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Almost as Much Fun as Gitmo: ‘Docket Review’ With Shanetta Cutlar

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Shanetta Cutlar 2 Shanetta Y Cutlar Shanetta Brown Cutlar DOJ SPL Special Litigation Section Civil Rights Division.jpg[Ed. note: It seems to be pure luck as to why we've been allowed to access this post through Movable Type, even though we can't access other ones or create new posts. So please refrain from asking us why we're publishing this rather than more salary coverage. Thanks.]
For those of you who have no interest in Biglaw pay raises, here’s a bit of counterprogramming about Shanetta Cutlar.
In case you’re not familiar with her, Shanetta Y. Cutlar is the Chief of the Special Litigation Section at the U.S. Department of Justice. She’s a high-ranking DOJ official, and she’s a colorful boss. Click here for a summary of her managerial quirks.
Ever since we started writing about her, lawyers who used to work under her have been emerging from the woodwork. They’ve been sending us a steady stream of stories about their time working for “SYC.” Here’s the latest, concerning a Shanetta Cutlar institution called “Docket Review”:

Has anyone told you yet about “Docket Review” — or rather, the Spanish Inquisition, which was probably less painless? Dear God, thinking back on it makes me cringe.

When you first arrive in the office, everyone warns you about it. Never, EVER miss Docket Review; be AT YOUR DESK when summoned for your meeting, or face the wrath of Shanetta; and NEVER tell her you don’t know the answer to a question. It’s nothing short of terrorizing.

Docket Review happens four times a year. During this time period, everyone is stressed out, and nobody gets any work done. In short, the entire Section is in an uproar — for days.

The process begins when an email goes around about DR scheduling. This immediately triggers a stampede of people going to the staff assistant’s office to sign up — it’s insane.

When signing up for Docket Review, there’s an elaborate strategy involved. Some people like to get it over with as soon as possible, so they sign up for the very first slot. The main concern is not to go immediately after certain people that you know will have a bad one, placing SYC in a foul mood. Another dreaded spot is the time slot right before lunch.

In advance of your Docket Review meeting, you have to write up a memo summarizing the status of your cases. This stupid memo must comply, to the letter, with certain SYC specifications. It must be uniform and perfect, down to the spacing and formatting, and completely free of typos — as if you were filing it in Court.

At the appointed hour, you are summoned to SYC’s conference room. This is, by the way, “her” conference room. No one else can ever use it, even if she’s not using it herself or even if she’s out of town.

When you enter the SYC conference room, Shanetta is seated at the far end. Her deputies are lined up on both sides of the table, and you’re on the other end. Surprisingly, there’s no spotlight, but you feel like one is glaring down on you anyway.

During the meeting, the deputies are COMPLETELY SILENT. They’re in the room, but they’re not permitted to talk. It’s just you and Shanetta.

Docket Review is a total game of “Gotcha.” SYC asks you a question she already knows the answer to, listens to your response, twists your words, and then somehow turns it all around on you — so you look like an incompetent fool.

Here I must begrudgingly give her credit. Making you look like you know absolutely nothing about your own cases, even though you’ve been toiling away on them for months, is a peculiar kind of art form. And Shanetta is a master of it.

Rarely does a Docket Review go well. As a matter of fact, going well is the exception, certainly not the rule. Some reviews have ended in screaming matches that carry on down the hall. After several confrontations with one particular attorney, he was quickly moved by the front office to a different section, out of open season.

Another attorney, who came up with the brilliant idea of telling Shanetta he was leaving the Section during his Docket Review, was escorted out of his office by the FBI a few days later.

(Admittedly, there may have been some cause for that. He had told Shanetta that he wished the Section was like “a cartoon world,” in which he could toss a bowling-ball shaped bomb into her office….)

