Oh is the author of the famous (and fabulous) PH Farewell Email -- aka The Email That Launched A Thousand Blog Comments -- and a heroine in the eyes of many Biglaw associates around the country. Here are a few highlights from the interview:

[T]he former associate, Shinyung Oh (University of Chicago ’93, Georgetown Law ’98), a commercial litigation lawyer.... says she sent the now-infamous email because she didn’t want other associates who may be laid off because of downsizing by the firm – but told it is because of their performance – to doubt their own abilities.

“I want them to feel like they’re not completely alone and not to worry about their own performance when it’s the firm doing something for economic reasons” and because of a “desire to increase partner profits,” she said.

Inducing crippling self-doubt among associates is one of the most pernicious things about "stealth layoffs," in which economically-driven dismissals are cast by firms as purely performance-based. We know this from having spoken to stealth-layoff victims, who have described how their self-confidence was shattered when their firms dismissed them, purportedly for poor performance.

While there may be a "six of one, half-dozen of another" quality to this debate -- as Dan Weiner of Hughes Hubbard & Reed just told the WSJ Law Blog, "is it economic or is it performance-related is a false dichotomy," since if you have to make cuts, "you’re not going to pick people randomly" -- we still think it's the better part of valor for firms to take the reputational hit, rather than stick it to their associates. At any rate, it's certainly fair for law students and lateral candidates to shun firms that get called out for being less-than-candid about their personnel decisions.

Back to the interview. Here's the $64,000 -- or three-months-severance -- question: What was Shinyung Oh thinking when she sent out that email?

[Oh said] she knew that the email, which was sent to associates firm-wide, litigation partners in her office and the top management of Paul Hastings, could ruin her chances of landing another big-firm job. She said she isn’t considering suing the firm, and said she doesn’t feel she was discriminated against because of her pregnancy.

Oh Shinyung, are you sure? After Aaron Charney settled with Sullivan & Cromwell, he got himself a nice new apartment. Then again, if you were planning to sue, you probably shouldn't have told the Wall Street Journal that you didn't feel discriminated against on account of your pregnancy.

As for what’s next, Oh, who immigrated from South Korea when she was eight and grew up in New York and Houston, said she’s not sure. But she said that since the email was posted online, she’s received an outpouring of support from lawyers in the Bay Area and across the country. Several are trying to help her find a new job.

Shinyung, if you're looking for headhunter recommendations, drop us a line -- we can hook you up. And if you ever get the urge to send out another barn-burning, firmwide email, definitely give us a heads up. Based on the way that your email resonated with readers, it's clear that you have writerly talent that deserves a wider audience.

In all seriousness, we wish Shinyung Oh the best of luck. We commend her for the courage it took to write that farewell email. We have every confidence that she will land on her feet -- recall our prior post, quoting a colleague who praised her as someone who "ran a huge class action and got excellent results" -- and we look forward to following her career in the years ahead.

Update: Jane Genova shares our optimism about Oh's future. She writes: Oh "has almost an infinite number of fresh career options, within and outside law.... [enumerates options].... Being the good solider, girl scout or boy scout has no payoff in the current career marketplace. Bold risks do.... Wild risk is the only secure path."

P.S. Congrats to Amir Efrati on the interview. Read the full post over here. Check out a copy of Shinyung Oh's 2006 performance review, also obtained by the WSJ, over here (PDF).

A screencap of her firm bio is saved for posterity, after the jump.

Fired Paul Hastings Associate Talks to Law Blog [WSJ Law Blog]
The New Risky Business - Shinyung Oh's E-Mail Strategy [Law and More]

Earlier: Breaking: A Dramatic Farewell Email (And proof of Paul Hastings layoffs.)
Miscarriage of Justice at Paul Hastings? The Blogosphere Reacts
Nationwide Layoff Watch: Paul Hastings

Marc J. Randazza fills us in on the Texas sex toy ban, just struck down by the Fifth Circuit. According to Marc, the arguments for outlawing the sale of toys for your pleasure-parts are thus:

(1) If the Texas dildo law is invalidated as an improper encroachment upon personal liberty, this will open the floodgates, and laws on bigamy and incest will be struck down too.

