of the summer class sent in response, after the jump.

We're sorry we don't have more associate bonus news to report. Unfortunately, we have to wait for it to happen; we can't just make it up.

So while we wait for more announcements -- it's the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, so we're hoping for some announcements in the afternoon -- let's talk about a related subject: staff bonuses.

In its bonus memo from earlier this month, Willkie Farr & Gallagher announced that it would be paying a special bonus to its administrative staff as well as its associates. And it turns out that Willkie is not alone. We're hearing that Weil, Gotshal & Manges is paying its support staff a special bonus as well.

The Weil special bonus equals one week's base salary. It will go to all support staff: "secretaries, paralegals, litigation support -- the whole nine yards."

The amount is not life-changing; at a week's salary, the bonus equals about 2 percent of base. But it's still a nice move, and something else for Weil paralegals to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.

What other firms besides Willkie and Weil are paying special bonuses to staff? Feel free to discuss in the comments.

And the bonus news just keeps rolling in. Willkie Farr has matched. The memo:

From: The Executive Committee

Sent: Friday, November 02, 2007 4:51 PM

To: ASSOCIATES - NY; ASSOCIATES - DC

Cc: PARTNERS - NY; PARTNERS - DC

Subject: Associate Bonuses

The Executive Committee is pleased to announce the following year end bonuses for associates:

Class of 2007: Year-end bonus of $35,000 (pro-rated)
Class of 2006: Year-end bonus of $35,000; special bonus of $10,000
Class of 2005: Year-end bonus of $40,000; special bonus of $15,000
Class of 2004: Year-end bonus of $45,000; special bonus of $20,000
Class of 2003: Year-end bonus of $50,000; special bonus of $30,000
Class of 2002: Year-end bonus of $55,000; special bonus of $40,000
Class of 2001: Year-end bonus of $60,000; special bonus of $50,000
Class of 2000 and senior: Year-end bonus of $65,000; special bonus of $50,000

Bonuses will be paid in December, consistent with our customary practices.

All of the Firm’s partners greatly appreciate your hard work and contributions to our success.

We are also pleased to announce that the firm will be paying a special bonus to our administrative staff, whose hard work, dedication and loyalty have been a critical part of our accomplishments.

A bonus for the staff too! Good on 'em. We haven't seen any other firms doing this, but we think it's great. You should always show your staff that you appreciate them too.

We've now covered over a third of the Vault 100 law firms in open threads. But that means we still have two-thirds to go (assuming we follow through to the end).

The next five firms are colorful. They include one firm that was featured in the Transformers movie, and another that used to employ a high-priced escort.

For your consideration (in Vault 100 order, prestige scores in parentheses):

31. Paul, Hastings, Janofsky & Walker (6.545)
32. Willkie Farr & Gallagher LLP (6.352)
33. Akin Gump Strauss Hauer & Feld LLP (6.343)
34. Winston & Strawn LLP (6.316)
35. Dewey Ballantine LLP (6.313)

Please gossip away in the comments. Thanks.

The Vault Top 100 Law Firms [Vault]

Earlier: Vault 1-5; Vault 6-10; Vault 11-15; Vault 16-20; Vault 21-25; Vault 26-30

* This may come as a surprise to some of you, but Chambermaid isn't the only law-related book that has been published in the past six months. Check out Nicole Black's enthusiastic review of Ivy Briefs, by Columbia Law School grad Martha Kimes. [Legal Antics]

* Harvard Law School snags Bill Rubenstein, a prominent gay law prof. So why are they keeping it on the down low? [Leonard Link]

* Justice Alito thinks some of his colleagues need to shut their pieholes. We think their first names rhyme with "Beano" and "Even." [Legal Times via NYM Daily Intelligencer]

* Sarbanes-Oxley: Hot or Not? [DealBreaker]

* More advice for Loyola 2L: If your non-Biglaw job doesn't pay you enough, try dumpster diving! [ABA Journal]

* Willkie gets sued -- and we're reminded of this lawsuit. State and local governments don't seem to like Biglaw much these days. [San Diego Union-Tribune]

* Hold the cheese. Or get sued for lots of cheddar. [Charleston Daily Mail]

Here are two updates about clerkship bonuses (a subject of interest to a limited group of readers -- but those who care REALLY care):

1. Willkie Farr & Gallagher: The rumor that Willkie pays a $50,000 clerkship bonus has been confirmed. We understand this applies to both New York and Washington.

2. Akin Gump: In New York, the firm pays a $50,000 clerkship bonus. (We don't know what they do in other offices.)

In addition, one tipster calls out WilmerHale for, well, trying to pull a Latham.