Why do we suspect that he’s not the only person who has harbored that particular fantasy?
Earlier: Prior coverage of the Special Litigation Section under Shanetta Cutlar (scroll down)

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Sorry, Barack and John: You’re Toast

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As we recently noted, both Sen. Barack Obama and former Sen. John Edwards are distinguished lawyers and public servants.
But it’s time for them to bow out of the 2008 presidential race, in recognition of the inevitable: Senatrix Hillary Rodham Clinton is UNSTOPPABLE!
Liz Taylor Backs Hillary Clinton for White House Above the Law.jpg
Divas of Yale Law School, represent!!!
Update (3:48 AM): Now running at the top of the Drudge Report:
Elizabeth Taylor endorses endorsement Hillary Clinton Hillary Rodham Clinton Above the Law.jpg
Liz Taylor backs Hillary Clinton in presidential race [Reuters via Drudge Report]
Hillary Clinton 19 Points Ahead of Barack Obama [Time]
Poll: Many Black Voters Don’t Identify With Obama [CBS News]
Earlier: Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton: The Lioness Roars, “I’m In”

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Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton: The Lioness Roars, “I’m In”

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Hillary Clinton Hillary Rodham Clinton Senator President Drudge Report.jpg

The big news of the weekend: the announcement by Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton that she’s opening a presidential exploratory committee. This is, of course, the first step towards a (now inevitable) White House bid.
If you haven’t done so already, check out Senator Clinton’s videotaped announcement. It’s excellent.
Senator Clinton’s intelligence, work ethic, experience and toughness all lie beyond the dispute. But the video highlights her charm, conviviality, and sense of humor. Regardless of whether you’re a Hillary fan or Hillary hater, we think you’ll be impressed by the video.
It’s very well-produced. The nice touches include the lovely side table, featuring pink roses and a discreet photo of her and Bill; Senator Clinton’s deft invocation of her Midwestern roots, replete with a Midwestern accent (listen to how she says “part”); and, of course, her flawless make-up. She looks great even in extreme close-up — which can’t be said for most of us. Can you believe she’s 59 years old?
There is a legal angle to this paean to Hillary (Yale Law School class of 1973). Discussion continues after the jump.

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What Part of “Fabulous” Do You Not Understand?

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Golden Gate Bridge San Francisco Eumi Choi Eumi Choi Above the Law.jpgWe enjoy reading your comments. Well, some of them. See, e.g., here, here, and here.
But some we find rather mystifying. Like this comment on How Yummy Is Eumi?, our profile of high-powered federal prosecutor Eumi Choi, First Assistant U.S. Attorney for the Northern District of California (San Francisco).
Commenter “Barbara” wrote:

This post, like the SF Weekly article it references, was planted by a group of disgruntled (and racist) former and current AUSAs who constitute the best-coordinated insurgency outside of Iraq. They are a group of uppity Caucasians hell-bent on controlling the U.S. Attorney’s Office. They hate Eumi because she is Asian — and ergo, is not one of them.

Note how this posting focuses on Eumi’s race. Many of the insurgents’ private talk about Eumi is also borderline racist — e.g., referring her as “Dragon Lady.” Interestingly, these insurgent AUSAs who now whine about having to “follow directions” were themselves the most autocratic dictators around during the Shapiro/Mueller administration, when THEY were in power.

Even more interesting is how very little anyone discusses the impoverished morals of the insurgent AUSAs. Four of them had affairs with other AUSAs while married to other people. One of the harshest critics of Eumi and Kevin Ryan left his pregnant wife for another AUSA. Everyone is so fascinated by the fact of a powerful Asian female being under attack that nobody — least of all the legal press, which is incapable of anything other than acting as a mouthpiece for the disgruntled — has paid any heed to the fact that the Caucasian stonethrowers are themselves living in brittle glass houses.

We don’t understand this commenter’s ire towards our post. We praised Eumi Choi as a “tough, smart, no-nonsense” prosecutor, as well as a “strong Asian woman.” We also described her as “fabulous” and “yummy.” What part of that was unclear?
(Also, for the record, we’re Asian ourselves — and were raised by a mom who’s a lot like Eumi Choi. So we obviously have no problems with powerful Asian females or Asian lawyers in positions of power.)
Despite our issues with this comment, we did enjoy the dirt it dished out — especially the allegations of extramarital affairs galore. The U.S.A.O. for the N.D. Cal. sounds as incestuous, fractious, and trashily dysfunctional as “Melrose Place.”
If you have more juicy gossip about the U.S. Attorney’s Office in San Francisco — concerning Eumi Choi, her adversaries, or the battles going on between them — please do share with us.
(Hint to people who want to buy us a Christmas gift: the first season of “Melrose Place” is now out on DVD.)
Earlier: How Yummy Is Eumi?