(2) Striking down the law “impermissibly overrides state lawmakers’ settled ‘authority to regulate commercial activity they deem harmful to the public’” (naturally citing a dissenting opinion from the 11th Circuit).

Marc slams the arguments for his own well-articulated reasons at the link. To us, the first argument is a slippery (heh) slope argument, which is usually a weak logical tactic. The second argument is stronger, although we’d like to see a list of reasons why sex toys are so harmful.

It is still illegal to sell sex toys in Alabama. The U.S. Supreme Court declined to hear an Alabama case in 2007 on the subject, so the lower court’s ruling (upholding the ban) remains intact. This quote, from Alabama store owner Sherri Williams (the store’s name is “Pleasures”) sums up the passion of people across the Southland who find the ban ridiculous:

“My motto has been they are going to have to pry this vibrator from my cold, dead hand. I refuse to give up,” she said.

You go, girl. By contrast, guns are perfectly legal in both states.
Texas -- Still Obsessed With Dildos [Legal Satyricon]

For Monday's Lawyer of the Day, we faced an embarrassment of riches -- of embarrassment. So we nominated a quintet of contenders: a North Carolina lawyer caught reading Maxim in court, a former prosecutor who allegedly had sex with two teenage boys, an AUSA arrested on DUI charges, a Canadian lawyer/politician who allegedly overbilled an order of nuns, and a Chicago lawyer who keyed a Marine's car. Then we had you vote on who should take the honors.

Participation was enthusiastic, with almost 1,300 votes cast. Two contenders emerged early in the voting: Beth Modica, the allegedly predatory prosecutrix, and Jay Grodner, who pleaded guilty to keying the Marine's vehicle. Competition was fierce. But in the end, Mrs. Modica came out on top.

So congratulations, Beth Modica. You take the prize as Monday's Lawyer of the Day!

Read more about her alleged misadventures, after the jump.

Time for an update on everyone's favorite law student cum beauty queen cum accused kidnapper, Kumari Fulbright. If you're not familiar with her story, click here, and read through the ATL archives.

First, from an observant reader, some sad news for those of us who were her Facebook friends:

It looks like Kumari finally realized we weren't all her friends. Her Facebook page is gone.

Darn it, now we're down a friend. And just as we're closing in on the 1,000 friend mark!

Second, poor Kumari Fulbright has been temporarily suspended from the University of Arizona law school. Getting indicted on kidnapping and assault charges will tend to do that to you. One UA alum, who brought the news to our attention, observed:

Well, it took the alma mater long enough to react. I've been forwarded this godd**ned story from everyone I know across the country, all with some variation of either (a) UA law students are stupid / crazy or (b) girls in Tucson are ugly / felonious. Stay classy, Arizona.

We object -- strenuously. The "felonious" part is not established; she's been indicted, not convicted. And the "ugly" part is belied by the record evidence. Even though her Facebook profile is gone, we'll always have that screenshot (above right), which amply demonstrates Kumari's overwhelming hotness. The way you become a beauty queen is by being beautiful. Who'd have thunk it?

Our Arizona tipster adds:

[T]his story's insane... It's been killing me at happy hours or other lawyer gatherings here in Phoenix... Everyone has been taking their swipes at the U. of A law school for the past two weeks!

The school hasn't made many statements, and I really doubt they will. They're all touchy-feely down there. I'm surprised they didn't try to cure her with hugs.

More about the suspension, plus links to news articles, below the fold.

We're tired of the national lovefest for Barack Obama that is currently underway. It seems that Senator Obama, barely halfway through his first term in the U.S. Senate, can do no wrong -- and the divalicious Hillary Clinton, the fabulous former first lady who also has a complete (and highly successful) Senate term under the belt of her pantsuit, can do no right.