If you'd like to know why WilmerHale's $35,000 clerkship bonus may not truly be a $35,000 clerkship bonus, read the rest of this post, after the jump.

Some good news for law clerks heading to the New York office of Covington & Burling after their clerkships. A source at the firm directed us to check out this updated section of their website:

We reward judicial clerks who come directly to the firm following their clerkship(s) with credit for purposes of both salary and partnership consideration, together with a $50,000 bonus for one clerkship and a $70,000 bonus for two clerkships for those who have clerked for a federal judge, or for the highest court in any state or the District of Columbia.

So add a new member to the $50K/$70K Club. But note that Covington is taking the Ropes & Gray approach: the new and improved clerkship bonuses are paid out in New York only. In Washington and San Francisco, the firm still pays a $35,000 clerkship bonus.

Update: Also noteworthy, per a commenter: "This is different from the other $70K bonuses in that it only applies to people with two-clerkships, rather than one two-year clerkship."

In addition, we've heard a rumor that Willkie Farr & Gallagher has raised its clerkship bonus to $50,000. But we haven't seen the email, and Willkie's website and NALP form don't reflect this info. If you can confirm, please drop us a line.

A "List of Shame" for top firms paying below-market clerkship bonuses, after the jump.

We've been so focused on nationwide associate pay raises that we've been neglecting New York City -- where lawyers have always earned top dollar. And where they enjoy real estate spoils reflecting their high compensation, which we regularly profile for Lawyerly Lairs.

One of our favorite sources of real estate porn in the deliciously gossipy New York Observer. Here are a few recent "Manhattan Transfers" items, all of which involve lawyers:

1. Crusading Lawyer Inks Sweet $2.4 M. Deal for Harlem Townhouse

The Erin Brockovich of big-sugar class-action lawsuits has bought a stately 108-year-old townhouse on West 137th Street (at right), a leafy block near Harlem’s Strivers Row.

Lawyer Edward Tuddenham and his wife, Sarah Cleveland, a University of Texas law professor, paid $2.4 million for the five-level townhouse.

Moral of the story: If you're a law professor with dreams of a million-dollar home, you need to marry well. Or be Feldsuk.

In addition to having a million-dollar home, Professor Cleveland is also highly attractive, a former Rhodes Scholar, and a former Supreme Court clerk (for Justice Blackmun). Could a life be any more charmed? (Although that Manhattan-Austin commute is probably a real pain...)

Update: Per this comment, and as confirmed by this press release, Professor Cleveland -- who is "a fantastic teacher," we're told -- has been snapped up by Columbia. Very nice.

2. Saint David’s Buys Headmaster Two Philip Johnson Condos for $2.99 M

The Saint David's School, an all-boys prep school, just purchased two adjacent condos for a total of almost $3 million. These apartments will be the home of their headmaster. Who says schoolteachers can't live well?

One of the principals in this deal is a lawyer: Willkie Farr & Gallagher partner Xavier Dieux is selling one of the two units. Presumably Mr. Dieux is trading up; he was probably living below his means in his condo at the Metropolitan.

3. Davis Polk Stays At Home

This item, reporting on Davis Polk & Wardwell's 650,000-square-foot renewal at 450 Lexington Avenue, concerns commercial rather than residential real estate. So it may lie slightly beyond the jurisdiction of Lawyerly Lairs.

But it is interesting to see how Davis Polk is perceived by the outside world. The Observer refers to DPW as "cultivat[ing] its reputation as the Cravath, Swaine & Moore for happy people."

Is that view of DPW accurate? Feel free to debate in the comments.

Yes, the rumors are true: Willkie Farr & Gallagher has raised base salaries for its associates. Here's the memo:

-----Original Message-----
From: The Executive Committee
Sent: Wednesday, January 24, 2007 11:52 AM
To: ASSOCIATES - DC; ASSOCIATES - NY
Cc: PARTNERS - DC + OF COUNSEL; PARTNERS - NY + OF COUNSEL; Danaher, John; Salvatore, Jeanine; Poster, Margaret
Subject: 2007 Associate Salaries

We are pleased to announce that the annual base salaries for associates in NY and DC have been increased, retroactive to January 1, 2007, as follows:

Class of 2006 - $160,000
Class of 2005 - $170,000
Class of 2004 - $185,000
Class of 2003 - $210,000
Class of 2002 - $230,000
Class of 2001 - $250,000
Class of 2000 - $265,000
Class of 1999 - $280,000
Class of 1998 - $290,000

Adjustments will be reflected in your January 31st paycheck. Adjustments for more senior associates and Special Counsel will be determined on an individual basis.