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Judge of the Day: Melinda Harmon

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Melinda Harmon Judge Melinda Harmon Above the Law.jpgPeople pay attention to a judge’s reversal rate — how often that jurist gets reversed by a higher court. And a high reversal rate is usually regarded as “not a good thing.”
But we kinda admire judges who aren’t overly concerned with their reversal rate. We respect judges who are willing to go out on a limb, who aren’t afraid to take the law in new and interesting directions — no matter what the folks upstairs might think. Such judges play a key role in the evolution and clarification of the law.*
Some of you might criticize such an envelope-pushing approach to judging as improper, even “lawless.” But here at ATL, we call it entertaining!
Meet Judge Melinda Harmon (S.D. Tex.). She’s the trial judge responsible for the jury instructions in the Arthur Andersen prosecution, which the Supreme Court didn’t like so much. And now she’s handed down another interesting ruling:

In a decision that she conceded flies in the face of previous rulings by other courts, a federal judge in Houston has ordered the law firm of William S. Lerach, a leading class-action lawyer, to pay the legal fees and costs of a company he sued.

The company, Alliance Capital, a money management firm, was sued by Mr. Lerach’s firm as part of a large Enron class-action case. The lawsuit argued that Alliance should be held responsible for the Enron fraud because an Alliance official was also a director of Enron.

The federal rules permit awards of fees and costs. But these are usually paid by the parties, NOT by their law firms.
More about this groundbreaking ruling, after the jump.

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How Yummy Is Eumi?

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Golden Gate Bridge San Francisco Eumi Choi Eumi Choi Above the Law.jpgThis post is even more random than usual. But it’s Friday, and Mother Nature is going bonkers — a major snowstorm in the Midwest, an epic typhoon in the Philippines — so indulge us.
Some time ago, we characterized the U.S. Attorney’s Office in the Northern District of California (San Francisco) as “well-regarded.” But then John of The Legal Reader helpfully informed us that the office has slipped in recent years. He brought to our attention this fascinating feature, describing problems that have plagued the office under United States Attorney Kevin Ryan.
So we read the article, which was most enlightening. And after reading it, we were left with one conclusion:

EUMI CHOI IS FABULOUS.

Who is Eumi Choi? She’s First Assistant U.S. Attorney in the Northern District, the right-hand woman of U.S. Attorney Kevin Ryan. But it seems that, despite her nominal status as Ryan’s second-in-command, Choi is actually running the show, cracking the whip over the assistant U.S. attorneys while Ryan hides out in his office.
If someone were to make a movie about the N.D. Cal. office, Eumi Choi would be the “scene stealing” character. The role of Eumi would turn into a surprise star vehicle for Lucy Liu, en route to an improbable Oscar nomination.
We explain why Eumi is so yummy, after the jump.

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A Further Update on Aquagirl: Is She Still Afloat?

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aquagirl cleary gottlieb summer associate Above the Law aquagirl.JPGIn response to our last post about Aquagirl — the Clearly Goatlips Cleary Gottlieb summer associate who stripped down to her underwear and dove into the Hudson River, at a summer associate event — one of you wrote:

Aquagirl was in my bar review class, for the Virginia bar exam. But she is NOT on the list of those who passed the July 2006 VA bar exam. Did she not take the exam? Or did she fail?

There is also the issue of character and fitness. Does jumping in a river render you unfit to practice in the Commonwealth? I trust that Above the Law will find out for us all.

We’re inclined to answer this reader’s query with a “no.” If a single instance of poor, alcohol-clouded judgment were enough to preclude bar admission, then nobody would be left in practice. So please, Virginia bar examiners — give Aquagirl a break.

(Yes, we’re biased — we are big fans of Aquagirl, whom we have declared “magnificent.” And we want to see her succeed in the legal profession, which needs more colorful personalities.)