Everybody loves Barack. The 2008 election has turned into a run for class president, Barack is the "Cool Kid," and Hillary is the nerd -- the Tracy Flick character from Election.

Lawyers seems to love Obama, especially young, starry-eyed law firm associates. But general counsels have a weakness for him too, as reported today in Corporate Counsel:

The nation's best-paid general counsel have a clear favorite in the presidential race: Barack Obama. In the run-up to the primary season, the Illinois senator received more money from the in-house legal elite than any other candidate....

A total of 29 GCs in the top 100 have contributed to a presidential candidate so far (five gave to more than one campaign). Eight legal chiefs gave Obama a total of $20,600; Hillary Clinton raised $14,500 from six; and Christopher Dodd netted $13,000 from eight.

And publishers like to throw money at Obama too. From a post over the weekend at Boston Now:

[P]residential candidate Barack "No Experience" Obama apparently has no program for reducing foreign corporate control of the U.S. book publishing industry and other U.S. media industries.

One reason Obama might not want to propose that U.S. anti-trust laws be enforced against German media conglomerates like Bertelsmann AG is that between Election Day 2004 and his swearing in as a Senator, Obama was given a $1.7 million two-book contract by the Random House/Crown Publishers/Alfred Knopf subsidiary division of Bertelsmann AG. By signing his lucrative book contract with the German media conglomerate's U.S. subsidiary before taking office, Obama did not fall under various requirements for disclosure and reporting that applies to members of Congress who accept money from U.S. media conglomerates.

We could offer some snarky quip, but will refrain. Senator Obama complied with all applicable legal and ethical rules. His deal was brokered by Robert Barnett of Williams & Connolly, the D.C. superlawyer who brokered a similar book deal for Hillary Clinton, also hammered out right before she took office.

And Hillary is our girl. If loving her is wrong, we don't want to be right.

Update: This video, in which HRC gets a bit choked up, is awesome. She's the most effective politically when she's the most personal. Remember how her political career was launched, after she was humanized as the wronged woman in L'Affaire Lewinsky?

Further Update: In the comments, some of you suggest that this post would be more appropriate for our personal blog. Thanks for the unsolicited advice, which we have taken.

We offer additional thoughts about Hillary, Obama, and the amazing video clip, in this post on our personal blog. The post's title: "Could this be Hillary's anti-Scream, her anti-Macaca moment? Could this video clip save her faltering campaign?"

The GCs' Choice: Obama [Corporate Counsel]
Obama's $1.7 Million Book Contract [Boston Now]

If you're thinking of moving from private practice to government, you should be prepared to take a hit in perks as well as pay. Sure, your hours will be better -- just avoid the S.D.N.Y. -- and you might even get a free flu shot. But you won't have the fancy offices, the swanky lunches, or round-the-clock support staff. Sometimes you'll have to make your own photocopies.

It is not, however, all doom and gloom. In the past, Department of Justice employees got to enjoy four-dollar meatballs (plus $13,000 in brownies). And now we hear that for at least one DOJ diva, work was a day at the beach -- quite literally.

From Al Kamen of the Washington Post:

[T]he acting deputy director of the [voting rights] section, Susana Lorenzo-Giguere, has been accused of collecting a $64 per diem, including on weekends and the Fourth of July, while spending half of June and most of July and August with her husband and kids at their beach house on Cape Cod.

The allegation, made to the department inspector general apparently by someone linked to the Boston regional office, was that Lorenzo-Giguere made "multiple" government-paid trips to the Cape and that she improperly said that "her presence on Cape Cod was necessary pending litigation in Boston," which was in the courts over the summer....

The complaint also alleged that Lorenzo-Giguere "spent little time in Boston" this summer and did little work on the case. Also, what supervision and oversight she provided was done by phone to Boston while she "remained on the beach," and she would have been able to do this from her office in Washington.