We continue to be extremely appreciative of our associates' contributions to the Firm which were instrumental in making 2006 another record year for the Firm.

Earlier: Previous announcements of law firm associate salary increases (scroll down through "Skaddenfreude" archives)

One of you recently commented: "Retire this feature until the spring, dude. No one gets married in December."

We beg to differ -- unless you consider one of the Elect to be a nobody. A surprisingly high number of lawyers got hitched on the weekend before New Year's Day. We even had to make some cuts.

Here are the three couples from the December 30-31 weekend that we will review:

1. Margaret Cimino, Jaime Wolf

2. Theane Evangelis, Teddy Kapur

3. Courtenay Seabring, Nathaniel Ebel

Random aside: The best tidbit from the December 31 wedding announcements appeared in the write-up for two non-lawyers, Darcy Wolcott and Thomas Proctor:

Mr. Proctor's forebears, the Hood and Towne families, settled the towns of Topsfield and Ipswich, Mass., in the early 1600's. One ancestor, Mary Towne Easty, was hanged as a witch in 1692 in Salem.

If you can claim an ancestor who was executed for being a witch, you get an automatic 10 for your "Family" score.

Scores and commentary for the newlywed lawyer couples, after the jump.

Lots of interesting moves, both actual and rumored, to report upon today.

Possible promotion:

* Elena Kagan, the popular (and hot) dean of Harvard Law School, is being considered for the presidency of Harvard University.

In government:

* New York Governor Eliot Spitzer is on a hiring spree (just like his successor as AG, Andrew Cuomo). Lloyd Constantine, who currently heads a 40-lawyer firm, will serve as a senior advisor to Spitzer. Debra Bachrach, a partner at Manatt, Phelps & Phillips, will direct the state's Medicaid program. Joseph Baker, bureau chief for health care under AG Spitzer, will take over as deputy secretary for health and human services.

"You're Fired":

* Former Apple in-house lawyer Wendy Howell was discreetly discharged, late last year, for her role in the options backdating fiasco.

Reunited and it feels so good:

* Structured finance lawyers William Cullen, Janet Barbiere and Bola Oloko, to Thacher Proffitt & Wood, from Sidley & Austin. The trio left Thacher Proffitt together in 1997 (back when Barbiere and Oloko were still associates; they were recently promoted to partnership at Sidley).

Other lateral moves:

* Bankruptcy lawyer Steven Wilamowsky, to Bingham McCutchen, from Willkie Farr & Gallagher.

Headhunters at Harvard May Pick a Woman [New York Times]
NY Bankruptcy Partner Switches Firms [NYLawyer.com]
NY Trio Returns to Firm They Left in the '90s [NYLawyer.com]
Spitzer Taps Three NY Lawyers to Fill Key Positions [NYLawyer.com]
Apple Quietly Canned Lawyer Who Backdated [The Recorder via Law.com]

So it appears that Willkie Farr & Gallagher has matched market bonuses. We don't have official confirmation or a memo yet, but we doubt that this is another fake Willkie announcement.

Matching is the default outcome right now. We doubt anyone will have the guts to raise. Most big law firms had a very good year in 2006, and they probably could afford to be more generous with bonuses. But our guess is that they're being conservative this year, in case the economy heads south in 2007.

On the other hand, we don't think any Biglaw shop would be stupid enough (or mean enough) to go below market. It would be a scarlet letter to wear for several recruiting seasons to come. So matching market / Milbank is the safest way to go.

One of you was kind enough to respond to our request for the Simpson Thacher bonus memo. We reprint the STB memo, after the jump.

Update (1:35 PM): The Willkie Farr memo is also available after the jump. Our thanks to commenter Wendell.

Still no news. The message boards are quiet (aside from complaints about the "trolls," and admonitions not to "feed" them).

At this point in time, we're guessing that no major bonus news will break this week. But we're happy to be proven wrong. As soon as you hear something, please email us.

Last night, a fake Willkie Farr bonus memo was making the rounds (just like the fake Milbank Tweed bonus memo). We posted the memo quickly, in the interest of timeliness, but papered it up and down with disclaimers: unconfirmed, not verified, do not rely, etc. An hour or two later, after conferring with our Willkie sources, we came back and declared it to be fake.

Some folks were annoyed that we posted the fake memo to begin with. So we'd like to explain how we operate around here, by quoting from two reader comments. Comment 1:

ATL posts them immediately because these things are time-sensitive. No one should rely on this info before it gets confirmed, but the easiest way to confirm it is to get it out to a wide audience quickly and let it be debunked. I for one don't care whether it's initially accurate or not, I just appreciate the effort to shed light on one of the many mysterious aspects of big firm life -- compensation.