Update: We’re not alone in wishing Aquagirl well. One of you writes: “She’s actually a really sweet girl, so I hope it’s just that they held her app for C&F (and thus still has a chance of being admitted), and not that she didn’t pass the exam.”

If you can enlighten us about the fate of our favorite summer associate ever — she’s tied for first with this young lady — please drop us a line.

Earlier: An Update on Aquagirl: Things Are Going Swimmingly

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An Update on Aquagirl: Things Are Going Swimmingly

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aquagirl cleary gottlieb summer associate Above the Law aquagirl.JPGYesterday we told you the tale of Aquagirl — the Clearly Goatlips Cleary Gottlieb summer associate who stripped down to her underwear and dove into the Hudson River. At a summer associate event. At night. At Chelsea Piers. Seriously.
In the comments, some of you updated us on Aquagirl’s fate. Now we’re happy to bring you this very detailed report:

I worked with [Aquagirl] at Arnold & Porter this summer. On our first day as summers, we were taken to lunch at a nearby restaurant. We were seated at round tables, with at least one partner and one associate at every table. During the lunch, one of the partners asked each of the summers to tell her something funny that had happened to us while we were working at a previous job.

After a few people told their silly, harmless stories, [Aquagirl] was up. She announced to all of us that she was the girl at Cleary that everyone had talked about last summer. She said she hoped no one would hold it against her, and that she could have a fresh start.

Um, talk about uncomfortable situation? I mean, what do you say to that?

What do you say to that? How about “You go, girl!” In a single evening, Aquagirl transformed herself from some random summer associate into a mini-celebrity of the legal profession. And instead of trying to conceal her scandalousness, she OWNED it. Magnificent!!!
One of yesterday’s commenters stated that Arnold & Porter “didn’t realize her Hudson-jumping proclivities.” But our correspondent begs to differ:

[T]he people who interviewed her at Arnold & Porter DID know about what happened to [Aquagirl] at Cleary, and decided to hire her anyway. (Although summer gossip was that she wasn’t allowed to participate in alcohol-related afterhours activities; it may very well be that she did not attend events because she was at bar review class.)

I was told that all the summers at A&P got an offer to come back, but she hasn’t responded to our email chain about her plans for next year (she’s clerking now).

Anyway, we’re glad to hear that everything worked out for Aquagirl. Fitzgerald — F. Scott, not Patrick J. — famously observed that “there are no second acts in American lives.” But, based on Aquagirl’s post-scandal success — an offer from Arnold & Porter, a prestigious federal appellate court clerkship — it seems there ARE second acts in American law.
Earlier: The Cautionary Tale of Aquagirl

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Dahlia Lithwick: You Go, Girl

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dahlia lithwick headshot.jpgSome of you think we give Dahlia Lithwick, the legal affairs writer for Slate, a hard time. And it’s true that we often disagree with her (even if we always acknowledge her writerly talent). But we do find ourselves agreeing with much in her latest piece, criticizing recent critiques of the news media by several Supreme Court justices.
In response to Justice Antonin Scalia’s remarks during a panel sponsored by the National Italian American Foundation, Lithwick writes:

Scalia said, “The press is never going to report judicial opinions accurately.” It seems our reporting is limited to: “Who is the plaintiff? Was that a nice little old lady? And who is the defendant? Was this, you know, some scuzzy guy? And who won? Was it the good guy that won or the bad guy?”

I’m still running the Nexis search for the reporting on last spring’s campaign-finance reform decisions that includes the terms “little old lady” and “scuzzy guy.” But it seems to me the reporting on that case was a lot clearer than the opinions.

And although, if anything, the Supreme Court press corps is hypercautious in its attention to legal detail at the expense of sensationalism, Scalia dismisses them, and their readers, because, in his view, “nobody would read it if you went into the details of the law that the court has to resolve.”

While we agree with Justice Scalia’s general point that news accounts of court cases often focus more on the facts, including facts about the parties, and less on the legal issues — which may not be surprising, given that the facts are more accessible to a lay audience — we do believe that most Supreme Court reporters try their best to explain the legal nitty-gritty to their readers. And many of them — including Lithwick, Linda Greenhouse of the New York Times, and Charles Lane of the Washington Post — have formal legal training.
A little bit more, after the jump.

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