C'mon, folks -- cut Susana some slack. Her kids needed her; building sandcastles is no easy task. And she probably looks great in a swimsuit, too.

More about Ms. Lorenzo-Giguere, after the jump.

Not too long ago, we said we had a "gut feeling" that some Supreme Court clerk hiring was going on (despite the Court being in recess). We were right.

Meet Porter Wilkinson. And don't hate her because she's beautiful. Or brilliant. Or rich. Or the daughter of a top feeder judge and frequent Supreme Court short-lister, Judge J. Harvie Wilkinson (4th Cir.).

Or, for that matter, a future Supreme Court clerk. We hear that Judge Wilkinson's daughter -- yes, Porter is a girl's name, if you're a WASP -- just landed an October Term 2008 clerkship with Chief Justice John Roberts. Congratulations, Porter!

Not surprisingly, we hear that the young Ms. Wilkinson is fairly conservative -- in case you couldn't have guessed that from the fact that she's currently clerking for Judge Brett Kavanaugh (D.C. Cir.) (alongside the lovely, and recently married, Zina Gelman).

And where did we hear about Porter's politics? From Judge Wilkinson himself!

In late July, we attended the excellent national convention of the American Constitution Society, in Washington, DC. Judge Wilkinson was on one of the panels. In thanking the ACS for inviting him, he noted that his son is a member of the liberal organization -- but that he's balanced out by his sister Porter, a card-carrying member of the Federalist Society. We bet the Wilkinsons must have interesting dinner table conversations.

Porter Wilkinson continues the trend of fathers and daughters who both clerked for the Court (as noted by Tony Mauro). See here.

Update: A tipster tells us, "FYI, Porter was an All-American lacrosse player at UNC. See here. Her husband [Christian Cook] was lacrosse Defenseman of the Year at Princeton and three-time national champion. Formerly of the Secret Service. See here. They got married this past summer in Charlottesville."

With Porter Wilkinson added, the current list of OT 2008 clerks thus far appears after the jump.

Graduation Awards: Four in the Class of 2007: Porter Wilkinson [Virginia Law]
Carter Phillips' Kin Is Alito Clerk [Legal Times]

For those of you who might be interested, here's another version of yesterday's story about the Bruised Booze Cruiser -- a Kirkland & Ellis summer associate who got slugged by a local lass in Chicago (after getting drunk on the firm-sponsored booze cruise and calling said woman a "fat bitch").

We actually received many accounts of this event. The one that we decided go with came from someone who was at K&E this summer and attended the events in question, so we viewed it as fairly reliable.

But here's a second version, also from someone who claims to have been there. And we like it -- in some ways, it's even better than the original -- so we're passing it along.

According to our latest tipster, the Bruised Booze Cruisier (hereinafter "BBC") was acting up even before the after-party where he got punched by a girl woman. From this second source:

[The BBC] had upset one big-time partner before ever getting to the bar that night (and, if the golf outing story is true, he had notes from two partners sent to recruiting). The cruise ship played music during the 3rd of July fireworks, and at one point, the "Imperial March" from the Star Wars movies came on.

The summer (maybe a big fan of the movies?) decided to narrate the song by attempting to recreate Darth-Vader-esque breathing noises. His wanting everyone to hear, though, meant the noises were less breaths and more zombie moans, which weren't appreciated by the young children on board.

A senior partner near the summer, whose children were frightened and upset by the noises, wrote to recruiting about the guy before the story of the bar fight ever came out.

That's pretty great -- but there's more. Check it out after the jump.

Labor Day has come and gone. But even though summer is unofficially over, we still have a few summer associate stories for you.

We heard lots of rumors about the Chicago summer who, as described by one source, "got decked by a girl" after a firm-sponsored, Fourth of July boat cruise. According to one version of the story, he showed up to work the next day black and blue.