And comment 2:

The blogosphere way of doing things is to publish stuff ASAP, then to correct or modify as the story develops. The mainstream media way of doing things is to hold a story - sometimes for a long time - until it's all confirmed. It is not surprising that ATL takes the blogosphere approach.

Also, when ATL originally posted the memo, there were boldface, all-caps disclaimers all over the post. You'd have to be a moron to rely upon anything posted with all those caveats.

So this is how we're going to operate around here. We'll put up purported "bonus memos" ASAP, but with disclaimers, while we work on confirming and fact-checking them. But please don't treat such memos as authentic until we append a confirmation (or remove the disclaimers).

Striking a balance between speed and accuracy is a constant struggle, in both the blogosphere and the mainstream media. This is our explanation of how we strike the balance; we hope you find it helpful. Thanks for reading.

Earlier: Prior ATL coverage of bonuses (scroll down)

The fake bonus announcement memos really aren't that funny, people. Everybody gets all worked up for an hour or two, and then the ruse is exposed.

The purported Willkie Farr bonus memo, which surfaced earlier tonight, is not authentic. From one of our sources at Willkie:

This is clearly a fake. FYI, Willkie never sends out bonus memos this early in December, and in any event, it wouldn't come from Matt Feldman, who is a bankruptcy partner. It would come from someone like Jack Nusbaum (chairman) or Thomas Cerabino (a high-ranking partner on the Executive Committee).

This was confirmed by a second Willkie source, who reported receiving no such memo.

We have sources at pretty much all the top firms. It doesn't take us very long to contact them for confirmation (or denial). We also have no qualms about contacting the supposed senders of these memos, whether they're HR people or Biglaw partners, for verification and comment.

So please stop wasting your time -- and ours. Thank you.

Earlier: Associate Bonus Watch: Willkie's Bonus Memo???
Prior ATL coverage of bonuses (scroll down)

Update: As explained here, the supposed Willkie Farr "bonus memo" reprinted below is a fake.

From: "Matthew A. Feldman"
Sent: Wednesday, December 06, 2006 6:29 PM
To: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Subject: Associate Bonuses

We are pleased to announce that the firm will once again award year-end bonuses for associates.

Class of 2006 - $40,000
Class of 2005 - $45,000
Class of 2004 - $55,000
Class of 2003 - $60,000
Class of 2002 - $70,000
Class of 2001 - $80,000
Class of 2000 - $95,000
Class of 1999 - $110,000
Class of 1998 - $120,000

The Compensation Committee thanks everyone for their hard work in making 2006 a successful year.

Matthew A. Feldman
xxxxxxxx@willkie.com
787 Seventh Avenue
New York, N.Y. 10019-6099
T: 212-xxx-xxxx
F: 212-xxx-xxxx

Willkie bonuses announced [Infirmation/Greedy NY Board]

We've fallen a bit behind in telling you who is going where, and why. So here's a short recap of notable recent moves within the legal profession:

From Law to Finance:
* It's rare for partners to leave Wachtell Lipton, but it does happen. Earlier this month, former WLRK corporate partner Mitchell Presser left the firm, to join Fox Paine. Presser, renowned at Wachtell for his impeccable taste in sushi, focuses on deal structuring and new investment opportunities at Fox Paine.

New Partners:
* Simpson Thacher & Bartlett: Eight new partners in New York. Corporate: Barrie Covit, John Ericson, Ellen Reilly Patterson, Kathryn King Sudol. Executive compensation and employee benefits: Gregory Grogan. Real estate: Sasan Mehrar. Litigation: Michael Garvey and George Wang (whom we know, and who are both very fine lawyers -- congrats, guys).

* Willkie Farr & Gallagher: Eleven new partners in New York. Corporate and financial services: Leah Campbell, Mark Cognetti, Morgan Elwyn, Rita Molesworth (luv the name), Adam Turteltaub. Litigation: Mary Eaton, Scott Rose, and former AUSA Michael Schachter. Tax: Christopher Peters. Business reorganization and restructuring: Rachel Strickland.

You may recall Michael Schachter as the superstar federal prosecutor in the Southern District of New York, who helped send Martha Stewart to prison (where she learned to make delicious dishes using vending machine fare and the inmates' communal microwave).

* Weil Gotshal & Manges: Twenty new partners around the country. That's too many for us to reprint here, so check out the list in the press release.

A majority of these twenty partners are women, and two are "flex-time partners." Details here.