After poking around, we've assembled what we believe to be a fairly reliable account of the incident. The black-and-blue part isn't true, but the general outlines of the story are accurate:

1. Superhero name: The Bruised Booze Cruiser
2. Special power(s): Improvised musical composition; ability to take it on the chin, from a member of the fairer sex.
3. Summered: Kirkland & Ellis, Chicago, summer 2007
4. Claim to fame: From our tipster:

After the Fourth of July boat cruise, one of the summers tied one too many on. At the after-party, while passing a drink to a friend, he stuck it right across the face of a girl standing nearby.

Understandably annoyed, the girl said something sort of snarky. He responded by a signing an improvised song to her, which went something like, "Fat bitch, fat bitch, you are such a fat bitch."

After he went on for about a minute, she decided she had had enough of his ditty. She emptied her drink over his head -- then socked him in the jaw.

Awesome. We're applying the "You Go Girl" tag to this post.

Find out the Booze Cruiser's fate, both medically and professionally, after the jump.

You know you're a celebrity when everyone has an opinion about you. And by that standard, Nina Totenberg, who covers the Supreme Court for NPR, is definitely a celebrity. Ever since we first started writing about Ms. Nina, we've received tons of messages and stories about her.

We feel like we're running confirmation hearings for La Totenberg -- or maybe hearings to decide whether she should be reappointed dean of the SCOTUS press corps. Witnesses have been coming forward with alternating positive and negative accounts.

Since our last post was decidedly anti-Nina -- excerpts from the memoir of John Hockenberry, a former NPR colleague of hers -- it's time for something positive. This message comes from one of Nina Totenberg's current colleagues, Ari Shapiro:

I interned for Nina seven years ago, and I’ve been her colleague at NPR ever since. I have to disagree with the assertion that she’ll “ruin the career of anyone who crosses her.” I think Tom Goldstein and Jan Crawford Greenburg got it exactly right. Nina has been unfailingly kind, generous, and helpful to me. Because I cover the Justice Department and she covers SCOTUS, we work together all the time. My cubicle is just outside of hers (yes, she has a cubicle – no office, no couch), so I see her nearly every day. She has been an extraordinary mentor and colleague, and she is always supportive. Having seen seven years’ worth of her interns come and go, I know that most of them feel the same way.

I do agree with you on one point, though. Nina is utterly fabulous. I’ve never met anyone like her, and I mean that in the best possible way.

We thank Mr. Shapiro for these thoughts.*

So, after reading all about her, what do you think of Nina Totenberg? Take our reader poll, after the jump.

Ever since our original request for colorful stories about the delicious Nina Totenberg, the doyenne (or maybe the dean?) of the Supreme Court press corps, we've experienced an avalanche of anecdotes about this larger-than-life legal journalist.

We still have a few reports in the queue. Here's the latest contribution:

Any discussion of Totenberg must include John Hockenberry's recountings of her diva-like attitude around the NPR newsroom. He writes about her in his well-known memoir, Moving Violations. Note that Hockenberry implies Totenberg will ruin the career of anyone who crosses her. [Ed. note: YIKES.]

Go to Amazon and search for "Totenberg" in the book, John Hockenberry, Moving Violations: War Zones, Wheelchairs, and Declarations of Independence. Starting around page 174, you'll read this...

If you haven't tired of reading about Ms. Nina -- we know we haven't, but everyone's different -- check out the rest of this post, after the jump.

Our series of posts on that delicious legal diva, Nina Totenberg of NPR, has made the pages of the Washington Post:

A blog that labels itself a "legal tabloid" has been soliciting juicy anecdotes about NPR legal affairs correspondent Nina Totenberg's on-the-job behavior, but Totenberg says she's just doing her job.

In a post on Above the Law authored by the blog's editor in chief, David Lat, one anecdote describes the correspondent entering the Supreme Court's press section moments before a morning session begins -- and asking someone sitting in the front row to surrender the seat.

Totenberg gets her way, it says, "because nobody says no to Nina."

But not so fast: Totenberg says that since she happens to be the dean of the Supreme Court press corps, she actually has an assigned seat -- that nice one, right up front.

Who knew the Supreme Court press gallery was just like a high school cafeteria? On first Mondays we wear pink!

Totenberg's complete comment, and our reaction, after the jump.

We are still accepting your colorful anecdotes about Nina Totenberg, NPR's legendary Supreme Court correspondent, and a celebrity within legal and media circles. Past installments appear here and here.

Today we have two more stories to offer, both variations on a theme. Here's the first:

I really have to mention here a little semi-encounter I had with Totenberg during the day I covered the Scooter Libby trial. When I arrived, I sat down in a random spot -- and quickly discovered that Ms. Nina had apparently managed to convince all the journos covering the trial that a certain portion of the court bench was her personal property.

Sadly, the trial did not go on further. I really wanted to sit in her chair!

We're not surprised. It's completely consistent with our second story -- which you can check out, if you're interested, after the jump.

Okay, working at the U.S. Department of Justice may not be a party these days. But the recently announced, imminent departure of Assistant Attorney General Rachel L. Brand -- her last day at the DOJ's Office of Legal Policy is July 9 -- had nothing to do with recent controversies (contrary to some insinuations).

As tout le monde in D.C. legal circles knows, the fabulous Brand -- known to some as the Prom Queen -- was planning to step down for some time. The reason? She and her husband, Deputy Assistant Attorney General Jonathan Cohn, are expecting a baby boy next month.

The lede of this Reuters report, while technically accurate, is therefore misleading. Thankfully, the Washington Post was more accurate:

[T]he Justice Department announced that Rachel Brand, assistant attorney general for legal policy, is resigning....

Justice officials said she plans to leave July 9 and stay at home with her first child, due this summer.

Brand, who worked on the renewal of the USA Patriot Act last year and the confirmation of two Supreme Court justices in 2005, is not known to have played a direct role in the U.S. attorneys' removal.

"[N]ot known to have played a direct role" -- maybe because she didn't? If she had, rest assured that Chuck & Friends would have invited her over to Capitol Hill for a televised chat.

[D]epartment officials have said that Gonzales's former chief of staff, D. Kyle Sampson, asked her whether she might want to replace a Michigan prosecutor who was forced out. Though interested at first, Brand did not apply for the job.

Yes, Brand shrewdly did not throw her hat into that ring. As we previously noted:

In declining to be considered, Rachel Brand showed the excellent judgment that has taken her so far, so fast. Had Rachel Brand replaced Margaret Chiara, she would have been the victim of a mainstream media pile-on. The New York Times editorial board would have derided her as a Bush Administration political hack with no prosecutorial experience (albeit a hack with impeccable academic credentials, including Harvard Law School and a Supreme Court clerkship with Justice Kennedy).

So what's next for Rachel Brand (in addition to a bouncing baby boy)? She's rumored to be meeting with various private law firms -- and any of them would be lucky to snag this young legal superstar.

Brand has devoted the past six and a half years of her career to government service. She leaves the Bush Administration even more highly esteemed, on both sides of the aisle, than when she came in. This is no small feat, given the controversies that have shaken the DOJ, as well as the highly partisan atmosphere currently prevailing here in Washington.

We congratulate Rachel Brand on her successful leadership of the Office of Legal Policy, and we wish her the best of luck in her future endeavors -- including motherhood!

(Disclosure: We'd mention that we are friendly with Rachel Brand, but we know from past experience that many of you don't like such disclaimers, which come across as shameless name-dropping. So we won't.)

Correction: An earlier version of this post erroneously identified Jonathan Cohn as Deputy Attorney General, rather than Deputy Assistant Attorney General (his correct title).