Out the Door:

* Myron Olesnyckyj, former general counsel of Monster Worldwide Inc. (which owns Monster.com). Stock options backdating. Yawn.

* And a bunch of execs at ACS and Quest Software, also because of backdating. Some lawyers, some not. Double yawn.

NY Biglaw Associates Making Partner [NYLawyer.com]
Another GC Axed Over Stock-Options [NYLawyer.com]
Backdating: More Resignations, More Legal Business [WSJ Law Blog]
Weil Gotshal Elects Twenty to Partnership and Appoints Five as Counsel [Weil Gotshal & Manges]
Weil’s Partnership Class Has More Women Than Men: News? [WSJ Law Blog]

Tons of moves to report today -- and these are just the highlights:

New Partners:

* Latham & Watkins -- which, as discussed yesterday, is very popular with Supreme Court clerks -- has elected 26 new partners, in offices around the country. That's enough lawyers to start a whole new law firm.

You can check out their names here. If you graduated from law school around 1998, you probably know some of them.

"Magic Circle" Hiring Spree:

The top British law firms -- aka the "Magic Circle" firms -- continue to cast spells over U.S. practitioners, who have been flocking to their American offices in droves.

* Louis Kimmelman, former co-chair of O'Melveny & Myers's international arbitration practice, is heading to Allen & Overy's rapidly growing New York office. Kimmelman regularly appears before the International Court of Arbitration of the International Chamber of Commerce, the American Arbitration Association, and other tribunals.

* Finance lawyers Zarrar Sehgal and Anthony Lopez III, to Clifford Chance (NY), from Milbank Tweed and Cahill Gordon, respectively.

Lateral Moves:

* Corporate and securities lawyer Michael Student, to Brown Rudnick, from Holland & Knight.

* Tax lawyer James Tander, corporate lawyer Patrick de Carbuccia, and real estate lawyer Michael Pollack, to Reed Smith (NY). They come from, respectively, Skadden Arps, Willkie Farr, and Withers Bergman of (New Haven, CT).

Government to Private Sector:

* Sharon McCarthy, a former deputy chief of the U.S. Attorney's Office for the Southern District, to litigation and tax boutique Kostelanetz & Fink, as a partner.

Internal Promotions:

* Paul Tvetenstrand, a partner in the structured finance practice group, has been elected chairman and managing partner of Thacher Proffitt & Wood.

Latham & Watkins Elects 26 New Partners [Latham & Watkins]
NY Partners Switching Firms, NY Lawyers On the Move [NYLawyer.com]
More NY Partners Switching Firms [NYLawyer.com]
Firm Promotes 26 to Partnership [NYLawyer.com]
NY Practice Leader Switches Firms [NYLawyer.com]

Out the Door:

* CNET's former general counsel, Sharon Le Duy -- resigns -- another casualty of the stock options backdating scandals.

Lateral Moves:

* ERISA lawyer Dana Scott Fried, to Loeb & Loeb, from Brown Raysman Millstein Felder & Steiner.

Is Dana Fried an ERISA hottie? Perhaps. You be the judge; here's his bio (with photo).

* Corporate and securities lawyer Mark Thierfelder, to Dechert, from O'Melveny & Myers.

* Tax specialist James Tander, corporate lawyer Patrick de Carbuccia, and real estate lawyer Michael Pollack, all to Reed Smith (NY); they come from, respectively, Skadden Arps (as counsel), Willkie Farr (as an associate), and British trusts and estates boutique Withers Bergman (as head of the real estate practice).

CNET Joins the Backdating Parade; Its General Counsel Resigns [WSJ Law Blog]
Firm Boosts NY Office With Three Lateral Partners [NYLawyer.com]
NY Partners Switching Firms, NY Associates Making Partner [NYLawyer.com]

Lawyer weddings come, and lawyer weddings go. The weekend of September 16-17, a veritable cornucopia of attorney nuptials, was followed by the weekend of September 23-24 -- not an embarrassment of riches, but just an embarrassment.*

No way are we writing about Cheryl Connolly and Kyle Lewis -- Lewis was wounded in Iraq, so the guy's been through enough. Here are the couples in contention:

1. Elizabeth Kennedy, Nicholas Vitek

2. Cameron Schroeder, Justin Levitt

3. Anne Davis, Charles Wollenhaupt

Who will secure the final berth in the September 2006 Couple of the Month contest? Find out, after the jump.

* Speaking of embarrassments, we realize we are weeks behind in Legal Eagle Wedding Watch ("LEWW"). We're writing about weddings that took place last month; some of these couples are probably divorced by now. See -- we really do need some help around here! If we can find the right writer, we'd even consider outsourcing LEWW.