Assistant Attorney General Rachel Brand Announces Departure [U.S. Dept. of Justice (press release)]
Bush Is Told to Justify Executive Privilege [Washington Post]
DOJ Loses Brand [The BLT: The Blog of the Legal Times]
Seventh official quits Justice Department [Reuters]
Justice Department Official Resigns [Associated Press]

Earlier: Rachel Brand: The Prom Queen Stays Out of Trouble

Our email correspondence with the super-hot lawyer turned Playboy model, Oona O'Connell, continues.

A brief question-and-answer session, plus an uncropped version of this Oonalicious photo, after the jump.

[Thumbnail image. Click to enlarge. Photograph courtesy of Oona O'Connell.]

There should be a law -- against this kind of hotness in a U.S. law school classroom!

As you may recall, lawyer cum Playboy model Oona O'Connell was not pleased by our prior coverage of her. She recently sent us an angry email, taking us to task for publishing malicious gossip.

Our response to Oona O'Connell, followed by her reply, after the jump.

A friend of Paris Hilton, who saw the hotel heiress during her all-too-brief house arrest, had this to say about how Hilton was treated in jail:

“It’s so cruel what has happened to her. She wasn’t allowed to wax or use a moisturiser. Her skin is so dry right now.”

Judge Michael Sauer: Have you no sense of [evolving standards of] decency?

Paris banged up ... again [The Sun - UK]
Roper v. Simmons [Legal Information Institute / Cornell Law School]
U.S. Constitution: Eighth Amendment [FindLaw]

Apparently Judge Michael Sauer agreed with the 60 percent of ATL readers who viewed her release from prison as "a miscarriage of justice." From TMZ.com, the authoritative source for all things Paris:

Paris Hilton was just ordered back to jail in Lynwood to serve out the remainder of her sentence! She'll get credit for 5 days already served.

Hilton left the courtoom in tears, screaming, "Mom, Mom, Mom."

One witness described the scene as: Paris was "physically escorted" out of the courtroom by a female deputy.

Hilton's mother was later seen pacing the hallways, telling reporters, "I'm paralyzed right now." Paris' father Rick is still in the courtroom.

From the Los Angeles Times:

Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer made his ruling after a hearing that followed a tumultuous sequence in which Hilton was brought to court in a sheriff's patrol car. Earlier, it seemed that she would only attend the hearing via telephone.

"The defendant is remanded to L.A. County jail," Sauer said after an hourlong hearing. "The order is final and forthwith."

Wearing a beige zippered sweater, Hilton crumpled into tears.

You go, girl -- right back to the slammer. As for the anal herpes, good luck with that.

Hilton Ordered Back to Jail! [TMZ.com]
A crying Hilton is sent back to jail [Los Angeles Times]
Screaming Paris Hilton Sent Back to Jail [Associated Press via Washington Post]

Earlier: Paris Hilton's Jail Break: What Do You Think?

If you've been away from the news cycle today, read our two prior posts.

If you're up to speed on this story, go ahead and vote:

On the subject of Paris Hilton's recent release from jail, Entertainment Tonight reports:

L.A. County Sheriff Spokesperson STEVE WHITMORE told reporters that due to "medical issues," the heiress had been "reassigned" at about 2:00 a.m. Thursday and would finish out her sentence on house arrest....

Sources close to the Hilton family tell ET the medical reason was actually a rash she developed on her body.

Mention of a bodily rash provides support for this ATL reader comment:

My friend's brother (who works with [Sheriff Lee] Baca's assistant sheriffs) told me that Paris was released due to a severe, "stress-induced" herpes outbreak. He also said that he heard that the blisters had apparently spread to her anus and had taken on abcess-like features that required more serious medical attention. Thus, after taking into account jail overcrowding, the increasing liability that Paris presents, and Paris's lesions, all things weighed in favor of her being put on home confinement.

Was a case of anal herpes a "Get Out of Jail Free" card for Paris Hilton?

More discussion, after the jump.